Just like the people in our game had some serious growth issues - so do we! We know from learning about being purpose driven and living life with a purpose that God calls us to GROW. The problem is that we don’t always know HOW to grow and we don’t do a very good job of it on our own. Today, were going to talk about GROWING BETTER TOGETHER.
As we go through 40 Days of Community together, we are working our way through the book of Philippians. Let’s look at today’s passage from chapter 2 verses 12 through 30.
SCRIPTURE: Philippians 2:12-30
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
Phil 2:13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Phil 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing,
Phil 2:15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe
Phil 2:16 as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Phil 2:17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.
Phil 2:18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
Phil 2:19 I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you.
Phil 2:20 I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare.
Phil 2:21 For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.
Phil 2:22 But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.
Phil 2:23 I hope, therefore, to send him as soon as I see how things go with me.
Phil 2:24 And I am confident in the Lord that I myself will come soon.
Phil 2:25 But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.
Phil 2:26 For he longs for all of you and is distressed because you heard he was ill.
Phil 2:27 Indeed he was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow.
Phil 2:28 Therefore I am all the more eager to send him, so that when you see him again you may be glad and I may have less anxiety.
Phil 2:29 Welcome him in the Lord with great joy, and honor men like him,
Phil 2:30 because he almost died for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up for the help you could not give me.
You might be wondering right now what this passage has to do with GROWING, but stick with me and think will all learn a thing or two. The first this that we can learn is that…
Point 1: We help each other grow by…
. . . APPRECIATING each other
In this particular passage, Paul does a lot of appreciating. He really takes some time here to appreciate Timothy and Epaphroditus for all that they do.
Before we get too far, I want to talk about that word – appreciate. Can anyone tell me what the word “appreciate” means?
• Be thankful for
• Tell someone that you’re glad they’re your friend
• To increase in value
Have you ever thought about how the word ‘appreciate’ means to increase in value? What about when we appreciate each other – we increase their value! When we tell someone that we appreciate them, we’re raising their value. Let me explain it this way:
• Becky and I bought a house in 2000. We got it for a really good price – because it was in need of a lot of work! We put a lot of time and energy into that house. We remodeled the kitchen, the baby’s room, the dining room, the bathroom, we put in a furnace, we tore out two old chimneys, we put on a new roof… holy cow, did we do a lot to that house. And we only lived there for 2 years! When we sold that house, we sold it for about $15,000 MORE than what we paid for it. It went UP in value, because we INVESTED in it. We put our time and energy and effort into that house and it went up in value as a result. In the same way, when you invest in other people, they grow in value. They feel better about themselves, better about your relationship and are more motivated to continue to excel in the areas where you encourage them. Appreciating others helps them grow!
One great way to do this is within your small group. What better way to deepen the relationships that you have in your group than by appreciating and encouraging each other! Let’s hear from someone who had a small group experience to share with us.
Testimony: (VIDEO)
Testimony about feeling accepted and appreciated by small group
Another way that we can help each other grow is by…
Point 2: We help each other grow by…
… Paying ATTENTION to each other
Here’s another great principle of growth – We grow better together by paying ATTENTION to each other. How many of you have ever had a goldfish? How about a hamster? How about a plant? What happens if you ignore those things? THEY DIE!!
Really, if you think about it –this just makes sense.
• If you pay attention to your garden it grows!
• If you pay attention to your grades –they get better-they grow!
• If you pay attention to your friendships-they grow!
• If you pay attention to your basketball skills-they grow!
The one area that this doesn’t work is with you hair. If you pay too much attention to your hair it just falls out! I guess Pastor Todd is just out of luck…
But really, this principle just makes sense. It is so simple, in fact, that we have to ask the question: “Why aren’t we any better at it than this?” Pastor Todd shared some interesting statistics with me that shed some light on that question. Listen to this:
The average American now watches TV and/or works or plays on the computer five to six hours a day. That works out easily to over 30 hours per week or 1,560 hours per year! That is the equivalent of spending 16 hours a day for 97 days straight doing nothing but staring at a television or computer screen!
Of course, night now my wife is sitting here thinking, “I can’t believe he’s saying this! I hope he’s listening to himself.” Boy, is this an area that I need to work on! Let’s face it, we are selfish people – okay, I am a selfish person – and when we can stop being so focused on ourselves and pay attention to each other - these relationships can really start to grow!!
Do you have any idea how much God wants you to grow? He pays so close attention to you that he knows EXACTLY how many hairs are on your head right now. He even knows the combined length of the fingernails on your left hand!
Here’s a challenge for you this week: open your eyes and look around you. Find someone that you can pay extra attention to. Maybe it’s someone you don’t usually talk to – a student at school who doesn’t have many friends. Or maybe it’s someone right under your nose-you brother or sister, or a good friend – someone who you need to pay attention to. Think about who that person might be and go out of your way this week to pay attention to them.
The 3rd way that we can help each other grow is by…
Point 3: We help each other grow by…
... Showing AFFECTION for each other
This is a great principle – we help each other grow by showing affection to one another. I’m talking about physical touch here. Now, of course, all the high school boys just perked up; “Did he say physical touch – that’s a good thing?! Cool!” I’m not talking about GROPING (that goes for husbands, too), I’m talking about APPROPRIATE PHYSICAL TOUCH.
I have to admit, that as a youth pastor one of the things that worries me the most about our society and how quick we are to go to court and sue someone and how it affects us in ministry. I know that kids are hurting, I see it all the time. I know that those kids need appropriate physical touch; a handshake, a hug, a pat on the back. But every time, I worry that a student could tell someone that I hugged them and it could be misunderstood and I could be in court because I tried to help lift someone’s spirits. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely in favor of prosecuting adults who abuse kids or touch them inappropriately, but I am saddened that we have to be so self-conscious about how we interact with each other. Here are some more statistics from Pastor Todd:
UCLA did a study a while back and discovered that to be a healthy, fulfilled, satisfied adult; you need 8-10 meaningful touches a day.
How many of you are getting cheated right now? I mean, really – who gets 8-10 touches a day?! People, we need to learn how to show each other affection – it is important to our survival and our growth.
Let’s look at Romans 12:10, “Love one another with brotherly affection as members of one family.”
Guess what? We are family! Let’s all sing it together, “We are family! I got all my sisters and me! We are family!” We need to love one another, and we do it by showing each other ‘brotherly affection.’ That means we touch each other with hugs, handshakes, pats on the back, etc.
I want to do that right now. Stand up and give three people an APPROPRIATE PHYSICAL TOUCH – and follow it with a word of encouragement.
The fourth – and maybe the most important point this morning is this:
Point 4: We help each other grow by…
… Being VULNERABLE with each other
If you want to see your community grow – if you’re in a small group, for example, there is no better way than to be vulnerable with each other. Now I know that VULNERABLE is a big word – who can tell me what it means to be vulnerable?
The dictionary definition of vulnerable is, “susceptible to physical or emotional injury.” We need to open our lives up to each other. We need o be willing to share things with each other that we don’t WANT to share. We need to share so deeply that we are opening ourselves up to emotional injury. You say, “But that just doesn’t make sense, Randy!” You’re right, it doesn’t make sense according to the world’s idea of looking out for number one. But God’s math is always different. The more we open up to each other and let each other know how we really feel, the deeper our relationships will be and the more we’ll grow.
Let me refer back to our scripture for today: in verse 28 Paul says, “Therefore I am all the more eager to send him, so that when you see him again you may be glad and I may have less anxiety.” Paul is being vulnerable here with the church. He is telling them that he’s got some anxiety about himself, Timothy and Epaphroditus all being away from the church in Phillipi. Ephesians 4:25 says, “Tell each other the truth because we all belong to each other.”
Let’s get one thing clear here – in no way am I saying that this is easy! This is very difficult stuff – and I personally struggle a lot in this area, I don’t like to let people in to my “area” because I have been hurt in the past and I don’t want to be hurt again. Let’s watch this drama that talks about admitting our anxieties to each other.
Skit: (VIDEO)
“The Neighborhood”
Skit about a group of neighbors that never gets past ‘surface’ conversations. Script purchased from Willow Creek.
This past week in our small groups we talked about 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” There are many benefits to being honest and open about our mistakes, feelings, faults, failures and fears. I want to talk about just one of those benefits this morning as we wrap up and that is the joy and the privilege of praying for each other and being prayed for.
Many times when we pray, we feel like it is just useless. We don’t really know how to pray and we don’t really sense that our prayers are being answered. Let’s look at a passage from Revelation 8:3-5:
Rev 8:3 Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all the saints, on the golden altar before the throne.
Rev 8:4 The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel’s hand.
Rev 8:5 Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.
When we begin to share with each other about our weaknesses, our faults, our failures and fears, we can begin to pray very specifically for each other. When we do that, our prayers go up to God and are mixed with the fire of the altar of heaven. Then they are “hurled” back down to earth causing “peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.” That sounds like some pretty powerful stuff!
All creation is being shaken by the prayers of the saints – that’s YOU!! When you open up to each other, and pray for each other, you can shake the earth!!
Song of Response:
My Glorious
