Understanding Women, Understanding Men (Part 1)
Ephesians 5:22-33
Sermon by Rick Crandall
Preached at McClendon Baptist Church
West Monroe, LA
Nov. 6, 2005
*Men & women are different!
-Take shoes for example.
*I did a little survey this week, asking men & women how many pairs of shoes they have.
-Men: 3 to 5.
-Women: 20 to 25.
*Men & women are different!
-So can we understand each other?
-Oh yes we can!
*But if we really want to understand men & women, then we have to take a look at the Book & follow God’s plan.
1. When we do, the first thing we see is that God calls wives to submissive love.
-(God shows us this in vs. 22-24)
*Over the course of history, this is probably one of the most abused verses of Scripture.
-Misused to take advantage of women
-Misused to browbeat & belittle them
-Misused by men who try to hide behind this verse in order to justify their bad behavior
*Verse 22 is one of the most abused verses of Scripture, but today it is also one of the most unused verses of Scripture.
-Many women have never stopped to consider why God tells wives to do this.
*Well, it’s not because men are better than women.
-In fact, we men need to take a big step up to be all that God intended us to be, but God does call wives to submissive love.
*One of the main reasons why is because God created men with a built in need to be respected. -Men respond to respect.
*All things being equal, it motivates us, it charges us up, it challenges us & helps us to be the men we were created to be.
--It helps us be the husband you want us to be.
*Ladies, think about the times your husband gets upset.
-Maybe he’s right, or even if he’s wrong, think about it.
-Go below the surface & see if he is upset because he feels that his honor is threatened.
-That’s the problem a lot of times.
*So wives, honor your husbands, even though it can be a difficult job.
-When Anita Donihue taught in Auburn, WA, there was another teacher at the school named Foster.
-One day Mrs. Foster was having a real frustrating time with one of her first-grade boys.
*And she told the boy: “You’ve been doing irritating things all day today.
-These things are some of my pet peeves.
--Do you know what a pet peeve is?”
*That first-grader shook his head no, and Mrs. Foster said,
-“A pet peeve is the thing that irritates a person the most.
-Do you know what my pet peeve is?”
*The little boy thought about it & said:
-“Ummm... Mr. Foster?” (1)
2. Ladies, A lot of times we are your pet peeve, but God calls wives to submissive love, and He calls men to the Savior’s love.
-(We see this in vs. 25-29)
*When we read these verses men, there can be no doubt:
-God gives the greatest responsibility to us.
*We are to love our wives the way Jesus Christ loves us. -Wow!
*That means we are to have a love that’s sacrificial.
-Jesus Christ gave His life on the Cross for us.
-He made the ultimate sacrifice for us.
--And that is the kind of love He wants you to have for your wife.
*Love her with a sacrificial, giving love.
-And there is a whole lot more to say about this next time, but tonight I want you to understand a little about why.
*Just like God created men with a built-in need for respect, He created women with a built-in need to be loved.
-And women generally respond to this love.
--It motivates her to be the wife you want her to be.
*Now, of course, these are not 100% one-way streets.
-Women also need respect and men also need love.
*But men & women are different.
-Men have a deep need for respect.
-Women have a deep need for love.
*In vs. 26& 27, we see the Lord doing great things for the church.
-He is taking care of the church, and God wants us to take care of our wives the same way.
*Our wives want us to take care of them.
-I know this because of the conversation you have every time you go out to eat.
*You say: -“Where do you want to eat?”
*And she says something like:
-“Oh, I don’t care.”
--Or: “It doesn’t matter.”
*But it really does matter doesn’t it?
-Then why does she want you to pick?
*It’s a small, subconscious way of her telling you,
-“I want you to take care of me.
--I want you to love me.”
*That’s the way God made her.
3. And it’s part of the reason God calls men to the Savior’s love, but He also calls marriages to a sacred link.
-(And we see this in vs. 28-32.)
*They two shall be one flesh. There is a mysterious & sacred link between husband & wife.
-It’s mysterious, but God wants us to understand it.
*So why did He design this sacred link?
-Because this link can give us a happy marriage.
-“The two shall be one,” He says.
--The oneness God is talking about here goes far beyond the physical side of marriage.
*When I give wedding vows these days, I ask the couples to take each other:
-“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,
-That we may become one in spirit, one in mind, one in affection, and above all things, one in Christ.”
*There is a oneness in marriage that can touch every dimension in life.
-And that’s the way God wants it to be, for a lifetime.
*I’m not talking about staying together for the sake of the children.
-I am talking about having a relationship closer than we ever dreamed it could be.
*And that kind of Godly family is the basic building block of our society.
-Family is the glue that holds society together.
*So God designed this sacred link to give us a happy marriage, but He also shows us a sacred link between marriage & the church.
-As we read these verses, we can see a connection between human families & the Family of God.
-(Listen to vs. 29-32 again.)
*God uses human relationships to point us to Heavenly relationships.
-That is certainly true of marriage.
--Christ is the Bridegroom & the church is the bride of Christ.
*God gives us a sacred link in marriage, because He wants to lift us from human things to heavenly things.
*Most of us have used a Bunsen Burner in school.
-It was invented by Baron Robert Bunsen in 1855.
*Bunsen was a great scientist.
-But much more than that.
--He was a great man & a great husband.
*As he lay dying in his bed.
-He gently pulled his wife close to hear him.
*And with his last strength, he said:
-“In your eyes have I seen the light of the eternal.” (2)
4. That’s the way God wants us to see, so He calls marriages to a sacred link.
*And He calls everyone to spiritual life.
-(We see this in vs. 32)
*We speak concerning Christ & the church:
-The church that He loves, the church that He died for, the church that will spend all eternity with Him.
*God wants you to be part of His church.
*And even if you had the best marriage in the world.
-Even if you had everything you could possibly want.
--What a shame it would be, if you weren’t part of the Lord’s church.
--What a shame it would be, if you missed out on the most important relationship of all.
*Nobody could possibly love you more than Jesus Christ already does!
*I was thinking of my wife Mary as an example.
-The best love that I’ve ever had for her.
-The best moment of the best day is not a drop in the ocean of love that Jesus Christ has for her.
-And for you.
--And for us all.
*Don’t miss it! Don’t ignore it. Don’t forget it.
Conclu: *Give your life to Jesus Christ
-Trust Him, follow Him.
--And live every day with a growing love for Him.
*It’s the greatest step to understanding you will ever take.
1. -- Anita Donihue, Auburn, Wash. "Lite Fare," Christian Reader. Found on Bible Illustrator, Topic: Marriage / Subtopic: / Index: 1620-1621
Date: 12/1997.2210 / Title: Humor: Your Lawfully Wedded Pet Peeve
2. Original source unknown. Illustration found on sermons.com
