Sermon "When I Was A Child.." - How Childhood Affects Our Characters

There are those of us who were fortunate and blessed enough to receive regular encouragement, praise and reassurance. Sometimes this was given alongside negative comments and over-criticism, undoing much of the good achieved by the more positive words and actions.

Sadly, those of us whose parents, guardians or teachers did not understand the dangers of negative words and over-criticism are almost certainly those of us who are lacking in self-confidence and are significantly more self-conscious.

Some of us may also have been bullied at some time whilst at school and the memories can last a long time.

So what can we do about this?

The truth is, none of us can change our past. We can only live for the present and prepare ourselves for our future.

What was true of our experience as children and teenagers is still true today.

If we allow ourselves to be surrounded by negative, unhelpful, unkind, unthoughtful, uncaring and unloving people, or those who are simply unobservant or over-critical of us, we will simply compound and magnify many of the hang-ups and complexes we were allowed to develop as children or teenagers.

As the Book of Proverbs confirms, even as children, we were know by both our conduct and words...

“20:

11 Even small children are known by their actions -

you can see if their conduct is pure and right

12 Ears that hear and eyes that see—

the LORD has made them both.”

Of course, it is important to remember that the same is also true for us today as adults. We must do our utmost to surround ourselves with positive, constructive, kind, thoughtful, caring and loving people. By doing so, we can overcome many of the hang-ups and complexes we were allowed to develop as children or teenagers.

WAYS TO COMMUNICATE

It can be said that there are basically four ways to communicate, but each of them speaks volumes!

1. You can say something negative or unhelpful

2. You can say nothing

Sometimes this is a good thing, such as when something is kindly overlooked out of compassion, sympathy or mercy. And, sometimes, just listening can be the right thing to do. Sometimes someone just needs to be heard.

However, most times, a lack of communication is a bad thing. Without communication, you cannot truly know if someone has a problem and, if the communication isn't both ways, the other person isn't getting an answer or reassurance to their problems or questions.

3. You can say something positive and encouraging.

4. You can show the person physical affection, by smiling, or giving them an affectionate squeeze, hug, cuddle or kiss, or simply by putting an arm around their shoulders (even just sympathetic body-language or mirroring can reassure someone.)

When something positive and encouraging is said, and also followed-up with physical affection, then that is extremely powerful. The other person feels reassured and loved. Even if the other person cannot solve their problem, or give them an answer to their dilemma, they have still been heard and shown that others care about their suffering or confusion.