Last week we began the series on teamwork and we covered "How to Show Love to Others." We looked at 1 Peter 4:8a – "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other."
Today we’re going to cover the last part of 1 Peter 4:8: "For love covers a multitude of sins."
That’s it, just one phrase. That’s our consideration today: "For love covers a multitude of sins."
We’re going to zero in on that one phrase today.
This truth is so important that it is also taught in the Old Testament in Proverbs 10:12 (CEV) "Hatred stirs up trouble; love overlooks the wrongs others do."
Sometimes the very thing that makes loving others challenging to you is the fact that they have weaknesses. So the Bible says what you have to do is overlook some sins, cover those sins - not in the sense of pretending that they don’t exist or condoning them, but as is seen in the context, you have to love others in spite of their faults and failures. You have to love them and not be judgmental, not turn your back on them just because they do or say stupid things or because they don’t always act the way you want them to.
Last week we emphasized that Jesus commanded us to love one another – so we’ve got to find a way, His way, of accomplishing that love for each other. We’ve got to find a way of loving others even though they act strange sometimes.
We also saw last week that He taught us to love others as He loved us, and He certainly loved us in spite of our defects and mess-ups - God loves us unconditionally. So we have to love others in spite of the fact that they get on our nerves sometimes; in spite of the fact that they fail; in spite of the fact that they aren’t perfect and are difficult to get along with at times.
The church, the body of Christ, is the place for all of us to experience unconditional love. This is the place to pass on God’s unconditional love for others. And when I say this is the place, I don’t just mean this building, I mean this body, this fellowship.
Last Sunday night, "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" aired an episode, some of you may have seen it, about the makeover of the home of a single lady who had adopted seven children with disabilities. A couple of the young people were in wheel chairs; some were challenged in other ways. I don’t know whether or not the lady in this episode is a Christian but I do know she was exhibiting Christlikeness. What she is doing is very heroic. They did a makeover of her house, which included a lot of helpful amenities for these children with disabilities.
I thought to myself, "these kids feel love and safety in this lady’s home in spite of their physical challenges."
That reminds me of the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. The church is a place where people are to be loved and feel safe in spite of their imperfections. If you ought be able to go anywhere and be loved in spite of your warts and blemishes it ought to be where people gather to worship the True and Living God!
But in order for that to happen we’ve got to look beyond the faults and mistakes of others. Just like the lady in the home makeover episode who loved those kids in spite of their physical disabilities, we’ve got to love one another in spite of social disabilities.
We’ve got to learn and practice behavior that pleases God in this area. We can’t just say, "so and so is nice one time when you see him and grumpy the next time, so I’m avoiding him," or, "I don’t want to have anything to do with her because she behaves so immaturely in this area or that area." You have to love others even when they are hot and cold in their behavior. Someone may act cold one day because they are facing a private battle. You never know what people might have on their minds. You have to cut them some slack.
We should all work on the areas in which we need to grow but we should also all work on loving others while they’re growing.
The big question we’re going to look to God’s Word for answers is: how can you do that? How can you "cover" the sins of others – how can you love them in spite of the fact that they sometimes do and say wrong things? It is essential that we learn and practice looking beyond the faults and mistakes of others because you have to do this to work together well as a team.
Coverings for the faults and mistakes of others:
1. Accept others in spite of their weaknesses.
Acceptance and approval are two different things.
Approval is based on what we do. Acceptance is based on who we are. This is a principle we’ve talked about before but we’re going to review it briefly and then add a few new principles.
Look at how the Bible shares this concept.
Romans 14:1 (NCV) Accept into your group someone who is weak in faith, and do not argue about opinions.
Here’s a helpful paraphrase of this same verse.
Romans 14:1 (Msg) Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with--even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
When you accept someone it doesn’t mean you are agreeing with them on everything. It doesn’t mean that you approve of everything they do. You treat them gently. You don’t try to beat them into accepting your opinion on everything.
Do you see the irony? The reason you jump all over people who don’t agree with you is because you desire their approval! You feel more comfortable when others agree with you because, in your mind, that means they approve of you. You need to get out of the approval mode and get into the acceptance mode. You need to accept others and let others accept you on the basis of who you are not what you do!
I can perhaps illustrate this best by looking at the approval junkies of Christ’s day - the Pharisees.
John 12:43 (NASB) They loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God.
Seeking man’s approval is idolatry. When it comes to approval you need God’s approval. And the only way to get that is in Christ.
Once you have received Christ’s approval by making a faith commitment to Him, then you may accept others on the same basis that Christ accepts you – not because you deserve it – but because God extends His grace to you. Because you are created in His image. Now you are free to extend grace to others!
Someone said, "when God saw you it was love at first sight." That’s true. God loves you – therefore you can afford to love others. God loves you in spite of the fact that you don’t always do and say the right things. And you can love others in spite of the fact that they don’t always do and say the right things.
The world’s idea of love is to love when others meet our approval. God’s expression of love is to love others because they are inherently valuable.
"Therefore accept one another, even as Christ also accepted you, to the glory of God." (Romans 15:7 WEB)
Thank God Jesus didn’t wait for you to achieve perfection before He accepted you. And you don’t have to wait for others to be perfect to accept them either. You don’t have to be perfect for others to accept you. If they don’t accept you then they’re not being like God – they’re not being "godly."
1. Accept others even when you don’t approve of their behavior.
And here’s the second way to cover the faults and mistakes of others:
2. Quit Nitpicking.
The dictionary defines nitpick this way: To be concerned with or find fault with insignificant details.
Romans 14:13 (CEV) We must stop judging others. We must also make up our minds not to upset anyone’s faith.
I also like a paraphrase here:
Romans 14:13 (Msg) Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.
Don’t make someone’s life more difficult than it already is. Life can be tough. And you know, we don’t always need to hear someone say to us, "Life is tough – so you’ve got to be tougher." Sometimes we may need that but most of the time we need someone to say, "Life is tough so I’m going to be your friend. I’m going to help you carry your burdens. I’m not going to make your life more difficult, I’m not going to nitpick at your faults and mistakes."
Everybody has his or her peculiarities and eccentricities. You don’t have to resent them for it. If you hold resentment in your heart at the oddities of others or because they didn’t do what you wanted them to do or act how you wanted them to act your life will become intolerable.
"One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills." (Earl Wilson)
You don’t have to go around stewing about it every time someone upsets you. You can forgive them. You can cover their weaknesses with love! You only frustrate yourself by waiting for apologies. Sometimes people don’t even realize, often until God shows them, that they behave badly. Realize this: you don’t often see your bad behavior right away either.
Good social skills insist that you often have to overlook the irregularities of character in others. Sure you can demand that others treat you perfectly – but you’ll have a hard time enforcing your strictness.
You have a choice! You can decide to cover the sins of others or you can choose to nitpick. You can decide to "cure" the weaknesses of others or you can choose to "cover" others’ weaknesses.
THE BIBLE DOESN’T TELL YOU THAT LOVE "CURES" THE SINS OF OTHERS – IT TELLS YOU THAT IT "COVERS" THE SINS OF OTHERS!
Do you know why you nitpick? You want a quick fix to the characteristics of others that irritate you. You want to cure them with a lecture – with pouting – with the silent treatment – with anger – with threats - with gossip – or other wrong and childish behaviors.
If you want someone to be cured of a bad temper or a grumbling, negative, grouchy attitude…if you’d like for another person to quit gossiping or get over their insecurity…if you know someone who is overbearing or someone who isn’t a good listener…then pray for them – but don’t nitpick them to death.
Nitpicking makes you a faultfinding detective and makes others around you uncomfortable. Nitpicking makes people resent you, and makes them naturally resist your efforts at reforming them.
The great painter, Pablo Picasso was asked why he didn’t make pictures of things the way they are – objective pictures. "I’m not quite sure what that would be," Picasso replied. The critic protested producing a photograph of his wife from his wallet. "There, you see, that is a picture of how she really is." Picasso looked at it and said, "She is rather small, isn’t she? And flat?"
Don’t nitpick. You won’t get good results – it will only backfire on you!
I read this article on the Internet, on WebMD, on having a happy marriage. This is not from the Bible but it agrees in principle with what the Bible teaches.
"Thermostat settings. Dirty socks. Toothpaste caps. Our little habits make our spouses crazy. But no two people are ever truly compatible, so quit nitpicking each other, relationship experts advise. Save the battles for the big issues -- and you’ll have a happy marriage.
Susan Boon, PhD, a social psychologist at the University of Calgary in Alberta, Canada, teaches classes in interpersonal relationships. A few years ago, she picked up the book, Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work, by John Gottman, MD, psychologist, relationship researcher for 30 years, and founder of The Gottman Institute in Seattle. Ever since discovering the book, Boon has recommended it to her students.
Secrets of a Happy Marriage:
Long-lasting, happy marriages have more than great communication, Boon says. "Dr. Gottman brings up something no one ever talks about -- that irreconcilable differences are normal, that you just have to come to terms with them, not try to resolve the unresolvable. On some level, that should have been obvious, but it hasn’t been," she tells WebMD.
Most marriage therapists focus on "active listening," which involves paraphrasing, validating, affirming your spouse’s feedback, says Boon. "That’s all well and good and may help you get through some conflicts in a less destructive way. But, as Dr. Gottman puts it, ’you’re asking people to do Olympic-style gymnastics when they can hardly crawl.’ Many people will fail at those techniques. Research indicates that most people are dissatisfied with the outcome of marital therapy, that the problems come back."
In happy marriages, Boon points out, couples don’t do any of that!
Instead, you must be nice to your partner, research shows. Make small gestures, but make them often. "The little things matter," says Boon. "What a happy marriage is based on is deep friendship, knowing each other well, having mutual respect, knowing when it makes sense to try to work out an issue, when it is not solvable. Many kinds of issues simply aren’t solvable."
Learn how to identify issues that must be resolved, that can be "fruitfully discussed," she notes. "Learn to live with the rest. Just put up with it. All you do is waste your breath and get angry over these things that can’t be changed. You’re better off not trying to change them. Work around them. Commit to staying together, even though this is something you don’t like."
Quit nitpicking in your marriage. Quit nitpicking in your friendships. Quit nitpicking at work. Also, quit nitpicking in your parenting.
Parents, please don’t nitpick at your kids. Don’t go around all of the time barking at them over insignificant stuff. Save your energy for the stuff that really matters. Even if you get your kids to obey on the outside over every little thing – on the inside they will resent you if you nitpick them to death. That’s what the Bible is getting at when it says in Ephesians 6:4 (Weymouth New Testament)
"And you, fathers, do not irritate your children, but bring them up tenderly with true Christian training and advice."
Children have to have instructions - sure. Teenagers and young adults need guidance - certainly. But what they don’t need is someone breathing down their back every minute of the day.
Here’s a little humorous story about what happens when others have to behave to your standards all of the time.
A guy is visiting a zoo when he says to the zookeeper, "That’s marvelous, having a lion and a monkey in the same cage. How do they get along?"
"Okay, usually," answered the
zookeeper. "Occasionally they have a disagreement, and we have to get a new monkey."
Don’t be a lion. Learn to get along with others by covering their sins. Refuse to see people’s little faults. That’s what love does. Choose to cover the sins of others instead of nitpicking.
And another thing love does to cover sin…
3. Be a peace preserver.
Listen carefully to the following words of Jesus.
Mark 9:50 (NLT) "Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? (Rhetorical question – if salt loses its saltiness there’s nothing you can do to make it salty again. You just have to discard it.) You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other."
Before the days of refrigeration salt was essential as a preservative. The chemical qualities of salt would enable people to store foods for longer periods of time.
But Jesus was pointing out the fact that if salt loses those chemical properties it is no longer a preservative. His point is that He doesn’t want His followers to lose their peace-preserving qualities.
"You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves (in what way?) live in peace with each other."
You will be tempted to forfeit the peace with others – but Christ says don’t be like salt that lost its saltiness. Preserve the peace. Satan will lie to you and tell you things about why you need to quit trying to get along with others – but don’t you fall for his scheming against you.
Your own weaknesses will betray you when it comes to preserving the peace. At times you will want to give up trying to get along with others. It’s then you need to remember the words of Jesus - "You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other."
A wise physician once said, "I have been practicing Medicine for thirty years, and I have prescribed many things. But in the long run, I have learned that for most of the ills of the human creature, the best medicine is patient understanding of another’s problems." When someone asked him, "What if it doesn’t work? What if someone doesn’t respond to patient understanding?" He replied, "Double the dose!"
Who do you need to double your dose of patient understanding with today? Who needs you to cover their sins? Maybe someone at home. Perhaps someone on the job or at school. Maybe someone at church. Wherever it is, "love covers a multitude of sins."
Maybe today the Holy Spirit is talking to you through the Word of God about forgiving someone. Maybe He’s telling you to quit nitpicking. Maybe He’s brought someone to your mind that you need to accept even if you have a great dislike for their weaknesses. Maybe He’s reminding your that you need to be a peace preserver – you need to stay salty.
Maybe you don’t know Christ yet.
Would you like to be a part of a fellowship where you are loved even though you’re not perfect? Well the Body of Christ, the church, is such a place! And when I talk about the Body of Christ I’m not talking about becoming a member of this or any other local church. I’m talking about having a personal relationship with Christ.
God loves you. He doesn’t want you to go through life being beat up by your sins.
You know it’s ironic. The Bible teaches us to cover the sins of others but it tells us to do something totally different with our own sins.
Proverbs 28:13 (NLT) People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.
Cover the sins of others with love but confess your own sins to God. You need to tell God about your sin. Don’t try hiding your sins from God. His mercy comes when you admit to Him your wrongs.
