Happy Father’s Day, Dads and Grandfathers!
The Bible tells us, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you (Exodus 20:12).” This commandment is not a suggestion. And God does not limit the application of this command to those fathers deserving honor.
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong message about Satan. One boy said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
To which the other replied, "You remember how Santa Claus turned out to be your Dad? Well, I think Satan is probably also your Dad in disguise.
Dads are credited with good and bad. Since dads are human, there is good in the worse of dads and bad in the best of dads. Unfortunately, certain segments of American culture see dads as the bad guy and at best as optional. I don’t believe dads are optional, but I do believe dads can come closer to deserve the honor to which God calls children to give.
My hope this morning is to help dads to live a life to deserve the honor our children are commanded by God to give to us. Our text is Genesis 25:19-34.
Birthright is not a common concept in our day and culture, but you need to know Esau paid too much for his stew. Hebrews 12:16-17 reads, “Esau, for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.” When Esau gave up his birthright, he gave up the promise from God to make his descendents the blessing to the world.
Esau paid too much for his stew. He changed the destiny of his posterity for a bowl of stew. In Malachi 1:4, God said, “[The children of Esau] may build, but I will demolish. They will be called the Wicked Land, a people always under the wrath of the LORD.” We see God’s favor departed from Esau’s posterity.
Esau is not the only man who paid too much stew. All men have this tendency. Some men pay for their career with their family. They allow their career to take everything they have. No effort, energy or time is left to develop an intimate marriage or to train up their children. My pastor reminded me early in my ministry that this church can always get another pastor, but my family only has one dad.
Some men pay for a moment of pleasure with their marriage. Adultery often costs more than a marriage. Sometimes the payment for a moment of pleasure costs two marriages. Sometimes the payment costs children. The payment always includes the man and the woman’s relationship with God. The payment also includes the man and the woman’s conscience.
Guys pay too much for stew. Call this tendency sin, bad choices or mistakes, if you want. But to be a father who deserves the honor God commands our children to give to us, we must learn not to pay too much for stew. The good news is that we can learn how to prevent this tendency from destroying our honor. Let’s look together.
First, we will not pay too much for stew when we feed regularly. Vs. 29-33
Stew is stuff for which we are willing to pay an unreasonably high price because we are starving. Esau was too busy and too driven by his desire for success as a hunter that he skipped a meal and returned home starving after a day in the open country. He probably wouldn’t have chosen to eat lentil stew if he had the choice, but starving people rarely feel that they have a choice. In fact, starvation often leads to susceptibility to paying too much for stew.
There are many examples of starvation leading to susceptibility. When a man is physically starved, he is less likely to think in terms of health and cost. He may pay three times the normal price for an unhealthy candy bar from a vending machine. When a lady is relationally starved, she is less wise about receiving love from the right person. She may pay with her virginity for a man who will listen or empathize.
Whether we are starved physically, emotionally, spiritually or relationally, we are susceptible to paying too much for stew. Many people are spiritually starved, and they pay with their soul for shallow, quick-fixed, feel-good and self-centered spirituality.
The solution to not paying too much for stew is to feed regularly. Overly hungry and overly tired people are more likely to give into temptations in every area of life. Having healthy food within reach, eating regularly, and getting sufficient rest will help a great deal in our ability to think wisely and not be susceptible to temptations.
A starved spirit and mind struggle with doubt, worry and low confidence. Regular times of reading, applying and meditating on God’s Word and praying to God feed our spirit and mind. Feeding on God’s Word once a week is not enough. Frequent feeding on God’s Word is needed for confidence, courage and intimacy with God.
Those starved emotionally and relationally are more susceptible to paying too much for stew. They are more likely to sacrifice their purity and loyalty to God and to his or her spouse. If you’re married, carving out regular times for talking, listening, planning, playing and praying with your spouse will feed your emotional and relational hunger. If you’re not married, carving out regular times for building healthy friendship will feed our emotional and relational hunger.
Finally, a financially starved man or woman struggles more with anxiety and moral choices. I’ve always taken Fred Smith’s advice to have enough savings to last 3 to 6 months if I were unemployed. This way, I’m never tempted to sacrifice my integrity or family in order to keep a job. A well-fed savings account gives peace of mind and courage to live honorably. Having a savings is biblical.
A good question to ask frequently is, “What part of me is hungry?” Feed the right part. Feed appropriately. Don’t feed a starving emotional tank with chocolate cake. And feed regularly. Don’t be so busy making a living that you ignore the God who made your life. A well-fed person has a better chance to live honorably.
Second, we will not pay too much for stew when we value God’s blessings. Vs. 33-34
Esau devalued his inheritance of God’s blessing when he exchanged it for bread and stew. What was God’s blessing eventually became Esau’s burden. Devaluing God’s blessings lead to despising God’s blessings.
When we don’t value God’s blessings in our lives, the blessings become burdens. God gave us our spouse and our children to bless us. But some men place work or recreation above their spouse and children. I’m sometimes guilty of this. And when this happens, our spouse and children become burdens instead of blessings. We despise them as interruptions and interferences to our pursuit of what we think is really valuable.
Rarely are God’s blessings treated as burdens from the start. God blesses us with the Bible, and some of us remember our initial excitement and joy over reading God’s Word and learning about God and His wisdom. But over time, neglect leads to devaluing and devaluing leads to despising. Soon, the Bible becomes a burden to read and live by. Our body, our wife, our children, our possessions and our relationship with God can journey down the same path of blessing to burden, if we don’t value them continuously.
Jesus said in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Our treasures include our time, our energy, our money and our thoughts. In other words, when we intentionally invest our time, energy, money and thoughts into the blessings of God, our hearts will delight in the blessings of God.
When our first daughter was born, both Susan and I knew she was a blessing from God. But I was in seminary full-time, working part-time, and I did the shopping, cooking and cleaning, because Susan was limited by her health condition. I became so busy that I had no time, energy or thought left for Esther. Soon, Esther became a burden. I was constantly impatient with her. I literally despised her.
But now, I block off one to two hours each day to be with my children. By allocating time, energy and attention for my children, I am able to enjoy them as God’s blessings in my life again.
The same is true of my relationship with Susan. When we were dating and newly married, there was no doubt that she was God’s blessing to me. But when I am driven by my work, I have no time, energy or thought left for Susan. In those times, she becomes such a burden to me that I wish I were single again. But recently by blocking off about 30 minutes each night to talk, plan and pray with her, she has again become God’s blessing to me.
When men despise the blessings of God, the temptation will be to pursue own selfish and dishonorable pleasure. The honorable solution is to invest your treasures of time, energy, money and thought into those blessings. By doing so, you will regain delight for the blessings of God.
If we want to deserve the honor God calls our children to give to us, we need to make honorable choices in life and live by those choices. But if we are starved and resentful, mere willpower will not enable us to choose honorably. We can only live honorably by feeding ourselves regularly so we are not starving and by valuing God’s blessings so they do not become burdens.
