What makes people behave badly?
We partially answered that question last week in the sermon, "Putting an End to Self-defeating Behavior" based on Daniel chapter four, but the Word of God is going to expand our understanding this week.
The Bible gives us an example of some very bad behavior here in Daniel chapter five.
Belshazzer, adopted son and co-ruler of Babylon with his father Nabonidus, throws a wild party in which drunkenness and debauchery were so wanton that the participants give glory to false gods while drinking from the very vessels once used in worship of Jehovah. This wasn’t entertainment - it was like spitting in God’s face.
Meanwhile, outside the city walls, the Persian king Cyrus is laying siege to the capitol. History records that by this time Nabonidus had already been captured and the surrounding countryside already overtaken by the enemy.
How could a king and his associates be so callous and blasphemous in their behavior in light of their serious situation? The enemy is outside the city walls threatening entry, and they are inside partying and pretending the danger does not exist.
Now they might have been overconfident. The city of ancient Babylon was well fortified. Situated about fifty miles south of the modern city of Baghdad, archeologists have discovered the wall around Babylon was 85 feet thick and 11 miles long. It is estimated that given normal circumstances the city could have remained impregnable for years.
Had it not been for the judgment of God and the cunning of the Persians the city may have stood for some time. But Cyrus cleverly diverted the waters of the Euphrates River from under the city wall and sent his army via the riverbed to capture the capitol.
So perhaps they were indeed partying out of a false sense of security. Or maybe they were even throwing their big party in honor of their false gods, hoping to gain their favor and bring rescue from the enemy. Which, of course, was futile since the only place these gods existed was in their imagination.
There is yet another plausible explanation for the bad behavior of these bad boys and girls in the Capitol City. It can be derived from the message of God Himself. The handwriting on the wall indicates a serious deficiency in the life of the king and his associates that contributed to their sin.
Behind many types of misbehavior is something we might not think about at first glance - the feeling of inadequacy.
People who sense that they are inadequate often behave badly. Their bad behavior can be self-destructive or it can be directed at others, but when we don’t feel so good about ourselves we often talk and act improperly.
The entire list of behavior sometimes rooted in feelings of inadequacy would be rather long, so here’s just a sampling to give you and idea of what we’re up against.
a. Addictions - Feelings of inadequacy often contribute to alcohol and drug addiction but the list doesn’t stop there. Consider this list of "Common Addictions of the 21st Century" from Relax-and-Heal.com.
CHAT ROOMS are fun for teens and adults who love to communicate, perhaps anonymously, in real time. When your teenager or spouse spends four to five hours a day (or night) corresponding in chat rooms accessed through the Internet, the "hobby" has probably become an addiction.
CYBER SEX is a new phenomenon closely related to phone sex. Access to porn sites on the Internet is much easier, cheaper and more private than phone sex, so its addictive potential is enormous. Internet sex is more stimulating as it offers images, video and audio as well as lengthy menus of choices.
WORK seems to be the drug of choice for many people caught up in the Information Revolution. While hard work is the secret of success for many, working to excess is probably a sign of low self-esteem, poor relationships with spouses and families and/or a faulty self-image.
STOCK MARKET addictions were hardly a worry when reports were available only in the daily newspaper. Stock market addicts can now check their financial portfolio minute by minute through the Internet. Like workaholics, people who obsess over their financial standing are probably victims of their own insecurities and low self-confidence.
MONEY addictions keep people awake at night. And the obsession with having more money is not restricted to people who have very little of it. When your feelings of self-worth are a function of your bank balance and stock portfolio, you have joined a game in which you can only lose. Winning a lottery will not make you Bill Gates.
MATERIALISM is closely related to the money addiction, except that your self-image now hangs on your possessions rather than your bank balance. It’s "keeping up with the Joneses" taken to extremes.
There’s even a web site where you can learn more about these addictions and how they affect lives called, "21st-Century-Addictions.com".
But addiction isn’t the only problem related to feelings of inadequacy.
b. Eating disorders - anorexia and bulimia occur most often among young women who feel inadequate in this crazy culture of ours that’s fixated on outward appearance. Ironically, overeating (which most of us can probably identify with more than undereating) can also be caused by feelings of inadequacy - we feel inadequate so we soothe our feelings with food.
c. Self-mutilation - the demoniac of Gadara in Mark’s gospel, chapter 5, is not the only person who ever cut himself. Others do so today, and some even pull out their hair.
d. The list of damaging emotions associated with our feelings of inadequacy includes things like depression, anxiety, anger, and lonliness to name a few. (I am not saying that every time you experience one of these emotions that feelings of inadequacy are the cause but often they are.)
Belshazzer didn’t know how to cope with the stress and responsibility of his situation. He was left in charge of a sinking ship and he couldn’t cut it. His feelings of inadequacy caused him to behave badly.
At times, we too find ourselves behaving badly. Maybe we’ve never done anything as raucous and rancorours as Belshazzer but we’ve all misbehaved. Often it is because of our feelings of inadequacy. I’m not saying always, but often.
This is not an attempt to absolve us from the responsibiity of our actions. Quite the contrary. It’s just that, if we can understand ourselves better in this area we will be able to put an end to some of our bad behavior. Wouldn’t that be a good thing? Sure it would!
Here are three INSIGHTS FOR OVERCOMING FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY from Daniel chapter five - insights that can help us adapt our behavior.
First of all we must understand that SELF-WORTH DOES NOT COME FROM "SUCCESS". (Daniel 5:1-4)
"Success" is such an arbitrary word, but we’re using it here the way the world uses it, not the way God does, because God’s idea of success and the world’s are vastly different. In Christ’s Parable of the Talents, the servants who were "good and faithful" were rewarded. (Matthew 25:21,23) God’s idea of a successful individual is one who is "good" and "faithful". How are you doing in those two areas? That’s the gauge with God. The world on the other hand believes success is when we beat the other guy or have more stuff than he has.
Belshazzer’s ostentatious banquet is indicative of this worldview. He had the containers from the Jewish temple brought into the banquet hall as a symbol of Babylon’s conquests. He praised the gods of gold and silver, of bronze, iron, wood and stone - because they represented what his life was all about.
But being able to CONQUER THE COMPETITION and ACQUIRE WEALTH or material trinkets does not increase the value of the human soul one iota! Nor do any other trappings of worldly success.
We are not secure behind man-made walls, no matter how impregnable they may seem to our limited human perspective. Living in sin may render us a short-term advantage in our dealings with others. Trusting in false religion may serve as a temporary salve for our conscience. Ultimately, however, they leave us with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy.
If we look to this material world’s idea of "success" as the gauge of our adequacy we will be miserable. That’s why the people at the king’s banquet needed so much wine. Alcohol has long been used to make people temporarily forget how inadequate they feel.
One of the most insightful days of my life was as an eleven-year-old boy when I overheard my father say to his father, "I don’t feel like you’ve ever been happy with me." I wondered why my father drank so much. I believe he felt inadequate. I’m not blaming my grandfather for my father’s alcoholism. I wasn’t there to witness my dad’s formative years. I just know that he felt inadequate.
Any of us who struggle with feelings of inadequacy need to ask God to reveal to us what might have triggered them. Then we need to pray for healing of any memories of past events or decisions that led to our feelings of inadequacy. We also need to remember to practice forgiveness. Not one of us will make it through life without injury. Someone, somewhere will hurt us. We’re all victimized. Someone said too much, demanded too much, neglected too much.
I have good news for you! We don’t have to measure up to the unreasonable and unreachable standards of others to be adequate. We don’t even have to measure up to our own ideas of success. Each of us possesses an inherent chance for adequacy based on two fundamental truths:
#1 - God created us in His image!
#2 - Jesus went to the cross for us!
That’s how valuable we are and why we don’t have to feel inadequate. These reasons never change. They are stable. Our feelings of adequacy cannot come from a source that is not stable.
The CEO of a Fortune 500 company pulled into a service station to get gas. He went inside to pay, and when he came out he noticed his wife engaged in a deep discussion with the service station attendant. It turned out she knew him. In fact back in high school before she met her eventual husband, she used to date this man.
The CEO got in the car, and the two drove in silence. He was feeling pretty good about himself when he finally spoke: "I bet I know what you were thinking. I bet you were thinking you’re glad you married me, a Fortune 500 CEO, and not him, a service station attendant."
"No, I was thinking if I’d married him, he’d be a Fortune 500 CEO and you’d be a service station attendant."
You’d better watch what your feelings of adequacy are based on.
Which reminds me of the man who shared with his friends that he and his wife were going through "empty-nest syndrome". He said the worst part about it was once the children leave home, some wives treat their husbands like children.
For example, he said, "When we go to the grocery store and I reach for cereal, she slaps my hand and says, ’We don’t need that this week.’ Then I reach for the ice cream, and she slaps my hand and says, ’We don’t need that this week.’ I reach for the potato chips, and again she slaps my hand and says, ’We don’t need that this week.’
"I finally get so frustrated I hop out of the shopping cart and go to the car!"
So if self-worth doesn’t come from success, where does it come from? Here’s the second insight for overcoming feelings of inadequacy from Daniel 5.
ADEQUACY COMES FROM A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. (Daniel 5:5-17)
Daniel couldn’t have cared less about the offer of royal clothing, jewelry and a high position in the kingdom that Belahazzer offered him if he told the meaning of the handwriting on the wall. Unlike Belshazzer, Daniel did not seek his adequacy from fame and fortune.
Daniel had a personal relationship with God. As a matter of fact, in all of the Bible Daniel is one of the finest examples about what having a personal relationship with God is all about. He nurtured his walk with God on a daily basis as we’ll see in chapter six in our next installment in this series. He would rather be thrown into a den of lions than miss his daily time with God! He knew that without his relationship with God he would be inadequate.
If we’re going to feel adequate about ourselves we must first come to God and admit how inadequate we are without Him! Belshazzer didn’t realize this. Daniel did. And it made all the difference in the world.
Up until now in Belshazzer’s life he had been coldly indifferent to people like Daniel. When he asked for help in deciphering the message on the wall he didn’t even know Daniel existed until the Queen Mother informed him. He had looked to human wisdom instead of Divine wisdom. He had counted on himself and other humans instead of counting on God.
Belshazzer is kind of like the critics who mocked the book of Daniel for centuries. They had no record of the name Belshazzer outside the Bible so they claimed Daniel must have made it up. Well guess what? Sometime in the 19th Century archeologists discovered the Nabonidus Cylinder which, you guessed it, included the name Belshazzer.
It’s worth noting, by the way, that there never has been an archeological find that contradicted what the Bible says. Whenever the Bible says there was a city, or a culture, or a person in a certain place at a certain time - that’s exactly what the archeological evidence supports!
When we don’t seek God’s wisdom and guidance we come up short. It is no wonder we often feel inadequate since we fail to spend adequate time with the only One who can make us adequate.
Richard Marcinko, the one-time head of the U.S. Navy’s top-secret counter terrorist unit, Seal Team Six, tells several interesting stories of his exploits in his book "Rogue Warrior". Loud, profane and immoral, Marcinko blustered and bluffed his way through many life-threatening events. In Vietnam, where the Americans were often suspicious of Viet Cong posing as villagers, they were often leery of the habit the villagers had of coming up to them and touching them. They learned that the Vietnamese believed that, by touching the Americans, they could pass on their demons to them. Since that was only a silly superstition they allowed it. (Page 164)
But I’ll tell you something that isn’t just a silly superstition. We can touch God by faith - and by touching Him we can get rid of our feelings of inadequacy!
Let’s pause for a few moments on this topic and ask ourselves what’s at stake. When we feel inadequate we don’t do as well in our relationships with others. Sometimes we sacrifice our peace of mind and even our health as a result of our feelings of inadequacy. Our service to others is stymied. Almost everyone who has ever taught a Sunday school class has felt inadequate. Everyone who’s ever led in worship, served as a church officer, served others in the community, worked with youth, etc., has felt inadequate at one time or another. Those of us who’ve tried to share our faith in Christ feel inadequate at times. I have talked to plenty of pastors who have felt inadequate and I have personally felt inadequate to be a pastor lots of times.
You see, the joy of being "whole" and helping others become "whole" is often tied to our feelings of adequacy. And our feelings of adequacy are tied to our relationship to God. So we need to keep that relationship vital and fresh.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I realize we can’t base our life on our emotions. The Bible teaches us to live by faith and not by feeling. But we are emotional beings. If we can do something to adjust our feelings of inadequacy and deal with the root problem, seems we can save ourselves and others some heartache.
Okay, let’s quickly review the first two INSIGHTS FOR OVERCOMING FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY and add a third and final one.
Number one, SELF-WORTH DOESN’T COME FROM SUCCESS. (Daniel 5:1-4)
Number two, ADEQUACY COMES FROM A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. (Daniel 5:5-17)
And finally, SIN, WHICH MAKES US FEEL INADEQUATE, CAN BE FORGIVEN! (Daniel 5:18-31)
Sin is at the foundation of our feelings of inadequacy. Remember how Adam and Eve felt inadequate around God after they sinned? They had been walking with God in the Garden of Eden every evening when it was cool. Then the day they sinned, God showed up for their stroll together and Adam and Eve were hiding in shame and a sense of inadequacy. That’s what sin does. It alienates us from God. It makes us inadequate.
The Good News is, we don’t have to stay alienated from God! Sin does not have the power to keep us away from God if we accept His offer of forgiveness! Therefore it does not have the power to continue to make us feel inadequate.
Listen to Romans 5:20-21 (The Message): "All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life - a life that goes on and on and on, world without end."
Belshazzer should have known that if he didn’t deal with his sins there would be trouble. Daniel rehearses the account of Nebuchadnezzar being humbled by God for his sins. Belshazzer could have learned from the experience of one of his predecessors. But he didn’t humble himself even though he knew about Neb’s bout with insanity. (Verse 22) "Instead, you have set yourself up against the Lord of heaven." (Verse 23)
The handwriting on the wall was not only for the king. It is for all of us so we can see what happens when we do not have a personal relationship with God through His Son Jesus.
"Mene" was the first word of the handwriting. (Verse 26) Pronounced "MN", Daniel translated it to mean "numbered". The application was that the king’s days were numbered, as all of ours are. There’s a date and time in the future when we will cease to exist in our presnt state on this earth. Why try to run from it? It’s obvious. Our job is not to run from death but to embrace life in Christ.
"Tekel" was the next word. (Verse 27) Pronounced "Tek L" it meant "weighed". The king’s life was put on a set of scales and he didn’t measure up. He didn’t have a personal relationship with God to tip the scales in his favor.
"Parsin" was the final word. (Verse 28) Translated it meant, "Divided". Babylon would be divided among the Medes and Persians, just as Daniel prophecied back in chapter two. Cyrus, the king/general who led the assault on Babylon, was a Persian. Darius (Verse 31), who took over the administration of the city, was the Mede. When we die we aren’t going to take anything material with us. It’s going to be divvied up. I don’t mean to sound harsh or unkind but I’ve been to enough estate sales to know how it works.
Jesus said of the unfaithful servant, "Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents." (Matthew 25:28) Don’t let your blessings go to others because you feel too inadequate to be used by God. If you have turned to Christ in faith and have established a relationship with Him your sins are forgiven! You are no longer inadequate! God can and will bless you and use you!
If you haven’t made a faith commitment to Jesus do so today. He lovingly awaits you call and will respond with His overwhelming grace that will make you adequate!
