Question: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Aswer: TWELVE - one to do the work and 11 to serve on the committee.
Question: How many Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: THREE - one to convince the light bulb to change and 2 to carry the water to baptize it.
Question: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: FIFTEEN - 6 to do a feasibility study, 6 to decide which kind of light bulb to get, one to replace the bulb and two others to comment on how he is doing it wrong.
Question: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: TEN - One to the change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Question: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: NONE. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
Question: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: ONE. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
Question: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: AT LEAST TEN, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
Question: How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a lite bulb?
Answer: NONE. They use candles
Question: How many worship leaders using guitars does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: ONE. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
Question: How many members of a church that is over 100 years old does it take to change a lite bulb?
Answer: TEN - One to actually change the bulb, & nine to say how much they liked the old one
Question: How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "What’s a light bulb?"
Question: How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favour or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non dark resource) and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long life, and tinted all of which are equally valid paths of luminescence.
Question: How many youth ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Youth ministers aren’t around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.
APPLICATION: "Lightbulb changing" jokes are popular these days. Every group of people, every profession you can imagine has been the brunt of them. WHY? Light bulbs aren’t that hard to change! Well, the reason is this: the joke isn’t so much about a “light bulb” as it about how individuals and organizations deal with every day problems and challenges. These jokes don’t so much play on the problem of changing of the light as they focus on peoples’ personality traits and weaknesses.
I. But in our text today, the focus is different. In our text the problem IS the light.
Jesus said: “I am the light of the world…” and automatically, the Pharisees jump down His throat.
What is the deal? Why are these men so upset?
Well… they’re upset because Jesus has been consistently poking holes in their fairly obvious hypocrisy. They wanted to look righteous but not be righteous – and Jesus called them on it. He has challenged their hypocrisy in their fasting and praying and tithing. He has pointed out the emptiness of their fancy rules and regulations. He has exposed all their pretense and hautiness.
Jesus exposed them as light should expose darkness…
Why would Jesus do that? Because He was light and they were darkness - and they couldn’t stand it.
John 3:19-20 says "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed
Question: How many Pharisees does it take to change the light
Answer: Doesn’t matter - It can’t be done… but that didn’t mean they didn’t intend to try.
II. Look to John 8:2-6
Here the Pharisess brought to Jesus a woman caught in adultery. And it’s clear that this is a trap. I don’t know how they intended to trap Him in this. But this much I do know:
They didn’t like what Jesus had been doing. They didn’t like Him exposing their dark inner selves. And their intention was to discredit Him. To cover Him over with the mud of accusations – to dim the brightness of His light. Then, they could back to life as usual without Jesus harping at them about their need to repent.
Their theology was: If you don’t like the intensity of the light - change it… remove it…destroy it… do whatever’s necessary - BUT GET THAT LIGHT CHANGED!
III. They should have known better…They SHOULD have known better.
You don’t go messing with someone like Jesus. When they tried to dim His light… He just turned up the wattage. Look at what He did: John 8:6-8
"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ’Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’
They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ’If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there."
Some think what Jesus was writing in the dirt was the sins of each man present. I suspect Jesus was writing down not only their sins... but the things of which they were ashamed. Matters they thought they’d hidden well out of the sight of prying eyes.
* I can visualize Ben Jacob watching from the edge of the crowd, and seeing his name written in the dirt… and then beside his name Jesus was writing the names of family members he’d cheated out of their inheritance because he’d been the executor of the will.
* Then I can see Ishmael, in the front of the mob watching as his name was written down… and then saw as Jesus wrote down beside his name, the name of woman who he’d secretly lusted after and thought that no one knew.
* Then there was Old Eli, the leader of the Pharisees – who watched as his name was written down and was followed by the name of a man he’d ruined years before by intrigue and gossip, all the time believing that no one knew it was he who had engineered the man’s destruction.
Then Jesus stood & said: let him who is without sin cast the 1st stone. The mob that day should have known what Daniel knew when he declared:
"(God) reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." Daniel 2:22
Or as Hebrews 4:13 tells us:
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight (repeat the word "NOTHING" for emphasis) Everything is uncovered & laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
IV. Jesus in John 8:12 said:
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
There’s a lot of people won’t come to church - who won’t come to God - because they’re afraid of what God will expose in their lives. What they don’t realize is that God will expose all of their sins–sooner or later. And if it happens later… it will be a time of judgment. But, if it happens sooner - then there is hope, because then it will be just between you and Him.
ILLUS: It’s like a person that goes to Doctor. and discovers he has cancer. The Doctor says if we act now, we can remove all of the cancer and you will live a full life… but if you wait, there’s a chance that it will destroy you
Jesus said: "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
It is not God’s intention to expose our darkness to everyone around us and thus force us to hide from His presence in our shame & disgrace. Rather, it’s His intention to convince us that darkness isn’t the best place to live.
ILLUS: Children know this. I’ve learned (as every parent does) that kids hate being alone in the dark. They know that darkness is a scary place to be. There’s only 2 things that will help them overcome their fear of the dark. One is light… the other is to have someone bigger than they are in the room with them… to protect them.
Jesus said: "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
Jesus said: I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Scripture tells us: Cast all your cares on Him… for He cares for you”
Light does expose the imperfections of life… but it also creates trust, confidence & a hope for tomorrow. When the accusing crowd left Jesus and the adulterous woman Jesus didn’t condemn her.
He was the light but He didn’t expose all the ugly corners of her soul. NO, instead He offered her hope and said: “Go and sin no more.” Leave that old lifestyle, change who you’ve been & let the light in.
CLOSE: One of the greatest tragedies for people would be to live in darkness when they could live in the light…
Rose Crawford had been blind for 50 years. Then she had an operation in an Ontario hospital. She said, “I just can’t believe it,” as the doctor lifted the bandages from her eyes. She wept - when for the 1st time in her life she saw a dazzling and beautiful world of form and color greeted her eyes and she could now see.
The amazing thing about her story, however, was that 20 years of her blindness was unnecessary. She didn’t know that surgical techniques had been developed, and that an operation could have restored her vision at the age of 30.
The Dr. said, “She just figured there was nothing that could be done for her condition. Much of her life could have been different.”
Too many people live their lives in spiritual darkness, figuring nothing can be done to remove the shame and hopelessness that gnaws at their hearts.
But Jesus said, you don’t have to live like that… "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
As the song says:
Just like a blind man I wandered alone
Worries and fears I’d claimed for my own
But then like the blind man that God gave back his sight
Praise the Lord, - I saw the light.
