May 11, 2003
"Women of Faith" 1 Peter 3:1-7
Pastor Jon MacKinney
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Christianity, our faith, is most challenging when we read passages of Scripture like the one we read last week. From the chapter before the one Chris just read in 1 Peter 2:21 where it says, "To this you were called. Because Christ suffered for you leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps." And we saw last week that what we were called to was this life manifested and exemplified by Christ of obedient faith. We see other passages that are equally tough, like Philippians 2 "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who being the very form of God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. But made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant." Or also in the book of Philippians, verse 10 of chapter 3, "I want to know Christ, the power of his resurrection, the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings." Now I say those things and you’re going to say, "Well, certainly Pastor Jon is not going to ruin Mothers Day by preaching from such a passage." Well, you’ve already gotten a hint from the passage that Chris read from 1 Peter 3, that in fact I am going to ruin Mothers Day. But I think we’ll find out that…. Well, first of all, let me just say that I didn’t plan it this way. I planned to preach through 1 Peter and I laid out the passages and lo and behold on Tuesday this week I said, "Wow, this is Mothers Day and look what I’m preaching." "Wives be submissive to your husbands." Thank you all for staying, by the way, after Chris read the passage and you’re still here.
I would like to suggest, though, that few passages in Scripture elevate Christian motherhood and womanhood better and higher than this passage right here – in the context in which it is found. Because remember what the context is saying. We make the mistake so often of taking a passage of Scripture like this and pulling it out and talking about it as if it was written in its own book – the book of 1 Peter 3:1-6. But the fact of the matter is that this passage is written in a letter, in a context that is calling all people, all believers, to this same kind of life. And that is the life of faithful obedience to God, for believing in God and following the example of Jesus which led Him to the cross. And in that context, then, as Peter has talked about the situation of citizen to country, has talked about the relationship of slave to master, has talked about the relationship of Jesus to His Father; now talked about the relationship of wives to their husbands.
As we look at this passage, let’s look at it in that context. Asking, "What characteristic is God looking for in believing women? What are the hidden treasures that God seeks in us?" It shouldn’t be a surprise. It shouldn’t be a surprise to us in this context that God is looking for the expression, the manifestation, of faith in the lives of women who are His beautiful daughters.
He’s looking first for faith in God’s redemptive purpose. If you were here last week, you might remember that this is the exact same faith that we talked about last week in the third point that Jesus had faith in the redemptive purpose of God when He went to the cross. And if you look at the last few verses of chapter 2, "He Himself bore our sin," verse 24, "in his body on the tree so that (for the purpose) that we might die to sins and live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed." We have been redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ.
Now Peter writes, and he uses the word "in the same way," or it’s the word "homoios" where we get "the same." He says, "In the same way." Let’s not whip by that little phrase like it doesn’t matter, because what he’s saying is "Just like Jesus had faith in His Father, even to the point of death, he says, "In the same way (as found in that same example), wives I want you to be submissive to your husbands." Both require the same character of faith and for some it requires more faith than for others. This word "submissive," by the way (and this is important to notice) does not carry at all the implication or the connotation of inferiority, that "Women, you’re inferior, so get bossed around." That’s not what it says. The word that is used here is a word that is a military term for subordination. In the military there is a certain chain of command, if you will, that starts up at the general level and works down and each person has someone to whom they’re accountable. And even the generals are accountable to the Commander in Chief, in this case George Bush. God set it up this way on purpose so that there would be people who would be able to plan and organize and lead. And there would be people who would carry out those wishes. Imagine an army that was made up purely of five star generals. The only thing that would get done is that a lot of golf would be played. But in terms of actually fulfilling the purpose for which the army exists, nothing would happen because a general is only as good as the people to whom he gives orders and that they will subordinate themselves to carry that out.
Now, Christian wives are called to this relationship not because they’re weaker, not because they’re somehow inferior, but because that’s the way God set it up. But this situation can get a little bit muddled in our minds when there is a believing wife with a non-believing spouse, as which there were many here in this situation. After all you have to remember that this is the first century of Christianity. Many of these people had heard the Gospel from Peter, from Paul, from someone, had responded to it and maybe the wife had responded to the Gospel but her husband had not. And so suddenly she finds herself in a situation where she is called to submit to the authority of a man who is not himself submitting to the authority of God and might have come up with the conclusion of, "Hey, maybe I’m no longer under his authority, because after all he’s not under God, so I just don’t need to be under him anymore." Maybe some of those men were brutal. Maybe some of those men were unkind. Maybe some of those men had a view of submission that I heard about one man. John Piper, a pastor from Minneapolis, writes this, he says, "I actually sat in my office once with a husband who believed that submission meant that his wife should not go from one room to another in the house without asking his permission." Now, I want you to know that since I had that conversation with John, I have quit doing that. But you can imagine a woman who has that kind of that kind of husband who has those kinds of malodorous commands for her, would say, "I’m not going to submit to this guy. Why should I?" God’s answer here in verse 1 is, "Yeah, you should." Just like Jesus put Himself under the authority of those who killed him. Why? To achieve the redemptive purposes of God.
Look at what it says, "So that." And whenever you see the words "so that" that’s a purpose statement, here’s the reason. You don’t just submit to your husband so you get brownie points or you get an extra gold crown in heaven. You submit to your husband, so that (in the situation where he is not a believer) he would, without you having to say a word, say, "Man, my wife is the best wife in the city. It’s a delight to live with her. I wonder how she got that way? I wonder if this faith in Jesus Christ that she has has anything to do - because I have to say that I’ve seen a change in her from the day she put her faith in Christ. I’ve seen this growing loveliness and beauty in her that I can’t describe any other way." Jesus raises the thought, the idea, of submission to great heights. Some people are told to submit is a sign of weakness. We have to be strong. "I am woman. Hear me roar. And I’ll keep talking so you won’t ignore me. And I will not submit. Submission is weakness." Okay. It wasn’t too good for Jesus who submitted all the way to the cross.
Let’s look at that phrase, "If any of them do not believe the word they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." This is a statement of tremendous power. And, ladies, you know men are almost as difficult to understand as women. Though, in many ways we’re much more simple. Here’s the deal when it comes to men: If you tell us to do something, we probably won’t. Amen? What is it about the simple suggestion that we pull into a gas station and ask for directions that causes us to grip the wheel with both hands, set our mouth in a pout and drive for hours in the wrong direction? And all of us will say it’s because our wife told us to, that’s why. There’s something about it. And you know what? As we get a little older and as we grow in the Lord, slowly and somewhat painfully, this natural resistance dies and we find out that our wives suggestions are often very, very good. But, of course, this resistance can lead to frustration in our wives and the frustration can lead to something that – I don’t know how this word actually developed, but it has a certain ring to it – but it’s called nagging.
Nagging is something we do when we are trying to get someone to do something that either they won’t do or they haven’t got around to doing. Sometimes for years something needs to be done. I heard of a man who called his wife Peg, even though that wasn’t her real name. When asked why he did that. He said, "Well, Peg is short for Pegasus. And Pegasus was an immortal horse. And an immortal horse is an eternal nag. And that’s why I call my wife Peg." You know, I’ve never known anyone to be nagged into the Kingdom. Anyone know anybody that nagged into the Kingdom? "Come on, you gotta accept Christ! You gotta accept Christ!" Finally, after about an hour, "Alright I’ll do it!" It doesn’t happen that way. But, do you know anyone who in response to the lovely character of a believing wife was drawn to the Lord?
Women, you’ve got a tough case on your hands. Three out of four of you are verbal. You like to talk and listen. Did you know that three out of four men are visual? They’ve got to see it to believe it. To take a verbal learner like your man probably is and to try to nag him into the Kingdom or try to get him to do anything just by talking, anything significant, is tough. It requires faith. It requires tremendous faith for a wife or a mother to demonstrate by submission of her own desires to the needs of her husband or children so that they would come to Christ. That God would use her life for redemptive purposes, even when every ounce of her being wants to chivvy her husband into the Kingdom or do something with words. Now that doesn’t mean that women can’t talk anymore. That’s not what it says. But it says, let your life reflect the change. Be in a position of submission. Every husband knows that it’s difficult for their wives to submit to them. We really know that, don’t we? We really know that it’s harder than it should be, at times, because of the things we ask and because of what we do not do that we really should. We’ll get to that a little later. But, wives, demonstrate faith in God’s redemptive purposes not just with your unsaved husband, but with your believing husband. We may have been redeemed, but there’s a lot of work to be done.
Secondly, this faith in God’s redemptive purpose is also faith in the superiority of God’s hidden values. Faith in the superiority of God’s hidden values. I don’t have to convince you that our world has been, is, and always will be, tremendously focused on outward appearance. I mean, after all, when God brought Eve to Adam there was a reason why he said (and this is another translation), "Yee haw!" when he saw Eve. He was enthusiastic.
Women have been given by God a sense of beauty and of order and of harmony that enriches our world. Now once in a while you’ll find a guy with this, but it’s mostly given to women. In fact, the word here that is translated in verse 3 "your beauty," is a very interesting Greek word. It’s the word ’cosmos.’ Now when we think of cosmos, we think of the universe and Carl Sagan. The cosmos. Well, actually this is a word that has grown to be descriptive of the universe. But what about the universe that it’s cosmos? It’s that it’s orderly and beautiful and harmonious. And that’s what the word means. Women have the ability and the interest to make themselves and the world around them cosmos; beautiful, harmonious.
I don’t know if you’ve ever walked into the apartment or the dorm room of a single guy. But, it can be a negative experience, even if you’re that single guy. Now this isn’t always the case and maybe I’m taking myself too much as a literal example. But, typically, single guys by themselves aren’t interested in making their living space pretty. If they can buy some bed sheets at Wal Mart and hang them over the curtain rods, they’re great. And if they’re both the same color that’s just a bonus. The food in the refrigerator, when it turns green, it’s time to get it out of there – maybe. Unless they can get the green part off and eat the rest. There’s just a certain disinterest. But, you get that guy and you hook him up in marriage to a woman and things tend to change. That vase that his mother gave him has now got flowers in it. The bedspread matches the carpet. And there’s that fuzzy thing on the toilet seat – well, I mean on the top of it. All kinds of stuff happens. Corners get cleaned. And it’s kind of cool. And a lot of men like that. That’s the nature of women. They take better care of themselves too. Any guy here with makeup on this morning? Maybe you wouldn’t raise your hand if you did. But the women have it on. They’re trying to have it on so you can’t tell they have it on, but they have it on. And they worked harder on their hair. Their clothes actually match their shoes. There’s all kinds of stuff going on with the ladies.
But here’s what Peter says, your beauty (and I know that you have a natural propensity to do it this way) so I wanted to warn you that your beauty should not; that is, the priority of your life should not be your outward appearance. Peter’s not saying here, "So dress in rags and come to public things with your hair just right off the pillow, like nothing happened to it. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, who cares." That’s not what he’s saying. He’s saying that’s not the focus of your attention. Don’t dress yourself up like some Hollywood superstar and think that, "This is me." Because, really, there’s something that’s more significantly you, down deep. And he talks about it here in verse 4. "Instead, it should be that of your inner self.( ’The hidden man of the heart’ is the literal translation), the unfading, incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth to God."
Here’s the thing: because of our nature we can typically focus or make one thing or another the focal point of our attention, the priorities of our life. When we were in high school we could do all kinds of things, couldn’t we? When I was in high school, I played football and wrestled. I played tennis and baseball and track. I was on student government. I was in choir and also in there I studied once in a while. But did you notice that when you got to college you couldn’t do all those things? If you were a football player, like Tom, you played football year round. If you’re in the band, you’re in the band. You can’t be a football player and in the band because the band plays at half time. So, there’s a focusing, a prioritizing that happens in college that doesn’t necessarily happen in high school. And this is just what Peter is saying here. Make your focus not the external, but make your focus the internal, who you are inside because what’s inside is what matters, what counts.
Look at what he says. "The unfading beauty, " there in verse 4. Unfading. That word means incorruptible. It doesn’t go away. This is something that grows. This is something that gets deeper and more beautiful as time goes on. While outward beauty may be heading south, because of all kinds of factors – dry skin, and all kinds of things –inner beauty just gets better and better.
Now look at verse 4. It says, "The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." Now we hear those words and if you’ve got the King James it probably reads, "meek and quiet," which is the actual Greek word. It means meek. But you know what we’ve done with the word meek, don’t you? We’ve taken the word meek and rhymed it with the other word which has "eek" sound, which is ’weak’ and we’ve decided that being meek means to be weak. And so you say a weak and quiet spirit and we come up with this little picture of a mouse scurrying around, afraid of everything, never speaking. We even have a phrase, a word we use, we say, "She’s mousy." Mousiness. This is not what Peter is saying here.
One Greek scholar has said this about the word meek, "It is the gentleness of spirit in which we accept God’s dealing with us and so do not dispute or resist." It’s a spirit of submission, a spirit of acceptance. Was Jesus weak on the cross? No way! Was Jesus meek on the cross? Absolutely. He accepted God’s plan for Him and for us. The picture contained in this word is of a person in the middle of crisis who is serene with an inner tranquility. There’s nothing weak about it. When Jesus was executed, the people around Him here weeping, shouting, at their wits end, and Jesus was calm and quiet and serene because He knew He was doing what God had called Him to do and accepted that call. This kind of beauty is not going to be featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. It’s not. It’s not gonna make it. I’m sorry. Well, I’m not really sorry because what you will make is God’s All-Star team. These are qualities that are of great worth in God’s sight. The applause of the world is short-lived. We’ve all seen it. Anybody here who’s lived more than thirty years has seen people rise to great heights and fall to great depths. But when God raises you up and exalts you because of your faith in His plan, His way, there is great, there is eternity of exaltation. The values that God has called us to manifest, and has called women to manifest are eternal values. They’re hidden. But they’re far, far superior to what the world wants you to chase.
Thirdly, God calls women to a faith that rejects fear and does what is right. Faith that rejects fear and does what is right. Now Peter uses a very interesting example here in verses 5 and 6 when he says, "This is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." And he uses an example of, "Like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
Now it’s interesting that he uses Sarah as an example here because Sarah was not married to an unbeliever. In fact, Sarah was married to the greatest, to the father of all believers. One of whom it was said, "He believed in God and it was credited to him as righteousness." And so we say, "Well, Sarah had it easy. Certainly Abraham was an easy man to submit to. He was so godly and such a wonderful godly leader and whatever he said it was just implicitly obvious that it was right." Except on the day that he told her, "Well, you know what Sarah? We’ve got a little problem here. The King, the Pharaoh of Egypt, thinks you’re really hot. After all, you are sixty-five years old, but he thinks you’re beautiful and he wants you and if he sees that you’re my wife then he might have to kill me to take you. So, let’s say (And there’s a half-truth to this) that you’re my sister." Because, in fact, Sarah was the half-sister of Abraham. "So, let’s do that and then you can go and it will spare my life." So Sarah was taken into the harem of the Pharaoh of Egypt. Now God got around that situation before anything happened, but several years later when Sarah was ninety, she was still a babe. And a guy called Abimilech said, "I want that woman." And Abraham said, "Well, she’s my sister." And back she goes into another harem. Now God got her out of that one too, but not before she had a couple of nice days of spa treatment. Didn’t have to sleep in the tent, probably got some good food. But He got her out of that one as well. And can you imagine what it was like in the tent that night when Sarah came back from her second trip to the harem? Do you think she had anything to say to Abraham? Would you have had anything to say to Abraham? "We’ve gotta work this brother/sister thing out here, Abe, before things get really nasty." When she couldn’t believe in Abrahams ideas, she still believed in God. Didn’t give in to fear.
Verse 5 says it so beautifully, "This is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." Faith is a beautifier. Faith makes a person more beautiful. When you submit to your husbands, you’re submitting to God.
I was thinking about this yesterday. And I thought about something that maybe has been obvious to you for years, but it just became clear to me yesterday. When God created Adam, He saw a need. A need that no other creature in His created world could fulfill. Adam presented certain specialized problems that required God to create a specialized mate for him. And so He made a woman. Women are special creations of God unlike any other of God’s beings. Woman was the only being of God that was created by God for a specialized need.
I’m going to use an example here, but don’t get mad at me for comparing you to a hammer. But a hammer, specifically a roofing hammer, is a great example of this and again, please. There’s a lot of difference between a woman and a hammer, and I know that. But if you’ve ever had a roofing hammer, you know what this is. A roofing hammer is a hammer that has a nice square hammerhead on it, to pound the nail. It’s also got on the side of it, a little gnuereled knob that you can undo and slide back and forth to gauge the height of how far you’re going to push the shingle up and gauge it that way. Once you find the right distance, you just tighten that thing and it’s right all the time. And at the end of it it’s got a little knife, one of those nice exacto blades that you can replace. All in one tool. Now who do you suppose… do you think that somebody sitting in an office somewhere invented the roofing hammer? Of course not. It was obviously invented by a roofer who said, "You know if we only had…" It was a specialized tool for a specialized trade for a specialized purpose. And the sewing machine is the same kind of thing. I think somebody who sat there doing this said, "I wish there was a machine that could do this better and faster." Many of our inventions come from need and that’s what a woman is. A woman is a specialized creation of God to fulfill a very specific and important need, and really needs, that men have and children have.
Now in that life, then, God calls women to specialized responses. He says to women, "I made your man, your husband, a leader. But leaders are nothing without followers, are they? So, I’m going to make your man the leader. But I’m going to make you specifically for the purpose of being a helper, a submitter, a follower. And you are going to find great joy in that because that’s what you were designed for." Now women can do one of two things. They can give in to fear and say, "Yeah, but if I do that then he’ll order me around or boss me around and I’ll get into all kinds of bad situations." Well, maybe. But who’s your faith in? Or they can submit to God and to their husband.
"You are their daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." It’s very interesting, in that little phrase there, "do not give way to fear," in the Greek it’s two negatives and two different words for fear. In fact the NASB has translated it this way, "Without being frightened by any fear." This is the bottom line about faith: If I do give way to fear then that means I quit trusting God and put in place a plan of my own. "God, this situation calls for me to put You on the shelf and put my own plan, Plan B, in place. Because I don’t trust Your plan." The Bible is full of people who did that. I can think of the Israelites standing at the foot of Mount Sinai wondering where Moses has gone. Saying, "He’s been gone too long. We can’t wait around any longer. I’m getting nervous. I’m getting afraid, so let’s make up a new god. Let’s build a golden calf and worship that instead because we don’t know what’s happened to Moses." Or when the same group of people come to the border of the Promised Land, to Kadesh Barnea, and they get this report back from the twelve spies. Ten say the land is great, but the people are big and we can’t do it. Two say the land is great, the people are big, but we can handle it with God’s power. And the people come up with Plan B, which is cry all night and then say, "Let’s go back to Egypt where at least we had leeks and onions. "We’re tired of manna burgers, or manna bread." Fear gets us into trouble because it causes us to come up with a better plan, what we think is better than God’s plan. Women of faith resist fear and instead do what is right. Have faith that God will accomplish His perfect will in her and through her.
Now I want to talk to the men and the children for just a minute, because verse 7 has some specific statements to us, "Husbands." And notice it says, "in the same way," it’s the same idea. Now husbands are called from a leadership position to submit themselves to their wives, to submit to their wives’ needs, to put their wives’ needs above their own. And any good leader always puts the needs of his followers ahead of his own. After all, he is trying to lead them somewhere and he puts their needs and good before his own. The woman that God has given to us has a very tough job, a specialized creation of God called to a life of service. And it tells us how we should treat her, "In the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives." That word means ’understanding.’
You see now I’ve learned this. I’ve learned it the hard way. And I’m still learning it. If I want to be considerate of my wife then I need to look at things the way she does. And I guarantee you she looks at things differently than me. So, when I look in the back yard and see the grass up to above my ankles, I think maybe we should get a goat in here. Or when I see the junk laying around or when I see that when I hang my clothes instead of in the closet, on the bedpost and it gets higher and higher, I think. If I look at it through my wife’s eyes, that is not cosmo. It’s not harmonious. She knows where those clothes belong, one of two places, and that ain’t one of them. So I’ve learned to be considerate of my wife means to help her in the job that she is doing.
It says here that I’m supposed to be considerate as I live with my wife. "Treat them with respect as the weaker partner." Now ’weaker partner’ here can cause a lot of …. It’s just talking about physical. The word for partner is the word vessel. As Paul talks about him and his vessel in 2 Corinthians 4. It’s just a body. And women aren’t physically as strong as men. Men are bigger. Men have, because of testosterone, more musculature and that’s just the way it is. So, that means that when you’re wife goes to the grocery store and comes back with ten grocery bags full of stuff, you don’t just sit there watching TV while she lugs them in. And it’s kind of obvious, but sometimes we need a little help. You get up off your chair and go out there. Or at least send the kids out there to help her, for Pete’s sake. When she’s doing something that requires strength, that’s one thing we can do guys, we can lift things most of the time. You see. She needs the help. She’s serving me, let me help her serve me and my family. Bring in the groceries. Run the vacuum. I think some chiropractor said that pushing a vacuum cleaner, unless you’ve got one of those Kirby self-propelled ones, is very hard on the lower back. Any of your wives agree with that statement? Nothing says we can’t do it. All it is is a little foot switch and it doesn’t take long. It makes you feel like you’re getting a lot done even though it may not even be working. You can see little tracks in the carpet – hey I vacuumed the carpet. But we need to help. Come along side. Be considerate of our wives, because they’re heirs with us of the gracious gift of God.
Our wives are called to trust God. And sometimes that’s a very, very difficult task. Let’s not make it harder than it already is. Guys, kids, let’s not make it any harder than it already is to be a wife and a mom. Honor her. Treat her with the respect that she deserves as a specialized, wonderful, gracious creation of God for t
