At church everyone is at their best behavior (most of the time) - hair combed, attitudes straight (after the argument in the car on the way). We come in and look and act so pious and pure.
But when does our real character reveal itself? At home - and sometimes on the job. Overbearing parents, rebellious children, cruel bosses and conniving employees. We think that as long as we’re not in church, God can’t care that much about what we say or do. "It’s business" after all - or "God doesn’t know how difficult it is to raise a child that is so obstinate." Well, He’s raising you, isn’t He?
As it turns out, God is very interested in affecting our behavior once we leave the doors of the church behind. In our most intimate and frustrating endeavors, He stubbornly wants to be Lord.
Last time we looked at husbands and wives - who are to mutually respect each other, and find complimentary roles that together provide a picture of the sacrificial love and endearing respect of Jesus Christ and His church.
Now Paul turns his attention to four groups of people: children, parents, workers and bosses. No group is left unscathed here.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
The word "obey" both in verse 1 and in verse 5 is the Greek word: "To hear under." This is a different word than is used in Chapter 5 referring to wives. That word is "to rank under."
It is the same word used to express obedience to the emperor (1 Peter 2:17) and toward Jesus and the Father (John 5:23).
The way the sentence is constructed, some kids might say "I should only obey my parents if they are Christians." In reality - the sentence could read: "Because you are a Christian you should obey your parents."
The word obey can also mean "to hearken." So the word is: "Kids - listen to your parents" - I think this is an especially good word for teenagers, don’t you?
"Children" refers to anyone born (as opposed to "son" or "little child.")
The commandment Paul refers to is found in Exodus 20:12. "Obey" and "Honor" or "respect" are two different things. While under the care of your parents you should "do what they say." But you should give them honor and respect for your whole life.
It is possible to obey without honoring - have you ever seen a child with clenched teeth and fists say "All right - I’ll do it."
Commentators have various views about verses 2 and 3. The fifth commandment is not the first, nor is the first with a promise - but the insertion of a comma after "first commandment" gives us some clarity. Paul in essence is agreeing with the Rabbis who indicated this commandment was the most important - and certainly it is the most important for children. The promise really suggests two things: one, that our ultimate well being comes from God - and that a loving nurturing family will only benefit both emotionally and even physically.
So how should we apply this today?
1. What is your source for a code of behavior?
Is it television sitcoms? Your friends? What you read in Teen 17 or Cosmo Girl? The movies?
Could you dare to let the Bible be your guide? If so, what does it say about children?
2. Children are special to the Lord
Luke 18:15-17 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
3. Listen to parents no matter what - but don’t imitate bad ones
Ezekiel 20:18 I said to their children in the desert, "Do not follow the statutes of your fathers or keep their laws or defile yourselves with their idols.
4. By obeying your parents you please God
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
5. You don’t have to be perfect - just open and respectful
Believe it or not, your parents do make mistakes - but, hey, so do you! You’ll find the more you invite your parents into your life the more understanding of you they will be.
(this is really a preview of the next section)
To sum up: children should: honor their parents, obey their instructions, and submit to their discipline and respect your elders (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 4:9, Hebrews 12:9, Leviticus 19:2)
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Exasperate means "to anger alongside." It comes from the root word for "violent passion" which is translated: anger, indignation, vengeance, wrath.
We need to know the line between discipline and punishment.
Hebrews 12:6 "The Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone He accepts as a son?God disciplines us for our good that we may share in His holiness."
We as parents need to raise our kids so that they will do better, not feel worse about themselves.
What’s the line? Learn to know the difference between a temper tantrum and striking back out of desperation.
Lead instead of drive - "bring up" = "to cherish or train" When your precious ’65 Mustang misfires do you take a sledge hammer to it? You clean out the rings and fool with the carburetor and the oxygen intake and the spark to help it run better.
Training - Education by training
Instruction - "to call attention to" (mild rebuke)
We need to explain (and pattern) what’s right and call attention to what’s wrong
Notice that this instruction is to fathers. Yes, that’s what it is in Greek too. It doesn’t mean that parents aren’t equally involved, but somehow God holds the dad’s accountable.
Now let’s turn to the workplace
5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
Slaves is the word "dulos" which means a slave whether voluntary or involuntary. The slave class in the Roman empire consisted of a majority of the population. It is not the same thing as slaves were in American history. Indentured servant might be a better way to describe them. Luke, for instance, would have been considered a slave even though he was a doctor. So analogous in today’s society might be workers - you and me - people who "comes to work and brings my lunch."
Obey here is the same word: "to hear under." Do what your boss tells you. Okay - if we don’t we’ll get fired. But there is much more to it:
Respect, fear, and sincerity of heart. These days the words "business" and "ethics" are thought to be antonyms. Corporate scandal has tarnished the image of most companies and many bosses - they are all suspect. Yet Paul tells to treat them with respect, sincerity of heart and even fear.
Sincerity means "singleness of heart" so we shouldn’t have ulterior motives for obeying - maybe just so we can get that raise or the corner office.
Respect and fear really go together and could be translated: respect and obey (not the "waiting for the whip" kind of fear).
The key in verse 5 is: "as you would obey Christ." Have an attitude at work to obey your boss because you’d obey what Jesus tells you to do.
Now - does this mean if they tell you to break the law or disobey Christ you should do it? Obviously not. Peter in Acts 4 said "judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God" when they told them not to share Jesus name anymore.
On the other hand - do you have the right then to stand on your desk and preach hellfire and brimstone all day long? No. We need to fit into the culture as Christians - take opportunities God gives us to share the gospel, but also to contribute to the workplace.
6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
Don’t make your obedience a show for when the boss is around - but make it a service to the Lord - because He is your ultimate boss and He is watching. I like that we will be rewarded for good we do at work.
I once had a boss who I loathed - and he deserved it. But my attitude towards him stunk. Eventually the Lord convicted me and I really started to bless and serve this guy - and you know what? Not only did my attitude change - but so did his!
So instead of grumbling - find ways to bless your boss, pray for him or her - and tell them. Remember that you serve God first at your job.
Serve "wholeheartedly" means "with pleasure." Think about Joseph in prison.
Now bosses don’t get a "pass" here at all:
9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
The word "masters" is really "owners" and really meant owners of slaves. While contextually it is different from the analogy to bosses today - the same values apply.
"treat your slaves in the same way" could be rendered "give your slaves due consideration." They are not to be treated as "less-thans."
Threaten means to promise punishment. There is a way to supervise people that is demeaning, overbearing, unfair, and unfeeling. Don’t be that way! Why? Because you have a boss too - the Lord. Treat your employees like the Lord treats you. It doesn’t mean you don’t manage, instruct, even correct - but its done in gentleness and love - not arbitrary power displayed because "I’m the boss."
God has no favoritism. Doesn’t play favorites - judges everyone by the same standard. The Lord doesn’t play favorites - so don’t you either. You as the boss are not more important to God as the lowest paid staff member.
Conclusions
Act like Christ in everything
I know this seems obvious - but if you think about it - applying the Jesus’ character principal to home and work covers all these things. It ought to always be in the back of our minds - if Jesus were in my shoes, how would He handle this?
Respect & Lead
Those are really the bottom line principals here - if you are working for someone or are someone’s child - give respect for the job that your parent or boss must accomplish.
If you’re a parent or boss - lead, don’t drive. Serve as an example of Jesus, don’t demand to be served.
You are always "on"
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that God doesn’t see what happens in the workplace or when the doors are closed at home. He is watching and evaluating you all the time.
Being like Him is more important than any other goal or role you have.
For more Bible studies and an audio copy of this message, please visit:
www.CalvaryChapelNewberg.org.
