What are friends for?
(Romans 5:7) For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
More often than not our basis on whether or not a person is a ‘good friend’ is the contemplation of inevitable ensuing requirements that may be placed on us. As an example, money. If there would be any second-thought in furnishing someone that we call a friend with money, then the thought that they were a true friend would soon disappear in the contemplation and the subsequent unenthusiastic response they would receive. But, say, as an example, money. If there were no second-thoughts and to simply hand over a sizeable amount without any care or thought of reimbursement would in fact lean me in the direction of calling that person a true friend. It’s not confusing in the least. For if I admire someone as much as to call them a friend, then would I cancel that friendship over something so trifling as money or other possessions? Yet, is the feeling reciprocal? You would, I think, know it in your heart, wouldn’t you?
What are friends, and what are they to me that I would allow them to extravagantly consume my life’s precious free moments [not that it is an important life to begin with]? It is difficult to describe as friends don’t come with a price tag affixed to their ear, for they are indeed priceless. Friends don’t come with a ‘how to handle’ tag sewn into their soul. Yet, I’ve taken and thrown caution to the friend and laid out some prerequisites, and not casually either, but only with sincere deliberation of those my life has been privileged to be influenced.
Mind that these are things that are never mentioned with the concerned over the warmth of the open hearth, or the slow walk in the park. These are things that not even the casual leaning against a fencepost, or the comfort of the barber’s chair will solicit. These are things that are felt so deeply that they bring to the surface of the soul only a slight ripple of agreement, only a slight nod of knowing acquiescence.
Someone for me to talk to
Is it reciprocal? I might ask, and if I had to ask then yet again I would remind myself that to begin the asking begins the doubting. It is a knowing without the asking. It is an understanding without ever the benefit of the learning.
A true friend knows how to listen, and at the appropriate time will interject a thought, or a question, or any of a hundred other ‘active listening’ acknowledgements. Yes, a true friend is someone that sits across from me, patiently listening. A true friend is there for me to talk to, to tell my troubles to without fear of a pointing or accusing finger, or even the fear of starting a gossip ‘gulley-washer.’
Nothing is too silly or too stupid when talking with a true friend, is there? Nah! A true friend is someone to talk to, never mind the subject. And, I know that we are true friends because yes, it is reciprocal.
Someone to counsel me
What are friends for? The true friend is there to help you and provide counsel to you. For, who knows you better than a true friend? A true friend also will not hesitate to praise you at your pinnacle or to reprove you for something ill said. The Bible gives us an excellent vision of that in Proverbs:
(Proverbs 27:6) Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Someone to help me, when I’m sick or afraid
I would not want to contract anything and undergo a lengthy stay in any ‘care’ facility without a true friend. Suffice it to say I’ve seen an eyeful of those that ‘confined’ themselves to the hospital because there was no one to attend to them outside of hospital staff. They were indeed ‘confined’ in more ways than one. No one to help their wheelchair to follow the warmth of the sun. No one to draw the curtains or adjust the pillow. A sad picture of a sad state of being.
A true friend will know when to help. A true friend will feel your discomfort and help you to follow the warmth of the sun, or even to block it out entirely with the curtains. Yes, a true friend will know and accommodate.
A true friend will know and accommodate, and lovingly endeavor to alleviate your overwhelming fears before they worsen. Could you ever dream of not having a friend to know and assail your fears before they impale you?
Someone to laugh with me, or, cry with me
Good friends are what giggles are made for. Giggles are when you begin to laugh simply because you are happy that the other person is laughing. To have someone to laugh with breathes life into laughter. Yes, you are right, human beings can laugh when they are alone, but, it defies the best reason for laughter: sharing amusement with another, preferably a close friend.
They say that laughter is good for the soul. Yet, the fact of having someone to laugh with me is more important than the very laughter that remedies my ailing spirit. Laughter that is brought forth when I’m by myself is simply empty of life, and soon forgotten. However, laughter shared with a good friend builds memories that well-up during arid spells of loneliness.
And there’s more. There always is more with a close friend. A friend will cry with you. Maybe not outwardly, but they are your kindred spirit and will feel your pain deep from within them and know that their presence is needed to comfort you.
Someone to lift me up, when I’m down
Kind words, yeah. But there’s more. There’s comfort in a friend. A true friend will lift up, pick up, and hold up. Because, well, sometimes it’s difficult to get up out of bed, or to go to work, or to face a family member, or to make a hard decision. True friends are the parachute that saves me from plummeting to my expected emotional death on the rocks of despair and self-pity. And, confusing this metaphor even more, they are the jet pack that can help you to stop, and soar above those rocks, even high above.
Kind words, yeah. Those words, usually not spoken well, or even confused with their own emotions, reach deep inside and lay hold of my heart’s key and wind me back up, energizing me for the many trials ahead.
Someone to simply sit with quietly and watch [anything]
And yes, someone to simply sit with quietly and watch, well anything, defines a true friend. Whether it is a remarkable sunset or a less than remarkable expressway full of cars, these are times when countless unspoken words are exchanged. A true friend knows the importance of one another’s quietude. The generous information that this tranquility and peacefulness affords fills countless vaults of memory. Wonderful visions that can be readily drawn on much later when times are wrinkled and remembering is cumbersome.
Someone to die for
Yet for this true friend would you give your life? Perhaps you should rethink the categorization before you answer too quickly. Perhaps you should redraw the line in the sand, I mean what is friendship that a true friend would ask one to die for him or her? But, who or what are you that they would even have to ask? Yes, a true friend is one to die for.
Summary
What are friends for? There are lot’s of ways to describe friends, but there is no better to describe something than to sing a song or hymn about it.
Title: What a friend we have in Jesus
Text: Joseph M. Scriven, 1820-1886
Music: Charles C. Converse, 1832-1918
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he’ll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.
