Saved, Single, And Sexy, Seminar Series

SAVED, SINGEL, AND SEXUAL

IN OUR FIRST SESSION SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, WE DISCOVERED THAT IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE, AND THAT ALSO, BEING SINGLE IS NOT A DIRTY WORD. WE DISCUSSED THE DATING PROCESS AND THINGS TO CONSIDER AS DATING SINGLES. NOW WE MOVE INTO AN AREA THAT IS OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT BUT NOT ADDRESSED, AND THAT IS OUR PLIGHT OF INTIMACY AS SINGLES. THIS LECTURE SHALL DEAL WITH A HOST OF SUBJECTS SUCH AS: THE SEXUAL DRIVE, CELIBACY, GIVING IN TO TEMPTATION AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS, AND MASTURBATION.

I. THE SEX DRIVE

LESTER SUMRALL IN HIS BOOK, "60 THINGS GOD SAID ABOUT SEX,¨ INFORM US THAT GOD CREATED US MALE AND FEMALE, WITH THE INTENTION OF US BEING PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER. GOD HAS GIVEN EACH PERSON AN ENDOWMENT OF PHYSICAL FORCES THAT ARE REFERRED TO AS "DRIVES.¨ THE SEX DRIVE WAS GIVEN BY GOD, AND IT HAS ITS PROPER PLACE IN OUR LIVES. MANY CHRISTIANS FEEL THAT THE SEX DRIVE IS NEGATIVE, THEREFORE, THEY ATTEMPT TO SUPPRESS OR IGNORE IT. HOWEVER, EVERYTHING THAT GOD HAS CREATED IS GOOD GEN. 1:31.

ALTHOUGH THE SEX DRIVE IS GOOD, IT MUST BE CONTROLLED, WHICH LIKE ANYTHING ELSE REQUIRES DISCIPLINE. IF WE ALLOW OUR EATING TO GET OUT OF CONTROL, WE WILL FIND OURSELVES OVERWEIGHT AND POSSIBLY ILL. IF WE PERMIT OUR FINANCIAL SPENDING TO GET THE BEST OF US, WE WILL FIND OURSELVES IN A FINANCIAL DISASTER. IF WE DON’T GET THE BEST OF OUR SEX DRIVE, OUR SEX DRIVE WILL GET THE BEST OF US!

THE FIRST THING THAT WE MUST TAKE NOTICE OF IS THAT GOD MADE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE FOR THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE. SUMRALL STATES, "ANY OTHER USAGE PERVERTS GOD’S PURPOSE.¨ THE SEX DRIVE CAN BE CONTROLLED BY REMEMBERING THAT TO VIOLATE GOD’S WORD IS TO BRING DISHONOR UPON HIM AND OURSELVES. A REGULAR DEVOTIONAL PERIOD WITH THE LORD IS CRITICAL. WE MUST SPEND TIME WITH HIM. WILL THIS ALLEVIATE THE URGE? NO, BUT IF WE KEEP OUR MINDS FOCUSED ON HIM, IT WILL DETOUR THE DESIRE OF LUST.

THE SEX DRIVE IS NOT A DIRTY WORD, NOR IS IT SINFUL. IT IS A PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD THAT MUST BE DEALT WITH IN A SERIOUS MATTER. JUST KNOWING THAT WHAT WE DO IN THE DARK, CAN COME BACK TO HUNT, OUGHT TO GIVE US A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY IN CURTAILING THE SEX DRIVE.

CHRIS JACKSON IN HIS BOOK, "THE BLACK CHRISTIAN SINGLES GUIDE TO DATING AND SEXUALITY¨ SAYS, "THE MOST IMPORTANT SEXUAL ORGAN IS THE MIND. THE MIND MUST BE CONDITIONED AND DEVELOPED TO COOPERATE WITH YOUR WILL.¨ IT TAKES DISCIPLINE TO DENY ONES’ FEELINGS. IF FEELINGS ARE SUBMERGED RATHER THAN DEALT WITH, THEY WILL MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN AN UNEXPECTED MANNER.

II. CELIBACY

WE HAVE ALREADY DISCUSSED THAT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE IS FOR THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE, THEREFORE, UNTIL THEN SINGLES SHOULD DO ALL THEY CAN TO REMAIN CELIBATE, OF WHICH THERE IS NO SHAME. SINCE SINGLES ARE TO LIVE CELIBATE LIVES THEY MUST BE CREATIVE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. I AM FULLY AWARE OF THE PRESSURES THAT SINGLES FACE, AND IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO LIVE UP TO GOD’S STANDARDS WITH THE GREAT INFLUENCE OF SEX IN OUR CULTURE. BUT JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DOING IT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT, NOR DOES IT MEAN THAT WE HAVE TO DO IT.

IF WE USE THE JUST SAY NO APPROACH, WE MUST GIVE SINGLES SOMETHING TO SAY YES TO. SINGLES SHOULD SEEK TO ENGAGE IN THE POSITIVE ASPECTS OF RELATIONSHIPS AS OPPOSED TO THE NEGATIVES. EARLIER I STATED THAT IT TAKES CREATIVITY. BELOW ARE SEVERAL IDEAS THAT CAN PROVE BENEFICIAL IN MAINTAINING CELIBACY:

BEGIN AND END YOUR TIME TOGETHER WITH PRAYER.

SET STANDARDS BEFORE YOU NEED THEM.

AVOID DARK SETTINGS AND EXTENDED PRIVACY.

KEEP ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES ON AND STAY VERTICAL.

LET THE STRONG ONE HELP THE WEAK ONE.

REGULATE THE AMOUNT AND CONTENT OF MEDIA EXPOSURE.

AS A SINGLE SAINT, YOUR CELIBACY SHOULD BE IMPORTANT TO YOU. THEREFORE, YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: "HOW MUCH DO I LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT MYSELF? HOW MUCH DO I LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT MY PARTNER? HOW MUCH DOES MY PARTNER LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT ME? HOW MUCH DO I LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT GOD? JACKSON SAYS, "SACRIFICING SEX IN ORDER TO HONOR GOD AND OURSELVES IS A WAY TO LOVE AND HONOR OUR FUTURE SPOUSE EVEN BEFORE WE KNOW WHO THAT PERSON WILL BE."

THE MERE PRESSURE OF WANTING TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE PERSON THAT YOU DATE CAN CAUSE YOU TO COMPROMISE YOUR BELIEF IN THE WORD OF GOD. PASTOR, YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN I’M CELIBATE AND THE URGE GETS TOO STRONG FOR ME TO BEAR AND I FEEL LIKE GIVING IN TO TEMPTATION? GOOD QUESTION. WE WILL DEAL WITH THAT IN THE NEXT OUTLINE.