Good Grief -- Part 4
On the lighter side of life: Funny pictures from aha.com
Testimony: Trevor Jorgenson
Thesis: The Body of Christ needs to learn how to administer “Good Grief” in loss, in crisis and in trauma situations of life.
Summary of the series – What have we learned?
Good Grief pt 3:
In spite of dealing with death and tragedies we need to still believe! We need to understand that death is no the end but the beginning of a “Great Story!”
Good Grief pt 2:
Grief has purpose it helps us to heal and it is used to make us interdependent on God and others.
Grief is the journey to healing and we need to have appropriate responses to it.
Grief also has certain recovery steps that we need to understand and progress through.
H.G Stafford who lost his daughters in a shipwreck tells us that even in tragedy it can be well with our soul!
Good Grief pt 1;
We learned that Grief is God’s design for helping a person to recover from loss. It is a therapeutic response and it is “Good Grief” it is not evil or bad. God himself grieved according to the Word. We all will grieve at some point in our lives and we also need to be willing to be the hands of Jesus in fallen world to help others progress through the journey of grief.
Opening video Illustration: Clip from Illustrate Volume 1 Blue Fish TV - Pam
Introduction:
We need to remember that grief is God’s therapeutic process.
Grief will always accompany loss, crisis, and trauma. The heart wrenching questions many of us will ask after experiencing these tragedies is, “How will I ever recover?” “How can I go on?” “I cannot press on because the pain is so crippling!” “Why me God?” and even “Where are you God?”
C.S. Lewis wrote in his book A Grief Observed:
Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, if you turn to Him then to him then with praise, you will be welcomed with open arms. But to go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away.
C.S. Lewis is very honest in his book Grief Observed and he captures the pain and the loneliness of that suffering in the above statement. But he does in the book help us understand that these moments will arise in the grief journey but the key is we must press through them to healing and recovery.
Scripture Texts: These Bible texts do not point to “Is God to blame for my tragedy?” but they teach us that the important question is, “How will I respond to this crisis, trauma, or loss?”
James 1:2-5:
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
1 Peter 1:6, 7:
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 4:12, 13:
12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
These verses do not answer the question about why something happens but they do answer the question about how we should respond to the crisis? The how I will respond? Really becomes the most important question that needs to be answered in the journey of grief. This answer determines how we will recover.
T.S. - So to help us respond appropriately to the grief let’s answer another common question: Where is God when it hurts?
I. He is closer than you think!
a. God is always closer than we think and we need to learn see Him daily.
i. John Ortberg stated, “The central promise in the Bible is not ‘I will forgive you.’ The most frequent promise is ‘I will be with you.’” (God Is Closer Than You Think, page 15).
ii. The promise was made to Adam and Eve, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Samuel, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Amos, Mary, Paul, Peter, John and a host of others from the beginning of time until the climax of his return the promise goes on – verbalized by God to the one’s He loves over and over again.
iii. Even Jesus name was Immanuel – “God with Us!” Reiterates this promise from the Father.
iv. So where is God? He is right here with us! Even at this very moment God’s presence is in this church service. He is here with us – at times he may be quiet but He is still there! The truth is God is with us everyday and every night and most of the time we ignore Him and never speak to Him nor acknowledge Him. But He is still there.
1. It becomes important to understand that we need to start recognizing that Jesus is with us and incorporate Him into our everyday lives. Why? Because when tragedy strikes you seem Him quicker and recognize His presence faster.
b. Sometimes pain is the element that turns us towards His face. The truth is many of us have a tendency to forget to face God each day when things are going good. We seem to forget about him in the busy ordinary day of life. Yet God is still there whether you acknowledge Him or not.
i. 2 Cor. 7:8-11: 8Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—9yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
1. Paul noted that the suffering of preaching the truth and his correction of the Corinthian church did cause a good thing to happen. It turned them back to God and it lead to repentance.
2. The focus here is on a person’s response to sorrow and suffering not who is to blame.
T.S. – God is closer than many of us think in those crisis and loss times and He desires us to reach out to Him so that He can helps us through the journey of grief. He will also use this time to develop our Christ like character.
II. He is right there to help your character be developed in times of loss!
a. In these horrible time God is there to help us learn certain lessons that will develop our character if we respond appropriately.
i. Romans 5:3-5: 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
ii. Roman’s tells us that our perseverance with God through a trial will produce Christ like character and a hope that will not fade. He also notes that through the struggle God will pour out His love to us by the great counselor the Holy Spirit.
b. If we respond appropriately to struggle and or trouble in our lives then James tells us we will mature:
i. James 1:2-4: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
ii. Our faith will be tested by struggles, crisis, trauma, and the death of loved ones. But the key is to press on with God in spite of the loss and still believe.
1. As we learn to press through hard times with God then we will mature in the faith and eventually not lack anything.
c. Suffering can help us to be molded more in the image of Jesus and we need to be reminded of this as we go through crisis and trauma.
i. Romans 8:28, 29: 28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
T.S. God is with us in the midst of loss and suffering and He does teach us valuable lessons in those tough times but He will also comfort those who call on His name in the midst of their deep sorrow`.
III. He is right there to comfort you in your trouble!
a. In the middle of all the grief, the why’s and even some spiritual insights we must remember that He will comfort us in our suffering.
i. Psalm 116:1-7: (The Psalm of Grief)
1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“O LORD, save me!”
5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The LORD protects the simple hearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.
7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.
ii. Let me share a story about the ability of God to comfort individuals in even a horrible place during World War 2. This story comes from Philip Yancey’s book “Where is God When it hurts?” pages 94-97.
1. Dachau Chaplain: Christian Reger’s Story.
2. The story reveals that even in the horror of a Nazi concentration camp God’s comfort and presence came to a man in need of hope and comfort. He will tell the horror stories but he also tells us that he was visited by a God who loves. He stated to Philip Yancey, “I learned to know the Who of my life. He was enough to sustain me then, and is enough to sustain me still” (95).
3. The Bitter Road to Dachau by Robert L. Wise reviewed by Cheryl Russell:
a. Pastor Christian Reger’s descent into hell begins in 1940. As a leader in the Confessing Church during World War II, he is arrested by the Nazis and eventually sent to the Dachau concentration camp. Here, as prisoner number 26661, he will spend the next five years fighting to survive. In this place where brutality thrives, Christian’s physical survival is not the only thing at stake. His faith is also in danger of destruction, and the God he believes in seems a million miles away. Bitterness threatens to overtake Christian, as it has fellow pastor, Wilhelm Dittner. But other clergy-prisoners—men like Leonard Steinwelder, a Catholic priest, and Werner Sylten, a Protestant pastor sentenced to imprisonment because he had a Jewish great-grandmother—are trying to hold onto their faith, trying to take the higher road. And in this hell on earth, small amounts of grace shine through. A matchbox with a secret message is slipped to Reger before he is packed into a cattle car and shipped to Dachau. A simple catechism lesson from long ago surfaces, reaffirming that even though the Nazis see him as a number, to God he has a name. And a time spent praying for his enemy gives Christian a deep sense of the peace and presence of God. Eventually the Nazis permit the clergy to build a chapel. It is small, and confined to Barrack 26, the Pastors’ Barracks, but the small, humble room is what keeps the men of Barrack 26 hopeful. These once-a-month services bring new life to Christian’s faith and sustain him throughout his imprisonment.
T.S. – The truth is God’s is always there in the middle of crisis, trauma and loss to comfort us and we need to just sometimes allow our faith to lead us even when He seems quiet.
IV. He is right there even when it seems He is not there.
a. The key to remember in this loud silence is to allow your faith to take over. Let it grow! Trust Him!
i. Philip Yancey says that today, “We make faith not an attitude of trust in something unseen but a route to get something seen-something magical and stupendous, like a miracle or a supernatural gift. Faith includes the supernatural, but it also includes daily, dependent trust is spite of results. True faith implies a belief without solid proof – the evidence of things not seen, the substance of things hoped for. God is not mere magic” (73).
ii. Faith is so misused today in our Christian circles and its time we go back to the Biblical roots of it. Let’s reread Hebrews again and remind ourselves that faith is about believing in spite of what is going on in our fallen world and its impact on our personal life.
1. Hebrews 11:1: 1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
2. Even when God seems distant He does love us and He desires what’s best for us because His Word tells us so and our faith drives home the truth of this promise even in crisis.
b. Jesus himself experienced this when He cried “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?”
i. Mark 15:33: 33At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. 34And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?“—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
1. Jesus’ lonely cry of, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!” is a desperate cry of loneliness. I believe this was the worst and the most horrible part of the crucifixion for Jesus.
2. I believe it was worst than the beatings, the betrayal of Judas, the desertion of the disciples, the humiliation of the crucifixion, being spit upon, the crown of thorns, the nails in His hands, the mocking, the emotional torment, and even the mental torment. None of these compared to what He is facing at this moment on the cross. This was the worst moment of the crucifixion. Jesus is all alone at this moment in His life. Not even the Father is with Him.
3. Can you hear His lonely cry?
a. Hebrews 5:8 “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him 10and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.”
c. C.S. Lewis called the physical- emotional pain of life “God’s megaphone” and it reveals to us how much we need Him.
i. Philip Yancey stated it this way, “What can God use to speak loudly enough so we’ll pay attention? What will convince us that this earth is not running the way God’s creation is supposed to run? C.S. Lewis introduced the phrase “pain, the megaphone of God.” It’s an apropos phrase, because pain does shout. When I stub my toe or twist an ankle, pain shows to my brain that something is wrong. Similarly, the existence of suffering on this earth is, I believe, a scream to all of us that something is wrong. It halts us and makes us consider other values. We could (some people do) believe that the purpose of life here is to be comfortable. Enjoy yourself, build a nice home, engorge good food, have sex, live the good life. That’s all there is. But the presence of suffering complicates that philosophy. It’s harder to believe that the world is here just so I can party when a third of its people go to bed starving each night. It’s much harder to believe the purpose of life is to feel good when I see teen-agers smashed on the freeway. If I try to escape the idea and merely enjoy life, suffering is there, haunting me, reminding me of how hollow life would be if this world were all I’ll ever know” (Where Is God When It Hurts? Pages 55, 56).
T.S. – We need to remember that is God is with us even when He seems so quiet, our response is to trust Him in spite of silence and understand that there is always something to learn as we go through tough times in life.
V. He is right there to teach us something and to make something good comes from this ordeal!
a. Why do events like this happen? As I ask this question the answers form in the form of even more questions:
i. Because we live in a fallen society?
ii. Because we suffer the consequences of natural laws implemented by God?
iii. Because God allows them to happen?
iv. Because God is trying to teach us a spiritual lesson?
v. Because I did something wrong?
vi. Because someone else did something wrong?
b. I really think the question in grief is not “Where are you God?” but “How am I going to respond through the grief process?”
i. Will I draw closer to God?
ii. Will I run away from God?
iii. Will I seek His comfort?
iv. Will I push His loving arms away from me?
v. Will I blame God?
vi. Will I love God more?
1. These are the eternal questions we must ask ourselves even in the midst of grief and in the agonizing pain of loss.
2. How will I respond in the midst of a crisis, trauma, loss or even the truth that I am going to die?
Conclusion:
The Bible always places a spot light not on the “Why” of suffering but on the “End Result” of going through suffering. The Bible tells stories of people who grew closer to God through hardship and even some who became bitter toward God and then rejected His ways. There are those who loved Him more and others who came to hate Him. So how will your story be told in the end?
How will you recover from crisis, loss and trauma? God will help you recover!
How will you go on through the journey of grief? God will strengthen you!
Will you ask “Why me God?” Or will you hear His reply my son and daughter it will happen to everyone and it’s just your allotted time in life! There is a time for all things in life. But understand I love you! I am here for you! I will never leave you nor forsake you! Just trust me through the journey and I will reward your faithfulness.
Reference: Footprints poem, by Margaret Fishback Powers -1964 - Thoughts from the author on her poem!
She shares these thoughts with us about her poem: "If the pleasure of sharing these thoughts anew has taught us anything, it is this: that God’s Word is true. Our Heavenly Father is faithful and He will never leave us or forsake us. As we come to Him daily, willing to be shaped and directed, His Word gives guideposts of clear direction. Almost everything we read, see, and experience shows us in some way that, although we do not visibly see God, He is with us. Over centuries of time others have looked back to understand that God’s Spirit and presence were there, even when they felt alone…In our quiet moments of reflection, in the fellowship of others, and even in dreams, God opens the doors to our hearts. This is what happened when I originally wrote this poem, "Footprints". After hours of wrestling with the darkness of doubt and despair, I finally surrendered (my life) to Him and, in the early morning light of peace (the next day), I wrote the poem as a result of that spiritual experience… So listen for the gentle stirring of God’s grace in your own mind and soul as you read these verses of encouragement. Each of us is different in our spiritual need, just as each of our days is different. God wants to place His signature on your life in a unique way. As you spend time, even just a few moments each day, reflecting on His Word, it will help you to know Him better. Spiritual growth is not so much what we have done, but the feeling of love for Him we put into everything we do. It is not so much in knowing about God that we grow, but in getting to know Him in a personal, and a relational way. It is in becoming "a friend of God" as Abraham did that we grow in His grace, talking with Him as our companion along the way…”
FOOTPRINTS
By Margaret Fishback Powers -1964
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene,
I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and
One to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
And saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
And I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I’m aware that during the most troublesome
Times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don’t understand why, when I need You most,
You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you,
never, ever, during your trials and tests.
When you say you only saw one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
Scripture Verses:
Nahum 1:7: "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of
trouble; and he knows them that trust in him."
Isaiah 40:29-31:
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint.”
Illustration: “God is enough!” Joni - (video from the AACC).
Where are you God? His response: “I am closer than you think! Look up at me – I am here!”
