I don’t like confrontation - especially with people who I know have ulterior motives and are trying to trip me up and get the best of me. I get obsessed about it - and it makes my stomach churn. I’m sure Jacob was feeling some of those feelings as he thought about Laban - who at every turn cheated Jacob. But instead of confronting him, Jacob decides that his best option is simply to leave. Sometimes that is our best option as well.
If you are in a situation that you are not going to be able to change - perhaps in a church where you just don’t agree with the leadership - sometimes its better to switch than fight. So Jacob takes his family and leaves for home. What he doesn’t know is that confrontation is going to happen anyway.
No matter how Laban tried to get the best of Jacob - because God was on his side, everything he did prospered. Once Laban tips his hand to Jacob - that he fully intends to take everything by force and leave Jacob with nothing - Jacob realizes that it’s time to leave.
Laban is Jacob unredeemed. It’s as if God is showing Jacob what he would have turned into had he not given his life to the Lord. What a great mirror and encouragement to Jacob to see how God was shaping his character.
Verses 1 - 3
Laban’s sons were obviously jealous of Jacob’s prosperity. What they said simply wasn’t true - but a false allegation, made strongly enough, can seem true - or you can make yourself believe it in order to justify just about any action.
That poison reached Laban, who started treating Jacob badly.
Prior to this - in all the times that Laban tried to or actually cheated Jacob, God did not tell him to leave - and Jacob stayed put. Now God says "its time to go."
There really is a time to stick out bad situations, even if it seems you are being treated unfairly - and there are times to pack up and leave. The difference isn’t the situation, but God’s direction. So that really should encourage us to pray for that leading all the time!
Verses 4 - 9
So Jacob calls his wives to a secret conclave out in the field - away from prying ears and eyes. It seems that Laban had done more than was recorded - and kept changing the terms of their agreement so it would benefit Laban.
Notice the patience that has been worked into Jacob.
Verses 10 - 14
Jacob relates just how God told him to leave. Notice - God points out that He is the source of Jacob’s prosperity. God did it because He saw what Laban was doing. God sees the injustice - but He prospered Jacob within a bad situation - why? Because at Bethel Jacob gave his life to the Lord - and it was that relationship that allowed God to bless him.
God sees the hurt the world, the enemy, and other people do to us. If we have a relationship with His Son Jesus Christ, then God will make us prosper in difficult times as well.
It will be like Jacob’s son Joseph will say:
Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
And much later, the Apostle Paul:
Philippians 4:12-13 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
The secret is reliance on God’s provision - not the world or it’s illusory riches. Possessions and trickery were all that Laban had. Jacob had God and nothing else mattered.
Verses 14 - 16
Laban has cheated his own daughters as well. Jacob didn’t have a bride price for them, so he worked it off over 14 years - but apparently Laban took that away from them as well.
Notice that they said "he treats us as foreigners." As long as Laban had them, he treated them with disdain. The moment he risks losing them suddenly he is father of the year.
The world is that way too. It will eat you up and spit you out as long as you are captive to its ways. Once you proclaim your freedom in Christ and don’t model your life any more after worldly patterns - suddenly you are wanted. It’s all a trick.
Verses 17 - 18
So basically they just pack up and leave. I guess it was good after all that Laban put three days journey between them. He did it in order to cheat Jacob - but it turns out for Jacob’s good.
Verses 19 - 21
Rachael either had the idol already, or made a side trip to get it. We’ve got two "deceptions" here - one is godly, the other is fleshly. Laban isn’t told either about Rachael taking the household idol, or that Jacob is leaving.
Jacob not telling Laban was a discourtesy, but it was not theft. And he did it in obedience to God. Rachael should have had nothing to do with that idol - it represented her father’s religion. Perhaps Rachael was hedging her bets in case the local gods were helping to make Jacob prosper. Or perhaps she just couldn’t let go of the past.
Remember that when they found mandrakes that Rachael used them to try to get pregnant - a superstitious and occult practice. So its really not that Rachael even necessarily has a relationship with Yahweh at this point.
Anyway - its this act of the flesh that causes the big ruckus and gives Laban the excuse he needs to accuse Jacob.
Trying to take the flesh along will always cause you problems and give the enemy the ability to accuse you. It’s like starting up a boat motor and taking off without hauling up the anchor - you’re going to pull hard and not go very far. For Christians it would be like going to church and asking God to lead your life then coming home and sitting down at the Ouija Board to decide what to have for lunch.
By the way - this may just be me, but is it possible that Israel’s problem with idolatry, which plagued the nation for centuries - started here?
Verses 22 - 24
God gave Jacob a three day head start - but he’s moving much slower than Laban. It could have been over very quickly but God is not about to let the ancestor of the Messiah get hurt so Jacob isn’t the only one whom God visits in a dream.
God tells Laban not to say anything good or bad. Laban is going to speak - but maybe what God was saying was "don’t do anything to him - don’t lure him with false promises and don’t threaten or harm him in any way or you are a dead man!"
We know that Laban worshiped idols and used them to try to get his way. You can manipulate idols (or so people think) but you can’t manipulate God.
Verses 25 - 30
(25) There is some controversy over where this event is supposed to have taken place - basically that Jacob couldn’t have gotten the 300 miles to Gilead in the time allotted - but we won’t focus on that. Suffice it to say that Laban, at 150 years old and needing time to prepare to the chase - didn’t reach Jacob for a while.
(26-28) Laban accuses Jacob of deceit - something that was in the old man - but this time God told Jacob to leave. It’s just like the enemy to try to accuse us of doing something we used to be prone to - even when we are obeying God.
You can’t argue the enemy down - you an only rely on God to forgive, save, and direct you.
Laban here acts like he is the best father and grandfather on the planet - but we already know from what his daughters said that this is only posturing. He will do anything - as will the enemy, to keep you from following God’s will. "You carried my daughters off like prisoners of war" - obviously he didn’t know his daughters very well.
"If you follow Jesus it’s going to hurt your family - they won’t want to have anything to do with you because they will label you as a fanatic - and God can’t be pleased if you hurt your family." That kind of thing.
(30) Even now Laban can’t see anything in his behavior - he says Jacob is homesick as the reason he is leaving. But then he adds the final blow - the accusation about the stealing of the household gods.
These were little stone idols - some suggest in the shape of a man, others in some grotesque shape - but they were thought to add prosperity to the household.
Verses 31 - 32
Jacob correctly states the case as to the reason he is leaving - and not knowing what had happened, was condemning his beloved wife to death.
Verses 33 - 35
Maybe this is why Jacob was attracted to Rachael - she is a pretty good deceiver herself.
So when Laban comes out empty handed - Jacob really lets loose on him - built up from 20 years of abuse, I’m sure.
Verses 36 - 42
So watch what this finally does - this dose of truth brings out the truth in Laban, finally. We too need to speak the truth - God’s Word - to the enemy. "It is true that I’m a sinner, but Jesus bought me and I belong to Him and if it weren’t for Him you’d trounce me all over the place."
Laban finally admits what Jacob suspected all along - that all the deals, the wages, even the marriages - were a sham. Laban never intended on giving them to Jacob - and if Jacob had stuck around Laban would have found some way to cheat him out of all of it.
Verses 43 - 44
You can just see the frustration in Laban - he really thinks he has been wronged - but he also realizes the power of the One who spoke in the dream. So in the end he makes an agreement with Jacob.
Verses 45 - 55
The erecting of a pillar was thought in those days to be asking that the gods look over the agreement that is being made. Laban called on his pagan gods which had no real power - Jacob calls on God. Both names mean the same thing - Laban’s in Chaldeean, and Jacob in Hebrew - meaning "heap of witness."
Laban wanted Jacob to promise to take care of his daughters. "I can’t be there but I want God to bring you to account." They also were boundary markers. Laban knew he couldn’t get along with Jacob (and was probably afraid of him because of God) so he put a boundary between them.
So they shared a meal and both went on their separate ways.
Conclusions
God continues to work on Jacob - peeling away the flesh and forcing him to rely again and again on God.
Here he must make a decision - stay and try to win out over the world - or obey God, care for his family, and leave. Jacob was used to looking out for himself - now he must be selfless.
Then he had to stand up to the enemy. Last time he ran away (from Essau) but now you can see the power of the Lord working through him.
Finally he took a stand for God. When Laban was calling the shots on this "agreement" Jacob called on the Lord.
The final piece of transformation takes place in the next chapter: The destruction of pride.
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