Identity Theft
March 12, 2006
Robbed By Relationships
Intro: I need a volunteer. Did you ever take the ACT/SAT? This will be kind of like that. Have you ever seen one of these? I want you to take a few seconds to put these shapes into the canister. According to our Vandy alumni this is the entrance exam into UT. Why didn’t you try to put the square in the round hole or the star into the square hole? Do you think if you tried hard enough it would have fit? Why not?
Note: As you’re aware, this is a simple preschool toy to help kids learn their shapes and colors while working on their fine motor skills. Yet no matter how forceful one of those ankle-biters is, they can’t fit a square peg into a round hole. Neither can you!
Note: In the Bible, Solomon – the richest guy who ever lived struggled w/ this concept. In fact, the Bible says he tried, “Everything under the sun” to fill the hole in his heart. In his journal, the Book of Ecclesiastes, he says, “I said to myself, I said to my heart, ‘Come now. Let’s just see what might fill up that hole in my heart.’”
Note; By the end of his life after trying it all, Solomon said, “You know what I discovered? It’s all meaningless. It’s just like chasing after the wind.” Why? B/c you can’t cram a square peg into a round hole and you can’t use the things of this world to fill the God-shaped hole in your heart. Note Solomon’s conclusion from Pr.19:22
Verse: What a man, what a woman desires, what they’re really after is an unfailing love.
Note: I sense that’s true – don’t you? I think we sometimes believe that if we could just fill up this hole in our hearts w/ this thing called love, then we’d be okay. We’re crazy to fill that void in our hearts that longs to be loved.
Note: Think about it. Problem is we tend to go looking for love in all the wrong places. We have bookcases sagging w/ romance novels, theaters filled w/ patrons viewing the newest love story, and CD/MP3’s filled w/ love songs. Just how many love songs have been written through the years? Songs that pledge their devotion like, “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from you.” Every time I hear that song I think – get a restraining order! Yes, I do think Solomon was correct – what we need is an unfailing love.
Quote: Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle
Love doesn’t make the world go round; it’s what makes the ride worthwhile. F. Jones
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt w/ love from the heart. Helen Keller
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. St. Augustine
Trans: I’d like to quote the infamous philosopher Jerry McGuire. You know the movie w/ Cruise and Zellweger (By the way, it is my understanding that if you’re going to watch this movie, then you should wait for it to come on TBS). In the movie there are (3) famous lines – do you remember them? “Show me the money.” “You had me at hello.” The third is when he looks at his wife and he says, “You complete me.”
Trans: Meg and I have been married for 11years. We never had a song, movie, or book – we just had each other. While I love her and know in my heart she is God’s greatest gift to me – she doesn’t complete me. She makes me a better man, but she doesn’t complete me. And if you were to ask her the same question, she’d tell you that I don’t complete her. I know that’s hard to believe w/ me being such a hunk, but I don’t fill the God-like shape in her heart, nor am I supposed to – that’s God’s job.
Point: To expect another person or relationship to complete you and fill up the God-like hole in you is setting that relationship up to fail. It is an unfair and unrealistic.
Funny: It’s reminds me of the woman who said, “I thought I married Mr. Right. I just didn’t know his first name was Always.”
Trans: This AM we’re starting a series entitled, Identity Theft. Identity theft is the nation’s fastest growing crime. It is when a person gains access to your life and personal information and begins to live extravagantly at your expense w/out your permission. It is when someone steals who you are and lives your life at your expense.
Stat: According to the NY Times – more than 27 million people have become a victim to identity theft in the past 5 years at a cost of $9.9 billion.
Note: According to CBS News – 500,000 Americans can expect to be robbed this year w/ more than $4 billion stolen in their names – an I.D. theft occurs every 79 seconds.
Trans: I’d suggest that the boon of I.D. Theft has been going on longer than the past 5 years, but since the beginning of creation. The Bible says Satan has been trying to kill, steal, and destroy since the fall. So w/ this in mind, we’re going to investigate how we can protect ourselves from the culprits of spiritual I.D. Theft. We’re going to look at how we can be mugged by the mirror, stolen by success, pick-pocketed by the past, and this AM, how we can be robbed by relationships.
Article: Three years ago, Chevone King-Lewis, a 23-year-old, single mom from Atlanta checked her credit report and found that someone had opened 25 credit cards, taken out loan, and filed for a marriage license in her name. In tracking down the culprit, she found out that it was a former coworker who stayed in her house. The person went through her possessions and had run up $37,000 in charges including a car. She commented, “It’s scary knowing that someone else has been living my life.”
Trans: It’s scary to think that somebody else is living your life. But I see it all the time. I see people allowing others to live their lives for them. I watch teenagers do about anything and turn into anybody to find acceptance. I’ve seen children guilt-ridden by their parent’s unrealistic expectations striving to obtain their parent’s praise. I’ve seen marriages on the brink of disaster b/c one mate manipulated the other.
Note: Why do we allow this to happen? Why do we care so much about what other people think or say about us? Why do we end up in co-dependent relationships where we just need to be needed? It is b/c we’re looking for significance in our lives – we’re looking to find someone or something to fill the God-shaped void inside of us.
Note: So we spend our lives trying to cram the square peg of relationships w/ imperfect people into that round hole of our heart and our identity gets stolen and we end up letting someone else live our lives w/ absolute dominion over us.
Trans: This isn’t what God intended for you and me when He breathed life into our beings. He never intended for us to relinquish the control of our lives over to someone else. He gave us life and He wants for us to be just who He created us to be.
Trans: To help us w/ this form of I.D. Theft, I’d like for us to look at the story of Samson in 1 Sm.16:4-22 to discover how we can avoid being robbed by relationships.
Recap: Samson was born to a barren mother as a gift of God and was appointed by God to restore and rule over the nation of Israel. The catch was that he had to live under a Nazarite vow to never cut his hair and to always abide by the precepts of God. But as one reviews Samson life, he struggled w/ his call and his desires and was betrayed by his pride and was robbed blind by his relationship w/ Delilah.
I The ROAD to Robbery
Trans: The road to hell is paved w/ good intentions – so is the road to robbery. Samson’s careless attitude led him down the road of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve.
A The Road of SHOULD’ve
Note: The road to should of is crowded w/ the naïve. Like us, Samson didn’t think it SHOULD happen to him. After all, he was the appointed and anointed of God – impervious to identity theft – he could never get robbed by an earthly relationship.
Trans: And there are scores of people who think they too are impervious to a relationship so bad that it could steal away their existence. They think – it can happen to other people, but this should never happen to me b/c of who I am.
B The Road of WOULD’ve
Point: Like us, Samson didn’t think that it would happen to him – he was apathetic. He didn’t think Delilah could trick him out of his secret – so he toyed w/ temptation.
Note: Truth is, this concept finds many victims. Too many people flirt w/ disaster by associating themselves only w/ people who have the ability to hurt them. Apathy towards temptation always leads to destruction. Be alert - it could happen to you.
C The Road of COULD’ve
Point: Like us, Samson didn’t think that it COULD happen to him – he was arrogant. After all, he was one bad dude. Think about it. He was crazy strong and the Lord was w/ him. He killed a lion w/ his bare hands; single-handedly took down 30 Philistines on one occasion; and took out another 1,000 Philistines w/ a jawbone.
Funny: An old man had been in the woods for weeks camping. Each PM at dusk he built a campfire, boiled water for coffee, and took out his skillet to fry up some bacon for dinner. One PM, as he was sitting by the fire w/ the water boiling and bacon sizzling, he heard a tremendous racket in the brush. The sound was like a roaring freight train, and as trees fell over and branches snapped, the biggest bear he’d ever seen lumbered into the clearing. On the bear’s back was a tough-looking hombre holding a 7-ft live rattlesnake in his hands. The renegade shouted as he brought the bear to a skidding halt, bit the head off the rattlesnake, and flung it into the brush. Then he slid off the bear’s back, turned, and hit him b/w the eyes, knocking the bear unconscious. The old man was frozen speechless as this wild-eyed rebel walked over to the fire, tossed the coffee down his throat, drank the grease from the skillet, and ate the bacon in one bite. As he wiped his hands w/ poison ivy and slapped the bear to consciousness, he turned to the camper and said, “Partner, I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, but I’ve got to keep moving ‘cause a real bad dude is chasing me!”
Note: Samson was one bad dude. He thought he could handle it himself. As a result, he dropped his guard, ignored his convictions and calling, and considered himself untouchable. He arrogantly ignored God’s will and put himself in a bad situation. His mistake – He thought his calling was greater than his need for obedience.
Trans: I see this happen to people all the time as too many people think that they know better than God, so they ignore His principles and take matters into their own hands.
Insert: Like the woman who gives her heart to an unbelieving man. The Bible says that we are not to be unequally yoked w/ an unbeliever, and the woman can’t seem to understand why her husband is so ungodly – b/c he is ungodly. Or the teenager who hangs out w/ delinquents – he can’t figure out how he got into so much trouble. B/c God’s Word is true, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Insert: If you think I’m saying that it is your own fault for being robbed, then for the most part you’d be correct. Now there are some exceptions, but for the most part, we have put ourselves into the situation b/c of poor decision-making in the past.
Note: We have tendency of putting ourselves into vulnerable situations b/c we repeatedly seek some other means apart from God to fill the void inside of our hearts.
II The RUSE of the Robber
Trans: While we might get ourselves into the situation, it usually comes as a result of another’s bad influence. Here are a few tips to protect us from the identity theft.
A They ASSOCIATE w/ Shady People
Note: Delilah was in cahoots w/ the Philistines and Samson knew it. And yet he gave his heart to someone whose friends were his enemies.
Verse: Bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Cr. 15:33
Insert: I’m not saying run into the church and catty bar the door. But as you go into the world, don’t just open your life up for anyone to come in and shred you. Be Alert.
B They PREY on Your Weaknesses
Point: Sadly, Samson allowed his weaknesses to overtake the strengths that God gave him. Delilah knew Samson’s weakness and she used them against him – and so too does a resourceful thief. Every move is calculated for maximum effect.
C They NAG You into Submission
Verse: A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. Pr. 27:15
Verse: It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside w/ a nagging woman. Pr. 25:24
Note: Delilah took full advantage of her influence over Samson nagging him into submission and guiding him to surrender his secret. Likewise, relationship robbers are master naggers – they know how to get under your skin to get what they want.
D They LULL You into a False Sense of Security
Note: Like Delilah, they’ll draw you in close saying and doing all the right things to get you to put your trust in them. Then once they have you hooked, they serve you up. You’d think Samson would have seen it, but he was blinded by his pride and vanity.
III The RESULTS of the Robbery Judges 16:21-25
A It Leaves You BLIND
Note: Like Samson, when you’re robbed by a relationship it will blind you to reality. It will leave you groping in darkness and uncertain of what lies ahead.
B It Leaves You BOUND
Note: Like Samson, when you’re robbed by a relationship it will leave you tied up in knots, stressed out, and headed down a road to a place of bondage and ridicule.
C It Leaves You BELITTLED
Note: Like Samson, when you’re robbed by a relationship it destroys your sense of confidence, your sense of worth, and it clouds your sense of divine purpose. Why? b/c relationship robbers parade you about and celebrate their victory of you.
D It Leaves You BITTER
Note: Like Samson, when you’re robbed by a relationship it leaves you consumed w/ getting even, causing you to become someone you never thought you could become.
Trans: Do you think for one second Samson wanted to find himself in the situation he was in? No! And if he had it to do over again I believe he would have done (3) things.
IV The RECOURSE of the Robbed
A LOCK OUT the Thief by Setting Boundaries
Verse: Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Pr. 4:23
Note: Don’t give unwarranted people access to your life. Set Godly standards for your close relationships and never compromise them. Establish solid boundaries.
Point: Let me offer you an example. Never turn for help to someone who doesn’t have the ability to help you. B/c if they don’t have the ability to help, then they only have the ability to hurt you.
B LET GO of the Lies and Bitterness Offered by the Thief
Note: Most people who get robbed by relationships do so b/c they prefer to listen to the lies of the thief, allowing the thief’s words and attitude to manipulate and control them. It is amazing to me how quickly we will believe what someone else thinks about us who doesn’t care about us or have our best interest in mind.
Note: A lie believed as a truth will affect you as if it were true. Groschel
1 Don’t BUY the Lie
Note: Don’t accept the criticism of people who do not care for you – let it go!
2 FORGIVE but Don’t Forget
Note: Forgiveness is not forgetting. People say forgive and forget, but that’s hard to do b/c hurts always leaves a scar. Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is letting go of resentment. The reason to forgive is for your own healing. Rather than seeking to get even, you determine to trust in the justice of God. You say, “But they hurt me.” Yes, but if you hang on to unforgiveness, they’ll continue to hurt you. Let it go!
Point: The goal of forgiveness is not healing. That takes time. The goal of forgiveness is freedom and that’s a choice. It’s a choice you can make.
C LISTEN UP to What God Says and Thinks about You
Note: Rather than living under the influence of the opinions of others, choose to live under the direction and guidance of God’s Word and H.S. Trust His promises and believe in His faithfulness.
Note: In other words, instead putting your stock in what others say, choose to believe what God says. And by the way – God thinks you’re wonderful.
Book: God Thinks You’re Wonderful, Lucado
RESOURCES
Sermons: Mike Breaux – Robbed by Relationships from Identity Theft Series
Craig Groschel – Identity Theft.. www.lifechurch.tv
Don Martin – Short-sighted & Short-Circuited. www.sermoncentral.com
Books: Max Lucado – God Thinks You’re Wonderful
Websites: http://identitytheft.com http://idtheftcenter.org
http://whitecanyon.com http://fightidentitytheft.com
PREACHED
Date: 3/12/06 @ FBC White House
