The 25th chapter of First Samuel tells the story of two vastly different approaches to being a man.
One is rewarding and the other ruinous. One is admirable and the other despicable. One is to be repeated and the other repudiated.
To this day most men fall into one of the two categories exemplified by either David or Nabal.
Either a man’s life is lived with love and dedication for others, as in the case of the shepherd-warrior David, or his life is wasted in selfishishness and ill-will toward others, as was the life of Nabal.
Meet the mean man of Maon:
"There was a wealthy man from Maon who owned property near the village of Carmel. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and it was shearing time. This man’s name was Nabal, and his wife, Abigail, was a sensible and beautiful woman. But Nabal, a descendant of Caleb, was mean and dishonest in all his dealings." (1 Samuel 25:2-3, NLT)
How did a "sensible and beautiful woman" like Abigail wind up with such a schmo? It might just be that once upon a time he was actually a nice guy. Perhaps success went to his head as is very often the case with the male ego.
Men, one of the biggest mistakes we can ever make is to get too big for our britches. Try your best to improve on the good and godly qualities you possess. Always be grateful to God for His blessings. Don’t ever forget others and their needs. Remember to be courteous no matter how "important" you have become.
This was Nabal’s downfall.
"When David heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep, he sent ten of his young men to Carmel. He told them to deliver this message.
"Peace and prosperity to you, your family, and everything you own. I am told that you are shearing your sheep and goats. While your shepherds stayed among us near Carmel, we never harmed them, and nothing was ever stolen from them. Ask your own servants, and they will tell you this is true. So would you please be kind to us, since we have come at a time of celebration? Please give us any provisions you might have on hand."
David’s young men gave this message to Nabal and waited for his reply." (1 Samuel 25:4-9, NLT)
The response was not at all polite. Nabal sarcastically refused David’s request and even slandered his reputation.
"’Who is this fellow David?" Nabal sneered. "Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their masters. Should I take away my bread and water and meat I’ve slaughtered for my shearers and give it to a band of outlaws who come from who knows where?"
So David’s messengers returned and told him what Nabal had said. (1 Samuel 25:10-12, NLT)
Here it was a celebratory time of shearing, a time of plenty, and Nabal hoards every ounce of success God has given him, disregarding the very fact that David and his men had helped assure that very success by protecting his flocks from marauders.
David’s approach to him was characterized by courtesy, a benchmark of the proper role model for men. The future king of Israel had a superior military force and could have easily made mincemeat of Nabal’s servants. Instead he behaved like a gentleman and requested a sensible and easily affordable compensation for the efforts of his men to protect Nabal’s shepherds and flocks.
Good character is especially put to the test in difficult times - and David and his forces were definitely suffering great need as they fled the vengeful hand of wicked King Saul. All they asked was food enough to sustain them in their flight - and they asked politely.
Successful Nabal cold-heartedly refused. It’s not that his success is not admirable. It’s great to see men and women achieve their goals in business and professional life. God ordained blessings to those who, through hard work and innovative efforts, experience accomplishment.
But our success is never meant to be just for us.
God’s Word instructs us to "Be honest and work hard, so you will have to give to people in need." (Ephesians 4:28b, CEV)
Was Nabal, like so many men in today’s culture, mimicking a macho image portrayed by society around him? As we’ve already seen in verse 3, the Bible says he was "mean and dishonest". What makes a man mean? What hardens a man’s heart so much that all he has room for is himself? A very lonely existence by the way.
Has someone in your past kicked you when you were down? Are you tempted to return that treatment in kind to others? Don’t yield to such foolishness. It takes a real man to treat others fairly, honestly and generously - especially if he himself has not always been treated that way.
We men are so competitive that sometimes we forget to temper our performance with consideration for others.
David’s suffering at the hands of King Saul could not have been more unjust. Yet he never lifted a finger against Saul’s reign. To the contrary - he was always careful to give every indication of willful loyalty to God’s anointed.
"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable." (Romans 12:17, NLT)
David lived this New Covenant precept thousands of years before it was written. The law of God was in his heart.
Nabal’s heart, on the other hand, was wicked.
When his wife Abigail learned of his refusal to honor David’s request she immediately sent messengers to rectify the situation. She even told David,
"I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please don’t pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests." (1 Samuel 25:25, NLT)
What had Nabal gained in life when his own wife had this to say about him? How sad. How tragic.
But the tragedy doesn’t end there.
Abigail’s mediation and provision of supplies stayed the hand of David from putting a major whipping on Nabal. (1 Samuel 25:14-35) But God on the other hand does not stay his hand of judgment against this despicable and pitiful example of a man.
"When Abigail returned home, she found that Nabal had thrown a big party and was celebrating like a king. He was very drunk, so she didn’t tell him anything about her meeting with David until the next morning.
"The next morning when he was sober, she told him what had happened. As a result he had a stroke, and he lay on his bed paralyzed. About ten days later, the LORD struck him and he died." (1 Samuel 25:36-38)
A lot of men are paralyzed because they have chosen to follow the Nabal model of manhood. Their relationships are paralyzed, their joy and fulfillment in life are paralyzed, and most importantly, their connection to God is paralyzed.
They come down to the end of their lives with nothing to show for their selfishness and egotism other than the scars of a broken heart and the discipline of the Almighty.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
God in His great love for us offers a choice. We can change the way we do business. We can treat others like Jesus would treat them. After all, David was a type of Christ, an example of the life of God’s love lived out in the existence of a human soul.
The rewards for this acceptable model of manhood are great. Nabal died but David went on to become king. He didn’t have to rise to the throne by stepping on others. His success was realized by unselfishness and a desire to put God first in his life - true traits of manhood the way God meant for it to be lived out.
By the way, what happened to Abigail, Nabal’s beautiful and sensible widow?
She married David. (1 Samuel 25:42)
