Roommates, Bad Dates And Great Mates: Dating Series

First of all, if you date someone that you are attracted to long enough, you are eventually going to fall in love and get attached. I mean, that’s just the truth. If you date someone and you say—well, I’m not going to get attached, I’m just going to see how it goes. If you are attracted to them, you are eventually going to get attached, and you will eventually fall in love and then not even God, Himself, will be able to convince you that you are making a mistake, because you will have it set in your mind.

Secondly, and we will talk about this a little bit later, most of the time, you end up compromising your values for the other person, and not the other way around. You see, the other person becomes a stumbling block between you and God and you compromise your values in order to stay with them. That’s why the Bible says, clearly to us, and it’s tough but there’s a reason for it. The Bible says it clearly—we should date other believers. II Corinthians 6, Paul writes, “Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?” You see, it’s important that we look at a person’s faith, and we look at a person’s character, before we enter into a dating relationship because a person’s character and a person’s faith, those are the things that last forever. And those are the things that really matter in a relationship. Dr. Henry Cloud says this, “In a relationship, we are attracted to what we see on the outside, someone’s looks and personality. But in a long-term relationship, what we end up experiencing is what is on the inside, their character and their faith.” You see, God’s desire is for you to have a spouse that you can grow spiritually with. A spouse that you can pray with, that you can read the Bible with, that you can go to church with, that you can raise children in a Godly way with. Don’t sacrifice God’s best because you don’t trust Him enough to wait for the right person. Always ask, is this someone that I can marry? If not, then you shouldn’t be dating them. Now, I want you to listen to this. If you are holding on to someone in your life, and the reason that you are holding on to them is because you are afraid that if you let go, there might not be someone else, then you need to let them go. Because, I will tell you this, if you let go, maybe there will be someone else, but I guarantee you, God can’t bring His best into your life as long as you are holding on to something that is second best right now. You have to ask yourself this question, is this someone that I could marry?

3. Marriage, do I need to wait?

So number one, before the date, ask—do I have a plan for this date? Number two, ask—is this a potential mate?

Finally, if you are following God’s plan for your dating life, and this is definitely marriage material, this is definitely someone that you could see yourself marrying, ask yourself this question—marriage, do I need to wait? In other words, should I marry this person? We are living out God’s plan in our dating relationship. They have faith, they have character, they are definitely marrying material, but should I marry this person? Is this the right person? Should I marry them now or should I wait? These are tough questions. And to answer these questions, I want to look at one of the most interesting passages in all of the New Testament. It’s from I Corinthians, Paul spends an entire chapter, if you have never read I Corinthians 7, I encourage you to do so, because Paul spends an entire chapter talking about marriage, and singleness. This is part of what he says. I Corinthians 7:7. He says, “I wish everyone could get along without marrying just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of marriage, and to others He gives the gift of singleness. Now, I say to those who aren’t married, it is better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It is better to marry then to burn with lust.” I think in this passage, it is an interesting passage, and I think Paul reveals three important truths in this passage that we need to know whether we are single or whether we are married.