Series Title: What are Friends for?
Message Title: One in Spirit (fifth in the series)
(1 Samuel 18:1) After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.
Only a couple of times in one’s life will God lead you across the path of someone that will become as close to you as Jonathan did to David. Of course, we are not talking of our spouse. A spouse comes first in our thoughts and in our love when we think of someone on this earth. And, our spouse could and should become closer to us than the Jonathon/David relationship. But, as societal creatures, some people need more. More interaction, more talking, more sharing, more dependency, … so we seek out, in God’s guidance, our own Jonathon relationship.
We have said many times that relationships take love and care to maintain. A relationship that is not maintained with love and care will quickly fall into disrepair. The two friends will grow apart until there is no semblance of friendship, and you’ll seem like strangers the next time that you meet.
Relationships must be nurtured and cared for. We could compare nurturing and caring for a friendship to a gardener caring for a delicate flower. However, if your friendship needs such a delicate hand as that gardener needs with that delicate flower, then you’re in trouble. No, friendships need the deep-reaching cultivating tools of a produce farmer. Friendships sometimes need the big sharp edges of the pruning shears to cut back unnecessary growth in one direction or the constant tending of the caretaker’s hoe to get rid of those pesky weeds.
Do you have a Jonathon/David friendship? Jonathon came into David’s life at just the right time. Just when David needed him, he appeared. And, I’m sure that Jonathon needed David as well. We say that because you can’t have this type of relationship and it be only one-sided! Scripture presents us with several ways to determine whether or not you have a Jonathon/David friendship.
Friends Covenant with each other
Friends Share with each other
Friends Protect each other
Friends Speak well of each other
Friends Surrender to each other
Friends Mutually help each other (to find strength in God)
Friends Covenant with each other
I remember when I was young, how about you? For me, the words, I promise seemed like it was always on my lips. Or, even the cross my heart and hope to die kind of promise was made more than a few times. It seems the younger we are the easier it is to make a promise and, yes, the easier it is to break a promise.
As we grow older, the less promises we make. And, if we do make a promise, it’s likely to be watered down with numerous conditions rendering any mistake on anyone’s part as oh well. I once even heard a young actor in a TV interview say that promises are like rules and New Year’s resolutions, they are made to be broken. If you, like the young arrogant and selfish actor, have indeed plummeted to that low point of existence, I would caution you against trying to establish any kind of relationships, much less friendships. Instead, you should work on your relationship with God!
But, let’s say you’ve allowed God to smooth out that relationship with Him, and He has now brought someone into your life that you seem to enjoy being around. And, the other person enjoys being around you as well. What do you do? How do you progress? Maybe you’ve been burned in the past by someone that was a take, take, take, kind of friend and you don’t want to get into something like that again.
Discuss it! If you feel that you want to develop a good and deep friendship with another, there probably is a chance that the other person has the same inclination. So…ASK! What do you ask?
(1 Samuel 18:3) And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
The scripture tells us that Jonathan made a covenant with David…because he loved him as himself. We have to remember that these two were at a very special point in each of their lives. Jonathon, the son of a king, and in the line to succeed his father as king. And, David, a shepherd that was selected and newly anointed by God to be the next king of Israel. Jonathon had the positional authority, yet David had the special anointing of God. How could they hope to pursue any kind of friendship with those obstacles? At the very least, these two men should have been on less than speaking terms with each other. But, they weren’t. Why? Because God brought them together in one spirit, the Spirit of God! Both men truly loved God, and God was the Center of their affection. With that, they knew and understood their positions and their authority, and they made a covenant with each other. It was a covenant of love, a love that is founded in God. It was brotherly love, yet sustained by the agape love of God.
Don’t be afraid to ask about friendship. Don’t be afraid to ask about relationships. Believe me, there are many more people out there that are afraid of getting hurt in a relationship than not. But, how do we ask? What do we ask? Let the person know what you feel. Maybe something like, “you ever feel God brings people together for a reason?”
Don’t rush it. Just let it go smoothly. Let the Spirit move you and fill you as you talk. You don’t just run across a best friends for life (BFF) everyday. And, you really don’t want to jump into a conversation with, “I would like to really engage in a deep Godly and reciprocating friendship with you. What do you think?”
Don’t rush it. Just let it go smoothly. If God led you into the beginning of that relationship, He will sustain it and empower it. Look at what happened later on with Jonathon and David. This was after many things had happened between David and Saul, and Saul and Jonathon. Things that needed a re-affirmation of trust and commitment.
(1 Samuel 20:16) So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD call David’s enemies to account." 17 And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.
Deep and true friendship has an eternity to flower and blossom. Waiting a day or week for God’s timing to permit you the right words is well worth it. Let the Spirit work and you won’t regret it. But, jump into something that was not ordained by God, and you’ll only suffer pain and heartache.
Friends Share with each other
I was watching the children in Sunday School one Sunday, when a young boy pulled out a stick of gum from deep within his pocket. The boy sitting next to him was not only his Sunday School buddy, but they had lived next door to each other all of their lives. I come to find out later that they did everything together and were virtually inseparable. But, back to the stick of gum. The one boy with the gum unwrapped the wrapper quietly, while his buddy watched him, eyeing that piece of gum. There was a question and answer session that went on quickly and only through eye contact. Not a word was said. Finally, the gum boy tore the gum in half and handed the ‘smaller’ half to the friend. The friend gladly accepted the gum and not a word was said about his being an eighth of an inch shorter than his friends.
After Sunday School I asked the receiver of the gum gift to elaborate, “So I noticed you got a piece of gum from your friend. But, wasn’t his bigger than yours?”
I’ll never forget what he said, “Well, it was his to begin with. He was the one that was sharing with me!”
Good friends share with each other and don’t complain about the portion. They simply accept and go on. Look at what Jonathan did for David in a gesture of peace and friendship:
(1 Samuel 18:4) Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
To just take off your weaponry in this day and time and give it to someone would be along the lines of giving away your TV. It was very much needed [not saying the TV is needed today, though.]
Good friends will take out of not only their abundance but their lack of abundance, too. Good friends will share what little they have, even if it means going hungry or doing without. Can you do that? Good friends will not let their friends go without in any circumstance.
The burden of seeing a good friend with less than you will inspire you, or burden you to share! Even when you don’t have very much to share.
Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing, and his tunic and gave them to David. He gave him his entire outfit, sword and all! Would you be able to do that? yea, you might say that since Jonathan was the son of a king then he would have been able to get more. However, they were outside. They were not in Jonathan’s room back at the castle. People would notice when he went home that evening that he wasn’t wearing very much and would have said something about it. You see, Jonathan not only shared with his good friend, but he also didn’t care about what other people thought.
Friends Protect each other
Whether it’s life or death, or slander, or gossip, or financial, good friends will try to protect each other. Look at what Jonathan did on behalf of David:
(1 Samuel 19:1) Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David 2 and warned him, "My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there.
We have to remember that Jonathan’s father was a very unstable man. At one time he had even demanded that Jonathan himself be put to death for breaking a rule. A rule that Jonathan had never heard proclaimed! So, for Jonathan to continue to step in between Saul and David was essentially taking his life into his own hands. But, that’s what good friends do. They protect each other. They step into the line of fire, so to speak, to help each other in times of despair.
Friends Speak well of each other
At the end of the day, do you find yourself thinking bad thoughts about your good friend? Are you putting them down in front of others? Though we shouldn’t talk about people at all, it would be safe to say then that the person that you are talking about with others is certainly not your friend. Especially if the conversation is not edifying the person you are talking about. Look at what the Bible says about Jonathan and David:
1 Samuel 19:4 Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father
He spoke well of David to his father. We must remember that Saul wants to kill David, yet here is Saul’s son speaking well of him. Do you speak well of your friends when others are trying to put them down? You should. If you find yourself agreeing with people when they are putting your good friend down, chances are you don’t have a Jonathan/David friendship with that person!
Friends Surrender to each other
(1 Samuel 20:4) Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you."
When I read this verse I’m reminded of the hymn by B.B. McKinney,
“Wherever He Leads I’ll Go.”
Take up thy cross and follow me,
I heard my Master say,
I gave my life to ransom thee,
surrender your all today.
Refrain:
Wherever He leads, I’ll go,
Wherever He leads, I’ll go;
I’ll follow my Christ Who loves me so,
Wherever He leads, I’ll go.
He drew me closer to His side,
I sought His will to know,
and in that will I now abide;
wherever He leads, I’ll go.
Refrain
It maybe through the shadows dim
or o’er the stormy sea,
I take my cross and follow Him
wherever He leadeth me.
Refrain
My heart, my life, my all I bring to Christ
Who loves me so.
He is my Master, Lord, and King;
wherever He leads, I’ll go.
Refrain
Good friends surrender all they have to each other. It doesn’t matter what it is, nothing should come between good friends.
Friends Mutually help each other (to find strength in God)
Do you have trouble helping your best friend to find strength in God? We need to look again to see if that person is actually our best friend. Any hindrances at ministering to a close friend in God, would call into question whether they are actually a close friend. Why? Because friends mutually help each other to find strength in God. Look at what Jonathan did for David.
(1 Samuel 23:16) And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.
What about you? Do you find yourself doing this? If so, then you may have found someone that is more than a friend, they are a close friend. And, if they are doing the same for you, well, you are blessed since God has given you and Jonathan/David friendship!
Summary
As we’ve said before, finding someone to get into a Jonathan/David friendship is not up to you. It’s up to God. But, when God does bring that person into your life, then it is up to you to maintain that relationship through God or it will fall into disrepair. We’ve shared some points concerning how to identify and how to maintain those close friendships and here they are once again:
Friends Covenant with each other
Friends Share with each other
Friends Protect each other
Friends Speak well of each other
Friends Surrender to each other
Friends Mutually help each other (to find strength in God)
