A Motherly Model
John 2:1-11
May 14, 2006
As a male Pastor, I am always intimidated by this day we call Mother’s day. And as a husband, I am a bit intimidated by this day. This day we call Mother’s Day intimidates me as a male Pastor and as a husband because nothing that I can say, do, write or give even comes close to recognizing the role you moms play in the lives of those who find themselves under your influence.
As a Pastor, I am a bit afraid of this day because this day, when we focus our eyes and hearts on our Moms, is for some of you a difficult day. You perhaps didn’t have the greatest mom or you perhaps didn’t grow up with a mom. Or you have wanted to be a mom but due to being single or do to infertility issues this dream wasn’t or has yet to be fulfilled.
This day can be a hard day. It can bring with it a myriad of emotions. And yet I think it is important that we talk about Moms this day. I think it is necessary to talk about Motherhood for our culture seems to be threatening the very understanding of it. If ever there was a need to recognize mom, we are in that season.
So this male pastor and this husband will seek to do just that. And I ask in advance your forgiveness ladies for the things I assume to understand and know that are very far from the reality in which you live.
The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so, " she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"
{Forwarded by Steven Hansen} (Mikey’s Funnies - 5/12/00)
It can be tempting as a husband, a son, a child, to believe that a mom’s only role is that of worker. Working on meals, working on laundry, working at work, working on her children’s homework. But we dare not believe your role to be just that for the overtime you put in, that breaks your backs would break our banks.
You must forgive us Moms - for being naive to what you do, in the middle of the night as we sleep on oblivious to the mess in the room down the hall. For being naïve to the details that you do that keep our children moving toward the next meal, appointment or activity.
But your doing isn’t that which most satisfies and isn’t of the most significance to us. It is your being who you are and how you live with us in private that blesses us. It is your living for Christ in our homes in your deeds and demeanor and dialogues with us that touches us. For it is far easier to live on excellent life among your friends in public when you are consciously putting your best foot forward but another to do it at home when those defenses go down with those you call family.
Our God sees your being ladies. Our God sees. He recognizes that which your husbands don’t. He values that which you live for that is at odds with our consumer culture that creates thirsts that will never be filled. Your ability to prioritize, to have tender hearts is noticed by our God and can be used to bless your family and the generations that follow.
This fact that our Lord sees and notices you, pays attention to you is especially critical for you to hold onto. That he cares far more about who you are than what you check off of that never ending to do list can be a gift of grace.
The Bible is full of stories of women of God who contributed to making this world a better place in which to live and who helped to advance the Kingdom of God. Allow me to remind you of some of these well-known and not so well known women in the Bible.
After the passing of Israel through the midst of the Red Sea, it was Miriam who led the people in their rejoicing, saying, "Sing ye to the Lord, for he hath triumphed gloriously" (Exodus 15:21, KJV).
Ruth put God first and as a result became the ancestress of King David.
Deborah was one to the judges of Israel.
Queen Esther took her life in her hands to plead for her doomed people.
A widow’s obedience to God’s command sustained the prophet Elijah.
A young captive mad told the wife of Naaman about the man of God who would cure Naaman of his leprosy.
A timid woman’s faith in Christ brought healing of body when Jesus said, "Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole" (Matthew 9:22, KJV).
A woman’s grateful love caused her to break an alabaster box and pour precious ointment on Jesus’ head.
A woman’s thankfulness caused her to was the Master’s feet with her tears and to whip His feet with her hair.
A poor widow’s offering of two mites (small coins worth only a fraction of a penny) caused Jesus to say, "this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury" (Mark 12:43, KJV).
Mary Magdalene, bringing spice to anoint Him, first greeted the risen Lord and received the first commission: "Go, tell (Cf. John 20:17).
(Decision Magazine May 2003, Billy Graham)
I could have chosen to speak on any of these, but this morning I want to look at Mary - the mother of Jesus, this one "blessed among women." In the Gospel of John, we see that Mary, the mother of Jesus, played a vital role in His life throughout His ministry. She was there for Him at the end of His ministry, and she was there at the beginning as well. In fact, she was very instrumental in His first miracle.
Read text John 2:1-11.
As we look at how Jesus and His mother related to one another in this story, there are three lessons that both mothers and children can learn. Mothers, you can learn something about the positive role you can continue to play in your children’s lives. And the rest of us can learn how to listen to our mothers - even as adults.
First, be involved in your child’s life. It is no coincidence that Jesus was involved in Mary’s life, and she in His. They continued to spend time together.
Parents often make jokes about how much they are looking forward to getting the kids out of their house and out of their hair forever - and kids make jokes about how much they are looking forward to getting out from under their parents’ control. George Burns said, "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city!"
The fact is, however, the closer we remain to our parents or our children, even in adult years, the better off we’ll all be. I’m not talking about parents controlling their children, making decisions for them and running their lives. Nor am I talking about kids remaining financially dependent on their parents even after they’ve grown up. I’m talking about keeping the lines of communication open and continuing to enjoy each other’s presence. Being included in each other’s lives.
Former President Jimmy Carter spoke at Southern Methodist University and related an incident that occurred after he left the White House. A woman reporter came to Plains, Georgia, to interview his mother in regards to an article about Mr. Carter and his family. His mother really didn’t want to be interviewed, but was being gracious. When the reporter knocked at the door, Mrs. Carter invited her in. The reporter asked some hard questions and was rather rude. She asked, "Your son ran for the presidency on the premise that he would always tell the truth. Has he ever lied?’
Mrs. Carter said, "I think he’s truthful. I think you can depend on his word."
The reporter asked again if he had ever lied in his entire life.
His mother said, "Well, I guess maybe he’s told some little white lies."
"Ah, see there!" the reporter exclaimed. "He’s lied! If he told even one white lie, he has lied." The reporter was still not satisfied and asked, "What is a white lie?"
And Lillian Carter replied, "It’s like a moment ago when you knocked on the door and I came to the door and said I was glad to see you."
Wow! Isn’t that something? Lillian Carter is still involved in her son’s life - still standing up for her son. She was till involved in her son’s life.
Second, be aware of your child’s potential. When the wine suddenly ran out, Mary went to Jesus because she knew He could do something about it. In reading this story, you get the definite impression that if she hadn’t mentioned this need to Jesus, the water wouldn’t have been changed to wine, because no one else records that He performed this miracle. Notice what John says in verse 11, "This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was Jesus’ first display of His glory. And His disciples believed in Him." Mary was the first to recognize His potential.
Now sometimes parents get this wrong - this helping your child reach his/her potential.
My mom thought I had potential as a piano player, so for nearly 5 years I went to weekly piano lessons to try to awaken that talent/that potential. But you know what - it never awakened.
My dad thought I had potential as a baseball player. So he signed me up for little league where I didn’t stand out as being a major talent on our team.
Though I never became a pianist and never became even an average baseball player, Mom and Dad exposing me to these things allowed me in hindsight to value and appreciate music and musicians and athletes and various disciplines that are needed to become good at them.
They knew life was more than waking up, eating, going to school, doing homework and sleeping. They knew my life had abilities beyond this normal structure. That I had potential in other things beyond school so they:
exposed me to them.
suffered with me through them.
encouraged me through them.
believed in me through them.
That’s what a child needs parents, who will expose their children to dreams and wishes and then stick with their child no matter the outcome.
Such things help children have the courage to reach out and pursue great things to live into their potential.
Rochester, MN --Mentally Handicapped boy story . . .
I don’t know that man’s story - but could it be that his Mom believed in him, saw his potential?
What can we learn from Mary?
1st - She was involved in her child’s life.
2nd - She saw his potential - believed in him.
3rd - Be willing to let your children do things themselves. Mary told Jesus about the situation regarding the wine. She told the servants to do whatever Jesus told them to do. Then she stepped out of the picture and let Jesus solve the problem as He saw fit.
When we read this story, we have an advantage that Mary didn’t have. We know what eventually happened. Jesus performed this miracle and many, many more. And He taught thousands of people how to live God’s way. Then He died on the cross for our sins, and on the third day He was raised to life again by the power of His Father. We know all of this now, but Mary didn’t know any of it then. She didn’t know any of the details of the upcoming events in the life of her Son. But she still let him do the work His way. Saying to the servants, "Do whatever He tells you."
Mary didn’t tell Jesus how to perform His miracles or how to be the Messiah. She let Him make those decisions for Himself. Every parent must learn when to step back and allow their child to make his own decisions, whether the parent agrees with them or not. We have to be willing to allow our children to handle the details of their lives themselves.
Our children need an atmosphere where they can specialize, hone their skills, and discover their distinctiveness.
The biographies of the great are sprinkled with accounts of how their families were evidently good at pushing them to cut their own swath and to find the specialty they could be proud of. Take the Taft family for example. When Martha Taft was in elementary school in Cincinnati, she was asked to introduce herself. She said, "My name is Martha Bowers Taft. My grandfather is a United States Senator. My Daddy is Ambassador to Ireland. And I am a Girl Scout."
Inside the front cover of the One Minute Manager, Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson inscribe a motto that captures much of what they are saying the book. That motto is: "Help people reach their full potential. Catch them doing something right."
That child of yours will always be your child. But you have to step back and let them make their own decisions. You have to be willing to let them do things their way. It doesn’t mean you’re not involved. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. And it doesn’t mean you trust their judgment. But it does mean you recognize their responsibility to make their own decisions.
What we see from this story is that a mother never ceases to be a mother. And I want you to see that a son or daughter never stops needing a mother. A mother’s role in the life of her children is so important. That’s why we take this day to honor you mothers for all you’ve done and are still doing. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Let us pray. O Lord our God, words do not suffice to thank You for the mothers who have blessed our lives with their nurture and care. Thank You for every mother potential, and who is willing to let them do things for themselves. Even as Mary pointed out the need to Jesus and then stepped back and let Him solve the problem His way, give us the grace to do the same. We pray for Jesus’ sake. Amen.
Footnotes: The three points and much of the text was taken directly from Ross Foley.
1 Michael Hodgin, Parables, etc., May, 2002, p. 1
2 Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yiddish, (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1968)
3 Brett Blair, "Is It Well With Your Family?" ChristianGlobe Network 2001.
4 Steve May, "A Mother’s Faith," sermonnotes.com, May 18, 2001, from which I
borrowed some of this material.
5 Alan Loy McGinnis, Bringing Out the Best in People, Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1985, p. 35.
