SERVICE for RE-AFFIRMATION OF MARRIAGE VOWS
between Mick and Chris Chivers
On Saturday 17th September in NR at 4pm
Hymn: Morning has broken
Introduction
This sentence may be used
God is love, and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them. 1 John 4.16
We have come together today to give thanks for and to celebrate 40 years of marriage between Mick and Chris Chivers and to
This prayer may be said
Those who wish to renew their vows stand and say together:
Heavenly Father, we thank you for all your blessings to us. We thank you for all things that have enriched our lives, for all people who have blessed us with their love and friendship. We thank you for Christian marriage, for our homes and families and friends. Give us, O Lord, this further blessing, that as we have freely received, so we may freely give. Confirm and strengthen our marriages, that our homes may be to us, and to friend and stranger, places of joy and gladness. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Renewal of Vows:
Minister: Do you here, in the presence of God and this congregation renew and affirm the vows you made to each other when you bound yourselves together in holy matrimony?
We do.
Minister: Will you seek to nurture and daily affirm your love and commitment to each other in the light of the love that God has revealed to us in Jesus Christ?
We will.
The minister says to Mick
Minister: Mick, will you renew the vows you made to Chris on your marriage day?
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
He answers
I will.
The minister says to Chris
Chris, will you renew the vows you made to Mick on your marriage day? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
She answers
I will.
Mick and Chris face each other.
Mick takes Chris’ right hand in his.
Mick, please repeat these words after me:
I, Mick, renew my promise to you, Chris,
to have and to hold from that day forward;
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
They turn their hands over
Chris, please repeat these words after me:
I, Chris, renew my promise to you, Mick ,
to have and to hold from this day forward;
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
Minister: Mick, please repeat after me:
Chris, with this ring I renew the vow I made to you, on our wedding day in which I promised
that I would honour you with my body,
that I would give all that I am to you and
that I would share all that I have with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Minister: Chris, please repeat after me:
Mick, with this ring I renew the vow I made to you on our wedding day in which I promised
that I would honour you with my body,
that I would give all that I am to you and
that I would share all that I have with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Minister: Let us pray.
Gracious and eternal God, look with favour on all who have come to renew their marriage vows. Grant them your blessing, and assist them with your grace, that with steadfast love they may continue to honour and keep the promises they have made; through Jesus Christ our Saviour, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Collect.
Almighty God, our heavenly Father, you gave marriage to be a source of blessing to us:
We thank you for the joys of family life: May we know your presence and peace in our homes, fill them with your love, and use them for your glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The Reading 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Talk
Story: Richard Daly was Mayor of Chicago for 21 years between 1955-1976. He was a rather forbidding guy to work for.
One day, one of Mayor Daly’s speech writers came in his office and asked for a pay rise.
Mayor Daly replied in his usual irrascible manner.
“I’m not going giving you a pay rise.
You are already getting more than you are worth.
You should be paying me for the privilege of working for a great American hero like me. Get out”
Daly quietly congratulated himself as the speech writer walked out with his tail between his legs – and thought no more about it.
Two weeks later Mayor Daly was on his way to give a speech to a convention of veterans.
The speech was going to receive nationwide TV coverage.
Now one other thing Mayor Daly was famous for - was for not reading his speeches - until he got up to deliver them.
So he stood up - before a vast throng of veterans and the national press and began his speech.
Addressing the veterans, he said “I’m concerned for you.
I have a heart for you.
I am deeply convinced that this country needs to take care of its veterans.
And so, today I am proposing a seventeen point plan to take care of you - that includes the city, the state and the federal government.
By this time everyone, including Mayor Daly, was on the edge of their seats, wondering what this revolutionary plan of Daly’s was.
As Daly turned the page of his speech over, he saw the words - and these words alone:
“You’re on your own now, you great American hero.”
In contrast to Mayor Daly – in marriage - you are not on your own, you’re in it TOGETHER
Mick and Chris have come here today to give thanks to God for their togetherness that began with their marriage 40 years ago.
What do you say to a couple who have been together for 40 years – when you’ve only be married for 23!
Someone once defined marriage as
“a voluntary life sentence with no remission for good behaviour.”
When I asked the husband of a couple who were celebrating their Diamond Anniversary this year what he thought about it – his reply was:
“ If I’d committed murder, I’d have got less”
I’m a vicar – so I have to say something!
In marraige you are there to support and cherish one another and the two have become one.
I like what one young husband whose wedding I perfomed said at the Reception about his wife:
I asked her to marry me, not because I have found someone I can live with - but because I have found someone I can’t live without”
Sadly for so many couples who get married nowadays, getting married in church is the easy part – staying together is the hard part.
And some people have some very strange ideas about what marriage is all about.
Take Elizabeth Taylor – who after seven marriages and five divorces - said this:
“I think it’s fairly obvious why I was married. As strange as it may sound, I am a very moral woman. I was taught by my parents that if you fall in love, if you want to have a love affair, you get married. I guess I’m very old-fashioned.” (The San Francisco Chronicle)
And some have even stranger ideas about what makes a good partner!
Take Agatha Christie, who once said: “ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” She should know I suppose– she was married to one
What is wonderful is that for Mick and Chris their marriage vows have meant a lot to them.
They have been through – I am sure - thick and thin together and have emerged the other side stronger for it
In a recent US survey , do you know what the three most important keys to a healthy
marriage were:
1. good communication,
2. ability to resolve conflict and
3. close friendship
1. Good Communication
So much harm is done by miscommunication.
Story: The speaker at a women’s club was lecturing on marriage and asked the audience how many of the women present wanted to “mother” their husbands.
One member in the back row raised her hand.
“Do you really want to ‘mother’ your husband?” the speaker asked.
“Mother?” the woman replied. “I thought you said ‘smother.’
Story: A few years ago, the Harry S. Truman Library in Independence, MO, made public 1,300 recently discovered letters that the late President wrote to his wife, Bess, over the course of a half-century.
President Truman had a lifelong rule of writing to his wife every day they were apart.
He did this whenever he was away on official business or whenever Bess left Washington to go home to Independence.
If the President of the United States took time out from his dealing with the world’s most powerful leaders to sit down and WRITE a letter to his wife - isn’t REGULAR communication with our wives something we should make a high priority too
2. The ability to resolve conflict
The ability to recognise our mistakes and say sorry quickly goes a long way in solving conflicts.
St Paul in the Holy Scriptures says: “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”(Eph. 4:26)
But don’t follow the corollary of the Best Man - at a wedding I recently took - who said - in his Best Man’s speech:
“The Vicar told us in the service this afternoon that we shouldn’t let the sun go down on our anger. He’s quite right.
You should stay up all night fighting”
3 A close friendship
And my final point is that for many successful marriages, one of the keys is that husband and wife are first and foremost good friends – they like each other’s company.
The longer you are married, it more the danger that you will take one another for granted
PAUSE - Don’t!
Make special time for yourselves each week – to keep the marriage fresh
I have spoken of three ingredients in a successful marriage from a recent US survey.
But there is one more
4. The presence of God
The last ingredient in a good marriage is the involvement of God.
The wonderful message of hope - that the Christian Gospel brings - is that you can commit all your problems and share your joys with God in prayer.
As they say: “A chord of three is strongly than a band of two.”
You have come today to renew your vows in Church before God. It is great that you want to involve him in that – may I encourage you to involve him also in all the nitty gitty of life together too
Amen
Hymn: One more step along the world I go
Prayers.
When I say :
Lord in your mercy
please respond by saying
Hear our prayer
As we give thanks today for Chris and Mick’s marriage, let us pray that God will keep them and all other married couples faithful to their marriage vows. That they may live and grow together in love and peace all the days of their life,
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
We pray that Mick and Chris may continue truly and faithfully to perform these vows which they have made together in your sight
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer
We pray that Chris and Mick’s marriage may continue to be a witness to your love in this troubled world; may unity overcome division, forgiveness heal injury, and joy triumph over sorrow,
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
May their home continue be a place of love, security and truth,
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
We pray also for your blessing for their children, families and friends, and all who share with them in their happiness,
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
May your presence be with all whom they love and who love them, especially those who away from home.
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
We will now conclude our prayers with the Lord’s Prayer in the traditional form.
Together we pray
All Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come;
thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.
Hymn: Love Divine
Blessing
The Lord bless and keep ypu
The Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious unto you
The Lord lift up his countenance and give you peace
And the blessing of God Almighty, Father Son and
Holy Spirit be amongst you and those whom you love
All Amen.
