The 7 Stages of the Prodigal
We can be a prodigal and not even know it. The young man in this parable "came to himself" when he was slopping with the pigs. But if we are aware of the stages we might come to ourselves much earlier and avoid some of the consequences of being estranged from God, or perhaps we can recognize them in others and can assist them in cutting short the fall to rock bottom.
Stage 1 - Steady State
At home, everything seems normal, but he is unsettled. Why does sin’s siren song reach us:
We become complacent, self sufficient, and feeling as if we’ve arrived.
We let our guard down.
1 Peter 5:8-11 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. ESV
We take our relationship with God for granted
We start looking out more than up (seeing the world’s example of success and applying it to our lives in the church or our relationship with God)
Stage 2 - Demanding Freedom
This may sound odd, but I think a little of the new/old prosperity gospel is like the son who asks for his inheritance now. They want worldly wealth and health and that is their focus, not spiritual maturity and brokenness.
Others look at the Bible and find ways to answer their desires under Stage 1. They look at verses like Romans 6:14 "you are not under law but under grace" and think that means they can do whatever they want and God HAS to forgive them.
For others it is the "Lone Ranger" concept. They don’t think they need to be accountable to anyone so they don’t join a church or read the Bible or anything and think they are just God’s secret agent.
Or they may be angry at the church. The son in this parable showed his total disregard for the Father’s wishes and basically wanted no part of the family. For some they have experienced a deep hurt in the church and so separate themselves from it, thinking that will stop the pain. Instead of working through it by going to source of the pain and searching your own heart, they run away.
For others they may have learned something that tickles their mind, or they learn something that is incorrect about the Bible but it makes logical sense and so they disconnect their minds from obeying God or from trusting in His Word.
Stage 3 - On the Wild Side
The Wild Side means you get as far away the church, Christians, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit as possible. Your conscience has become "seared" (1 Timothy 4:2) or beyond sense (Ephesians 4:19) so you no longer feel the pull of the Spirit.
For some it is compartmentalization. They can appear like a Christian on the outside, but on the inside they do, think, and say things they know are not giving glory to God but are yielding to the flesh, but something is not penetrating deep into their hearts to affect that part that wants to sin.
You separate yourself mentally, spiritually, even physically. You go to places to do things where you know you won’t run into Christians. You figure that the world won’t call you on what you’re doing. The Prodigal Son moved outside of Jewish territory. If you find yourself avoiding Christians you might really wonder why?
Stage 4 - Where’s the Feeling Gone?
Hebrews 11:25 …choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. ESV
Sins pleasures are fleeting. Why? Partly it’s because the only true satisfaction comes from God. That being said, sin only offers enough to keep us on the hook.
Ephesians 4:17-19 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. NIV
When the money was gone and the famine changed the environment, suddenly the pleasure was all gone. Sin is a great mask for reality. Satan, who tempts us to sin in concert with our flesh, lies to us that it is in our own self interest to sin. In fact it isn’t, as we saw in Galatians 6:7-8.
Our response when sin begins to let us down is to find something more to take its place. That’s why sometimes we find Christians doing things that are abhorrent.
State 5 - Searching for Answers in all the Wrong Places
The Prodigal decided to join himself to a citizen of that far country. In the same way when we have already made the decision to walk away from God we think that the answers to our dilemma must come from the world. It’s a fallacy.
2 Timothy 4:3-4 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. ESV
When you think you can no longer find answers in God’s Word you find voices that will speak to what your passions tell you. You end up wandering off into false doctrine, but it won’t lead you anywhere but in circles:
2 Timothy 3:6-7 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. ESV
So what happens? We turn to philosophy or pop psychology - the Oprah Winfreying of society. This will simply leave you confused, frustrated, and no closer to an answer than before.
For others you may throw yourself into work and worldly pursuits, filling your time and your energy with anything but God. Sooner or later the Holy Spirit will get to you, though.
Stage 6 - At the Bottom
So here’s our Prodigal. He’s feeding seed pods to the pigs and realizes that even the servants in his father’s house eat better than he does as he longs to even eat the food of the pigs.
This is a terrible and wonderful place to get to. This guy has lost everything and now fears for his life. Jonah had a similar experience in the belly of the big fish. Sometimes God lets us get what we want. We suffer the full consequences of our actions. The result can be sickness or disease, tragedy, lost relationships and jobs and homes. We are left with nothing and don’t even know if we are going to make it.
It may not be physical. Some people’s philosophy leaves them high and dry eventually. Fame is fleeting, money is "easy come easy go."
It’s here that he "comes to himself." We sometimes want to rescue the Prodigal from hitting rock bottom. But often that is exactly what’s needed to learn the hard lesson that life without God at the center isn’t life at all.
Stage 7 - The Return
So the young man declares three things: 1) Recognition of what he has lost (my father’s servants have it better than I do). 2) Recognition of sin (I have sinned against heaven and against my father). 3) I am no longer worthy
These are the three keys to repentance. You see the glory of God, you see the reality of your sin, and you see your true position as you juxtapose yourself with God’s glory.
At this point a crucial decision has to be made. Some people here might say "God will never take me back so I might as well just give up and die." Here as fellow believers we can step in and provide that hope-that no matter what you’ve done, God as a loving Father will open His arms to you, extend forgiveness and restoration. It doesn’t mean the consequences go away, but you are loved and accepted back into God’s family.
Conclusions
Some advice to those of us watching someone become a Prodigal:
Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. ESV
Our tendency might be to exact a little punishment or revenge for the wrongs done by the Prodigal, or make them aware of just how bad they’ve been. Keep this Scripture in mind.
How to stop the attitude of being a prodigal at each stage:
Stage 1: Steady State - Watch for signs of dissatisfaction and lack of growth and the presence of increasing temptation
Stage 2: Demanding Freedom - Watch for lack of accountability and adherence to Scriptural truth
Stage 3: The Wild Side-Sometimes only the sharp scalpel of God’s Word can pierce the hard heart.
Stage 4: Where’s the Feeling Gone?-This is like the gentle slope before the cliff. It’s a good time to stop in your tracks.
Stage 5: Searching for Answers-Remember your first love
Stage 6: Rock Bottom-Remember that all is not lost
Stage 7: The Return-Don’t hesitate.
Characteristics of the Prodigal vs the faithful:
Arrogance vs Humbleness
Isolation vs Fellowship
Ignorance vs Faith
Stubbornness vs Submission
Selfishness vs Giving
