Firestorms in Life
Thesis: Firestorms in relationships can ignite quickly and do maximum damage in a short period of time. Therefore, we need to learn how to prevent firestorms, we need to learn how to put out firestorms, and we need to know how to rebuild after a firestorm has scorched our lives.
Video Illustration: Clips are taken from Ladder 49 showing the danger of firestorms and even how firestorms can destroy your life. They can collapse the ground underneath you and send your life into a downward tail spin. The idea behind these clips is to emphasize the danger of firestorms in life. If they are not prevented or extinguished they will cause maximum damage in a short period of time which could take years to rebuild. The firestorms we are looking at today have to deal with turbulent relationships which are ignited and set ablaze in the church and in peoples relationships with others. They do have the possibility of getting so out of control that a person can lose their life in the middle of a raging firestorm.
Introduction:
My Story: The Day of the fire storm!
I was at Boy Scout Camp when I discovered the terrible damage a fire storm could do to my life. It was a lazy afternoon very hot and dry. John and I were sent back to camp to start dinner for the guys. When I got back to camp I discovered that the camp fire looked as if it had gone out. So I decided to rebuild the fire to get it ready for our meal. So I gathered fire wood and placed it on the coals and tried to get it to burn. It would not start so I decided to pour some Kerosene on the wood figuring it would help get the fire started sooner so that John and I could start dinner sooner for the troop. So I poured the Kerosene on the wood and all of a sudden the fire ignited. It then traveled up the liquid and into the can I was holding in my hand. Within seconds the can exploded in my hand sending burning Kerosene streaming in every direction and most of the burning fuel landed on my lower right leg and it burst into flames.
It was so surreal I looked down as the heat started piercing through to my leg and I began screaming. I was 12 years old and my leg was burning out of control. I screamed for help and through myself to the ground. I began to roll and roll and the more I rolled the more the ground burst into flames around me. I rolled into a tent it caught on fire. I was screaming because of the pain and crying out for help. I started thinking this is it I am going to burn to death and right at that moment another Boy Scout came to my rescue. John had a blanket in his hand and he grabbed me and wrapped it around my leg to put out the fire. Once he put out my leg he then proceeded to put out the tent and the burning ground around us.
I laid there in shock and disbelief and the horrible pain started getting worse. John held me and asked me to hang in there because he was going to get help. He ran like the wind for about a mile to the first aid head quarters in the park. I laid there all alone on the ground thinking, “Why did I do that!” then the thoughts crept in, “Is this it!” It seemed as if I laid for ever.
The Rangers came and the troop leaders came as fast as they could. They cut my jeans off and started cleaning out my badly burned leg. As they pulled the blanket off of my leg part of my jeans and burnt flesh came off with it. I screamed in pain. I heard one man get sick and throw up and another say, “Oh my Lord!” I was burned from my ankle to just above the knee. I still remember the awe full smell rising up off my leg. All I could do was moan and cry because of the excruciating pain inflicted from this fire. All I could do was keep asking questions, “What happened?” “Where did the fire come from?” “Why did this happen to me?” I was stunned by how quickly I had caught on fire.
It took the troop leaders 4 hours before they finally got me to a hospital. It was a horrible 4 hour trip from the mountains to the hospital. As I rode in a truck I just moaned as my driver a Boy Scout leader just encouraged me to hang in there, I remember he turned his Air Conditioning on to the floor section so that cold air could blow onto my leg. My flesh was hanging off and I was wishing for a miracle as I looked at my deformed leg. I thought this could not be my leg. When we arrived at the hospital the doctors started to work on my leg immediately. They cleaned it up and put salve on it then wrapped with burn wrap.
My mom showed up at the hospital in tears asking, “What happened?” The doctors informed my mom that I had second and third degree burns on the lower half of my leg. I remember the doctor telling her the importance of making sure that she made sure that my leg did not become infected. So daily she would clean my leg off. I would not look at my leg – my mom said it looked horrible almost like hamburger. But eventually I did heal. I often think about that day. It is etched into my memory forever. It was the painful day that I became the victim of a fire storm.
I learned a few lessons that day that I will never forgot, “Do not put Kerosene on hot coals!” The biggest lesson I learned that day. I also learned not to be careless with fire. I discovered the hard way that fire is hot and it burns very quickly and it does maximum damage in short amount of time. The firestorm I experienced lasted for minutes but caused major damage to my leg and it took months to heal. I still have scars on my lower leg from that fire storm. It reminds me as I look at that scar the danger of fire storms.
Last month I read a book called Firestorms for my Master’s Program. The author is Susek and in it he talks about the destruction and the damage that firestorms can do to a church, an organization or even a family unit. He shared true to life horror stories of Christians acting like raging firestorms and leaving a path of destruction in churches, in communities, in families and in individual lives.
He shared the tragic stories to warn us pastors and to encourage us pastors to make sure that we teach our people how to prevent firestorms in their relationships, how to put fires out quickly in relationships, and even how to rebuild relationships after a firestorm.
Susek in Firestorms quoted Dr. Robert who said, “No church is more than twenty-four hours away from a major conflict breaking out. In less than a year, it can destroy years of hard work and growth” (12)
He spoke about the danger and the ferocity of firestorms. He warned us that once a firestorm ignites it causes damage quickly to the surrounding terrain and races off to burn up what ever is in its path. They move fast and quickly across the landscape burning everything up in sight. They are dangerous and destructive. They have even been known to be brief but so intense that they cause maximum loss in a short period of time. So we need to learn how to become fire fighters if we want to preserve our family relationships, our friendship relationships, our church relationships, our community relationships and our individual relationships.
Firestorms come in many forms and can ignite in any type of a situation. Lets take a moment and observe a firestorm between a parent and a teen.
DVD Illustration from Illustrate Volume 1 - Parent and Teen Struggle clip- This scene reveals how firestorms can ignite over any issue and at any place.
Scripture Text: James 3
1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
T.S. - We need to develop and mature in Christ so that we know how to prevent firestorms in our lives, we need to know how to put firestorms out when they ignite and we need to know how to rebuild after a firestorm has scorched our lives. So lets first of all look at how to prevent firestorms.
I. How do you prevent firestorms from igniting in your life and in your relationships?
a. Accept others for who they are!
i. Acceptance of others is the best way to go through life with minimal risk of firestorms.
1. Many decide to go through life fighting their way through situations and even relationships causing one firestorm after another.
a. Their lives become filled with frustrations, anger and bitterness as a result of this approach to life.
2. But for us to accept something it means that you believe it has value and is therefore worth something.
a. Acceptance is the act or action of giving something or someone value.
i. I really believe many marriage problems arise because the other person does not value or accept the other in the relationship.
ii. We have some friends in Fosston who have been married for about 30 years. I remember we were talking one day about how they got along so well and had a great marriage. I remember Avis saying along with Jim that they get along and have a good relationship because they both learned to accept the other for who they were and they quit trying to change them for what they wanted.
3. Acceptance also has a lot to do with how we look at other people not just our spouses.
a. We need to understand that everyone matters to God and we need to accept everyone around us in life.
i. Romans 15:7: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
b. I learned years ago that everyone I meet on a daily basis matters to God. I have often sat in a mall or in a public place and reminded myself that everyone walking by me matters to God. And since they all matter to God then I should make sure they matter to me.
c. So let me ask you a question: Do you look at others and say, “They matter to God therefore I need to accept them.” Or “Do you discard other people as annoyances in life?”
ii. Accepting others goes deeper than just looking at someone and saying they matter to God, it really has a lot to do with what we say about or too that individual as well.
1. Note James 3:1- 12:
a. James tells us that we need to seek to guard our tongues. They are usually the spark that ignites the firestorms in our relationships.
i. So if we do not keep our tongues in check toward others then we are igniting a firestorm.
ii. Remember firestorms seek to burn, scorch, singe and destroy others.
iii. This tongue of ours is the most powerful force in the world I believe. It can either ignite firestorms or it can put them out. But many use it to ignite the firestorms in life we all face.
b. From Stories for Preachers: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin comments: Over the past decade, whenever I have lectured throughout the country on the powerful, and often negative, impact of words, I have asked audiences if they can go for twenty-four hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, anybody. Invariably, a minority of listeners raise their hands signifying "yes," some laugh, and quite a large number call out, "no!" I respond by saying, "Those who can’t answer ’yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you cannot go for twenty-four hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. If you cannot go twenty-four hours without a drink, you’re most likely an alcoholic. Similarly, if you cannot go for twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue."
2. Proverbs 10:18-21: “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.”
a. Our tongues are usually the number one cause of why we are always fighting firestorms in our lives.
b. If our tongues are out of control they just keep burning people up rather than building people up and this has the tendency to increase the stress and the pressure in just living.
c. This type of lifestyle creates angry and bitter people not righteous and loving people.
iii. We must become wise in learning how to deal with our current weather conditions in our relationships.
1. Firestorms in nature are predictable by certain weather patterns. The same is true when it comes to firestorms involving relationships. They are predictable to a degree by the weather pattern they have been in for a while
2. James 3: 5 tells us, “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”
a. When there is dry, barren timber with no refreshing rain from Heaven then a forest becomes ripe for a fire to ignite.
b. Therefore we must accept the fact that one spark can immediately ignite a hot firestorm.
i. We soon discover that when one ignites and rages they burn quick-hot and do a lot of damage in short period of time.
c. I remember on day driving up to Ely Minnesota to preach at a church. I came a cross a 1,000 acres which had caught fire and burned the day before. I remember the news reporter say that the spark came from one carelessly thrown cigarette. That little spark caused a raging forest fire within minutes and it cost us 1,000 acres of lush vegetation. The sad fact was it would take that forest years to recover from that one small spark.
i. The same is also true in relationships.
ii. We must be aware of the condition of our relationships to make sure we are not about to set fire to the whole thing.
b. Adjusting in life is the key in preventing forest fires!
i. This becomes necessary when certain weather patterns form in our lives and in our relationships.
1. If your forest is dry and ready to ignite then it becomes imperative that you seek ways to water the ground.
ii. We need to seek to mature in our faith and learn to be like Jesus when it comes to dealing with our relationships.
1. We need to adjust first of all how we think about others.
a. So as a person thinks so they will act!
2. We then need to adjust to what we say about others.
a. We need to remember that carelessly placed words can ignite a forest fire that will do great damage in a short amount of time and it will take years to rebuild from that one small spark.
i. I have discovered in my marriage counseling that one small word can set a relationship back months or years from healing.
ii. The truth is every word you speak matters to god and it matters in relationships.
b. We all need to understand that put downs to others, slanderous remarks about others, lies about others, cynical remarks about others, disrespectful words toward others will just ignite a firestorm in those relationships.
3. Making simple adjustments in life can prevent a lot of firestorms in life.
a. Learn when not to speak
b. Learn when to speak
c. Learn when you need help in a relationship
d. Learn the importance of changing for others
e. Learn the value of a positive word and the destructive force of a negative word.
iii. I also believe we can adjust to the dry volatile conditions in relationships by asking God to send His healing rain.
1. We need to make sure that we experience rain from Heaven on a regular basis so that we don’t become dry, brittle and ready to explode into a firestorm in our life.
2. I think most people underestimate the importance of being under the gentle rains that come from being in God’s presence.
a. How do I know this because people do not come to church on regular basis and seek to experience the presence of God’s healing rain?
b. These times of refreshment will help prevent forest fires in our lives.
c. Appreciate others for their uniqueness helps to prevent firestorms!
i. This means we think well of people, we seek to understand them and to enjoy them.
ii. We need to learn to appreciate others and seek to understand them rather than just pronounce judgment on them.
1. Romans 14: 10-13: 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.’”
12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
iii. We must decide to appreciate others gifts and uniqueness and make a conscious choice to think well of others.
1. Philippians 4:8-9: 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
a. Learning to change the way you think about others can actually give you peace in your life.
b. Learning to think good of others can create a life where God is going to want to be with you.
c. Are you so negative in you thought life that even God does not want to be around you?
2. From Stories for Preachers: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin has proposed an annual "Speak No Evil" Day. It started on May 14, 1996. Senator Connie Mack (R-FL) and Joseph Lieberman (D-CT) have introduced a bipartisan resolution in the U.S. Senate that requires the co-sponsorship of fifty senators. This resolution would establish such a day, requesting that the President issue a proclamation calling on the American people to: -eliminate all hurtful and unfair talk for twenty-four hours; -transmit negative information only when necessary; -monitor and regulate how they speak to others; -strive to keep anger under control; -argue fairly, and not allow disputes to degenerate into name-calling or other forms of verbal abuse;-and speak about others with the same kindness and fairness that they wish others to exercise when speaking about them. A "Speak No Evil" Day would plant the seed of a more permanent shift in our consciousness. It would hopefully touch everyone--from journalists, politicians, activists, teachers, ministers, and businessmen to mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters.
a. I think we all need to decide to pick a day and
“Think No Evil” of others!
b. We need to decide to have a positive day rather than a negative day!
iv. Appreciate others personality and be glad they are not all like you.
1. We need to make the conscious choice to appreciate others even if they are different from us. Believe me if people were just like you and me we would not appreciate them very long.
v. Susek states, “Institutions ultimately rise and fall on the strength of relationships, when relationships are volatile, sparks can ignite firestorms” (30).
1. Remember once a firestorm ignites it will do damage and deep loses will occur quickly.
T.S. – We have learned how to prevent firestorms now lets learn how to put them out if one ignites in our life.
II. How do you put out a firestorm that has suddenly flared up in your life or in your relationships?
a. Don’t overreact!
i. James 3:13: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”
1. Remain calm do not overreact to the situation use wisdom.
2. Remain calm and do no use excessive force.
3. Remain calm and don’t run into a burning building because it may collapse on top of you.
4. Remain rational as you address the problem!
5. Don’t allow emotion to over rule reason.
6. Keep your fleshly behavior in check and under control.
ii. Ecclesiastes 10:12-14: “Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. At the beginning his words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness — and the fool multiplies words.”
b. Don’t under react to the firestorm.
i. Proverbs 3:21, 22: “My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.”
1. Some people go the other way when a firestorm erupts they just sit their and do nothing.
ii. Don’t just always take a wait and see attitude. Sometimes we do have to do something to put the fire out.
1. Proverbs 21:25: “The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work.”
iii. Accept that there is a problem and do not deny it but instead face it and then deal with it.
c. React to the firestorm appropriately is the key in firefighting 101.
i. Ecc. 7:16-18:
16 Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise—
why destroy yourself?
17 Do not be overwicked,
and do not be a fool—
why die before your time?
18 It is good to grasp the one
and not let go of the other.
The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.
ii. The key in this part of firefighting is to avoid the extremes and approach the fire with a balanced and wise mind set.
1. This means be level headed and balanced in your approach to the fire.
iii. To react to firestorms appropriately ask your self the following questions and then move in to put out the fire with the help of the Lord and others.
1. What would Jesus do in this situation?
2. How can I best glorify God by my actions?
3. Is my heart in the right position?
4. Do I want my children to watch me deal with fires like this?
5. Do I need to fast and prayer about my response?
6. Have I sought the counsel of a man or woman of God who is neutral to the situation?
7. What is the best way to put out this fire with minimal damage to others and the Kingdom of God.
T.S. – We have learned how to put a firestorm out if it ignites but we also need to know how to rebuild after a raging firestorm.
III. How do you rebuild after suffering from a firestorm in your life and in a relationship.
a. Learn the act of forgiveness!
i. Illustration from Stories for Preachers: A woman summoned for jury duty said to the Judge, "Your Honor, I can’t serve on a jury. I don’t believe in capital punishment." The judge said, "Ma’am, this isn’t a capital charge so that doesn’t matter. This is a case where a husband emptied out the wife’s savings account of $14,000 to take a three-day weekend with his girlfriend in Atlantic City." The woman said, "Okay, I’ll serve. And I could be wrong about capital punishment."
ii. James 3:14-18: “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”
1. We are promised that those who forgive and create peace will be blessed with right standing before God.
2. Those who chose not to forgive and instead take the path of bitterness will find disorder and evil controlling their lives.
iii. Proverbs 19:11: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”
1. Did you know you will be glorified one day if you learn to forgive others!
iv. Colossians 3: 13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
1. This is the best reason to forgive others. Why? Because God forgave you so we need to pass it on to others!
2. Illustration from Stories for Preachers: For Barry Rosen, the decision was the toughest one he has made in the past twenty years. He was being given the opportunity to come face to face with the man who held him and fifty other Americans hostage in Iran for 444 agonizing days in 1979. Rosen, then a press officer at the American Embassy in Tehran, shared a platform in Paris with Abbas Abdi, the Iranian revolutionary student leader and mastermind of the hostage takeover. The two men clasped hands and the American slapped his former captor on the back. Rosen said, "The past cannot be made to go away and shouldn’t but a new beginning can be made. Instead we must focus on building a better future which is unquestionably within our capabilities".
b. Learn the art and the wisdom of taking responsibility for your actions and even repenting when it is necessary.
i. Proverbs 14: 8-11: “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception. Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”
1. Proverbs tells us that it is wise to give thought to our ways.
2. It means we should evaluate if we have done something wrong and then if we have make amends for it.
ii. Apologies are a necessary part if we want to start the process of rebuilding after a firestorm.
1. 2 Peter 3: 9: “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
2. Do you need to repent? Then today is a good day to get a new beginning and to start the rebuilding process in your relationship with God and with others.
c. Don’t become legalistic toward others and use the blame game to justify your religious ways and lack of mercy for others.
i. Galatians 3:1-5:”You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?”
1. Paul attacked the legalistic Judaizers in this book because they were creating firestorms in the Christian world and in the process burning up all the healing power which Jesus had brought to the body of Christ through His death and resurrection.
a. They went around sowing seeds of deceit with the Jewish Christians refuting the very work of grace which Jesus brought to the world.
2. Paul tells these legalistic arsonists individuals that they are bewitched.
a. It means deceived by the forces of darkness.
b. It means charmed by the dark side.
3. Legalistic people like to keep throwing matches on to the burned up ground so as to get it to ignite all over again.
a. They love to see people get burnt and tortured by the firestorms.
b. They will even make comments like they deserved it.
c. The legalist or arsonist is one who loves to make people suffer by setting them on fire.
d. They love to throw gas onto a burning fire to see it explode into a bigger blaze.
e. They think that God even approves of their harsh – insensitive- destructive ways. But they need to go read 1 Corinthians 13 over about a 100 times to learn the ways of the Lord.
ii. Those stuck in the arsonist blame game will never have the energy or the time to rebuild their lives let alone rebuild a relationship.
1. Grace killers never rebuild any thing they just keep reigniting the charred timbers over and over until its utter destruction and hopelessness.
2. We are not to be like this but be willing to rebuild and to forgive. This is the way of the Lord and we must follow His example of how to live.
d. Don’t allow firestorms to erode away the burned up area because nothing is rebuilt or replanted in the area.
i. Rebuild right away and do not let the ground erode away.
1. A lesson from the wild fires in San Francisco back in the 90’s. It only took 72 hours to have utter destruction around San Francisco. When the ground was all burnt up and all the vegetation gone. It left the area exposed for more devastation. When the rains moved into the city once again disasters hit as the hillsides began to erode away. They loss many more homes to mud slides because nothing was replanted. So when the rains from a storm rolled in the mountains of dirt gave way.
2. It becomes important that after a firestorm that we rebuild our relationships because if we don’t then when more storms role in we experience more disasters in our lives.
ii. 1 Thess. 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...”
Conclusion:
Firestorms are a part of life and we need to make sure we know how to prevent them, how to put them out if they ignite and how to rebuild after one has blazed through your life.
