What’s Wrong With Me?
The Question of Alienation
1 Kings 19:1-10
Dr. Marty Baker
Stevens Creek Community Church
Augusta, Georgia
www.stevenscreek.net
Introduction
A wave of despair is silently crashing over America. Floodlights pierce the night, announcing yet another home-video store. Supermarkets peddle single-serving foods and delivery services let you order your life to go - and hold the interaction please. The 900 numbers, some of which charge callers $25 to hear a soft voice, are proliferating, along with single parents, divorces, suicides, murders and drugs.
In the 1970s, the silent majority was conservative and hawkish. In the 1990s, the silent majority is lonely. Americans talk openly about AIDS but not of loneliness. Doctors say loneliness brings on other diseases and even can be fatal. The Gallup Poll says loneliness affects more than a third of the population,and psychologist say that figure is rising. Census figures indicate that the number of Americans living alone has tripled since 1960. But figures can be misleading. A person can be alone but not feel lonely or be in a crowd and feel like the last person on earth.
The experts on loneliness are not psychologist, census officials or poll analysts. They are people across America who are living with loneliness. From a crowded night club on Gordon Highway, to a neighborhood bar and grill on Washington Road; from a health club on Broad Street to a crowded mall on Wrightsboro Road; from a third shift job on an assembly line to a computer terminal in the Atrium; from a run down project in the inner city, to the well-manacured lawn in West Lake, Augusta can be a very lonely place. The migration of our city with Fort Gordon, the medical college, and SRS adds to the dilemma for it produces lonely people without roots.
Listen to our music and hear the lonely voices crying out:
Carole King: Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you got to do is call, and I’ll be there.
Paul McCartney: All the lonely people, Where do they all come from? All the lonely people, Where do they belong?
Elvis Presley: Just take a little walk down lonely street to heartbreak hotel.
James Taylor: Do me wrong, Do me right. Tell me lies but hold me tight. Save your good-byes for the morning light. But don’t let me be lonely tonight.
Bonnie Rait: What can I do to get back to you. I’m feeling desperate and lonely.
What happens when you are lonely? You can cry like a rainstorm when you are lonely. Or you can be as dry and quiet as a desert. Men are like that. There are as many kinds of loneliness as there are color in a desert sunset.
Here are a few:
Spouses and lovers leave.
Spouses and lovers don’t leave. They get stuck in a cycle of fear and unhappiness.
A homeless person who hasn’t had a break in years wishes someone would care.
A soldier comes home from Vietnam and 20 years later suddenly wells up with paralyzing friend over his buddies, who died like slaughtered lambs.
A suburban mother who seems to have everything - nice house, nice kids, husband with a good job - cries and feels as if there is no one to talk to.
People judge success on how are your relationships with other people It is never asked what is your relationship with yourself. People should examine whether they are comfortable with themselves. Know thyself. I don’t mind my own company. Solitude is different that loneliness. I’m more likely to be lonely when surrounded by people I don’t know."
Loneliness strikes as many as one in three Americans today and, although most people claim to be happy with the friends they have, there is a strong undercurrent of discontent among nearly half the public who complain they either do not have enough time for friends, they want more friends or they’d like to have closer relationship with their friends.
A new Gallup Mirror of American survey shows that busy work and family schedules, geographic mobility and divorce are all stretching the bonds of friendship today. By far the loneliest American adults are those who are divorced, widowed or separated adults, and those who live alone or solely with children.
Loneliness, as we use the term today, means unwanted isolation ...... emotional isolation. It is a self-conscious isolation, a condition in which the lonely one is consciously aware that something important is painfully lacking in his life.
How Do We Deal with Our Loneliness?
Many times when we find ourselves lonely, we retreat to the past. Things are never as you remember them after the lapse of several years. You may reminisce about the past, but you can never recapture it. Try as you might to go back, to recreate old situations and reconstruct the old environment, you are doomed to disappointment.
Like Samson of old who thought he would go out as at other times, not knowing that his strength had departed, so the formerly creative person, made shockingly aware that the creative strength has gone stagnant, sinks deeper into the quicksand of loneliness.
Some people try to deal with their loneliness by maintaining a daily "To-do" list and sets priorities carefully. But to attempt an escape from loneliness through schedule-chasing activism promotes self-delusion of the most extreme sort. Other people try to escape loneliness by some new travel experience - seeing some new place, meeting some new friend, buying some new things. There just isn’t enough money to buy off loneliness. Still others try to escape their loneliness by getting high with drugs and alcohol. This never solves problems, but in the end becomes a problem. They live a life of denial. Other, people use food to dull the pain of loneliness. There are others who just give up. The are convinced that the loneliness in their lives is without any possible cure. Many of these are convinced that their loneliness results from situations outside themselves.
The Bible repeatedly makes clear that our joy is to be full. Our lives are to be free from any sense of emotional isolation. Upon reading the letter written by the apostle Paul to the people at Philippi, one is struck by the note of victory that runs through all four chapters. Paul was a prisoner facing execution.
Was he lonely? What did he do?
1. He abandoned all attempts to escape.
2. He recognized that God has provided a way for him to live victoriously in the valley of loneliness.
3. He exercised the highest kind of discipline.
4. He trusted God as though everything depended upon God, while he disciplined himself as though everything depends upon Him. Let go and let God.
I can hear some of you saying, "Pastor, how do you do this?
How do you let go and let God? There are several things I want you to consider.
1. If you are going to climb out of the valley of loneliness, you must forget the shortcuts.
Conquering loneliness takes work, but it is worth it. In fact, anything that is worth having is worth working for. It was reported that one day Michelangelo was referred to as a genius, he fumed saying, "Twenty hours a day for fourteen years I worked, and you call it genius?" Thomas Edison felt the same way. he thought his inventions were the product of 2% inspiration and 98% perspiration. Paderewski practiced 8 hours a day to perfect his piano artistry. George Bernard Shaw wrote for ten long years before any publisher would accept his work. Ernest Hemingway rewrote The Old Man and the Sea forty-six times. The next time you see the name OTIS on an elevator, remember that he failed three times as a mechanic before he developed the elevator that made his name know around the world.
Loneliness can be conquered, but it will require your unswerving discipline and a lot of hard work. Not only will it take discipline, but secondly, you must...
2. Reprogram Your Mind by readjusting your rearview mirror.
Proverbs 23:7
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
The old adage that says You are what you think is true.
Isaiah 43:18
Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:11
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
3. Replenish your engine by establishing a quiet time.
The Bible tells us some very important principles about making the long haul as far as our faith is concerned. We see in .....
Psalm 91:1
He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
In our busy world, it is extremely important to take time out for your relationship with God. If you are going to grow in your faith, you need to spend time with the Lord. This will not happen unless you schedule your devotions. One’s devotional life will determine the success or failure of his faith development.
4. Learn to rely on your Heavenly Father
God loves you and has provided everything that you need for life and godliness. Put your trust in Him. Focus on the promises of God.
Numbers 11:17
(God will put His Spirit on people and in doing so )..... They will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry it alone.
You are not alone.....
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
You are not alone....
JOSHUA 1:5
No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
You are not alone....
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
You are not alone....
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
You are not alone.....
Jeremiah 1:8
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
You are not alone.....
Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Romans 8:31
What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
6. Get caught up in serving and not being served.
Zig Ziglar says that you can have whatever you want as long as you help someone else get what they need. This is a principle from the Gospel of Mark.
Mark 10:43-45
....Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
We are never more like God than when we are serving and giving.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave.....
Conclusion:
I realize that many people here today are hurting so bad that they cannot even imagine helping someone else. You may feel like the world has forgotten you. You may even feel like God has forgotten you. I am here to remind you that God still loves you - in the midst of your sin, and in the midst of your broken world and shattered dreams. There is no problem that is too big that God cannot solve it. There is no mountain too high that God cannot cross it. There is no valley too deep that God cannot exalt it. You may feel like you are lost in the valley of loneliness, but remember, "You are not alone for God is with you."
Let us pray.
