Introduction: From the adult Sunday School booklet entitled Consistent Living which covered the studies of the books of Titus and Philemon there is a humorous quote which has to do with the subject matter of the message this AM. An older soman was overheard to say about her husband and their relationship together, "I’m married to an archaeologist, and I get the feeling that the older I get, the better he likes me." We laugh at that funny quote, but in another sense it is true. The older woman is to be "liked" by her family and church and for some very good reasons. This AM we will examine abit closer what this passage of scripture teaches us about the place of the older Christian woman in her family and church. I trust that what we study this AM will be of great help to each of our ladies here, and that it will not be brushed off as unimportant - this is God’s Word and all of it is important and demands our utmost attention and obedience. The older woman has just as important role to play and live out in her family and church as that of the aged men, whom we studied last week.
I. OLDER WOMEN ARE TO BEHAVE IN A HOLY WAY
This first truth is also the overall trait that ought to characterize the aged women, and for that matter all saints. Notice in the text that verse 3 begins in the positive while the rest of the items in the list of character traits is found in the negative "not" this and "not" that. Therefore, a holy way of living ones life is an absolute necessity if all the other traits are also going to be evident in the aged woman’s life and practice.
The word "holiness" in Titus 2:3 is a special term. It does not just mean "godly". It means "godly" with respect to one’s sacred office. It was a term used in the Biblical era of the priests and prophets in the service of God, who were to walk in a way worthy of their ministry. Those who were called to a special work of service in the temple were to have a lifestyle consistent with that vocation. They worked in a holy place that was dedicated to holy work so it was necessary that they live holy (seperated from sin) lives. When others would meet these people who worked as priests or prophets they would know that they were people of God because of their holy lives. Don’t get this confused with what you sometimes hear on TV about such places as India where so-called "holy men" walk around and depend on others to give them money. They do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Saviour, and often their live and behavior places them far from Christ. There is a necessary connection between saying one is holy and being holy in all things in ones life. This is the truth that this words holds out in it’s meaning, and it provides the aged women with God’s will for their life.
Older women, do others identify your life with holiness and reverence or do they identify it with something else?
There is an excellent example just such a woman in Anna, the elderly woman who blessed the Lord Jesus when Mary and Joseph brought him to the Temple when He was eight days old. Anna was 84 years young and here is what it says in Luke 2:36-38
"And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity; and she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day. And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem."
Anna was an elderly woman who served God, gave thanks to God, and told others of what God had done and what God was doing in her life. She was a woman that when people met her they knew one thing - she was a holy, godly woman who loved God with all her heart, soul, and mind. This is the example to remember, older Christian ladies, of how the Lord wants you to order your life in your later years. You don’t find this older woman of God sitting at home in her rocking chair. No, you find her actively serving the Lord at the Temple, which is comparable to worshipping and serving the Lord through this local church. Those who are holy in their character and actions will also be those who will be faithfully serving the Lord through their local church.
II. OLDER WOMEN ARE NOT TO BE FALSE ACCUSERS
This word "accusers" is the Greek word diabolos which is often translated "devil". The Word of God clearly teaches us that the Devil is an accuser of the brethren - Revelation 12:10 says, "And I heard a loud voice sayign in heaven, ’Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night." The Old Testament saint, Job, was accused by the Devil of only being faithful because God was blessing Him. Yes, Satan is a false accuser. We get our English word "diabolical" from this Greek word and it certainly does not have a positive, wholesome meaning and implication behind it. In the margin of my Bible it uses the word "makebates" to describe this word. It is clear that the Word of God is totally against older women, and for that matter, any believer making false accusations. Paul was instructing Titus to teach the older women to learn to control their tongue, to not be devilish in the use of their tongue, to stop slandering others, to not be a gossip. Obviously, men have the same trouble; this is not just a gender problem, but it is clear that God knew that older women must have a stronger inclination to fall into this trap than older men, for why would He put it this way! So many churches and individuals in those churches have been hurt because some woman in that church was wagging her tongue to those people outside the church who do not know the Lord, or even to those within the church who listen to such things and pass them on themselves. Just the other day I had someone speaking to me about a problem they had in which it was compounded by false information being passed over the telephone from one woman to another to who knows where. Folks, this kind of action is not to take place. What happened to the practice of going directly to the person involved and finding out if the information that we are so willing to pass on to another is really true or not? Why do so few stop the rumor mill right in it’s tracts by telling the person who is so willing to pass on such information if they themselves have checked the truthfulness of what they are saying and that you are not going to listen to such information unless they are willing to go with you to the person and find out their side of the situation? Oh, but that may offend the person telling you the juicy bit of information that your ears like to hear, but it certainly is alright to assissinate the slandered person’s character without even them knowing it is happening! Folks, such behavior must make God sick to the very depths of His eternal heart to see His children acting in such ways. Older Christian ladies, God’s Word commands you to control your tongue and to do so because you are a holy person in your spiritual standing and that holy standing ought to be showing in a holy lifestyle. Slandering others is certainly not showing forth a holy lifestyle, and it certainly isn’t something that our younger women in the church need to learn from you, if it is a problem.
As one billboard seen in Indiana said - "He who throws dirt loses ground." It is so true. We can tell more about another believer by what they say about others than by what others say about that believer.
True accusations are allowed if backed up with facts and the person involved in confronted first and foremost without telling others.
III. OLDER WOMEN ARE NOT TO BE GIVEN TO MUCH WINE
The thought behind the words "not given to" implies servanthood or slavery, and the thought behind the words "much wine" implies that the people of that day did drink some wine but it was of a much lower alcoholic content than wines and other strong drinks today. In fact, there is not comparison. Yet, if a person of that time consumed enough wine they would become intoxicated and that is why they often did drink so much. Therefore, the text is saying that older Christian women are not to be enslaved or addicted to wine, and the wine is not to master them. Just as the older Christian men are to remain sober, in control of themselves in all ways, so too the older Christian woman is to never allow herself to be controlled by any substance which would cause her to act and speak in ways that are false and wrong. Today, with wine and other alcoholic substances at much higher levels, there is absolutely no reason for any Christian to drink alcoholic substances and impair their body, speech, and especially their life and testimony. Sadly, many believers today believe it is alright to drink socially, but doing so always affects the person for the worse, and drinking is associated with those who do not love the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, it ought to totally left alone. There is so much more to drink in this world that will not harm the body, and there are safe ways to store drinks today in refrigerators so that they will not ferment.
I believe we can take this command abit further in our day and time and include any substance which brings on addiction. What is an addiction? An addiction is anything on which you depend inordinately. The National Foundation of Alcohol Abuse lists seven characteristics of alcohol addiction: (1) drinking regularly to function or to cope with life; (2) drinking to get drunk frequently; (3) going to work intoxicated; (4) driving a car while drunk; (5) requiring medical attention because of drinking; (6) getting into legal difficulty because of drinking; and (7) doing something while drunk that one would never do sober. Of course, these same guidelines can be placed next to drug addiction. There are many things that people can become addicted to today: food, sleep, exercise, other people, work, the media (watching soap operas all day), spending money ( feels good when out buying things, anything), and the list goes on.
Believers, Ephesians 5:18 tells us, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." As we are filled with the fruit of the God’s Spirit, we exercise self-control. Spirit control takes place when His Spirit controls our spirit. Therefore, a lack of control in our lives as believers is a sure sign to God and to other believers that a Christian is not filled with the Holy Spirit of God. One who is truly saved will have a desire to obey God and to not drift away from Him. "He who knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin."
IV. OLDER WOMEN ARE TO BE TEACHERS OF GOOD THINGS
In one sense, this statement is preparatory for what comes in verses 4 and 5, but we need to look at the statement itself first. The older women are to be teachers. It doesn’t say some of the older women are to be teachers, it says older women (all of them) are to be teachers. To teach an academic subject takes much work and effort, but the teachers here are being told to teach a life-style, which is obviously much more difficult. First, godly Christian mothers have the responsibility to teach their daughters to love the Lord and to put that to practice in their lives. This teacher must go beyond the use of words; it must extend to how they live their own lives. "What we do speak louder than our word" is the old but true saying.
It says they are to teach that which is "good". That is an all-encompassing term that takes in every aspect of one’s Christian experience and walk on this earth. Also, since it is stated to be a "good" lifestyle that is to be taught, the opposite is an "evil" lifestyle, a "harmful" lifestyle. The older Christian women in every local church have a mandate from God to impart to the younger Christian women all that they have learned in how to live their lives in such a way that it is pleasing to the Lord.
Verses 4 and 5 provide for us quite a list of things that the older Christian woman is to teach the younger women in the church and in her home.
1. Sober - in control, through the Holy Spirit, of one’s life.
2. Love your husband - Often a marriage is not what it should be because the wife is not willing to love her husband unconditionally. There always seems to be something she is finding fault with in her husband that is used as a wedge between them. True, husbands have much to learn in loving their wife as well, but God’s Word commands the wife to love her husband. Older women have been there themselves, seen what happens when they do not obey the Word of God, and have often paid the bitter consequences.
3. Love your children - This seems like a strange one since we all believe that women who bring a child into this world will naturally love that child. Usually that is the case, but there are times when a woman, because of sin in her life and other difficulties, will abandon that nature affection. There are probably more things attacking motherhood today than in Paul’s day, so this must be taught today.
4. Be discreet and chaste - This means that younger women need to be taught how to behave themselves in proper way when it comes to morality and how one conducts their life. Again, today such things are under attack by the world and the media and many young girls and ladies are not very discreet and chaste in how they live their lives, even Christian young ladies. Older ladies, you have been around the block several times and have seen it all - teach the younger women what they need to know.
5. Keepers at home - This is a bomb, I know, but God’s Word clearly tells the older women to teach the younger women to know how to keep their home a safe and beautiful place for her husband and children. Children need their mothers at home, yet may work to help add income only if it is not harming the training of the children. Is this pie in the sky? Certainly not, when God is given first place in the home and the Fathers are doing what they are suppose to do.
6. Good - This seems like a simple term, but as we have already seen, it implies a lifestyle that is godly and not evil. Many women are simply "mean" in their every word and action. God created woman to fill a void in man’s life, and He certainly did a good job in what He created. Would you not agree men? On the other hand this same woman that God created to fill a particular place in His design for the family is also a sinner and a rebel at heart, just like the man. I believe that God put within the woman a wonderful capacity to love her children and her husband, but that wonderful capacity to love can be switched over to an over-powering hatred as well. Notice with me what the book of Proverbs says about such women.
Prov. 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
Prov. 21:9 "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling (contintious) woman in a wide house."
Prov. 21:19 "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
Prov. 27:15 "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike."
Prov. 30:21-23 "For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: for a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; for an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress."
Ladies, this is God’s Word, not Pastor’s Reeves’ word. God knows what He is talking about for he made woman.
7. Obey their own husband - Herein lies the woman’s rebellion against God - she doesn’t want to obey her husband and follow his leadership. When she doesn’t all the verses in Proverbs which I just read will be true of her. The woman’s place is to follow her husband, to obey him. A husband would be wise to seek his wife’s wisdom on matters before making decisions, for they affect her as well. But once a decision is made, and it is the right one, even though the wife may not have thought so, she is obligated to follow and not to say, I told you so, later.
Older Christian women - you have a mighty mandate from Almighty God to obey. What are you doing right now to obey this? Younger women - allow the older women of this church to teach you. The natural reaction will be - "What business does she have in telling me this?" If it is out of line and wrong advise and given in a hateful way - then that is another matter, but if it is given lovingly and is right, you have an obligation to heed her godly instruction. This school of teaching is sadly missing in our church today. People have their own lives today and are not willing to learn from others in the Body of Christ - but that is God’s best way.
Conclusion: Older Christian women - God has work for you to do - don’t shurk it. Prayerfully consider how you can put this passage of scripture to practice in your life. If there are truths from verse 3 which you need to confess and get right with God, then by all means do so, today. Don’t quit serving God.
