Every one of us needs to know how to effectively communicate. Our relationships depend on it.
One of the most tremendous communicators in history was the Apostle Paul. Our Scripture text today gives us several insights into how we too can become effective in this strategic area of our lives.
1. A good communicator is complimentary. (Verse 8)
Paul was not using flattery. He was sincere. He bragged on the faith exhibited by the Roman church. He wasn’t the founder of the church at Rome, so it wasn’t like he was trying to take credit for their good qualities. He simply wanted them to know he was aware of the good name they had throughout the empire.
His compliment was a bridge to communication.
Before we interact with others they should have a sense of how much we value them.
Whether it is our spouse, our children, parents, co-workers, friends, - we shouldn’t keep our appreciation for them to ourselves.
Husbands and wives should express verbal appreciation for each other every day. Parents should rehearse to their children the good qualities they possess and compliment them continuously. Children need to be taught to thank their parents for the good they do for them.
And its not just WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.
And ancient king had a dream that all of his teeth had fallen out. He was naturally concerned about the meaning of this nightmare, so the next morning he sent for a soothsayer to interpret the meaning.
The soothsayer listened to the king as he rehearsed his dream back to him, pondered it for a moment or two, and then blurted out this pronouncement:
"Your Highness, the dream means that all your relatives will die and you will be left alone."
The royal ruler was furious at the soothsayer’s interpretation, and he demanded the sage remove himself from the palace at once. Then the king called for a second soothsayer. The second man listened to the king’s dream, pondered it, and then proclaimed:
"Rejoice, O King! The dream means that you will live many years. In fact, you will outlive all of your relatives! LONG LIVE THE KING!"
This interpretation so pleased the king that he gave the interpreter a large purse of gold.
2. A good communicator communicates first to God. (Verses 9-10)
It could be that Paul influenced more people for Christ by his prayers than by his preaching!
Paul mentions prayer in every correspondence to every individual or church with whom he kept in touch. He was not bashful about telling people that he was praying for them.
Even when he was imprisoned for proclaiming the Good News about Jesus, the jail cells might have hindered his preaching but they did not hinder his prayers.
When was the last time you told someone you were praying for them?
This principle will gain us a hearing. When you pray for someone God opens their heart and mind toward you and they are more inclined to listen to what you have to say.
A young boy went to the store with his mother. The shop owner, a nice man, passed him a large jar of suckers and invited him to help himself to a handful. Uncharacteristically, the boy held back. So the shop owner pulled out a handful for him.
When outside, the boy’s mother asked why he had suddenly been so shy and wouldn’t reach in for a handful of suckers when offered.
The boy replied, "Because his hand is much bigger than mine!"
When we pray we get God involved in our lives and in the lives of those with whom we are trying to communicate. His hand is definitely more influential than ours.
Notice the qualities of Paul’s prayers:
They were constant - "without ceasing".
They were personal - "making mention of you."
They were particular/detailed - "journey to Rome."
They were submissive - "by the will of God."
They were undemanding - "desire to go to Rome."
They were genuine - "God is my witness."
3. A good communicator gives and receives. (Verses 11-12)
We’re not sure in verse 11 if Paul was meaning that he was going to use his spiritual gifts to help the Roman believers or if he was actually going to lay hands on them and impart spritual gifts to them as an emissary of the Holy Spirit.
Both interpretations are possible. What matters for our present consideration is that he wanted to GIVE to the Roman believers. In verse 12 we learn that he wanted his gift sharing to be mutual. He confessed his need for the Romans to use their spiritual gifts to minister to him as well.
When did you last give a gift to someone or graciously receive one from another person?
Giving and receiving tends to break down barriers to communication if they exist, or keep them from forming in the first place.
Think of the Old Testament story for a moment. When Abraham’s servant was sent to find a wife for Isaac he asked God to lead him to the right woman by directing him to the one who would give him water at the well when he arrived at his destination. Sure enough, Rebekah, a virtuous and lovely young woman saw this stranger and offered to give him water to drink. She even offered to draw the water for his camels also. When his camels finished drinking, he in turn, gave her a golden earring, two bracelets and ten shekels of gold.
Rebekah became Isaac’s wife and the mother of Israel.
Why did God choose her? Not only because she was virtuous - but also because she was a person who communicated by giving and receiving.
Abraham’s servant was able to go to her father and communicate his master’s message because giving and receiving laid the groundwork.
Paul knew that when he eventually arrived in Rome that he couldn’t minister there wihtout first laying the groundwork of good communication - giving and receiving.
4. A good communicator shares his motives. (Verses 13-17)
In verse 13 Paul indicates that he wants to lead people to a personal faith relationship with Christ, just as he had in so many other locations.
He even had a specific three-fold foundation for communicating the gospel with them"
a. "I am debtor" (Verse 14)
Paul felt like he owed it to others to tell them about Jesus.
We all know what it is like to owe someone something. Perhaps a mortgage company or a bank, or even an individual from which we borrowed something.
The feeling of debt is a strong pull. You want to get it paid off. You want to get out of the red ink and into the black ink. You work hard to make more money to pay off your debt or even sacrifice in other areas until your debt is paid.
This was the kind of pull that motivated Paul. He had an intense desire to make sure people knew the Good News about Jesus.
Paul’s pull was not just to the Jews. Like God, he wanted all races and classes of people to know Jesus.
b. "I am ready." (Verse 15)
Paul was not a procrastinator when it came to sharing Jesus.
Some time ago an 18-year-old girl from Washington State attended a worship service. For the first time in her life she heard the gospel message. The following Tuesday the members of the church received a letter from her. It read:
"Dear church members,
Last Sunday I attended your church, and I heard the preacher. In the sermon he said that all men have sinned and rebelled against God. Because of their rebellion and disobedience they all face eternal damnation and separation from God.
But then he also said God loved men and sent His Son Jesus Christ into the world to redeem them from their sins and that all those who believe in him would go to heaven and live with God eternally.
My parents recently died in rapid succession. I know they did not believe in Jesus Christ, whom you call the Savior of the world. If what you believe is true, they are damned.
You compel me to believe that either that message is true, that you yourself don’t believe the message, or that you don’t care. You see, we live only three blocks from your church, and no one ever told us."
c. "I am not ashamed." (Verse 16)
Specifically, Paul said he wasn’t ashamed of the gospel. He knew it was the powerful message of salvation.
Shame is a powerful emotion and Christ’s followers are constantly being bombarded with messages that tell them they need to be ashamed.
Bible believing Christians are told that their morals are outdated, their belief-system is archaic, and we’re told that we’re intolerant because we place the Word of God above the current cultural consensus.
Of course, despite the yelps of society, anyone who believes in the inspired, innerant and infallible Word of God has nothing for which to be ashamed.
A few years ago columnist George Will wrote something of interest. (Newsweek, 3/1/99) His article was entitled, "The Gospel from Science - the news from the cosmos is staggeringly improbable and theologically suggestive."
"Soon the Amercian Civil Liberties Union, or People for the American Way, or some similar faction of litigious secularism will file suit against NASA, charging that the Hubble Space Telescope unconstitutionally gives comfort to the religiously inclined."
After rehearsing the scientific data sent back to earth from Hubble, Will draws several pertinent conclusions.
The data "...suggested that matter and motion originated rather as Genesis suggests, ex nihilo, out of nothing, in a stupendous explosion of light and energy...Life is so improbable it must somehow be favored by something. By some First Cause, ’to which’ said Aquinas, ’everyone gives the name of God.’"
Will continues, "The idea of purposefulness, an idea that science seemed, for a while, to drain from life, may be making a comeback...The idea of God is more plausible than the alternative proposition that, given enough time, some green slime could write Shakespeare’s sonnets."
Paul was not ashamed because he possessed a personal faith. (Verse 17) It is this faith that provides our right standing with God. This is the theme of Paul’s correspondence to the Roman church and the central message of Christianity.
Man must trust in God instead of himself. This is a difficult thing for proud people. But it is essential.
We must communicate this and not be ashamed.
