Who me Lord? – James 1:19-27
Thesis: James informs us to live a life worthy of Christ therefore we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. He gives us the 3 keys to having great relationships with others and with God.
Texts: James 1:19-27
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. 26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Video Clip: From Survivor on the importance of being quick to listen, being slow to speak and being slow to become angry.
Introduction:
I believe this contestant on survivor will be one of the finalist if he keeps this attitude in the game. He has learned an important secret of success on this island it’s really all about inter- personal -relationships. The ability to survive with others on the island and even in the world hinges on these three spiritual and physical disciplines. The ability to over come obstacles in life – trials and tribulations of life- rests on whether you have mastered these three disciplines. The survivor game is designed to place people in very difficult positions, lack of food, lack of shelter, lack of comfort, strangers being thrown into relationships with others who are not your best friends. You have to learn to work as a team which requires teamwork – and good communication skills. You have to deal with people not like you! You have to deal with unfair circumstances on this island. There are those who win and those who lose. You have to adjust to this if you are going to survive. The same is true in real life and James is telling a scattered church that you need to have some spiritual and mental disciplines if you are going to make it. If you want the type of life Jesus is looking for you must get these areas of your life under control.
T.S - So let us look at these three spiritual, mental and emotional disciplines.
I. Who me? Listen? – James 1:19
a. Our society has been affected by the “Hurry up sickness” which hinders the important character trait of being quick to listen! You hear these excuses to justify not listening:
i. “I’m to busy to sit down quietly and listen!”
ii. “I have to run the kids every where they want to go!” “I’m in a rush maybe later!”
iii. “I have to work 70 hours a week to pay for all my stuff!” “I’m exhausted I cannot listen!”
iv. “If I sit down and do nothing but listen I’m wasting valuable time!”
v. “I have things to do, people to see!” “We will talk later!”
vi. “I’m to tired I worked 12 hours today!” “Not now!”
b. Bustanoby states, “Ironically enough, the key to communication is not sending messages but receiving them. Communication always breaks down if one or both partners fails to listen”(227).
i. James tells us that one of the signs of wisdom from above is to be quick to listen. Being quick to listen also sets us on the path of the righteous life that Jesus desires us to have.
ii. The reason most people can not distinguish between God’s voice and other voices is because they have not spent time listening to God when he speaks.
1. “My sheep will know my voice!” Jesus said but sadly a lot do not know his voice because they have not learned to be “Quick to Listen”
iii. The other reason people fail to listen is they are moving a mile a minute. It’s hard to listen if your always on the go. Where is the time to focus on listening in your life?
iv. I believe communication is an attitude – you have to decide that you are going to listen and then comes the action part you actually have to listen.
c. Listening is one of the keys to success in this world full of trouble.
i. I love the Vorizon commercial were the guy says, ‘Can you hear me now!” “Yes” “Good!”. Then he keeps moving to another spot and repeats himself only saying can you hear me! They never have a real conversation!
ii. Your relationships in life will be made or broken by the art of listening. This includes your relationship with God and with others. The truth is if you want a righteous life that God approves of you have to learn the discipline of listening.
iii. I sincerely believe that we need to decide to have the attitude of being quick to listen and then do the action of listening intently. We need to be active listeners: Some of you may be thinking well “How do you do this?” Here are a few suggestions:
1. We need to learn to listen to a persons words and listen to their feelings being expressed through the words.
a. This means actually listening- focusing on what they are saying.
i. Means turn off the TV.
ii. Means put down the book.
iii. Means stop what you are doing.
b. Yes, this means the Lord and others around you too.
c. Sometimes I hear the Lord giving urgent messages and I need to listen and respond ASAP. Other times it a message that is processed and acted on over a longer period of time.
i. For Example “How to handle a problem or a character flaw.”
2. We need to respond to what they have said to show that we heard and understood what they just communicated to us.
a. We can use clarifying replies.
b. We can paraphrase back to them what they said to us to make sure we accurately heard it right.
c. The reason we do this is to communicate back the thought, “I understand what you have told me!” “I get it!”
3. We need to learn to watch for non-verbal cues from the person delivering the message as we listen attentively.
a. This helps explain what is going on and it helps us understand the messages meaning.
b. Yes, I believe the Lord also gives us non-verbal cues about his messages. We need to look for those cues for confirmation of what he has spoken to our hearts.
d. I want to give each of you an assignment this week. I want you to learn the sound of silence so you can hear God clearer in your life this week.
i. I want you to take three hours this week and practice this listening exercise. I know some of you are saying, “What will I do for 3 hours?” Others have already said “Yeah, right-Like I have three hours to waste just learning the sound of silence!”
ii. This exercise in learning the art of listening is to counteract the disease that has infected your mind and your life of “busyness”.
1. Baker states, “Most of my students-along with the general populace-have been intoxicated by busyness. But when busyness invades our devotional times, there is no longer space for God in our minds and hearts. We find no rest for our weary souls. How can we escape this devouring demon and find the purposeful life we desire?(43).
2. We need to be Quick to listen when God speaks – So how quick are you to listen?
a. Ask yourself these questions:
i. How often do I listen to God and others?
ii. How can I improve my listening skills?
iii. How often do I actively-intentionally listen to what God is instructing me to do?
iv. How good am I at understanding what someone has said to me?
e. When we decide to develop a listening lifestyle, we must intentionally set aside the time to do it. Baker gives some practical suggestions that will help us build incrementally our listening skills so we can here the Lord:
i. Claim the “little solitudes” that already exist in your day. Determine to listen to the Lord – give him opportunity to speak to you in:
1. The morning showers.
2. The drive to work
3. Waiting time at the lights
4. Waiting time in lines
5. Walks during the day
6. Eating alone
7. At night when your head rests on the pillow
ii. Take a coffee break or picnic lunch with the intention of being alone with the Lord.
iii. Stay up later or get up earlier to find a few moments of solitude.
iv. Schedule you day more loosely.
1. Schedule 15 minute spacers in your day.
2. Schedule in that quiet time it’s as important as the busy time.
v. Use exercise times for silence and solitude.
vi. Arrange to get away for a morning or a day to a retreat center, park, cabin, woods, or even a hotel.
1. The key is make time for listening to the Lord and to others.
f. James gave us great advice about listening but there is a balance statement in our text today found in James 1:22-25 were he tells us to not just listen but actually do what we are told to do.
i. We talked about this a couple weeks back when we learned that we need to listen to the Word then become a doer of that word.
ii. Some people never do anything but listen. You are to listen so you know what to do for God and even for others.
iii. We have to make sure we Listen – then – we- DO IT!
T.S .- James exhorts us to learn to be quick to listen because once we have learned that skill it will help us be slow to speak.
II. Who me? Slow to speak? – James 1:19, 26, 27
a. Another key to maturity is learning to control our tongues and not letting our emotions run our mouths.
i. Taming the tongue is one of the other skills we need to actively institute into our lives.
1. If we fail to do this in our life we fail in our Chrisitianity!
ii. In my life this has been one of the main areas I have had to discipline and get under control. I have at times blown it by letting my tongue get out of control.
1. Result – hurt feelings – embarrassment to myself and to the Lord.
iii. I see this lack of discipline in sarcastic statements made by others to others and about others.
iv. I see this happening in gossip circles.
v. I see its damage as parents unleash on their kids and destroy their self-esteem.
vi. I see teenagers do it to one another and even some adults. The tongue is set free to buck and kick at anyone in its path and the damage happens quickly but it lasts a long time. It’s not easily repaired!
1. Phil. 4:8, 9: 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
vii. When the tongue is unleashed without control it causes a mess of trouble and heartache.
1. The Lord wants us to crucify the tongue on the cross – the tongue –self-centered tongue needs to be done away with.
2. Out of control tongues have been destroying lives since the beginning of time here on earth.
3. Adam after falling into sin let his tongue go without control when he blamed Eve “She made me eat of the fruit!” “It’s her fault!”
4. The tongue needs to be pierced with the cross! Some of you thought I was going to advocate tongue piercing right! But if it helps to pierce your tongue so its under control for God do it.
b. You see the tongue untamed comes in many forms. Lets look at a few different ways the tongue is allowed to tear others apart: These character flaws are taken from Les Parrott’s book High- Maintenance Relationships:
i. The tongue of gossip- Quick to speak and quick to run others down.
1. Scriptures relating to the gossiping tongue:
a. I Timothy 5:13: 13Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.
b. Proverbs 16:28: A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
c. Proverbs 26:20-26: Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.21As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.22The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts. 23Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.24A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit.25Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart.
2. The tongue of gossip is one that spreads rumors and leaks information purposely about others to run them down.
a. They love to discredit others.
b. They seek to point out the flaws of others.
c. They seek to destroy other peoples reputations.
d. They like to tell of others misfortunes.
e. They love to weave their webs of deception into their story telling and informational sharing.
f. They like digging up the dirt on others.
g. They like sharing mis-information about others to make them look inferior to themselves.
3. Parrott stated, “A gossip usually makes a mountain out of a molehill by adding some (more) dirt”(71).
4. George Bancroft states this about gossips, “Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for all their amusement” (71).
a. Share the story of my Grandmother she was the biggest gossip I ever knew. Her daughter became just like her. She would sit on her porch and run down everyone in the neighborhood as we sat their on the front porch.
i. She would sit there and tell me the dirt about everyone in the neighborhood. I really don’t ever recall her saying something nice about anyone.
ii. I believe she always ran others down so she could feel better about herself.
iii. Romans 14:10 -13 has a warning to the critic!
1. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11It is written:“ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’”12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
ii. The tongue of the critic looks like this:
1. It’s a tongue that constantly complains and gives others unwanted advice.
2. They are the ones in life who have self appointed themselves everyone’s judge and jury.
3. They are the ones who call you too liberal, too conservative, too contemporary- or not contemporary enough.
4. They take pride in pointing out your flaws, mistakes or disagreements with you.
5. They are the ones in the crowd who can always find a cloud in the sky on a sunny day.
6. Their speech is full of the following attitudes:
a. It’s full of perfectionism, it’s bossy, it’s judgmental, it shows a power hungry attitude, it’s full of arrogance, it is exhausting to listen to day after day, its speech littered with nitpickiness.
7. Critics like to tell others that they are called to let it all hang out. They have actually deceived themselves into thinking that God wants them to do this.
a. They actually think and believe that if everyone would do what they wanted all the problems in society and life would be solved.
8. Jesus had to deal with the critical tongue many times in his ministry. They were quick to criticize him for being:
a. A glutton Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:34
b. A drunkard Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:34
c. An associate of sinners Matthew 9:11; Mark 2:16; Luke 5:30
d. A Samaritan (a racial slur)- John 8:48
9. E. Stanley Jones called the critic, “They are the unpaid watchmen of my soul.”
iii. The tongue of the martyr is our next focus.
1. They are always quick to speak about their misfortunes.
2. They are always recounting how each day they are the victim.
3. Their words are laced with self-pity and the “woe is me” speeches.
4. They are quick to proclaim how life is unfair to them.
5. They will whine that God is not for them but out to get them.
6. They will complain of being lonely and that no one likes them. But they fail to see that their own martyr complex drives others away from them.
7. Their speech is full of comments like the following:
a. “I am defeated and cursed by God!”
b. “I am unlovable”
c. “I have committed the unpardonable sin.”
d. “I am living in misery!”
e. “I deserve to suffer like this!”
f. “I am helpless to change or be delivered!”
g. “I have no hope for happiness!”
h. “I cannot sleep because I worry all the time!’
i. “Why me Lord?”
j. “No one likes me!’
k. “God is out to get me!”
8. Jonah displayed this attitude in Jonah 4:3: 3Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
9. D.L. Moody had this to say about the martyr’s “A great many people seem to embalm their troubles. I always feel like running away when I see them coming.”
10. The Bible tells us to have Hope in Hebrews 10:23 where as the martyr has no hope.
a. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
iv. The pessimist – “The Wet Blanket’ (Parrott)
1. Their negativism in life fills their quick responses to others.
2. They are quick to see poison in everything. They comments are like some of the following:
a. “It’s no use trying!”
b. “You can give it a shot, but you’ll never make it.”
c. “We tried that before, and it didn’t work.”
d. “It can’t be done!”
e. “It’s impossible to do!”
f. There is no way that would work!”
3. They are quick in situations to respond with statements like this, “The wedding was so beautiful but it is to bad she was so overweight!”
a. Examples of these where the Pharisee’s in John 9 – look at how they acted with the blind man’s healing.
i. They could find nothing good about the man’s healing.
b. Example of Thomas in John 20:25: 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”
4. Parrott states, “A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he‘ll feel worse when he feels better.”
5. The speech of a pessimist is filled with these references:
a. They are quick to be cynical, they love to discount others, their talk is deflating with others, they are always finding fault, they are melancholy, they are stagnant in their thinking, they reject others without hearing their thoughts, and they contaminate an environment with their negative attitude.
v. The Steamroller is another type of tongue our of control.
1. They are quick to put the steamroller in drive and roll over any one that gets in their way.
2. They are insensitive to others and when people share they shut them down. They say “I don’t have time to talk now just do it!”
3. Their speech is filled with:
a. Arrogance, it’s full of independence from others, they blame others for their ideas and ways, they are condescending in the way they talk to others, they are like political bullies, they discard others thoughts or input into their lives, they blow up and burst out toward others, they are stubborn like a mule, and rude to everyone.
4. Titus 3:1,2 addresses these individuals: 1Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
5. Also Proverbs 15:15 has some words of wisdom to say to these people: All the days of the oppressed are wretched,
but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.
T.S. - We learned how important it is to be slow to speak but we are also told by James to be slow to become angry as well.
III. Who me? Angry? – James 1:19-21
a. James hits the nail on the head when he tells us to be SLOW to anger!
i. Why? Because it does not produce the type of Christian life God desires.
ii. Proverbs 14:17 tells “A quick tempered man does foolish things!”
1. The story of my brother and the car.
a. I watched as he was working on his car and he could not get something right so he went and got a hammer and beat the car up.
2. The story of the broken down van on the highway.
a. I fell prey to this course of action one day when I was driving home from work and I ran out of gas. I was mad at myself for letting it happen. So I started kicking the fence on the side of the road. My mom had pulled up to bring me gas at that point and opened my eyes when she said, “That was real mature of you!”
iii. Cato says, “An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.”
b. The truth about anger
i. Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:6 “In your anger do not sin.”
1. Paul understood that we are nor responsible for being angry, because we all get angry, but we are responsible to how we respond to a situation when we are angry.
2. Parrot states, “Plainly put, humans were created with a capacity to experience passionate anger. There is no doubting that. But for some quick-tempered people, anger becomes more than a human emotion. It becomes a chronic pattern of self-defeating rage whose trigger is unpredictable” (123).
a. Parrot shares the story of Cliff – the man who became so angry at his lawnmower that he went into the house and got his deer rifle and started shooting it to death in the front yard.
b. I grew up in an environment that always displayed this type of response to difficulties in life. Explode with an outburst of anger! It will solve the problem they would say. They would also comment afterwards now I feel better. But It never did solve the problem it always made it worse and more complicated to fix.
c. Parrott states, “Hostility is the hallmark of their personality” (124).
i. Video clip from the movie “Waterboy”.
1. He gets mad at the professor because he tells him his mama was wrong so he jumps out of his chair and tackles the professor.
2. Many want to handle their difficult moments in life just like this student did.
d. Anderson tells a story about D.L. Moody and how he learned to control his anger. It’s from his book Getting Anger Under Control
i. Evangelist D.L. Moody, the ‘Billy Graham’ of the nineteenth century, had a sharp temper that he learned to control-usually. One evening moody was conducting two- evangelistic services back-to-back. After the first service, as Mr. Moody was standing near the door welcoming the new crowd, a man approached him and delivered a highly offensive insult of some sort. Moody never told what the insult was, but it must have been contemplative, for in a sudden fit of anger, Moody shoved the man and sent him tumbling down a short flight of stairs. The man was not badly harmed, but Moody’s friends wondered how the evangelist could now possibly preach at the second service.” When I saw Moody give way to his temper,” said one observer, I said to myself, ‘The meeting is killed.’ The large number who have seen the whole thing will hardly be in condition to be influenced by anything more Mr. Moody can say tonight.” But Moody stood up, called the meeting to order, and with a trembling voice spoke these words: “Friends , before beginning tonight I want to confess that I yielded to my temper, out in the hall, and have done wrong. Just as I was coming in here tonight, I lost my temper with a man, and I want to confess my wrong before you all, and if that man is present here whom I thrust away from me in anger, I want to ask his forgiveness and God’s. Let us pray.” Instead of being a lost cause, the meeting seemed unusually touched that night, with many people deeply and eternally impressed with the Gospel” (81,82).
c. Many of us today need to take a good look at our lives and see if we are angry people. I placed an anger test in the bulletin and each of you need to use this a tool to evaluate how you handle things in life. You need to ask yourself “Am I quick to become angry?”
i. Take the time to complete the questionnaire.
ii. Let me highlight how it is designed.
iii. I want to remind you all today that Christ hung on the cross and he was not angry!
d. Some need to see that we have a problem and we have to be honest about it and deal with it. Once we admit we have a problem then we need to discover what triggers that anger so we learn to deal with it appropriately.
i. Blocked goals make people angry
1. John 9:26-38: 26Then they asked him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”27He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?”28Then they hurled insults at him and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple! We are disciples of Moses! 29We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don’t even know where he comes from.”30The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. 31We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. 32Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. 33If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”34To this they replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.35Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”36“Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”37Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”38Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.
a. The religious got mad because they tried to trick Jesus and discredit him and the man healed.
ii. Violated convictions make people angry
1. Genesis 27:41-46 –Esau was angry with Jacob for being tricked out of his father’s blessing
iii. Perceived injustice make people angry
1. “Our perception of injustice may be distorted by our own self-seeking interests, as in the case of the prodigal son’s elder brother in Luke 15” (Rainey,47)
2. Potiphar was angry with Joseph over the situation with his wife Gen. 39:19.
iv. Unmet desires make people angry.
1. Miriam and Aaron were angry with Moses Numbers 12
v. Feelings of being personally assaulted verbally or even physically.
1. D.L. Moody’s story
vi. Feelings of anger rise when you see others being abused
1. Jesus in Matthew 21:13 was angry with what the spiritual leadership had done to the Temple’s worship. They made it into a den of thieves not a house of prayer.
2. But note Jesus anger is justified: Jesus was angry for others being blocked out of worship with God. He saw his name being used to steal money from the poor.
3. Interesting fact here to consider this incident is reported in all the Gospels!
a. Why? Because Jesus stood up for the one’s who could not stand up for themselves.
b. He was defending his sheep from the wolves.
c. Long states, “Jesus, the righteous Savior-judge, expressed anger, but He did not have a reputation as an angry man” (41).
vii. Refusal to follow God’s way makes some people angry because He requires us to do it his way.
1. The Pharisee’s in the New Testament are an example of this type of anger.
e. The bottom line on anger is we need to loosen the grip on anger and get it under control.
i. Gary Collins in his article “Loosening the Grip of Anger” tells us how to help ourselves and others to do this.
1. If you need help please pick up one of these handouts.
a. He gives scriptural references to on how to defeat anger and to let it go.
b. He also gives guidelines for taking control over it.
i. Acknowledge it
ii. Restrain it.
iii. Never be revengeful but forgiving
iv. Confess your anger when you blow it.
v. Recognize that anger can be dealt with appropriately.
2. There is good practical and Biblical instruction on how to overcome anger in your life.
f. Daniel Webster stated, “Keep cool, anger is not an argument.”
Conclusion: Do you want to be survivor? Do you want the type of Life God desires you to have?
Then be:
Quick to listen
Slow to Speak
Slow to become angry.
These 3 spiritual disciplines are essential in the game of eternal life. Practicing them will serve us well and we will be a survivor worth more than a million dollars.
