How to handle Stress?
Thesis: Stress is a reality of life in our hustle and bustle life styles. We find pressures pressing in on every side. We find ourselves pressed to the wall because of these anxiety producing phenomena’s. So how do we handle stress? Jesus demonstrated to us through his life and ministry the right steps to take in dealing with the stress of life.
Video Clip: Jingle all the Way- Shows the stress of the holidays. These two guys are so stressed out that it causes them more stress because they deal with stress the wrong way.
Introduction:
Stress it’s everywhere and it is ever pursuing and pressuring us in our lives. I find it at home and at work. I find it in the church and outside the church. I see it in all four seasons of the year but something happens around the holidays it somehow gains momentum and presses us harder than during the rest of the year. Why? Our video clip revealed that the holidays can be filled with stress if we allow them to be. I heard one speaker say that we can be in pain and yet still not suffer because suffering is a choice. I agree I believe we can come under pressure and stress it can mushroom up but we don’t have to let it have preeminence. Stress comes from the following conditions:
S= Shocking moments in our life
T=Traumatic events that occur to our life
R=Repetitious pressure from something in our life
E=Errors that we make cause stress
S=Strain from succeeding and striving through life
S=Sales relates to money-financial pressures
Swindoll stated, “Whoever dubbed our times “The Aspirin Age” didn’t miss it very far. It is correct to assume there has never been a more stress-ridden society than ours. For many, gone are the days of enjoying bubbling brooks along winding pathways or taking long strolls near the beach. The relaxed bike ride through the local park has been replaced with the roar of a motorcycle whipping through busy traffic. The easy-come, easy-go lifestyle of the farm has been preempted by a hectic urban family going in six different directions…existing on instant dinners, shouting matches, strained relationships, too little sleep, and too much television. Add financial setbacks, failure at school, unanswered letters, obesity, loneliness, a ringing phone, unplanned pregnancies, fear of cancer, misunderstanding, materialism, alcoholism, drugs, and an occasional death: then subtract the support of the family unit, divide by dozens of opinions, multiply by 365 days a year, and you have the makings of madness! Stress has become a way of life; it is the rule rather than the exception” (15, Stress Fractures).
One motto says. “If you keep the bow bowed to long it will eventually break!” And many of us find ourselves in this position today. Why? Sometimes it’s because we do it to ourselves. We put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. We in all truth stress ourselves out. Some stress themselves out because they think that busy is better! Doing more is what God wants. Being busier is being better and we find ourselves in a whirlwind of activity trapped like a feather in a tornado swept around in circles and we end up getting so dizzy and disorientated that we lose our direction and our purpose in life. This type of pressure eventually causes the individual to crack and finally the pressure gets so strong and consistent it causes us to break.
I recall watching the TV shortly after 911 when one plane lost and engine and the plane crashed on long Island. The final verdict on this accident was not terrorism but actually it was caused by the stress from this plane flying in the air. Over time this plane being under constant motion and pressure from the outside force of nature eventually developed stress fractures around the engine. The mechanics never noticed these stress fractures and the mountings around this engine from the pressure could not take it any more and the engine broke free from the plane and it crashed. The truth is if someone would have noticed the stress fractures the people on that plane could have been saved but instead they lost their lives. Why because the stress fractures went unnoticed.
The same is true for each one of us today. We need to ask ourselves do I have stress fractures in my life! Is stress relentlessly pounding at my heart and life. Have I been in shock and awe for too long. Have I faced one trauma after another trauma. Have my repeated errors and mistakes caused me to be pressed against the wall feeling pinned like a sardine in a can. Have I been straining to long to endure another day of busyness running here there and every where. Have I found myself so indebt because of all the great sales, all the materialistic stuff that is paraded in front of me on a daily basis that I bought in to the lie that stuff will make me happy. This brings is to the upcoming holidays were most have the tendency to spend –spend –spend-charge-charge-charge. Then enters the stress bills-bills-bills.
We also get caught up in the rat race of life and we run-run-run and find ourselves exhausted and frustrated at people, at relatives all because our unrealistic expectations are not met. Any of this sound vaguely familiar?
In one survey revealed in Rev. magazine the Nov./Dec. 2003 edition they share an interesting chart on stress: They noted:
Did you know nearly half of adults say that money issues are the top cause of stress in their daily lives? Here is the chart of the top 4 stressors in people’s lives:
49% - said money was their biggest stress factor.
22% - said family responsibilities were their greatest stress factor.
22% - said work deadlines were their greatest stress factor.
7% - said commuting was their greatest stress factor.
In line with this discovery of stress came the next question: What do adults eat when they are stressed? Many try to reduce their stress by over eating:
47% - said anything they want
42% - said warm foods
37% -said deserts
29% -said childhood favorites
Now listen to what health experts say about obesity in America – it is the number one health problem. It leads to shortened life spans by heart disease and strokes. In children and adolescents the obesity rate has reached 15% of the population. In adults 33% of America is overweight. Could it be that so many people are overweight because they are so stressed out? One pole said that obesity has sky rocketed in the last 20 years and it continues to climb.
How do others deal with stress they sedate themselves with alcohol. It temporarily helps them reduce their stress. But the problem with alcohol is it always takes more the next time to reduce their stress until finally the persons stress is caused by the addiction to alcohol.
How do others deals with stress they use drugs to dull the pain and pressure of stress.
The same principal occurs again just like in alcohol. They use the drug to relax and it starts its evil pull to eventually become the stressor that controls you life and destroys your life.
Some us Cigarettes to deal with stress which causes severe health problems. In the end it causes more stress than they relieved.
One side note – No one can control their lives if alcohol and drug abuse is the way they deal with stress. They will eventually take control of your life and destroy it.
So how should we deal with stress? Glad you asked lets first of all look at some practical things you can do in your life to reduce your stress level.
I. There are 6 practical things you can do to relieve stress in your life that Jesus demonstrated to us.
a. We need to get away from the stressors and find a quiet place to meet with God.
i. Jesus frequently got away from the stressor of ministry to spend time with the Father.
1. Throughout his ministry we would find Jesus getting away from the pressures of the ministry and the crowd. Why so he could relax by spending time with the Father.
ii. We need to learn to do the same in our lives.
1. Times of spiritual and mental refreshment come in these times of seclusion. It’s a time to just get away from the hustle and bustle of life and a time be refreshed by time with the Father.
iii. Text examples.
1. Luke 22:39-41: Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciple followed him. On reaching the place he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed…
2. John 6:15: Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.
3. Matthew 14:22,23: “Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray…”
b. Jesus also teaches us that we must not deny our stress but face it head on.
i. Jesus did this in the Garden of Gethsemane Matthew 26:36-56:
Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, “Stay here while I go over there and pray.” Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, “This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me.” Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?” When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, “Can’t you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don’t wander into temptation without even knowing you’re in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.”He then left them a second time. Again he prayed, “My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I’m ready. Do it your way.” When he came back, he again found them sound asleep. They simply couldn’t keep their eyes open. This time he let them sleep on, and went back a third time to pray, going over the same ground one last time. When he came back the next time, he said, “Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let’s get going! My betrayer is here.”
1. He faced his greatest stressor head on which was to go to the cross. The reason he could face his stressor was because he faced it with the help of Father.
2. How stressed was he-read the text!
a. He sweated drops of blood!
i. Luke 22:42-45: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”
b. He went to the Lord and asked if this stressor could be removed.
i. He discovered it could not so he prayed and dealt with the fact that this stressor was not avoidable. And God sent an angel to strengthen him so he could face the stressor.
ii. Whiteman tells us that stress needs to be looked at in light of the three A’s:
1. We must ask ourselves, “Can I Avoid this stress?”
a. Is there a way to avoid this stress in my life?
b. Can I do something different so I can avoid this stressor.
c. For example: If I quit gambling away my money I won’t have the financial stress from losing it.
2. We must ask ourselves, “Can we Alter our stress level?
a. What in life can I change to help me reduce my stress?
b. Example: Will I make the decision to do less instead of more so I reduce my stress. Will I choose to draw boundaries at work to reduce my stress and therefore take on less.
3. We must thirdly ask ourselves, “Do I have to accept this stressor?”
a. The thought here is many of us need to quit fighting against the stressors we cannot avoid and alter.
b. Truth is many exert so much energy fighting against something they will not change.
c. For this scenario we must make the decision to ask the Lord to strengthen us and give us wisdom.
d. We must ask Him if we are to alter, avoid or accept this stressor. This is what Jesus did.
ii. In Jesus’ case he of course chose to accept the stressor of doing God’s will and that was to go to the cross and to die for the sins of mankind so that we all could gain eternal life.
c. Jesus also modeled to us the most crucial step to dealing with stress. We need to do what seems most unnatural to most of us – We need to pray – I did not say the other P word party. There is a big difference between the two. In times of stress we must ask for God’s help in dealing the stressors of Life.
i. James 5:13 “Is any of you in trouble? He should pray….”
ii. Matthew 6:6 “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
iii. Matthew 7:7,8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
iv. Asking for help from the Lord is the wisest thing you could ever do to overcome life’s stressors.
1. Proverbs 2:6 “For the Lord gives wisdom…”
2. Psalm 51:6 “You teach me wisdom in the innermost place..”
3. Psalm 111:10 “…the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
v. Reference the Newsweek article this week Nov. 10 Issue 2003.
1. 84% of Americans think that praying for sick improves their chances of recovery.
2. The strength of evidence revealed that population studies revealed benefits of regular church attendance. And brain scans of people deep in prayer show changes are real.
3. Reference page 47 on why religion helps. Show article to the congregation.
4. Oswald Chambers had this to say about stress:
a. “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God …” (Romans 8:28).The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, “I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that.” All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints. (Nov. 7)
b. Prayer has become the lost tool of today for coping with the stressors of life. Yet it is the most effective tool in dealing with stress.
d. Jesus also role modeled that once we meet with the Father we then need to leave the quiet place and confront our stressor in light of what the Lord has revealed to us in our time with Him.
i. Our stressors will not go away until we get God’s wisdom and insight into dealing with them and then we must act.
ii. We must confront the stressor head on in light of God’s direction and deal with it the way he directed us too.
iii. For some it could be financial and the Lord may tell you to tithe and quit robbing him of his money!
1. Malachi 3: 6“I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. 7Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty. “But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’ 8“Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. “But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’“In tithes and offerings. 9You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. 10Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit,” says the LORD Almighty. 12“Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.
2. For some in the financial realm he may tell you to quit spending and to quit charging. Use Cash!
3. For some you need to deal with the fact you are not living in your means.
4. For some you need to get a job!
5. Finances usually are the biggest stressor in most homes and we need to become aware of this stress factor.
6. One way to evaluate if you have financial trouble is to ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do you usually use credit cards to finish out the month?
2. Do you ever pay bills late?
3. Do you float funds from expense accounts to pay your bills?
4. Do you ever hate to hear the telephone ring?
5. Do you always pay minimum payment on your credit cards?
6. Do you never tithe or make charitable gifts?
7. Have you had more than one overdraft check on your bank account this past year?
8. Is a savings or retirement account non-existent?
9. Do you dream of getting rich quickly?
(Questions from Rev. Magazine page 28-Source 11 reasons Families Succeed)
iv. Jesus faced his accusers and the ones who come to arrest Him.
1. Luke 22:45-48 “When he arose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. “Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.” While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
a. He dealt with the betrayal of a friend. He did not yell scream or get even. He faced the stressor.
b. In Matthew 26:50 it states, “Jesus replied, ‘Friend, do what you came for.’ Then the men step forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.”
e. Jesus teaches us to also make sure we keep our perspective when we confront our stressor.
i. Jesus did not let violence deal with the situation of his arrest. Instead he performed a miracle and rebuked the act of violence.
1. Jesus showed his power in the Gospel of John’s account in chapter 18:1-11: 1When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and he and his disciples went into it. 2Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. 3So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons. 4Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?” 5“Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 6When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground. 7Again he asked them, “Who is it you want?” And they said, “Jesus of Nazareth.” 8“I told you that I am he,” Jesus answered. “If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” 9This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me.” 10Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) 11Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”
ii. The truth is when he faced his stressor his perspective was on reaching the goal set before him by God and that was the cross.
1. We need to make sure when we confront our stressors that our perspective is a Godly and loving perspective
iii. For some of you when you face your stressor you need to look at it in the light of eternity and in light of the Word of God.
1. Some deal with stress like in our video clip with anger that leads to sin. Anger never relieves stress it usually causes more stress.
2. Anger is about forcing a scenario to change your way and it ends up hurting others and stressing everyone else out. This by the way will come back to bite the one who is angry and in the end cause them overwhelming stress.
iv. All stressors can be overcome if we keep the right perspective.
1. For instance if your stressor is related to family relations we can look at others in light as to how God sees them.
a. See them through the lenses of love not anger.
b. Remember everyone matters to God.
f. Jesus showed us that we need to be perseverant in dealing with our stressor. We must learn to push through to the other side.
i. John 19:30: “When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”
ii. Too many today do not press through stress. Many give in.
1. Swindoll notes, “Suicide is now a viable option to many who once would have never tolerated the thought. Every day in the United States, over seventy people take their lives-that’s more than three each hour, twenty-four hours every day. The suicide rate for Americans under thirty years of age has increased dramatically in the past decade. Form many the bow has broken.” (16).
iii. Giving up does NOT win the battle over stress.
1. When we give up we lose and the stressor wins.
iv. We need to keep our eyes on the Lord! He promises to help us through..
1. Hebrews 12:1-3: 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
v. Here are 5 things you can do to persevere through the stressors which that will help to relieve stress in your life.
1. Exercise is considered to be a great stress reliever.
a. Do it daily
2. Diet and nutritional eating habits will help you defeat stress.
a. Fast food will not!
b. Sweets will not in the long run.
3. Seek Christian Counsel.
a. Discuss your stress with trusted Godly friends.
i. In other words enlist support from the body of Christ.
ii. Blurb on loneliness: Today many do not have this resource because they have bought into the notion of rugged individualism. Instead of recognizing the need of others in their life they choose to say “I will do it on my own” “I don’t need anyone!”
iii. In times of stress good friends can make the difference between victory and loss.
b. Find a good Christian Counselor who can direct you through the stress and find God’s counsel.
4. Use wisdom in decision making when you are under stress.
a. Make sure you exercise caution when you are under severe stress don’t make big decisions on your own.
b. Make sure you get perspective from others –especially mature believers in Jesus.
c. Make one decision at a time don’t become impatient.
5. Plan something weekly that you like to do and do it faithfully.
a. Look ahead to something you enjoy to do every week. It will help you get through the stressful times in life.
b. Example: Dinner out with a friend, a time to read a good book, art, hobbies, hunting, fishing?
Conclusion:
Jesus modeled 6 ways to defeat the stressors in life:
1. Find a quiet place and get away from the stressors.
2. Face your stressor head on and don’t deny it.
3. Pray to the Father for help and insight in dealing with your stressors.
4. After meeting with the Lord then leave the quiet place and go back and deal with the stressors.
a. Remember the 3 A’s of dealing with stress from Whiteman: Avoid, Alter, Accept.
5. Make sure when you deal with your stressors you keep you eternal perspective.
6. Determine to persevere through the stressors of life to get victory.
*Doctors, Pastors and mental health people have given us 5 things we can do to persevere through stress:
a. Exercise daily
b. Eat a nutritionally balanced diet
c. Seek mature Christian counsel
d. Use wisdom in making decisions
e. Plan on creating a hobby or event that you enjoy doing weekly which will help you in times of stress.
