Biblical Marriage Under Attack
On the lighter side of life:
From the book: Wacky Laws, Weird Decisions and Strange Statues, Main Street publishers.
Marriage and Family laws:
a. It’s against the law for children under the age of seven to go to college in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
b. Although there are no R and X ratings for Ma Bell, in Blue earth, Minnesota, it’s against the law for children under 12 to talk on the telephone unless accompanied by a parent.
c. Kids in Kalispell, Montana, must have a note from the doctor in order to buy a lollipop or candy bar while church services are in session.
d. At the Paiute Indian Reservation in California, a mother-in-law is prohibited from spending more than 30 days a year visiting her kids (pages 9, 10).
e. Kissing on the lips in Riverside, California, is in violation of a local health ordinance, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water.
g. A kiss in Halethorpe, Maryland, cannot last longer than a second.
h. Kissing a stranger in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is illegal.
i. Any man who constantly kisses “human beings” is forbidden to have a moustache if he lives in Indiana (pages 31, 32).
j. If a lady in Dixie, Idaho, berates her husband in public and a crowd gathers, the husband is subject to a fine.
k. It is illegal to remarry the same man four times in Kentucky.
l. A man in Tennessee is forbidden to divorce his wife unless he leaves her ten pounds of dried beans, five pounds of dried apples, a side of meat and ample yarn to knit herself stockings for a year.
m. A husband cannot kick his wife out of bed in Lebanon, Tennessee, even if her feet are cold; however, a wife can kick her husband out of bed without provocation.
n. You will be in violation of the law in Chillicothe, Missouri, if you throw rice at the bride and groom.
o. Dunlap, West Virginia, has rendered it illegal to tear up a marriage certificate (pages 33, 34).
Divorce Court:
a. Marshfield, Wisconsin: When the couple married, he promised to pay her $1 for each kiss as long as they remained married. She sued him for divorce and asked the court for an award of $3,000 in back payments.
b. Pendleton, Oregon: She sued him for divorce because he never gave her Christmas presents. He claimed to be confident that Santa would bring them.
c. Canon City, Colorado: She sued him on the grounds that he forced her to hide under the dashboard of his automobile whenever he passed a girlfriend.
d. Price, Utah: he petitioned the court for a divorce because she insisted on hanging the pictures of her four ex-husbands over the bed.
e. Crawford, Indiana a woman sued for divorce because she claimed her husband had a habit of bringing friends into their bathroom while she was in the tub (pages 61-63).
Video Illustration from Illustrate Vol. 2 – Marriage Man
Thesis: Marriage is under attack today from secular society and we as Christians must expose the fruitless deeds of darkness and fight for the preservation of the Biblical marriage and family unit.
Scripture Text: Ephesians 5
1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.
8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Introduction:
Ephesians 5 gives us a glimpse as to why the Enemy is seeking to destroy marriages in society today. Why, because it parallels the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church and Satan hates it. But Paul gives us wise counsel in this chapter on how to defeat the attack of the enemy in our marriages an in our families.
Marriage is designed by God to create families who serve Him. Therefore we start to understand why there is such an attack on the traditional Christian family model in our society today. The world does not like it that we as Christians do not agree with their redefinition of family. Whether it’s cohabitation – living together – whether its gay relations – whether it’s polygamy relations. The world is assaulting the very fabric of our society and they are attacking ferociously the traditional marriage unit designed by the Lord in the Bible.
Marriage Under Fire - Why We Must Win This Battle -- By Dr. James Dobson. He states:
Behold, the institution of marriage! It is one of the Creator’s most marvelous and enduring gifts to humankind. This divine plan was revealed to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and then described succinctly in Genesis 2:24, where we read, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (KJV). With those twenty-two words, God announced the ordination of the family, long before He established the two other great human institutions, the church and the government. Five thousand years of recorded history have come and gone, yet every civilization in the history of the world has been built upon it.1 Despite today’s skeptics, who claim that marriage is an outmoded and narrow-minded Christian concoction, the desire of men and women to “leave” and “cleave” has survived and thrived through times of prosperity, peace, famine, wars, epidemics, and every other possible circumstance and condition. It has been the bedrock of culture in Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, South America, Australia, and even Antarctica. Given this unbroken continuity, one might begin to suspect that something mystical within human nature must be drawing the sexes together—not just for purposes of reproduction as with animals, but to satisfy an irrepressible longing for companionship, intimacy, and spiritual bonding. Indeed, how can it be doubted? Passion finds its fulfillment in the institution of marriage.
The key point we need to learn today is that we must be committed to building families that are strong and flexible and able to stand firm in the storms and the attacks that Satan is bringing against the marriage unit today. Building strong family units takes work and sweat but it’s possible. God promises us to give us the desires of our heart if we place him first in our lives. The family is His design and its His plan for every single person on the face of the earth.
I want you to say the word “Family” with me. What rushes through your mind? Often we think of example’s of families and shows that portray them, the Waltons, Huxtebals, Leave it to Beaver, Partridge Family,7th Heaven, the Brady Bunch, Growing Pains, Andy Griffith show and the thoughts go on. So what is a family?
Well according to the Bible the Family was designed by God. It was designed to be a place of safety from the world. A place were the art of nurturing takes place. A entity were children are born and raised. Were love takes place on a daily basis. Were encouragement is dished out in large doses. Were discipline is found and respect is taught. It’s a place that changes and adapts with time from taking care of the infant to the toddler to the pre-teen to the teenager and eventually to sending them off as adults in to the world to build their own family units.
The biblical view of marriage & family must be fought for and protected by us (Christians) today. Why because the worldly (secular) system we live in will not protect it or value the Christian view of family and marriage. Why, because they have a mindset that does not align with the Word of God. The truth is they have no clue to what is right and to what is wrong. Their mission is to convince this society that living together with no covenant relationship with God is fine. That having sex outside of marriage is normal and okay. That gay marriages and relationships are from God because He made them that way. That having more than one spouse is okay and right as long as they all consent. That having adulterous affair’s is healthy for a marriage. That the old way of defining marriage and family is antiquated and out of date.
T.S. – Lets explore Ephesians 5 and discover how to combat the ways of evil and how to please and honor God with our marriages and our families.
I. To protect our marriages and families today requires that we imitate God.
a. Ephesians 5:1-7 reminded us to do the following with our lives, our marriages and our families:
i. 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.
1. Notice we need to imitate God -- Not what we see on TV and in movies!
a. We need to follow God’s directives not the secular societies’ directives!
b. We need to live a life of love and that love is to be lived in marriage and in family units. Why because it is rooted in the sacrifice of Christ. He demonstrated for us what love looks like and how love acts with others.
2. Paul tells us that there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, or impurity, or greed because these are not attributes of holy people.
a. God does not possess these attributes because he is holy and we as his children need to make sure that we do not embrace them as well.
b. In other words Paul is saying not a trace, not one part of our lives should have these influences in them.
i. No immoral sexual thoughts in our lives and in our minds. We have to make sure that we do not allow these images and beliefs to enter in.
ii. So now comes the question: Do you allow these types of immoral thoughts to enter into your family living room, your bedroom, your computer, your TV?
c. Be warned by Paul not to allow ourselves to be deceived by the empty words of this fallen society.
d. We are told not to partner with the world’s way of living or to buy into the world’s view of marriage and family.
i. Partner is defined: A person who takes part in some activity with another or others.
b. We are to make sure that we imitate God and do as He does because we are his children. If we pursue the path of holiness then we will drive back the power of darkness in our marriages and in our families.
T.S. – We are to imitate God and be holy because we are children of the light not of the darkness. So what does a child of light do and act like?
II. Live as children of the light not as children of the darkness so that our families honor God.
a. Ephesians 5: 8-21: 8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” 15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
i. We need to have the fruit of light being produced in our family units and in our marriages. What are these fruits?
1. Paul says they are goodness, righteousness and truth.
a. Goodness - Doing the good being like God.
b. Righteousness – right standing with God.
c. Truth – the Word of God.
ii. We are to have nothing to do with the poisonous fruit of darkness instead we need to rather expose it for what it is!
1. I find it amazing how if someone was going to eat poison most people would try to stop them. But when it comes to spiritual and moral poison we here many say, “I don’t want to get involved.” “I don’t believe it is right for me to tell them they are wrong for poisoning themselves.”
a. The Word says we are expose darkness for what it is!
2. Dobson’s Focus on the Family program does this and listen to what he says in his book about the 11 arguments against allowing Homosexual relationships to become legal.
a. The legalization of homosexual marriage will quickly destroy the traditional family.
i. We’ve already seen evidence from the Scandinavian countries that de-facto homosexual marriage destroys the real Mc Coy. These two entities cannot coexist because they represent opposite ends of the universe.
ii. Second, the introduction of legalized gay marriages will lead inexorably to polygamy and other alternatives to one man/one woman unions.
• In Utah polygamist Tom Green, who claims five wives, is citing Lawrence v. Texas as the legal authority for his appeal.37 In January 2004, a Salt Lake City civil rights attorney filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of another couple wanting to engage in legal polygamy.38 Their justification? Lawrence v. Texas. The ACLU of Utah has actually suggested that the state will “have to step up to prove that a polygamous relationship is detrimental to society”—as opposed to the polygamists having to prove that plural marriage is not harmful to the culture.
• The ACLU went on to say that the nuclear family “may not be necessarily the best model.”40
• Why will gay marriage set the table for polygamy? Because there is no place to stop once that Rubicon has been crossed. Historically, the definition of marriage has rested on a foundation of tradition, legal precedent, theology and the overwhelming support of the people. …How about group marriage, or marriage between cousins, or marriage between daddies and little girls? How about marriage between a man and his donkey? Anything allegedly linked to “civil rights” will be doable. The legal underpinnings for marriage will have been destroyed.
iii. The third reason marriage between homosexuals will destroy traditional marriage is that this is the ultimate goal of activists, and they will not stop until they achieve it.
• The history of the gay and lesbian movement has been that its adherents quickly move the goal line as soon as the previous one has been breached, revealing even more shocking and outrageous objectives. In the present instance, homosexual activists, heady with power and exhilaration, feel the political climate is right to tell us what they have wanted all along. This is the real deal: Most gays and lesbians do not want to marry each other. That would entangle them in all sorts of legal constraints. Who needs a lifetime commitment to one person? The intention here is to create an entirely different legal structure.
iv. Activists have created a new word to replace the outmoded terms infidelity, adultery, cheating, and promiscuity. The new concept is polyamorous. It means the same thing (literally “many loves”) but with the agreement of the primary sexual partner. Why not? He or she is probably polyamorous, too.
b. Children will suffer most.
i. The implications for children in a world of decaying families are profound. Because homosexuals are rarely monogamous, often having as many as three hundred47 or more partners in a lifetime—some studies say it is typically more than one thousand48—children in those polyamorous situations are caught in a perpetual coming and going. It is devastating to kids, who by their nature are enormously conservative creatures.
ii. More than ten thousand studies have concluded that kids do best when they are raised by loving and committed mothers and fathers.49 They are less likely to be on illegal drugs, less likely to be retained in a grade, less likely to drop out of school, less likely to commit suicide, less likely to be in poverty, less likely to become juvenile delinquents, and for the girls, less likely to become teen mothers. They are healthier both emotionally and physically, even thirty years later, than those not so blessed by traditional parents.50
c. Public schools in every state will embrace homosexuality.
i. With the legalization of homosexual marriage, every public school in the nation will be required to teach this perversion as the moral equivalent of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. Textbooks, even in conservative regions, will have to depict man/man and woman/woman relationships, and stories written for children as young as elementary school, or even kindergarten, will have to give equal space and emphasis to homosexuals. How can a child, fresh out of toddlerhood, comprehend the meaning of adult sexuality? The answer is, they can’t, but it is happening in the state of California already.51
d. Adoption laws will be instantly obsolete.
i. From the moment that homosexual marriage becomes legal, courts will not be able to favor a traditional couple of one man and one woman in matters of adoption. Children will be placed in homes with parents representing only one sex on an equal basis with those having a mom and a dad. Even the polyamorous couples won’t be excluded. The prospect of fatherless and motherless children will not be considered in the evaluation of eligibility. It will be the law.
e. Foster-care programs will be impacted dramatically.
i. Foster-care parents will be required to undergo “sensitivity training” to rid themselves of bias in favor of heterosexuality, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens. Moral training, at least as it applies to sexuality, will be forbidden. Again, this is the current law in California.52
f. The health care system will stagger and perhaps collapse.
i. This could be the straw that breaks the back of the insurance industry in Western nations, as millions of new dependents become eligible for coverage. Every HIV-positive patient needs only to find a partner to receive the same coverage as offered to an employee. It is estimated by some analysts that an initial threefold increase in premiums can be anticipated; even with that, it may not be profitable for companies to stay in business.
g. Social Security will be severely stressed.
i. Again, with millions of new eligible dependents, what will happen to the Social Security system that is already facing bankruptcy? If it does collapse, what will that mean for elderly people who must rely totally on that meager support? Who is thinking through these draconian possibilities as we careen toward “a brave new world”?
h. Religious freedom will almost certainly be jeopardized.
i. In order to get a perspective on where the homosexual activist movement is taking us, one can simply look at our neighbors to the north. Canada is leading the way on this revolutionary path. I could cite dozens of examples indicating that religious freedom in that country is dying. Indeed, on April 28, 2004, the Parliament passed bill C 250, which effectively criminalized speech or writings that criticize homosexuality.53 Anything deemed to be “homophobic” can be punished by six months in prison or by other severe penalties.54 Pastors and priests in Canada are wondering if they can preach from Leviticus or Romans 1 or other passages from the writings of the apostle Paul. Will a new Bible be mandated that is bereft of “hate speech”? Consider this: A man who owned a printing press in Canada was fined $3,400 for refusing to print stationary for a homosexual activist organization.55 Censorship is already in full swing. One of our Focus on the Family radio programs on the subject of homosexuality was judged by the Canadian Radio and Television Commission to be “homophobic.” The radio station that carried the broadcast was censured for airing it, and I have not been able to address the issue since.
i. Other nations are watching our march toward homosexual marriage and will follow our lead.
j. The gospel of Jesus Christ will be severely curtailed.
i. The family has been God’s primary vehicle for evangelism since the beginning. Its most important assignment has been the propagation of the human race and the handing down of the faith to our children. Malachi 2:15 reads, referring to husbands and wives, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” That responsibility to teach the next generation will never recover from the loss of committed, God-fearing families. The younger generation and those yet to come will be deprived of the Good News, as has already occurred in France, Germany, and other European countries.
k. The culture war will be over, and the world may soon become “as it was in the days of Noah” (Matthew 24:37).
i. This is the climactic moment in the battle to preserve the family, and future generations hang in the balance. This apocalyptic and pessimistic view of the institution of the family and its future will sound alarmist to many, but I think it will prove accurate unless—unless—God’s people awaken and begin an even greater vigil of prayer for our nation.
ii. This reticence on behalf of Christians is deeply troubling. Marriage is a sacrament designed by God that serves as a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and His church. Tampering with His plan for the family is immoral and wrong. To violate the Lord’s expressed will for humankind, especially in regard to behavior that He has prohibited, is to court disaster.
iii. All the above is - Excerpted from the book, Marriage Under Fire, Why We Must Win This Battle by Dr. James Dobson, Footnoted references are included in the book
iii. We need to be careful in how we live and make sure that we do not partner with the poison of darkness.
1. We must wake up from our slumber and see the truth and make a stand against it.
a. The truth is many people’s lives do depend on your willingness to expose the darkness.
2. We must understand the Lord’s will and live wise not unwise in our lives.
T.S. – Not only do we need to live as children of the light to protect our marriages and families but we must also choose to submit to one another in the family so as to honor God and protect it.
III. We also have to commit to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ and so that we honor God through our family unit.
a. Ephesians 5:21-27 (NIV) 21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
i. What does submission mean? It means the art of surrendering so as to yield to others decision and actions.
1. Wives need to submit to their husbands as they would to the lord.
2. We in the family need to submit to one another because this brings great highs and great joy to the family.
3. Yes, the husband is to be the head of the family leading the way but he needs to be Christ like while doing it. He needs to be a servant leader like Jesus.
4. His motto’s “No Pride!”, “I choose to lose!”, “I will not quit!”
5. He said, “Not my will Lord but your will be done!”
6. In the spiritual realm wives need to submit to there husbands leading as he follows Christ.
7. Part of this submitting comes back to that word Love- Agape love- means one that surrenders itself for another person. One that loves without conditions. It loves selflessly and therefore perfectly.
b. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
i. Husbands need to love their wife and family like Christ loves the church. You need to open up your arms on the cross and die to yourself and live for the Lord and serve your family with the help of God.
c. Ephesians 5:26 (NIV) 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
i. If you do this your family will be clean and holy as the Word will wash it white as snow.
1. The Word will sweep through your family in a great and holy way as love is the dominating trait that you unleash into your family.
d. Ephesians 5:27 (NIV) 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
i. We need to present our families to God without a hint of evil in them. No stains no wrinkles no compromise. As we seek to ruthlessly keep evil out of our families God will bless them.
1. No porn
2. No deception
3. No immorality
4. No drugs and alcoholism
5. No Ego – edging God Out!
6. No selfishness
e. Ephesians 5:28 (NIV) 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.
i. We need to feed them and care for them just like we take care of ourselves. Both physically and spiritually.
f. Ephesians 5:30 (NIV) 30for we are members of his body.
i. Why because we are members of the Body of Christ!
g. Ephesians 5:31 (NIV) 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
i. The goal of the husband and wife are to become one because that’s what makes up an imitator of God when the husband and wife both made in God’s image unite and then the balance of the two points to what God would do.
ii. We become one with Christ as we unite together and it’s symbolic of the relationship Christ has with his bride the church. Of the world’s three great institutions - the home, the church, and the state - the home is the oldest and most sacred. The home consists of the family unit, which is the cohesiveness that holds society together. The family is bonded together by the union of two individuals who unite in love and make a covenant relationship with each other and with God.
Conclusion:
1. We see emerging today a more hostile environment toward traditional biblical marriage and family values. But we must as God’s holy people stand up and defend the biblical marriage and expose the poisonous fruit of non-biblical relationships and family units. If we fail to do this then our children and grandchildren will reap the consequences or our apathy.
2. We must have strong moral values that align with God’s word and we must know and understand what God’s will is for our marriages and our family units. Remember God wants godly marriages and families so as to produce more fully devoted followers of Jesus. We must be the children of the light and not children of the darkness.
3. We must be willing to submit to one another out of reverence for Jesus Christ and create a marriage and a family unit that honors God and His ways.
Quote: Dr Dobson “Marriage is a sacrament designed by God that serves as a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and His church. Tampering with His plan for the family is immoral and wrong. To violate the Lord’s expressed will for humankind, especially in regard to behavior that He has prohibited, is to court disaster” ( Marriage Under Fire).
