There was a saying when I first became a believer in Jesus Christ. It was a way of characterizing your devotion to the Lord – you’d say “I’m radically saved.” We meant that we had given all of ourselves to Him, and it was a good thing. But some people took the radical part to extremes. There were those who lived near my home town who thought the only way to be really radically saved was to live in a special place where they could pray and fellowship apart from the world in a commune. Yes, it was a big thing when I grew up – very popular in the culture of the world, and of the church. People left homes and jobs and families to do this – not necessarily because God was calling them to, but because it was a way to demonstrate just how “radical” they were for God.
Now when it comes to ridding your life of sin, being radical is a very good thing – but what can happen is we make radical changes to our lives just prove something, rather than to fulfill a mission from the Lord. And that’s the situation the Corinthians found themselves in.
To understand 1 Corinthians 7 you have to look at it with two things in mind. The first is the culture as it existed then – the concerns and the popular radical lifestyle changes swirling in that society – and the second is what Paul says in verse 29.
First, the culture – there were two schools of thought when it came to marriage, representing two opposing philosophical points of view - Asceticism vs hedonism. The hedonists thought that the body was bad and that the spirit part of you was the good part. Since the body was bad it might as well be ignored so it didn’t much matter what you did with it. The ascetics too thought that the body was bad, but they felt that you shouldn’t give in to what would be normal natural things, like sexual intimacy – even if you were married. What Paul talks about in this chapter make more sense when you understand that debate in the society and in the church.
The other thing is verse 29: “the time is short.” Paul believed the Lord was coming back right away – so live with that in mind – like tomorrow may be it. Now, there’s nothing wrong with living that way and we can learn a lot from what Paul says – but it colors the specifics that often trip up people reading this chapter.
And the question we need to answer is – given the fact that the Lord could come back any second – how far should we go in demonstrating our love and devotion to Him – even when it might mean hurting someone else?
We’re making a shift here, from Paul raising concerns over reports he’s heard, to answering questions that the Corinthians asked in a letter they sent to him.
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
OK – big problem right off the bat. Why did Paul say this? Especially in light of other places where he clearly lauds marriage – especially in Ephesians where he uses marriage as a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church.
The answer will come as we go through the chapter – but Paul is NOT putting down marriage.
2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
In other words – given the availability of sex on demand in Corinth through ritual prostitution – people who are married should have relations with their husband or wife and no other.
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.
There were those in Corinth that, though married, would abstain from intimacy because they thought it somehow “impure.” This is the Ascetic argument. Paul is saying – don’t do that. If you really want to pray and fast and seek God then be apart for a set time – but it is unnatural for two married people to purposefully not be intimate.
Forced celibacy while married is a recipe for adultery. Celibacy is a gift, Paul says, but so is marriage.
7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
So if you are single then you might really feel a calling to remain single – and Paul says that good – and he says why in just a moment. Paul was single – but its very likely that was married as that was the norm for Pharisees good Jewish men in general. The prevailing idea is that his wife left him when he became a Christian. If that’s true then what he says later makes a lot of sense.
But make sure it is your gift – don’t force yourself to remain single when you really want to find someone to spend your life with. Don’t think of yourself as “less than” because you want to marry. Married couples are extremely useful tools in the Lords hands – just look at Priscilla and Aquila, for example.
So next Paul tells the married – don’t think you are so spiritual that you need to divorce so you can be more devoted to the Lord.
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Paul says “the Lord” said this – we find it in:
Mark 10:11-12 He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
We don’t have time to go into the details of this here – get the tape on Matthew 19 for a more in-depth discussion of divorce. Paul here is saying – if you really want to divorce, maybe to be really zealous, then do it – but don’t turn around and marry someone else – if you are to be married, then be married to the one you had originally.
But in Corinth, there were a lot of mixed marries – one spouse a Christian, the other not.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Pretty straight forward – but I want to call our attention to the latter half of verse 15. “God has called us to live in peace.” If your marriage, especially to a non-believer – is constant strife, perhaps abuse – emotional or physical. You’ve tried everything you know how – prayer, counseling, self sacrifice – gone the extra 5 miles and nothing helps – I think God understands. Its not perfect, its not even good – but God has called us to live in peace – and He does not tolerate abuse.
And, we’ve got to remember the context – it was people wanting to change their life dramatically in order to serve the Lord. Its not just divorce either:
17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you-although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
What happens to us is that we think the only way to serve God is to become a missionary or go into full time ministry or leave our family to preach the gospel on the street corner. What we forget is that God wants to use you just where you are – as a teacher or a mother or an office worker or a ditch digger.
Instead of looking for some great demonstration to show God how much you love Him – let God demonstrate His love through you in everyday life.
At the same time Paul tells the Corinthians to get out of being a slave if they could – and he personally helped free slaves who had become believers. But we also read about a lot of slaves who brought the gospel into the households of their masters – if they had just bolted as soon as they got saved, how would the others have heard?
So next Paul switches back to the idea of marriage, given the times they lived in – but the message is still the same.
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
Paul says – look, marriage is good – but with the persecutions going on in that day, being married is going to make it more difficult for you. Don’t shake your life up too much – don’t panic!
29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
This is really good advice – but we shouldn’t take it as totally literal – live as if you are not married – just say to your husband or wife “I’m not really married so I’m going to act as if I don’t know you” or something like that.
Don’t make radical lifestyle changes just to do it, but don’t let your marriage, or your job, or your lifestyle step in between you and doing what God has called you to.
The word in verse 31 “engrossed” is a Greek word that means “to overuse.” We can get so caught up in the world – and we need to treat it with a light touch.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
The point here is just that you need to take into consideration the needs of your husband or wife – he’s not downing marriage – but we should also not enter into it lightly thinking – Oh, things will be just the way they were.
Now next is probably referring to a cultural thing going on in that day, when people would become engaged, even married, then live together without intimacy.
36 If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin-this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Basically again – if God has gifted both of you to be single – great – but if not, then get married!
Conclusion
So based on what Paul is saying in this chapter – how can you determine when its right to make changes in your life after becoming a believer?
1. Your lifestyle/occupation causes you to sin
When God called Paul, He instantly changed his occupation from a Christian killer to a Christian maker. If you live in a lifestyle that is sinful then change it – producing pornographic movies would be an example, a drug pusher, or even working in a business where you are forced into breaking the law – maybe as an energy trader for Enron or something.
Romans 6:1-3 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?
2. You need sufficient maturity to hear God speak – and act on what He says
We don’t let babies decide they want to take the Buick out for a spin – it would be unhealthy for them and quite possibly dangerous for them and others. In a similar way – creating radical changes to your life direction soon after becoming a believer may be premature. Paul told the Corinthians not to change their position – it doesn’t mean we never change – but it is more difficult for the young believer to tell God’s voice.
Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
3. Listen to God calling – not others
Every Christian with a vibrant relationship with the Lord wants to do “great things for God.” Sometimes we see a great Christian leader and we want to be just like them. Now it’s a good thing to imitate godly people as they follow Christ – but admiration for a person can sometimes keep us from following God’s calling. Then when it doesn’t happen we get disappointed.
1 Corinthians 12:17-19 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
4. Don’t be dependent on circumstances, but don’t fear them either
Use wisdom from God, common sense, and God’s peace – see James 3. God can and does close doors – but sometimes we are to pray for the door to open, not turn away.
5. God can give you what you need, but He often works through what you already possess.
Don’t think you have to have a million dollars to give before you “count” for the Lord. Don’t think you have to have a doctorate in theology. As long as you are letting the Lord mold your character – He is making you into the person who can be used – with no more than your life and your voice.
