#1 PUTTING OUT FIRES: POLISHING OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
I will email this in three parts, but the lesson being taught is a multiple part series.
Introduction:
Today we have many problems that come from a lack of wisdom and poor communication skills. We need to polish our communication skills and learn to put out fires and emotions by good conversation and communication.
James warns us the tongue is full of deadly poison.
James again warns that the tongue can ignite many fires that bring great destruction.
Let us look at some literary tools and devices both good and bad and let us come to the Father justified by our words.
A word can be very powerful. Your words can launch you to new heights.
Your words can become a trap and a snare.
Few ever learn the power of a word.
GOD TEACH US TO CONTROL OUR TONGUE AND PUT OUT FIRES.
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
27 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
LEARN TO BE A GOOD LISTENER! PRACTICE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
Could you join my team and pass this on to another?
Words are tools. Words can aid us to accomplish God’s works, or we can hinder God’s work by poor word usage.
Your brain should be in gear before you ever open your mouth.
Words can never be recalled. A word is a shadow of a deed!
A word spoken in due season, how good it is!
But what about an ill word at an ill season?
Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
I. GOD TEACH US TO CONTROL OUR TONGUE AND PUT OUT FIRES.
TEXT:
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
27 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
1 Timothy 6:18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, WILLING TO COMMUNICATE.
Hebrews 13:16 But to do good and TO COMMUNICATE FORGET NOT: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
A. Communicate:
*** share *** to convey knowledge or information *** to make known
*** to reveal by a clear sign *** to open into each other
*** to cause to pass from one to another
*** to transmit information, thought, or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood
B. Communication:
*** the act or instance of transmitting, *** information shared, written or spoken
*** a process where information is shared through word, symbols, signs or behavior.
*** personal rapport *** to express ideas effectively
C. Some people the only time their mouth is empty is when they are changing feet?
II. GOD GAVE MAN A HINT AS TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT:
GOD GAVE MAN TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH.
WISDOM MIGHT BE FOUND IN LISTENING TWICE AS MUCH AS WE SPEAK.
James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man BE SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, and slow to wrath.
A. GOOD COMMUNICATION HAS THREE PARTS:
1. TO THINK
2. TO HEAR
3. TO SPEAK
B. TALK TOO MUCH
When we lack discipline some tend to talk too much.
C.Just because you talk a lot does not mean you will be heard.
It is not just talking a lot, it is saying something when you open your mouth.
III. WORDS ARE TOOLS. GOOD PRACTICE GROWS GOOD THINGS.
A. SEMIOTICS: TO OBSERVE SIGNS,
a theory of signs and symbols that deal with function in artificial and natural language.
B. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? The power of words?
A man worked for a multi millionaire cattle rancher in Texas.
The rancher sent his man to a huge stock sale where champion bulls were being sold.
The rich rancher wanted a prize bull to breed with his stock.
The price on the prize bull was very, very high.
So the employee text messaged his boss that the price was very high.
So the employee asked the boss, should I buy the bull at this price?
The text message came back: --- no price too high
Now what did this text message mean?
No! The Price is too high?
Or did the communication mean: No price too high!
So what would you have done? So what did the man do?
He called his employer to clarify what he meant.
IV. LANGUAGE SKILLS CAN DEPEND ON HOW YOU SAY IT.
A. My Mom said, Martin --- I knew I could slide.
But when Mom said: WADE MARTIN HUGHES --- I knew it was time for immediate action.
B. It was more than what she said, it was how she said what she said.
C. YOU CAN USE WORDS TO DO UNIQUE WORKS:
Seems there was an old lady that was writing about her life.
In her discussion she was talking about her family members and the role they played in her life.
The lady had one Uncle that was in trouble with the law and in and out of prisons.
Eventually he ended up in a prison and he was executed in the electric chair.
This author thought of leaving her criminal uncle out of her book to save embarrassment, she then decided I will include him, but I will hedge the truth
with words.
So the author penned these words about her criminal Uncle.
My Uncle was involved in applied electronics in one of our state institutions. He was away from the family much of the time. He was tied to his work.
We were sadden to hear that his end came as a sudden shock.
It all depends on the way you use your words!
V. HOW DO WE COMMUNICATE?
A. Words
B. Deeds and actions
C. Facial expressions
D. Inflection --- change in pitch or loudness of the voice
E. Body language
F. Intonation, Tone --- whinning
G. Volume
VI. WHAT DETERMINES WHAT YOU HEAR?
COMMUNICATION INVOLVES MUCH MORE THAN WORDS!
A. What we hear comes by several means:
1. 30% to 40% comes from the words that you hear.
2. 30% to 40% comes from inflection, tone, and volume.
3. 20% to 30% comes from body language and facial expressions.
B. Heartache and trouble can be birthed in a few words.
WORDS CAN BE MEAN AND CRUEL!
C. Once a word is launched into the verbal realm it can never be recalled!
D. Communication is far beyond the words you say, but how you say the words.
When you say the words, the way you look when you say the words come into play.
E. MIGHT I ADD, THE MOOD OF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO MIGHT PLAY A ROLE IN HOW THEY INTERPRET WHAT YOU SAY?
VII. LET US PONDER WHAT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING WE KNOW?
A. MY LAST YEAR TEACHING SCHOOL IN LEE COUNTY, VIRGINIA, WE WERE STUDYING THE SOVIET UNION, AND A YOUNG GIRL NAMED TAMMY CAME UP TO MY DESK, AND ASKED ME THIS QUESTION?
MR. HUGHES WHAT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IN THE WORLD?
B. I asked Tammy if I could answer her question tomorrow?
So I studied all evening and the next morning about dangerous things.
I thought of sharp knives and swords?
Then I thought of guns that can shoot 20 miles with deadly accuracy.
Then I thought about atomic and nuclear bombs and their great destructive powers, they can kill everything within a many mile circle.
C. My devotions that night was found in James 3.
I discovered beyond a shadow of a doubt the most dangerous thing in the world.
James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever
the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 Even so the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
7 For every kind of beast, and of the birds, and of the serpents, and of the things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind.
8 BUT THE TONGUE CAN NO MAN TAME; IT IS UNRULY EVIL,
FULL OF DEADLY POISON.
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God?
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. MY BRETHREN, THESE THINGS OUGHT NOT SO TO BE.
D. A horse Bridle made of steel inserted in the mouth of a horse, to curb or restrain the horse and gains control.
E. SHIP --- a little helm.
F. MATCH --- starts little but can destroy many miles.
G. THE TONGUE IS A FIRE! Fire from hell.
WHAT CAN A SPARK KINDLE IN COMMUNICATION?
H. Kindle:
*** ignite *** to set on fire
*** to start burning *** to stir up *** to arouse
*** To bring into being *** to flare up
I. THE ISSUE IS NOT JUST THE SPARK CREATED BUT THE LOSS OF CONTROL.
The power of the spark or match depends on:
Flammable --- quickness and capable of easily burning, excited, or angered Fuel? Dryness? Oxygen?
J. Ever heard of the story: THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL’S BACK?
One light stroke beyond ones ability to handle is enough to break the camel’s
back.
Much hurt, offense, pain and trouble can be birthed from the tongue.
K. FULL OF DEADLY POISON:
Poison:
***substance through it’s actions that kills, injures, or impairs.
*** something destructive or harmful
*** substance that inhibits the activity of another
***reaction or process
***noxious, toxic
*** TO INSTILL WITH BITTER FEELINGS, embitter
VIII. GUARD YOUR EARS AND YOU WILL HAVE LESS OF A PROBLEM WITH
YOUR MOUTH. GOD GAVE US TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH FOR A
REASON.
A. Can you imagine what would happen if some people had two mouths?
B. Seems some people only stop their mouth long enough to switch feet?
C. THERE IS GREAT POWER IN THE NEGATIVE!
Years ago I pastored a small missions work in eastern Kentucky. The funds were very limited and we had to move into a brand new Government Low Cost Housing Projects.
This was an eye opening experience.
In the summer, I would often sit out on the curb and play my guitar.
Music will draw a crowd any where you go.
I was sitting on the curb and 20 to 30 kids would gather around and we would sing. We sang Jesus Loves Me, You Are My Sunshine, etc.
This would open a witnessing door for me.
One day an old lady had moved in, she sat there with us and sang and was so happy. She loved her new apartment, she loved the singing and the kids.
The sun went down, and we quit playing and the kids ran off to play.
The old lady told me how much she appreciated God letting her move into this complex and God was good.
While I was cleaning and putting up my guitar a neighborhood gossip came by and sat down and started talking about this one and then the other.
She had something negative to say about every one in the complex.
In less than one hour of listening, the old lady got up and said she had to move, she couldn’t take it.
In one hour she went from blessings to problems? Why?
I will tell you within the week that lady moved out of the complex? Wow?
IX. WE DEVELOP POOR COMMUNICATION WHEN WE OFTEN RAISE A STINK!
A. Every day the huge pit bull dog walked by the skunk.
The skunk mocked and made fun of the bulldog.
B. One day the cat said to the bull dog: WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH THAT, CAN’T YOU BEAT UP THAT SKUNK?
C. The wise pit bulldog said, Any day, I could beat up that skunk, any day I wanted to, but the bulldog said it is not worth the stink!
Proverbs 30:33 Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath
bringeth forth strife.
X. LEAVE YOUR BURDEN OFF ME?
A. One pretty sunny day the body was having a discussion.
The mouth was talking on behalf of the nose.
B. So the mouth said to the eyes, our nose is getting sick and tired of carrying
your burden. Every morning when we get up, eyes you put your burden for
your weaknesses on the nose. We are tired of it!
C. So the next morning when the body got up, the hands refused to put the burden for the eyes on the nose.
D. The body ate breakfast and went for a brisk walk for exercise. The body never went too far when it tripped and the nose hit the pavement
real hard.
E. The body slowly got up, and the nose was bleeding down into the mouth. When the mouth tasted the pouring blood, the mouth realized, it should have
stayed closed.
F. THEN THE MOUTH STATED: LETS GO HOME AND GET THE GLASSES, THE BURDEN OF THE NOSE IS BENEFICIAL TO MORE THAN THE EYES, THE BURDEN HELPS ALL OF US.
WE WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM.
GOD TEACH US TO CONTROL OUR TONGUE AND PUT OUT FIRES.
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
27 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
LEARN TO BE A GOOD LISTENER! PRACTICE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
Could you join my team and pass this on to another?
