“Reactions Speak Louder”
I Corinthians 13:5
February 9, 2003
Love of Another Kind – I Corinthians 13
Donny Osmond’s back, the man who’s been a teenager for 35 years, and now he’s hosting a throwback show; it’s now just called “Pyramid”, but for years we knew it as the “$20,000 Pyramid”. If you remember how the game is played, play along with me…but silently! I’ll give the clues: a woman in the Express line with a full cart; kids leaving clothes all over the floor; getting cut off in traffic; politicians voting themselves a big pay raise; husbands who leave the seat up! Yeah, you know the answer: things that tick you off! Today we continue our study of I Corinthians 13 by looking at the subject of anger, and how love responds. Stand with me as we read I Corinthians 13!
Getting a Grip on Anger
There was an elderly woman preparing to park her expensive Cadillac when a young high school student cut her off and stole her parking place. The young man jumped out of his car and shouted " OH, TO BE YOUNG AND FAST ". The older lady backed her car up, then floored it and started using it for a battering ram to demolish the young man’s car. She then rolled down her window and shouted, " OH, TO BE OLD AND RICH." Can you identify with the lady? Been there…wanted to do that?
The word anger is used two-hundred and sixty-two times in over two-hundred and fifty-six verses in the Bible. It’s pretty important that we get a grip on the subject, and on the godly response to it. Paul says that “love is not provoked”. Calvin calls love “a bridle to repress quarrels”. How can we allow love to act as that bridle, as we are empowered by the indwelling Spirit?
I. Realize what anger is
Some translations add the qualifying adverb “easily”, as in “love is not easily provoked.” While this word does not appear in the text, it seems obvious that this is the author’s intent. Peterson: “love doesn’t fly off the handle”. It is not that there is never a place for anger—we’ll talk about that, but James puts it well in James 1:19, which says we are to be “slow to anger”. This is the gist of what is being said here—the word “easily” is not in the original, but seems the sense of what is being said.
Paroxuno is the Greek word, and it means “to arouse to anger”. From this comes the English word “paroxysm”, which means a sudden outburst or convulsion of emotion.
This deals with our reactions; what happens when we are
treated rudely?
misunderstood?
attacked?
lied about?
ignored?
abused?
Responses:
Irritation
Seething Anger
Outbursts
Cursing
“The Look”
Anger comes naturally. Go to the nursery. Walk over to the sweetest little baby in a crib. Take away his bottle, or let his diaper go unattended, and that sweet, innocent child will contort his face into something that looks like it’s right out of The Exorcist; he’ll turn beet red, and he’ll let out a scream so loud we’ll hear it a block away. Anger is perfectly normal—but Christians are not supposed to be normal people!
No one is immune to the temptation to be provoked, to be irritated, to be angered, to be aggravated. Most of us give in to the temptation regularly! Moses was considered to be a very humble person (Number 12:3) and yet he lost it when the Israelites grumbled.
Anger, then, is a natural, sin-based reaction to some stimulus.
II. Realize what anger does
A. To others
America has a problem handling its anger. This past year, over half of the murders in America were committed by people who knew the victim. Six million wives were beaten by their husbands. Ten million children were beaten by their parents to the point of abuse. The evening news is full of this kind of stuff.
“Telling our wives or husbands that we love them is not convincing if we continually get upset and angry at what they say and do. Telling our children that we love them is not convincing if we often yell at them for doing things that irritate us and interfere with our own plans. It does no good to protest, ‘I lose my temper a lot, but it’s all over in a few minutes.’ So is a nuclear bomb. A great deal of damage can be done in a very short time. Temper is always destructive, and even small temper ‘bombs’ can leave much hurt and damage, especially when they explode on a regular basis. Lovelessness is the cause of temper, and love is the only cure” (John MacArthur).
B. To me
“Anger management” is in vogue nowadays. Prepping for this sermon, I read one message which involved a six-point outline on doing just this. In fact, what I am reading from some other Christian leaders and pastors seems to me to emphasize the wrong thing about anger. One writes “anger has a place to play in the life of the Christian”. Well, maybe, but it seems to me that our words to believers ought not to encourage anger, but to warn against it. For every word that needs to be said to suggest that we ought to become angry about injustice (and sure, there’s a place for that), we ought to say 10 to warn against anger’s corrosive properties in our lives. While the Scripture does allow for the place of righteous anger, the continual counsel of the Bible is that anger is a dangerous thing we ought not monkey around with, that we ought to avoid, and that isn’t good at all, either for us or for others.
Anger is extremely dangerous; it is injurious to all concerned, generally speaking. Those who want to “manage” it are, I believe, soft-pedaling its destructive tendencies. If I have a timber rattler in my bedroom, I suppose I could engage in “rattler management” (which would be better than just giving the thing free run of the place!), but I’m better off to chop the head off that monster.
Neil Warren wrote a book called Make Anger Your Ally. I’m not so sure I want to do that. I’m not so sure I find biblical warrant for doing that. I haven’t read the book; perhaps what he’s driving at is good, I don’t know. I’m just not taken with that title. I don’t want to make the timber rattler my ally.
Paul, in Colossians 3, lumps “anger” in with a list that includes these items: wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech, lying, immorality, impurity, evil desire, greed, and idolatry. Something I manage is something that ought be kept; anger is not described thusly.
So I’m not convinced; I don’t want to “manage” my anger; I want to defuse it, get rid of it (except when it is truly righteous, which is rarely!), put it away from me, jettison if for good! Perhaps this is semantics, but I’m really not so sure. There is a close association between sin & anger.
Anger costs us. Let’s count some of those costs:
1. Makes me a fool
Proverbs 29:11 – “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” When I vent my spleen, I show that I’m a fool, the Bible says.
2. Can quickly escalate
Rage can quickly becomes bitterness; the person toward whom you are bitter might well be someone who mistreated you, or at least you perceive that; okay. But do you realize that when settled anger turns into bitterness in your spirit, that person is victimizing you all over again? Hebrews 12:15 says that we must be careful “that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”
3. Deceives me
I think that it is something I can allow to live in me without detriment. I think it really isn’t a big deal. One way is that it
4. Tempts me to justify sin
Anger is one of those things that some Christians tend to try to justify, either by claiming that their indignation is righteous, or by excusing it away: “well, I’ve just always had a temper; that’s just the way I am.” Well, of course it’s the way you are, but that’s what Jesus is for!
5. May even have health consequences!
Proverbs 19:19 says, "A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty." We’re being told that almost every day. Doctors tell us that losing our temper consistently brings about high blood pressure, dryness of mouth, & a fast-beating heart. Anger might even send you to an early grave!
C. To God!
In Matthew 5:21, Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, `Do not murder, & anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” What’s the point? God takes the sin of anger seriously because it is an affront to His character of holiness!
I realize what anger is and what it does, the tremendous toll it takes.
III. Look at everything through the lens of God’s Word
Anger, remember, is a reaction. It is a reaction to people, or to events, or to myself, even, or to something else. How do I view other people? Do I view them as a nuisance? Do I view them as inferior? Do I view them as a necessary evil? Do I view them as impediments to me getting whatever it is I want? Or do I view people through the lens of God’s grace, through the eyes of love? When I see things as God sees things; when my thoughts about people line up with God’s thoughts, I will more readily treat them with grace. What about events that take place? Perhaps it makes sense to be angry if everything is just random, if there is no purpose to this world and to human history, but if there is a God Who is in control of history, even though I might not be able to understand it, I can rest in His sovereignty.
IV. Choose Your Friends Carefully
Proverbs 22:24-25 – “Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” Proverbs 15:18 says, "A hot tempered man stirs up dissension." And the Bible reminds us that “bad company corrupts good morals.”
Anger is contagious. If the people with whom I surround myself are people given to anger and rage, it will often rub off on me; I will “learn to be like them”, according to Proverbs. Fair question: who are you choosing as friends? Even better question: in which direction is the primary influence flowing? Are you influencing others toward Christ, or are they influencing you away? Choose your friends carefully if you would overcome anger.
V. Purposely return good for evil
Romans 12:17 says to “never pay back evil for evil to anyone.” Make a conscious decision not to respond in like manner as you are treated; rather, remember the Golden Rule. Jesus said to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
There were two men who were neighbors, one a businessman and one a farmer. The businessman didn’t care for the farmer, and had a unique way of showing it. The businessman had two horses, and about once a month he would surreptitiously toss the horse manure over the fence on the farmer’s property. Grist for a fight, to be sure! But the farmer, being a man of character, decided that the best thing he could do would be to plant a garden—right where the manure landed—and from the hateful intentions of one sprang a garden of beauty. So it is when we determine not to repay evil for evil, but rather to repay good for that evil.
VI. When it does crop up, deal with it…then!
Some suggest that each person has a particular amount of anger in his/her life, and that the thing to do is to “express yourself”, get that anger out and off your chest, and then things will be better. No; you don’t have an “anger bucket”; you have an “anger factory”. Express anger and it will likely lead to more anger! So we have to deal with anger when we feel it. How?
Paul gives us help in Ephesians 4. He tells us not to “let the sun go down upon your anger”, because doing so “gives the devil a foothold”. It is as though an unwillingness to deal properly with anger is equated to a standing invitation for Satan to pester you. When I fail to deal with anger as it arises, I run the risk of allowing bitterness to take root in my life, of allowing myself to be controlled by a slow, burning, building anger that guts my Christian experience of vitality.
Proverbs 19:11 says, "A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It is to his glory to overlook an offense." This is our best option, whenever possible, to choose to “overlook an offense”. If we have taken seriously the truth that “love does not seek its own”, and thus renounced our rights as we discussed last week, then we are able to often exercise ourselves not to take offense. This is the optimal choice. Sometimes, of course, confrontation is necessary. When this is the case, let’s find that balance of love we discussed a couple of weeks back: speak the truth in love, as Paul tells us! Regardless, love works hard not to be provoked to anger; love will cause us to deal with offenses instead of allowing them to simmer.
VII. What about “righteous indignation”?
Is there a place for righteous indignation? Yes. Is your indignation righteous just because you say it is? No!
If Jesus got angry, and He did, then anger by itself must not necessarily be wrong. There are times when anger is an acceptable, even necessary, position. God is a God Who is angered by sin; we His people ought to have a righteous indignation when we see the proliferation of sin.
What characterizes indignation that is truly righteous?
Does not involve something done against us personally – When Jesus was abused, vilified, mistreated, He never once lashed back. He was, however, concerned when God’s name was not honored. Paul was jailed, stoned, etc.; his comeback was, for instance, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm; the Lord repay him.”
Does involve an injustice done against another
Does involve the profaning of God, His purpose, His will
Involves acting when to not act would constitute indifference; does not content itself to simply feel the emotion of anger without taking action to right the wrong. One group that has taken righteous indignation and channeled it productively is M.A.D.D. They work to eliminate drunk driving, spurred on by their anger at the damage that such irresponsible behavior inflicts on others.
Expresses itself the right way, in Christ-like love; hates the sin, while loving the sinner!
Checks its motives and attitudes constantly, remembering that sin is so often so insidiously interwoven with anger. It is difficult to be angry and not to sin, but it isn’t impossible.
Righteous indignation is ruthless honest about motives and attitudes, and doesn’t allow itself to cross the line into sin.
Conclusion: How we deal with anger may make a profound difference in the testimony we project.
Some sailors who were working on a ship in harbor noticed an elderly man engaged in his business on the pier. One sailor laughingly said to another, “You can’t make that old man angry no matter what you do to him.” The sailor who was addressed immediately took this as a challenge, and snatching up a bucket of tar ran up to the old man and dashed its contents all over him. The old man started back at this surprise attack and said in a mild voice, “Young man, the Savior says, Whoso shall offend one of these that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were cast into the depths of the sea. Now, since I am one of these who do believe in Him, will He not consider that you have very much offended me?” The sailor turned away quite ashamed and perplexed at the spirit that the injured Christian exhibited. The picture of the old man covered with tar and looking at him with mingled pity and displeasure stayed with him and led him to go back and ask him to forgive him and pray for him. The elderly Christian was very ready to do both; and not long afterward the sailor became a Christian.
Love is not easily provoked!
