Sermons on Crude Joking:

Being Born From Above

Contributed by Gaither Bailey on Jun 11, 2006

Being "born again" and being "born from above" are different sides of the same coin. Christ Jesus says, we cannot enter the kingdom of God without a dramatic, spiritual change. Putting it another way, we have to be born of the spirit from above.

Being Born From Above – John 3: 1 - 17 Intro: 3 men died and were standing at the pearly gates. “What have you done to deserve heaven?” asked Peter. The 1st man, a police officer, said, “I enforced the law and fought crime.” Peter said, “OK, go on in.” The 2nd was a wealthy man who said, “I ...read more

Scripture: John 3:1-17

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Supreme Power Series

Contributed by Kevin Ruffcorn on Jun 25, 2007

Jesus expands his ministry into gentile territory and is immediately confronted by evil. He overcomes the evil and in doing so assures us that he will overcome whatever evil that confronts us in our lives.

Luke 8:26-39 “Supreme Power” INTRODUCTION One of the all time favorite Bible stories is the tale of David and Goliath. We all remember the story of gutsy little David, who was a shepherd by trade, going against the giant Goliath, who was a professional soldier. David was so scrawny that ...read more

Scripture: Luke 8:26-39

Denomination: Lutheran

Leave, Cleave And Weave

Contributed by David Ibeleme on Jun 28, 2008

Helping Married folks adjust to and enjoy their marriage

LEAVE, CLEAVE & WEAVE “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Gen. 2:24 The marriage union is likened to the relationship between Jesus and the Church – Eph. 5:31. It is therefore the greatest level of relationship ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:24

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Motherhood: The Blessing, The Curse, And The Challenge

Contributed by Charles Whitmire on May 22, 2008

This is a mother’s day message...

Allow me to start this morning with a confession: I know it will come as a shock to some of you... I am not a mother! Truthfully, this message might be better delivered by a mother ...but I think this morning you are going to have to settle for me... Allow me to read this mornings text - Proverbs ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-31

Denomination: Baptist

Gift Giving! (Hix)

Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Dec 16, 2012

What are you giving God this Christmas?

Gift To Give This Christmas Give the Gift of Listening – Really listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening. Give the Gift of Affection – Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 2:1-12

Denomination: Baptist

Sanctity Of Human Life

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Jan 1, 2018

When it comes to human life, God's Word is the final authroity. Scripture is clear, God created mankind and has His hand on them even before birth.

Sanctity of Human Life God Has the Final Word The whole of Scripture teaches that mankind is created by God and given the choice to live for Him (Joshua 24:15), to live for self (Galatians 5:19), the world (Mark 4:19) or believe the lies of the devil (John 8:44). The world view and the devil ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 1:5, Genesis 1:26-27

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Elisha The Eye Prophet Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 13, 2017

This may be the information age, but God is the ultimate information regulator. He determines what we do and do not perceive.

Elisha the Eye Prophet (2 Kings 6:8-23) We are all vulnerable in different ways: 1. “In 1991, an organization called Michigan’s Timid Motorist assisted 830 motorists across the MacKinac Bridge that is five miles long and 200 feet high. The drivers were so scared of heights that they couldn’t drive ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 6:8-23

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Confession And Repentance

Contributed by Howard Gunter on Oct 16, 2017

Understanding confessing and repentance - what they are and what they are not

Confession and Repentance ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Before I begin, let me share that a good portion of what is contained herein was gleaned from an article by Brad Hambrick on October 15, 2017, entitled Manipulative Repentance: 8 Red Flag Phrases. The article was published online at: ChurchLeaders.com. I ...read more

Scripture: Acts 3:19-20

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Substance Abuse

Contributed by Noel Atkinson on Jul 18, 2010

This sermon looks at the damage done by substance abuse. With numerous biblical stories about alcohol abuse followed up by the need to put our trust in Jesus, it balances modern statistics with solid biblical teaching. It also covers matters such as illeg

Hot topics – Substance Abuse Introduction: This is a different sermon to the ones I normally preach but for two weeks of the year I like to approach hot topics that I normally would not preach on. Hence this week I am preaching on ‘drugs’ and next week I am preaching on ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:15-18

Denomination: Baptist

Part 1 - Genesis 19:1-8 - Sold Out! Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jul 21, 2010

After she is SOLD for a pitiful $45 dollars, she is never seen again by her family, and ushered into the world of PROSTITUTION. In high demand, she is sexually exploited by Western Tourists in Cambodia. She is only 12 years old.

Part 1 - Genesis 19:1-8 - SOLD OUT! Her father gently tries to persuade her with promises of a better life. She cries and shudders but does not move. As tears stream down her face He becomes angry and manhandles her out the door. She becomes hysterical. A sharp slap across her faces shocks her ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 19:1-8

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Doing The Right Thing Is Not Always The 'done' Thing

Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Nov 3, 2010

A short talking looking at how Zacchaeus and Jesus both did the right thing, even though in the eyes of those around them it was not the 'done' thing. Jesus in particular upset 'all the people' by eating a meal with Zacc. It was not the 'done' thing - but

There is a phrase from my childhood that has been rattling around in my brain this morning. Some might say it is rattling around because it is bouncing around all by itself with no other thoughts to keep it company! Yes, I know, we men are not too good at doing two things at once, but I’m ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:1-10

Denomination: Anglican

Thoughts From A Fruitcake

Contributed by Dwane Parsons on Dec 17, 2010

A short, fun Christmas themed object lesson comparing the Gospel and fruitcake.

I was thinking about fruitcake the other day. Fruitcake is a really familiar symbol of Christmas. Fruitcake is a little bit like Jesus, too. 1. Fruitcake is full of wonderful things that taste good and are good for you. Cherries, pineapple, raisins, dates, molasses, eggs, flour, cake… all ...read more

Denomination: *other

"I Would Rather Receive"

Contributed by Brad Henry on Sep 6, 2011

How to know the condition of our heart and how to change it.

I have come to know that everything we do in this life is a heart issue. The Lord talks a lot in the bible about a hardened heart. A hardened heart is one that is not pliable, one that is hard to break through, one that shows no emotion. But a soft heart, one that is pliable can feel pain and give ...read more

Scripture: Luke 20:31

Demons

Contributed by Bala Samson on Mar 14, 2013

Why ‘ghost stories’ and ghost games have such mass appeal remain opaque to me!

They are no comical chaps! Mark 6:7”And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power over unclean spirits.” Why ‘ghost stories’ and ghost games have such mass appeal remain opaque to me! May be because of the fun they get out ...read more

Scripture: Mark 6:7

Denomination: Pentecostal

Engraved You In His Hands!

Contributed by Bala Samson on Sep 15, 2013

That’s an invitation from God! He wants you to come and see! The problem arises because we refuse to see what He shows and we are busy looking into the doctor’s report, HR report, friend’s statement and the bank statement. Are you listening to me?

In HIS pockets! Isaiah 49:16 “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..” Title sounds weird? You’re going to like/love it as you get to the end of the message! That’s an invitation from God! He wants you to come and see! The problem arises because we refuse ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 49:16

Denomination: Pentecostal