"Waiting for Someone to Say Grace"
Matthew 18:21-35 Romans 14:1-10
(Matthew 18:21-35 NRSV) Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" {22} Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. {23} "For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. {24} When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; {25} and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. {26} So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ’Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ {27} And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. {28} But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ’Pay what you owe.’ {29} Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ’Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ {30} But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. {31} When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. {32} Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ’You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. {33} Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ {34} And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. {35} So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."
(Romans 14:1-10 NRSV) Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. {2} Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. {3} Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. {4} Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand. {5} Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. {6} Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God. {7} We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. {8} If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. {9} For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living. {10} Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.
At my former church, the men got together for breakfast each month.
One Saturday when all the food was ready,
our chef called us to gather in the hallway for prayer.
So we closed our eyes, we bowed our heads and we waited.
We all stood there as we waited, and we waited.
Finally, after more silence and waiting, I looked up and asked,
"Bob, were you wanting me to say grace?"
It was kind of a funny moment as we all had just stood there,
waiting, waiting for someone to say grace.
But when you think about it, the truth is,
much of the world is standing around waiting,
waiting and hoping that someone will say grace,
that someone will show mercy and compassion;
and that rather than seeking revenge and retribution,
they will offer instead, forgiveness, mercy and pardon.
O how we, and all the world, long to hear grace spoken into our lives
To receive grace --- its a longing that all humanity shares.
Earnest Hemingway wrote about a scene of this longing for grace.
In Madrid, a father ran a little ad in the local paper one day,
"Paco, meet me at the Hotel Montana at noon Wednesday.
All is forgiven, signed, Papa."
According to Hemingway, toward noon on Wednesday of that week,
the hotel actually had to call the police to break up a crowd
of some eight-hundred young men named ’Paco’;
each one hoping that he was the one forgiven,
the one invited for mercy, pardon & reconciliation.
800 young men waiting there, just hoping for someone to say grace.
Can you remember a time when you heard grace spoken to you?
or a time when someone had just the exact and healing word
and so touched you with grace and compassion
offering hope and concern in just the right way?
or when someone you’d wronged, hurt or offended
chose not to exercise their rightful revenge & payback?
This world can be a very hard and demandingly harsh place.
It can be a very difficult and unforgiving world out there…
… and so we come to church,
hoping and waiting to hear a gentle and kind word of grace.
Jesus said: John 13:34, 15:12
I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
That is the chief business and purpose of the Church ----
to reflect and share with others that we encounter
the same love and grace of our Lord God
that we ourselves have so freely received.
1 John 3:11, 4:7
For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
But, its not always easy to live up to this ideal,
even for church family and even for committed Christians.
Sometimes terrible things are said and done even among Christians;
hurtful rumors and gossip, false judgment and prejudice
terrible damaging things said and done
leading to terrible resentment, bitterness, even hate.
Our actions & relationships do not always honor & glorify our God
and though Christians, we do & say things, we at least ought to regret.
And of course that has always been the case;
even among the disciples during the earthly ministry of Jesus.
Peter has some questions about relationships within the Church,
about forgiveness among Christians who offend one another.
Matthew 18:21
"Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?"
Peter is being pretty magnanimous in suggesting to forgive seven times.
Rabbis taught that the rule was three times, but not four;
’three strikes and you’re out’ long proceeded Abner Doubleday & baseball
But I think Peter wants to show
that he’s starting to get this ’grace and forgiveness thing’;
and so he doubles the rabbis’ standard plus one
for seven certainly sounds like a generous enough number.
But then Jesus says,
’no, that’s still not good enough’ --- more like 70 times 7’.
The difference between Peter and Jesus
is really not just a matter of the numbers,
but it’s the very nature of Christian forgiveness itself.
70 times 7 means a number beyond keeping a count or calculation
and that forgiveness among Christians is to have no limit.
For just as there is no limit of God’s grace toward us,
and since God’s love overcomes even the worst of our sin,
so too God’s loving forgiveness through us is also to be;
grace sufficient to overcome any sin done to us.
And so Jesus tells a parable illustrating this high standard & demand.
A parable that is abundantly clear and disturbingly easy to understand,
yet nearly impossible to carry out & obediently fulfill.
The king forgives an astronomical amount, an impossible debt.
Its ludicrous when the slave requests: Matthew 18:26
’Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’
But he couldn’t have possibly paid it all back
even with the wages of a thousand lifetimes.
In sharp contrast,
the second slave owes the first man just a piddling amount
a debt you could easily to pay off in a fairly short time.
The second slave asks for compassion and grace
using the same exact words as the first said to the king,
’Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’
… which serve to heighten and highlight the clear contrast
between the grace that he himself received from the king.
and his own cruel refusal to extent that grace to another.
The point is that if we have truly received grace and compassion,
then of course we will extend that same grace & compassion
especially in our dealings with others of Christ’s Body.
Surely its spiritual amnesia to forget the grace we’ve received
by refusing to offer the same grace toward others;
for we are to be to others, as God has been to us.
1 John 4:11-12
Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.
The message is clear; don’t be like that unforgiving slave,
but show grace & mercy, pardon & forgive those who offend,
after all, each week in our worship
we dare say in petition, in the Lord’s Prayer
’forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors’;
This is truly a terrifying thing to pray, if we consider our words;
"Lord forgive my sin --- to the degree that I forgive others"
… meaning that our capacity to receive & accept God’s forgiveness
is tied to our willingness to extend forgiveness
in obedience to the command Jesus gave: John 13:34
I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.
But its not really so easy to reflect God’s grace & forgive, is it?
In fact sometimes I think that it even hurts more
when the very ones we trust, when those of church family
are the ones who harm, who betray and do us wrong.
Yet I think we all know that we need to do better at mercy & forgiveness;
getting past all the annoying and disturbing things people do.
I sure need for you to overlook my failings and mistakes, my sins,
and so I’d better make more room for pardon and grace
toward those whose mercy and forgiveness I so much need.
Surely within the Church, the body of Christ,
is where we need to see beyond offenses, failings & follies
recognizing that God is not done
but is still hard at work transforming our human lives
We need to recognize and welcome accordingly
that people do come here hoping & waiting for someone to say grace
And of course we know that’s the Church’s primary mission & purpose
That’s simple enough and even possible for the minor annoyances,
but how about the serious and significant wrongs; abuse, violence
things that severely impact, things that leave a deep scar?
How do we do grace & speak forgiveness when the stakes are so high,
and when the damage done is so destructive and devastating?
There is story that one time long after the civil war,
Robert E. Lee was visiting a woman in Kentucky,
who took him outside to see the remains of a grand old tree
She described bitterly how the limbs and trunk had been damaged
reminding her of the terrible losses she endured in the war
expecting Lee to sympathize and share her resentment.
Instead the General said, "Cut it down, madam, and forget it.
Its better to forgive the injustices of the past
than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take root
and poison the rest of our lives."
The General knew that when we refuse and withhold Christian forgiveness
we are the ones who are harmed carrying that burden and poison
for the toxins of bitterness are mostly self-destructive.
And know that until we intend to allow God’s to flow through us,
our spiritual growth is stopped, and we shall surely wither.
This is a battle and struggle that I know only too well.
Many years ago I was wronged, cheated in business by a trusted Christian
which completely rearranged the path & progress of my life
For years I was filled with hate, rage, resentment and venom
and I reveled in others concurring with how I had been wronged,
& how my life & dreams were shattered by that Christian’s greed
In time I could see that my bitter attitude was self-destructive.
I wanted to move past it and get on with my life.
I needed to forgive, it was a toxin eating away at my life.
So I would try to forgive, but the feelings of hate kept coming back
just like trying to blow trick candles on a birthday cake.
But I just had to keep trying, intending to forgive,
which is something like trying to get rid of a mimosa tree.
In North Carolina, when you chop down a mimosa tree, you’re not done;
for years shoots keep sprouting, and have to be cut back again and again.
But if you are vigilant and don’t let them grow,
in time the roots finally do dry up, wither and die.
So too if we intend to forgive, if we reject and don’t feed our bitterness
in time resentment will wither & fade by God’s own power.
Yes, we do try and want to forgive, we truly intend to forgive,
but forgiving significant wrongs does not happen all at once;
it takes a long time for the bitterness finally to die off.
Some years ago I thought I had a handle on this forgiveness thing,
I thought it was all done – I’d forgiven the wrong done to me.
It no longer drove me crazy, I was past it, forgiveness achieved.
But then, just out of nowhere and totally unexpectedly,
I got a phone call from this woman who so hurt and cheated me,
saying that she wanted to get together and talk.
I had no doubt that God was testing my grace and forgiveness;
making me deal with that sprouting mimosa again.
I fantasized that maybe she would be sorry & seek my pardon
But when we met there was no sense of regret or remorse on her part.
I got absolutely no satisfaction of her recognizing her wrong.
But then neither did I feel anger, hatred or bitterness anymore.
Kathy and I left her big house that day mostly feeling pity,
and a deep and powerful sense of gratitude.
Gratitude, that in my life God had had a plan, including my loss & hurt.
Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have met Kathy, or become a pastor.
I probably wouldn’t have shared this wonderful past year with you;
and I would have missed out
on some of the most important & significant things of my life.
At that moment I realized
that forgiveness freed me from dwelling on the past
and so I could enjoy my present blessings & God’s awesome good.
I’m not sure why she bothered to locate me after so many years,
for it certainly wasn’t to express any apology, remorse or regret.
But I do wonder that maybe after all these many years,
that she needed to hear, that she longed and hoped to hear,
for all those years she’d waited to hear, if I could say grace.
Compassion directed me to visit; reflecting God’s compassion shown me –
and I know that God’s power & God’s love
is far, far greater than even the harm
we inflict upon others or that they inflict upon us.
Forgiveness is the principle and primary task of the Church.
Forgiveness is the essential that makes Christians truly Christian
and it is what differentiates the Church
from all other human institutions & organizations.
I know the world longs for forgiveness, to see if grace is real;
with hope, hunger & longing, the world waits for someone to say grace,
and what a blessing when God’s forgiveness & grace can flow through us.
Forgiveness is not really an option for us as Christians,
but it is the difficult path that Jesus commands us to walk;
not as a guilt driven commandment or legalism,
but as an obedient response to God’s own grace
thru which enables God’s further blessings…
… for non-forgiveness will absolutely stifle our walk with the Lord
Jesus knew what people are like, how easily we offend and hurt,
how easy to hold a grudge, to become bitter and resentful.
Forgiveness is not a single time event or feeling or thought,
or even a 70 times 7 event, a mere feeling or thought,
but it is an ongoing process beyond calculation or even keeping track.
For us to really receive grace and forgiveness from God,
we first recognize how extravagant God’s forgiving love is,
and then in response,
we can reflect that same outward toward others;
even forgiving and gracing others to the same generous extent
that we ourselves have been pardoned and graced by God.
Forgiveness – do you know of someone waiting for you to say ’grace’?
1 John 4:19-21
We love because he first loved us.
Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars;
for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen,
cannot love God whom they have not seen.
The commandment we have from him is this:
those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.
