PART 3
Eph 4:14-15 .... we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ--
The first three characters we talked about were anger based:
The Sherman Tank, Gen 4:19 Lamech boasted, "I have killed a man for wounding me, even a young man for hurting me." If you are attacked by a Sherman Tank personality ... don’t wilt! Listen to them, then respond with something like, "That is interesting, I have a different point of view than you, but in my opinion ...." and tell him firmly and without anger how you feel. If he interrupts you, say, "Excuse me, you interrupted me." And then continue with your explanation.
The Sniper, 2 Sam 6:20 tells of the sarcasm of Michal, the wife of King David, as she sniped at him. The Sniper can be healed by God’s forgiveness, too! If possible, confront them in private. Let them know you felt as if they were digging at you with their comments, and ask them, "Did you mean it that way?" If they attempt to dismiss your question, let them know, "I distinctly heard a dig in the tone of your voice." If they persist in sniping at you in public, at that moment ask the others who hear them, "Do all of you agree with what was just said?’ This relieves you of being further involved and allows others in the group to confront the person instead.
The Land Mine is also angry. King Saul attempted to spear David on three occasions! They want you to walk softly around them, thereby creating an atmosphere of fear and frustration. Find a time in private where you can make good eye contact and say, "I want to hear what you have to say, but not in this way." Then get the facts straight and offer some practical help, if possible.
But not all difficult people are angry, some are fearful.
The first one of these I want to talk about is called The Waffler. John 18:28 has the story of Pilate as he waffled on making the right decision about the crucifixion of Jesus! A good leader needs to make decisions based on what is right ... what is true ... and what pleases God. When dealing with someone who always waffles you may need to help them make a decision by saying something like, "It might be better if you would ...."
The next difficult person to deal with is The Complainer. Our example is King Ahab when he wanted Naboth’s garden. A Complainer usually feels powerless in their personal lives ... they complain a lot about things but they aren’t willing to stand up and make any changes. When working with a complainer, listen to their complaint so they know you have heard them – but don’t agree with them! And don’t apologize for disagreeing with them. Instead, get them involved with finding a solution to their problems. If they want to talk it to death, don’t be afraid to say: "Look, Joe, I have some things I need to do. How do you think we can sum this all us?" After a moment of any further discussion, excuse yourself.
The next character is The Wet Blanket, they too are fearful people. The Ten Spies of Numbers 13 were wet blankets ... "we are not able ..." Wet Blankets are not happy people! Their fear causes them to feel that no one can be trusted, nothing will work out well, and surely disaster is just around the corner! Their negative words demands that something positive be ready in reply for every negative word they say. When dealing with the Wet Blanket personality, get them to define for you the absolute worst thing they think can happen ... BUT DON’T LET THEM DRAG YOU THERE! Then be ready to take positive action in spite of what they say.
The last three we want to examine are The Clam, The Bulldozer, and The Nice Guy. They each seem to be motivated differently.
The Clam reminds me of the parable of the unrighteous judge of Luke 18:2 .... "There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. 3 Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ’Get justice for me from my adversary.’ 4 And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ’Though I do not fear God nor regard man, 5 yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’ " NKJV
The unrighteous judge was not moved by a need for justice .
but in aggravation he finally responded to the request from the widow for justice!
The silence of The Clam PERSON makes people around them uncomfortable when a decision is called for
it is often paralyzing when it action is needed!
The Israelites used it as a battle tactic with the people of Jericho
for six days they marched around the city without uttering a word!
And some people use this as a tactic for getting their own way as well. Silence.
Questions are ignored and comments are not returned.
In sullen silence there brews a storm! To get some participation from The Clam – attempt to engage him in small talk – the weather or whatever!
Then talk to them about their lack of conversation and challenge them to express themselves. It may be the beginning!
The Bulldozer reminds me of the Apostle Paul ... particularly before he became a Christian and was then called Saul.
His resume included the number of people he had taken to jail and those who had been stoned to death due to his accusations!
It didn’t matter whether he was right or wrong
it was hard for him to see any point of view other than his own! Even after becoming a Christian you can still see his old personality come through!
When you run into the bulldozer personality THEY may bowl you over with their ideas.
tHey really dont have it in for you
they just come on strong because they believes their right!
You will need to get that person’s attention ...
describe to him/her in detail what you are proposing to do ... or not do ... then ask,
"Do you have a problem with what we are trying to do?" He may object so be prepared to restate your position and ask again,
"Now do you have a problem with that?" Usually he will go along.
he primarily just wants to be heard and have his point of view examined before you proceed!
The Nice Guy, on the other hand, their are people who always agree.
And at the time ... they mean it!
Timothy was a nice guy ... he agreed with Paul ... agreed with his congregation ... and then sat down in fear and did nothing.
He is a lot like The Waffler. You have to make it easy for these people to raise their issues with you. They usually respond well to solutions that are free from conflict.
We are to be like Christ ... and not like one of these! So .........
Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. NKJV
