Sermon On Diffidence

John Balguy, an English divine and philosopher once remarked: “Whoever is wise is apt to suspect and be diffident of himself, and upon that account is willing to "hearken unto counsel,” whereas the foolish man, being in proportion to his folly full of himself, and swallowed up in conceit, will seldom take any counsel but his own, and for that very reason, because it is his own.” Matthew 17:5 reminds us: “He was still speaking when, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.”

Diffidence is defined as modesty or shyness resulting from a lack of self-confidence. It can include such things as timidity, self-consciousness and self-effacement. Diffidence can be harmful to how we perceive ourselves and our stature in life. It can make a person feel worthless and cause significant mental problems of insecurity.

There is a concept that: “The grass is always greener on the other side.” This can relate to many situations in life including the prospect of emigration to another country, possibly starting a new career or can even involve an element in romancing. Some would argue that the attractions of another, such as one’s appearance, charm, personality and the like, are often more appealing than their own charisma. Others would disagree and believe that this is a fallacy because one is in control of their own life and life is what you make it.

A story is told of a 25-year-old single man who had always wanted, but had never managed to attain, an attractive girlfriend. His occupation was defined as a watch repairer. He owned a small shop in the seaside town of Cleethorpes, located in North East Lincolnshire.

His father had been a watch repairer for most of his life and when he retired, had passed the business on to his son to give him a valuable start in life. The father had taught him all he knew. He had a good understanding of the intricate workings of watches and was considered an expert in his field. This knowledge had taken him several years to acquire. However, he had little self-esteem as he considered himself plain in looks. Robert Walpole, a British statesman and Whig politician once remarked: “Persons extremely reserved are like old enamelled watches, which had painted covers, that hindered your seeing what o’clock it was.”

He considered that his nose was not perfectly shaped, his teeth could have been whiter and as to his ears, he felt, that these were so large and probably more suitable for catching rain rather than performing the intended function of hearing. When he spoke, he often had a nervous stammer that was caused purely by a significant lack of self-confidence.

To him, the grass always appeared greener on the other side. Actually, this was unrealistic reasoning as he was over-critical of his looks. He believed that these thoughts were the reasons why he lacked his essential asset in life, a girlfriend. 1 Peter 2:1-5 confirms: “So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation - if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

There is a renowned saying that: "Two things are two sides of the same coin." This suggests that there are always different ways of looking at the same situation. One person's perspective or opinion will be totally different to another's. Although he didn't accept it, he actually was quite good-looking.

He was of slim build, with fairly good teeth, a pleasant personality and good manners. There was a nightclub situated on the seafront which often catered for special nights specifically for single people. As this was one of the few places around where he stood any chance of meeting someone new, he regularly attended the venue. Unbeknown to him, he often appeared very attractive in the eyes of girls. Many would watch him constantly during the evening and hope that he would approach them to ask for a dance. His lack of confidence was so apparent, that it had become a pitiful waste of a reasonably good-looking person.

A personal friend had once informed him that a black and dense cloud appeared to be hovering over a well-presented person. He needed to have more confidence in himself as it was apparently sadly lacking in him. Hebrews 12:1 reminds us: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”