Honoring Our Father and Mother
Deuteronomy 5:16
Evening Service for 2/16/2003
Introduction:
A. On her 60th birthday, a woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her last will and testament. She went to her rabbi to make two final requests: First, she insisted on cremation. “What is your second request?” the rabbi asked. “I want my ashes scattered over Bloomingdale’s.” “Bloomingdales. Why over Bloomingdale’s?” the rabbi said. “Then I”ll be sure that my daughters visit me twice a week.”
B. This commandment was taken seriously by the Israelites. Leviticus 20:9- For everyone that cureses his father or his mother shall be surely put to death; he that curses his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.
C. Many times parents will remind their children of this commandment and it is for the children. However, it is even more for the adults.
D. Children do not understand but parents, adults do.
Thesis: Why should we follow this commandment? How can we follow this commandment?
For instances:
1. Why?
A. Our children follow our example. If we don’t care about our parents, if we don’t care about our own family, then our children will not care about us.
1. A Harvard University study found that 6 out of every 10 juvenile delinquents had fathers who drank to excess; many had mothers who did the same; 3 out of 4 delinquents lacked parental interest or discipline; and 4 out of 5 had parents who took no interest in their friends or amusements. Many wayward children come from broken homes, and few have religious training of any kind.
2. Proverbs 22:6- Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
3. One congregation found that where both parents were faithful to the Lord, and that includes active interest in the local congregation’s programs, 93% of the kids remain faithful. On the other hand, if only one of the parents was faithful, that figure dropped to 73%. Where the parents were what we could call only reasonably active in the Lord’s work, only 53% of young people maintained their faith. Now here comes the shocker. In those cases where both parents attended infrequently (Christmas and Easter), the percentage of children who remained faithful to the Lord dropped to 6%. God gave the children to the parents and made the parents responsible for their upbrining.
4. Children have to be taught how to honor their father and mother. Proverbs 22:15- Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
5. Dealing with a rebellious child.
a. Make the choice to pray and trust God.
b. Love unconditionally. Tough love.
c. Live righteously before them.
d. Stand together in decisions, discipline, and love.
6. Can we reason with children? Do children appreciate people who discipline them?
7. It is amazing how much wisdom we realize our parents have when we leave the house. Age 4: My parents can do anything. Age 8: There might be one or two things they don’t know. Age 12: Naturally, my parents don’t understand. Age 14: I never realized how hopelessly old fashioned they are. Age 21: You would expect them to feel that way. They are so out of date. Age 25: They come up with a good idea now and then. Age 30: I wonder what Mom and Dad think I should do? Age 40: Let’s be patient until we discuss it with our parents. Age 50: What would Mom and Dad have thought about it? Age 60: I wish I could talk it over with them one more time.
8. We should honor our parents and we should make our children honor us because they follow our example.
B. The respect for authority is usually forged through one’s relationship with their parents.
1. Notice those who do not honor their parents. It trickles down into other areas. No respect for teachers. No respect for boss. No respect for church leaders. No respect for police officers. No respect for government authorities. Etc.
2. Wise man- The prosperity and well-being of a nation depends upon the reverence of children toward their parents.
3. We are reaping the results of the no authority idea of the 60’s. No respect for anyone, even God.
4. Parents stand in relation to their children as God does to man. If we have no respect for our parents, there is a good chance we have no respect for God.
5. No fear of God. I can do what I want to and no one can tell me what to do.
6. Our parents are our first authority figures. If they do a bad job then it affects our whole lives.
7. Dwight Moody- I wouldn’t give a snap of my finger for a religion that doesn’t begin at home and doesn’t regulate conduct toward parents.
C. It may go well with you.
1. Why do some phsychiologists focus on our relationship with our parents?
2. It is important. Our view of family, our view of God, our view of society, our view of work, our view of Christianity etc, all comes from our family, our parents.
3. If we had a poor family life, then it will not go well for us. God can help us and he can be our Father and these things can be reversed but it takes time and effort.
4. If we do not honor our parents, then we probably will not have good work relationships, good social relationships. Many things in life are not based on what we know, it is based on who we know and how well we get along with those people.
5. No respect for authority, it will not go well for you.
6. Those who are mentally disturbed usually can be traced to something wrong in family.
7. No families are perfect. We need God as our Father.
8. If we refuse to try to work on our family relationships, then it will not go well for us.
9. Health problems, emotional problems, financial problems.
10. When you are dating, look how this person treats their parents.
D. Live long.
1. Look at those who live long lives. Usually have good relations with their parents.
2. Have had a relatively easy life. May have worked hard but they have been blessed in their families. Emotional and spiritual well being.
3. Those who hate their parents do not live long nor do they live well.
4. Difficulties around Christmas and holidays, supposed to be a time of reflection and love and togetherness, but for these people it is a time of trouble.
5. May end up killed because of lack of respect for authority.
6. Always beating your head against a wall. I fought the law and the law won.
2. How?
A. Teaching our children to honor us.
B. God cares about the plight of aging parents.
1. The social reality in any culture is that parents, as they age, become less and less useful to their children. Aging parents gradually need more help because of physical weakening, illnesses, loss of physical functions, loss of income or loss of a spouse. The tendency of human beings is to devalue that which has little tangible use to them.
2. Treat them as important. They have a lot of wisdom.
3. Support them financially.
4. Take trips with them.
5. Invite them to your home.
6. Do odd jobs for them.
7. Having them move in with you if possible. Each person’s circumstance is different, we should not make generalities, such as, “No one should put his or her parents into a retirement home.” God is the best guide for how we should honor our own parents.
8. We should treat our parents as we would like to be treated someday by our own children.
9. What about cases whrer a parent is an alcoholic, or is emotionally absent, or is extremely difficult or even wicked? How can God expect His children to honor such parents?
a. Seek God’s mind and the advice of wise friends or a counselor.
b. Honoring might be confronting the parent about past destructive behavior.
c. Keep contact from a safe distance, through letter or cards.
d. Pray faithfully for the parent.
9. What is parents are no longer living?
a. Respect the elderly.
b. Honor and love any elderly person. Show respect to those who are older and wiser.
c. Other cultures revere there elderly. We are one of the few who push them into a corner and exclude them from society. We are going to pay a high price for this.
10. Spending time.
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there planes to catch
And bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he talkin’ ’fore I new it
And as he grew he’d say,
"I’m gonna be like you, Dad;
You know, I’m gonna be like you."
And the cat’s in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you comin’ home, Dad?"
"I don’t know when but we’ll get together then, Son;
You know, we’ll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad. Come on, let’s play.
Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do."
He said, "That’s okay."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I’m gonna be like him -- yeah -- you know
I’m gonna be like him".
And the cat’s in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you comin’ home, Dad?"
"I don’t know when -- but we’ll get together then, Son;
You know, we’ll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I’m proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile,
"What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later -- can I have them, please?"
"When you comin’ home, Son?"
"I don’t know when -- but we’ll get together then, Dad;
You know, we’ll have a good time then."
I’ve long since retired and my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I’d like to see you if you don’t mind."
He said, "I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time,
You see, my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talkin’ to you, Dad;
It’s sure nice talkin’ to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like me -- my son was just like me.
