(Secion 1) Intro, Personality Types, Stages Of Love Series

2. Birds of a feather do indeed flock together. One of the most powerful lessons generated by the study of close relationships is that we like to associate with people who are similar to us. Our friends, as well as our lovers, are much more like us. Our friends, as well as our lovers are much more like us than unlike us. In some limited cases and on some isolated characteristics, opposites attract.

a. When similarities attract.

Consensual validation explains why individuals are attracted to people who are similar to themselves. Our own attitudes and behavior are supposed when

someone else’s attitudes and behavior validate ours. (Hey, you tend to think just the way I do on most matters!)

Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behavior John w. Santrock, 1991 pgs 628-638

b. When opposites attract -- Temperaments – those “raw material” aspects of

personality (the combination of inborn traits that subconsciously affect a person’s

behavior) that revolve about a person’s pattern of activity, sociability, impulsiveness, and susceptibility to emotional stimulation.

In a series of studies of more than two hundred infants, Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess (1997) found that during the first weeks of life, babies show distinct individuality in temperaments that is independent of their parents’ handling and personalities. About 10% of all infants are “difficult babies” --- they wail and cry a good deal, spit out new foods, eat and sleep irregularity, and are difficult to pacify. Another 15% are “slow to warm up babies” -they have low activity levels, adapt slowly, are wary in new situations, and tend to be somewhat withdrawn. Still another 40% are “easy babies” – they have sunny, cheerful dispositions and readily adapt to new foods and people. Finally, the remaining 35% display a mixture of traits that do no suggest simple categories. (What’s the point of all of this? Am I saying that you are married to or will marry a “difficult” baby? Well, perhaps. But , what I am trying to sway is this: “The person that you are married to or will marry, had a definite genetic influence on his or her life. If the influences is negative, God can help you work with them, and can help them work with you. Remember however, that nature – genes is not the only influence in our lives. Nurture is equally important.)

Understanding Psychology Scarr, Vander, and Zanden 1987 421—424

c. Four temperaments From Tim LaHaye

(You may find yourself or your spouse adequately described in one of the four temperaments, or you may see them as a combination. I am not saying that one temperament is better than the other, just that they exist. Each one has its positives and negatives.”

TAKE THE TEST BEFORE MOVING FORWARD

UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY TRAITS

Take this simple test to determine your personality type. Mark the appropriate areas. The point of the test is to show that each of us has a unique personality type and that we tend to marry opposites (those who complement us.) Also, you may want to attempt to determine your spouse’s personality type.