Sermons on Crude Joking:

What Did You Expect?

Contributed by John Beehler on Jul 1, 2003

Who do you see, a Messiah or a carpenter?

What Did You Expect? For most of us, the most powerful negative feeling we will ever experience is the feeling of rejection. People are rejected by their parents, children, spouses, co-workers, friends, peers, and even fellow church members! In our scripture for today, Jesus ...read more

Scripture: Mark 6:1-6

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Characters At The Crib- Were You There? (Christmas)

Contributed by Ewen Huffman on Dec 31, 2001

A sermon at Carols by Candlelight. Teaching and evangelistic

Carols by candlelight 16 Dec 2001 pm. Characters at the crib- were you there? Herod The last reading (Mt 2:13-18) grounds this all, doesn’t it? Places it firmly in the realm of - our world. This last year. Troubles still emanating from there & ‘religion’ - reality… not fantasy. This is no ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 2:13-18

Denomination: Baptist

The Macdonaldtown Parables (Matthew 13:31-33, 44-45)

Contributed by David Smith on Nov 7, 2007

Sermons by Father Dave ...

Our Gospel reading this week confronts us with a series of parables - the sort that my dad (if he was still alive) might well have referred to as MacDonaldtown Parables. I don’t know if you’re familiar with MacDonaldtown Station. It‘s not far from our church building. I don’t believe there’s ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 13:31-33

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Open Mouth Insert Foot Series

Contributed by Roger Nelmes on Jan 29, 2008

Tonight we start chapter three of the book of James and discover the power of the tongue.

Tonight we start chapter three of the book of James and discover the power of the tongue. We have titled tonight’s message “Open Mouth, Insert Foot.” Have you ever done that? Illustration: Children are good at doing this…of course they don’t realize it because they don’t know any ...read more

Scripture: James 3:1-12

Denomination: Pentecostal

Hearing God Speak In The Storms

Contributed by Shane Burney on Sep 13, 2006

Hear God in everything, even storms.

Hearing God Speak In The Storms *Prayer, reverence and honor * Matt. 7: 21-27 * 3 expectant fathers * God uses unusual things to get our attention: 1. God used a rooster to preach to Peter 2. God used the whale with Jonah 3. God used a donkey to speak to Balaam ( Num: 22) 4. God uses a ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 7:21-27

Denomination: Baptist

What Made The Wisemen Wise ?

Contributed by Mike Turner on Nov 26, 2003

The wise men were very educated.....but what really made them wise ?

What Made The Wise Men Wise ? Matthew 2:1-11 Jokes: 3 Wise Women Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men? They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 2:1-11

Denomination: Baptist

The Subject Of Sin

Contributed by Jerry Cosper on Mar 28, 2012

Jesus promised the woman at the well the living water of spiritual rebirth. But before she could receive the living water of spiritual rebirth the matter of sin had to be discussed.

Last week we got into the story of the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4: 1-14. We found that the woman was intrigued when Jesus asked her to give Him a drink. Jesus then offered this woman the Living Water. But we also said that there were some matters that she had to straighten out before ...read more

Scripture: John 4:15-18

Denomination: Baptist

Christmas Message Isaiah 7:10-14 & Matthew 1:23

Contributed by Ken Henson on Dec 3, 2013

God takes a curse and turns it into a blessing. The prophecy a virgin would bring forth a son expressed God's displeasure with Ahab, yet God took that warning to Ahab and used it as a blessing to us. God, even today, turns our curses to blessings.

Some Children’s Christmas jokes: (http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/xmas/jokes.html ) What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and an ordinary alphabet? A Christmas alphabet has no l (noel-get it?) Why is it always cold at Christmas? Because it’s ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 7:10-14

Denomination: *other

A Disgusted God Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 22, 2022

God is patient, but His patience is limited. He can get to a point of disgust, disgust which is then followed by His wrath.

A Disgusted God (Isaiah 5:1-30) 1. Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was profanity. Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, anything she could ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 5:1-30

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Return Of Christ Series

Contributed by Brad Beaman on Mar 24, 2022

When a believer dies, others are not to grieve like those who have no hope in Christ. But for believers we are grieving for ourselves and our loss, not for the person that died. This assurance believers have is because of the hope we have in Christ.

Do we know the exact time of the return of the Lord? Yes, we do! But didn’t Jesus say, “that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven” (Mathew 24:36). Yes, He did say that. Then how do we know the day and hour of the return of Christ? It is when the trumpet sounds. It is just ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17, 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11

Denomination: Baptist

A Secret No Longer Sermon Viii: Choosing The Right Path Not God's Wrath Series

Contributed by Charles Cunningham on Apr 6, 2020

Contrast the Christian path you chose for your life versus the awful wrath that awaits those who oppose the way of Christ, and renew your commitment to follow Jesus all the way.

The Path You Chose vs The Wrath Reserved for Those Who Oppose When Mrs. Morris, our next door landlord, looked out her kitchen window and saw me taking hold of the well bucket attached to the end of a rope - the bulk of which was wrapped around a spindle ...read more

Scripture: Romans 1:18-25

Every Careless Word

Contributed by Kelvin Mckisic on Jun 25, 2023

We need to be careful what we say because God will judge us by the things we say.

Every Careless Word Matthew 12:36-37 "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." In short: we need to be careful what we say because God ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:36-37, Psalm 34:12-14, Jude 1:9

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

"What's Stopping You?"

Contributed by Alan Chandler on Feb 19, 2002

Looking at what the Spirit did for Peter at Pentecost, can encourage us to accomplish great things for God!

"WHAT’S STOPPING YOU?" Acts 2: 14-41 I) Intro: A) Obstacles into Opportunities (Local illustrations work best) II) Text: (Joke about length…remember the text is a sermon) A) Recap 1) Spirit came upon them / other tongues 2) Being made fun of B) Peter Defends position 1) Not drunk… 2) Uses text ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:14-41, Acts 2:14-36

Denomination: Methodist

Good Manners And Right Conduct

Contributed by Rogelio Dy Cezar on Aug 31, 2006

So Christian should observe good manners and right conduct wherever we are, so that people will know that we are indeed children of God.

Text: 1 Timothy 4: 11-12 INTRODUCTION: 1. All Christians are obliged to teach good manners and right conduct to all believers as commanded. (v. 11) 2. Christians must be good examples worthy to be imitated by all men. 3. In short, Christians should act as models in society. 4. That is why Jesus ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:11-12

Denomination: Church Of God

Glorious Future

Contributed by Rev. Richard Adesola on Feb 15, 2013

A glorious future awaits you

BIBLE READING: JER. CHAPTER 29 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you saith the Lord, thought of peace, ant not of evil, to give you an expected end JER.29:11. God Almighty is ever faithful to His word. What He says He will do because He is not a mortal man that takes the issue ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11

Denomination: Pentecostal