Four years ago, when the New England Patriots began the 2002 season they were a group of mostly average players that no one really expected much from. Four games into the season, their all-pro quarterback Drew Bledsoe was injured and unable to play for the majority of the season and their win-lose record stood at 1-3. 23 year old rookie, Tom Brady, was the replacement for Bledsoe, which at the time didn’t look to promising for the Patriots’ 2002 season. At that point, Vegas set the odds for the Patriots to win the Superbowl as 10,000 to 1.
The Patriots overcame the odds that season to win the Superbowl for a number of reasons. Many look back on that year and attribute their success to coaching mastermind Bill Belichick. Others look at the now, 2 time Superbowl MVP and all-pro quarterback Tom Brady as the reason for their success. Still others contribute their winning seasons to the player’s abilities to play unselfishly and to come together as a team like never before.
As those are definitely all true reasons for their success, I think there is one more significant reason that is often overlooked. That reason is Drew Bledsoe! Now, I know some of you are thinking, “Wait a minute…He was injured and just sat on the sidelines most of the season.” As that is true I would make the argument that it is only half true. Yes, Bledsoe was injured and couldn’t play most of the season but he did a lot more than just sitting on the sidelines.
As the youngster Brady began to lead the team, Bledsoe quickly became his coach and mentor, working close with him and helping him in any way he could. Even latter in the season, when Bledsoe recovered from his injury and was told that Brady was going to continue to start, he didn’t complain or gripe about it but set out to make sure that Brady didn’t make any of the same mistakes he had made as a rookie. This mentor relationship between Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady was a major contribution to the Patriots 2002 Superbowl victory as well as to the continued success of Tom Brady.
This idea of a mentor relationship is not only found in football. Matt Clement expressed that one of his reasons for signing with the Boston Red Sox was so that he could gain wisdom from the likes of Curt Schilling and Jason Varitek. Business and leadership guru John Maxwell stresses the importance of mentoring in the final chapter of his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, as he writes that “A leader’s lasting value is measured by succession.” When you want to succeed in music, arts, and trades the best thing to do is to take lessons or an apprenticeship from someone that can teach you everything you need to know.
Throughout scripture, mentoring is something that is seen very regularly to help people grow in their relationship with God. One could call it a one-on-one discipleship method. We see it between Jesus and his disciple John, who is refereed to five times as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” We see it with Eli and Samuel in the Old Testament. We see it multiple times with Paul, first being mentored by Barnabas and then mentoring Titus and, as our text shows, Timothy.
The question to think about then is, why if mentoring is so important to success in sports, business, and other areas of life; and why if mentoring, or one-on-one discipleship, was modeled and supported in scripture; do we so rarely see mentoring today when it comes to our own relationships with God?
According to a study done by the National Network of Youth Ministry (NNYM), 9 out of every 10 young people who begin a relationship with Christ would say that the biggest factor in their decision was because of a one-on-one relationship with an adult. That’s 90% of young people coming to Christ today!! Knowing this statistic two years ago, when my friend Steve and I had the opportunity to conduct a survey at the Manchester/Essex High School, we asked the students what adults they had to look up to in a positive way. Out of 115 students surveyed, 38% bluntly said they had none!
With the rest of our time this morning, I want to look at the idea of mentoring, or one-on-one discipleship, and first define what it is and then I would like to look specifically at relationship between Paul and Timothy and pull out some principles that will help all of us be and have better spiritual mentors during our lives.
So, what is mentoring? Mentoring is when someone who has “been there, done that” takes someone who is “getting there, doing that” under their wings. Let me repeat that. Mentoring is when someone who has “been there, done that” takes someone who is “getting there, doing that” under their wings. I define mentoring this way for two reasons. First, mentoring isn’t as much about age as it is about experience. As Barnabas mentored Paul, the two men very well could have been similar in age but Barnabas had the experience with a relationship with God that Paul didn’t have. Second, often when we think about being a mentor, people are very quick to discredit themselves because they haven’t “lived a good enough life.” In reality though, it is often the people who have made the most mistakes that have the most to offer in a mentoring relationship. Again, Paul is a great example of this seeing that before he became a Christian, he killed Christians for a living. If Paul can be a mentor, pretty much anyone can.
Let’s look now at four steps to having a healthy mentoring relationship.
First is to begin the relationship. This seems so obvious it’s almost funny but yet I think this is the hardest part. People who are less experienced in a certain area of faith are often hesitant to talk to more experienced people because they are intimidated, embarrassed, or prideful and don’t want help. Those who are more experienced in a relationship with Christ, I think, are often intimidated by the responsibility or, as I mentioned before, don’t think they are good enough or know enough. I think it takes effort and responsibility on both parties though to make a mentoring relationship work.
Earlier on, when Paul was less experienced and in need of a mentor in the faith after his conversion, it was he that sought out the disciples and Barnabas for help. As we see in Acts 16:1-3, we see that it is Paul, the more experienced, who initiates the relationship with Timothy by asking him to join him on the missionary journey. During our spiritual lives, we need to be both seeking out those who are more experienced as a mentor and making ourselves available to those who are less experienced.
The second step to a healthy mentoring relationship is to spend time together. By time, I’m not talking about just getting coffee somewhere and then sitting and staring out the window. I am talking about really getting to know each other. The passage that we read in Philippians, as well as the two letters that Paul wrote to Timothy, really show how well Paul knows him. He knows his talents, his situations in life, his fears, and his struggles. No doubt, I think it is safe to assume that due to all the time they spent together, Timothy probably knew all those same things about Paul. In order to really get to know one another it is going to take honesty and vulnerability on both parties. Both people need to take time to ask and answer questions about their thoughts, beliefs, and life. This will take you one step closer to a healthy mentoring relationship.
First, you need to begin the relationship. Then you need to spend time together, And third, which should be the result of the first two steps, is to deeply love and respect one another. It is no hidden fact of how much Paul deeply loved Timothy by the way he speaks about him in his letter to the Philippians. In Paul’s letters, he calls Timothy “a son” four times. Paul, just like a real father, so earnestly cared about him and encouraged him. Paul also expressed “tough love” with him as well. As I read Paul’s letters, I can’t help but feel that there is a big part of Timothy that wants an easier job at a different church. Rather that just making it easier for him, Paul encourages him, gives him some advice, and corrects Timothy in his thinking.
It is also no secret how much Timothy obviously respects the wisdom and experience of Paul. I think we specifically see this in Acts 16:3, after they have only been together a short while, Timothy lets Paul circumcise him so as to more effectively bring the Gospel to the Jews in the area. That is respect!!! Often times, those of us who are less experienced often want to run ahead of ourselves and just go with something but we need to remember to slow down, listen well, and heed the advice of those who have “been there, done that” already.
Fourth and lastly, to have a healthy mentoring relationship it must be focused on Christ. Notice the language that Paul uses in Philippians 2:22. “But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” The mentor relationship that Paul and Timothy had was not about the greatness and experience of Paul, nor was it about the talent and potential of Timothy. It was about the two of them working together for God. It was all about spreading the news, both verbally and by example, of Christ’s death on the cross and how a relationship with God and forgiveness for our sins is available to all who seek it.
Having a mentor and being a mentor should be very important in your spiritual life. To find both opportunities of mentoring and being mentored, you need to look no further than this very place that we sit in this morning. Around you are handfuls of people who have “been there, done that” and handfuls of people who are “going there, doing that.”
The challenge to us this morning is to prayerfully consider the two questions of, “Who could God be asking me to mentor?” and “Who could God want me to seek out as a mentor?” One thing that we are guaranteed is that in both roles, you will be challenged and shaped a little more into the likeness of Christ.
