Intro: In a group of three or four, brainstorm and make a list on the back of your outline of the meanest things you have heard said. After a couple minutes, have them share what they came up with. Make a list on the white board.
A popular phrase that was said all the time when I was growing up was, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” I have never understood why people say this because it can’t be any further from the truth. Even as I was growing up and being made fun of by peers, I would throw this line back at them. When, at the same time that I said it, my heart felt like it was tearing apart. Inside, my peer’s words pierced deeply and at times I thought they were right.
As we look over this list of mean and hurtful things that we have heard said, many of them resonate within us as we recall when those words were spoken in our direction. Everyone in this room, whether you are popular or not or whether you have a lot of friends or a few, have been hurt by someone’s words more than once in their life. Sticks and stones can indeed break our bones, but words can break our souls.
When we find ourselves going against the norms of our culture, hurtful and discouraging words are almost always the first thing to oppose us. This ranges from everything in our lives, from responding to God’s call to go and change the world around us and living out our relationship with Christ in public, to what clothes we are wearing, to what activities we participate in after school, etcetera. There are so many things in our lives that we are made fun of, ridiculed, and discouraged for. This doesn’t just come from our peers either. It comes from our teachers, parents, grandparents, family friends, and dare I say, pastors, youth leaders, and adult role models. We all have cuts, bruises, and wounds in our souls from people’s words.
Tonight, I want to take a look at Nehemiah again and a situation where he found himself facing verbal opposition and ridicule from people around him. Hopefully it will leave us with some wisdom for handling similar situations and give us some hope for our own lives. Let’s open our Bibles to Nehemiah 4:1-6.
***Read Nehemiah 4:1-6***
As Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem begin to rebuild the walls around their city they are immediately meet with opposition from a guy named Sanballat, who was governor of Samaria, which was just north of Jerusalem. Verse one says that he became “very angry” at the fact that the walls were beginning to be rebuilt. This is because he no doubt wanted Jerusalem under his own jurisdiction. If the walls were successfully rebuilt, the city would become a threat to him and the land of Samaria. So what was his response? “He flew into a rage and mocked the Jews” with a series of comments that would have discouraged and pierced the souls of Nehemiah and the people.
“What does this bunch of poor, feeble Jews think they are doing?” This is very blunt and to the point. The Jews were a poor group having been in and out of slavery in years earlier. They were feeble, which means weak, frail, or delicate. “You are weak and poor! There is no way that you people will be able to rebuild these walls?!”
“Do they think they can build the wall in a day if they offer enough sacrifices?” With a sense of sarcasm and ridicule, Sanballat reminds the people that there is a lot of work ahead of them. “You weak and poor people are going rebuild this 2 mile wall?! The walls were built earlier by larger numbers and more powerful people! There is no way you will pull this off!”
“And, oh yea, have you thought through how long it is going to take you to build these walls? This is too big a task, for too weak and small a people! This wall will not be rebuilt by you people!”
Then, adding an insult to their faith in God, he basically says, “Why don’t you just pray it up. Offer, your sacrifices, there isn’t any other way you are going to get this wall built!”
“Look at those charred stones they are pulling out of the rubbish and using again!” If you can remember way back, when we first stated looking at Nehemiah, the whole thing that got Nehemiah motivated was a report from his brother about Jerusalem. “The wall of Jerusalem has been torn down, and the gates have been destroyed by fire.” Sanballat is reminding the people of this fact. “You are working with rubble! You don’t have the materials or the knowledge to rebuild this wall after it has been so destroyed! What fools! This wall will not be rebuilt!”
Then, if that constant ridicule and discouragement isn’t enough, one of Sanballat’s friends named Tobiah chimes in. “That stone wall would collapse if even a fox walked along the top of it!” “You know what, even if they get something resembling a wall up, it’s going to be awful and it won’t hold! Even if something a light as a fox jumped on it, it would collapse again!”
In just three verses, Nehemiah and the Israelites had all their weaknesses and everything that was up against them thrown in their faces! If I were in their shoes I think I would be ready to quit and walk away. It would have been so easy for the people to respond saying, “You know what…they’re right! Forget it!” But that is not the way Nehemiah and the Israelites responded. Instead, they did their best to ignore it, prayed and asked God for help, and kept working hard. All of these things have their place in our lives when we face similar situations.
The first thing worth noticing that the Israelites did was actually what they didn’t do. And that was the fact that they didn’t retaliate. They could have made fun of Sanballat in some way or insulted his mother or whatever, but they didn’t. In a way, they followed the age old rule that two wrongs don’t make a right. Further than that though, they knew that if they did respond with ridicule of their own, they would only heighten the situation and distract themselves from the task at hand. Often times when we are being made fun of and discouraged by other people, we can get defensive and snap back, but all that does it make a situation worse.
The second thing the Israelites did, which in my opinion was most important, was that they went to God together and poured out their feelings to Him, asking for help. So often, when we can accomplish the act of ignoring the words of people around us, we just internalize them and live on like nothing happened. This does nothing but try to patch a wounded soul with a band aide. Instead, the people came together and talked to one another and to God! This is where they got their encouragement and motivation to continue working from.
This is so important in our own lives. As we will sing in a few minutes, there is no one like our God! There are so many passages that talk about how much God loves us and how much we are worth to Him. In Philippians, Paul reminds us that we can accomplish anything that comes across our path with God’s help. The bottom line is that no matter what or who we are up against, God is bigger, more powerful, and promises to be with us, helping every step of the way! When we can remember this and surround ourselves with people who will remind us of this, we surely will be able to accomplish anything that comes across our paths.
The third and final thing that the Israelites did is pretty self explanatory. That is, they persisted and kept working on rebuilding the walls. Whatever we are facing in our lives we must never give in to the culture around us and throw in the towel. If you are trying to live out your relationship with Christ keep working at it. If you are trying to just be you, whether it’s by wearing certain clothes, doing your hair a certain way, or pursuing a certain dream or goal, keep at it! Don’t let anyone dictate who you should be except for God and the Bible.
Being discouraged, ridiculed or made fun of by someone is no fun at all and it hurts and leaves scars on our hearts. As we go about our days and weeks, trying to be the Christian Jesus has called as to be, trying to be ourselves and figure out what that means, and trying to get along with others we need to take what other people say about us with a grain of salt. We can’t let ourselves be distracted and stoop to the level of others as we make a situation worse by retaliating. Instead we need to turn to God, who promises to be with us and give us purpose and encouragement. And most of all, we must never give in to the world around us and quit living for Christ and being ourselves.
