Sermon 11 - Relations That Work Series

Introduction:

A. Let’s start with a Peanuts cartoon about relationships.

1. Lucy says to Snoopy: “There are times when you really bug me, but I must admit there are also times when I feel like giving you a big hug.”

2. Snoopy replies: “That’s the way I am…huggable and buggable.”

B. And how true is that for all of us - there are parts of us, our personalities and behaviors, that at times cause people to want to hug us, but at other times it causes them to want to do something else to us.

1. Years ago, there was a poster that read: “Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing…It requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.”

2. Relationships can be complicated and require a lot of maturity, patience, love, and forgiveness.

C. Today in our study from the book of Colossians, we will notice that Paul moves from some general principles about the peace of Christ ruling, the word of Christ dwelling, and doing everything in the name of Jesus, to instructions about specific relationships.

1. Paul wants us to understand that God’s reign and God’s influence in our lives should impact our relationships.

2. As we look at these three specific relationships, we will notice some important principles.

3. First, we will notice that there are different roles in some relationships.

a. There are defined roles for husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and slaves (or employers and employees).

b. Let’s keep in mind that we are talking about roles, not about rulers.

c. And let’s keep in mind that each person has equal value and certain rights, regardless of their roles.

4. Second, we will also notice that there is a reciprocal quality to godly and healthy relationships.

a. In other words, the relationship goes both ways, it isn’t just about one person in the relationship.

b. The relationship between husbands and wives, parents and children, and master and slave shouldn’t be just about one side of the relationship or one person in the relationship.

c. There should be a mutual concern and a symbiotic relationship.

d. This was a radical idea for the 1st century because women, children and slaves had very low status and rights.

e. In this way Christianity elevated the status of women and children and put in motion the end of slavery.

D. With that background and foundation in mind, let’s explore Paul’s instructions for these pairs of relationships.

1. Let’s go in the order of the pairs as Paul presented them and also in the order of the persons in the pairs: wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters.

2. I don’t know why Paul didn’t begin by addressing the leader of each of the pairs (Husbands, parents, and masters), but chose to begin by addressing the followers or the ones who are subject to the leaders (wives, children, slaves).

3. Logically, I would have thought that Paul would begin by addressing the lead role in the relationship, but maybe he didn’t because the follower role is a hard role, but for different reasons than then difficulty of being in the leader role (both roles are hard in different ways).

I. God’s Model for Marriage (Col. 3:18-19)

A. Paul wrote: 18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. (Col. 3:18-19)

1. We notice that the one duty that Paul requires of wives is submission.

2. I know that this might be a challenging pill to swallow in our time and culture, regardless of how we define submission, but I think it is important to have a proper definition.

3. Please understand that submission is not obedience or slavery.

4. Notice that Paul didn’t say: “wives obey your husbands,” but Paul did say: “children obey your parents” and “slaves obey your masters.”

5. So, there is a difference between submission and obedience, although obedience is one way to express our submission.

B. Submission literally means “to arrange under rank” – it recognizes different roles of authority, or leadership.

1. Our God is a God of order and if God had not put in place some chain of authority, then there would be chaos and confusion.

2. Submission is a military term that recognizes roles and authority.

3. It doesn’t have anything to do with value, inferiority, or ability.

4. In the military, you can have a private (who is new to the military), who is technically much smarter than the sergeant or general they are serving under.

5. In the same way, many a wife has a higher IQ than her husband and yet in her role as wife lives in submission to her husband’s headship.