Two Types of Wisdom
Introduction: Conflict in relationships is more likely to occur as a result of values more than beliefs. The question then that we need to address in marriage is what are the values we need to portray in our Christian relationships.
James 3 has some resounding truths that will help us as we deal with the subject of values.
James 3: 13-18
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
Thesis: James speaks of two sets of attitudes. One focuses on negative attitudes and the other positive attitudes.
We have in the passage, James comparing two lifestyles on what he calls "wisdom from above" and "wisdom that is from below." Vs. 14-16 speak of wisdom from below or earthly wisdom and Vs. 17-18 speaks of wisdom that is from above which is from heaven.
Guernesey states this about the text "We have found James’ description of the two sets of values very helpful in pinpointing the kind of values, attitudes, and behavior that make for healthy lives and relationships." (122)
The Two Lifestyles
I. A lifestyle based on "wisdom from below".
A. Earthbound values (A mind set)
1. James speaks here in 3:15 that "wisdom from below" is a value system that is "earthly", "Unspiritual", and "devilish."
a. Earthly is a word designated to mean standards of this earthly realm.
1.) This mind set is one that is based on the value of: "Let’s do it to them before they do it to us." It represents the survival of the fittest mind set.
T.V. show illustration, "Hill Street Blues".
2.) It’s also expressed in "Win at all costs", "I will have the last word", etc.
3.) This basic attitude or mind set sees life as a struggle. You really cannot trust the other person to want what’s best for you. In other words, you have to look out for number one, yourself, because no one else will. It’s a mindset that says they are out to get me.
4.) When a marriage has this mind set, then it becomes like an inner city ghetto mind set of surviving at all costs.
b. The second characteristic of a mindset that gets wisdom from below is reflected in the word unspiritual or natural.
1.) Barclay in his commentary notes that it is kind of like an animal instinct which snaps and snarls with no other thought than that of prey or personal survival.
a.) It means acting like a wild animal.
2.) Sound familiar? Have your arguments turned into dog fights with each one fighting to survive?
c. The third character of a mind set on "this earth" is one which is described as devilish, or demonic.
1.) Remember, though, this can mean subtle deception like spoken of in
II Cor. 11:14 14 And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
Matt. 4: 1-11
4:1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." 4 Jesus answered, "It is written: `Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’" 5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "`He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’" 7 Jesus answered him, "It is also written: `Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’" 8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." 10 Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: `Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’" 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
a. The scene here is where Satan tries to use sound reasonable dialog to seduce or coerce Jesus over to His thinking.
b. Note, he tempted Jesus with power, control, wealth and fame. Also note, words seldom thought of as demonic but yet are.
c. Satan desires to get us seduced into values which are based on a lifestyle that makes the pursuit of riches, comfort, or power and recognition, as the goal in life.
B. Earthbound Attitudes
1. In verse 14, James notes that a person who is influenced by the "wisdom from below" must subsequently deal with four attitudes:
a. Bitter Jealousy - "The word denotes one who is utterly convinced of his or her own beliefs; the word reflects the zeal with which a person always thinks he or she is right and cannot admit to ever being wrong." (Guernsey, 125)
b. Selfish Ambition - This denotes the "me first" attitude. It’s a person who only thinks of his or her own immediate gain.
1.) Idea in their head is "What’s in it for me?"
2.) It’s my way or no way.
3.) Attitude, "I never lose."
c. Boastful Spirit - Reflects the attitude of a person who consistently thinks they are better than others. These types assume their superiority over others based on various ideas, sex, education, money, race, age, etc.
1.) In Gal. 3:28 he addresses this type of an attitude. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
d. "Orientation toward lying" - Here James refers to people who represent themselves to be something they are not.
I Tim. 4:2
2 Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
1.) Attitude is: "I will make you look bad and have me look good".
Illustration:
Keeping Uncle Sam Honest
A "Truth in Government Act" proposed by Representative Donald M. Fraser (D-Mn) would make it illegal for federal officials to lie to private citizens. Right now, Fraser says, honesty is a one-way street. "Under current law, it is a crime for a private citizen to lie to a government official, but not for a government official to lie to the people." Perhaps officials should take an oath of honesty when they are sworn in.
2.) Share experience of women with broken arm blamed husband.
3.) People who mislead others and lie to cover up.
4.) The Air Force cadets’ Honor Code: "I will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor will I tolerate anyone who does."
T.S. We have learned what "wisdom from below" is. Now let’s look at "wisdom from above."
II. A lifestyle based on "Wisdom from Above".
A. The seven objects of a heavenly value system.
1. Purity - means freedom from any hint of evil or morally blameless.
a.) Illustration:
Like Scrubbing Of Doctor’s Hands
The distinguished pastor of the Brick Presbyterian Church in New York, Dr. Maltbie Babcock was approached by a physician, a member of his congregation, who was concerned about his health. Handing Dr. Babcock some theater tickets he said, "Take these. You need the recreation of going to this play." His pastor looked at them. Seeing they were tickets to a play of the kind he could not conscientiously attend, he said kindly, "Thank you, but I can’t take them. I can’t go." "Why not?" the physician asked. "Doctor, its this way. You’re a physician; a surgeon, in fact. When you operate, you scrub your hands meticulously until you are especially clean. You wouldn’t dare operate with dirty hands. I’m a servant of Christ. I wouldn’t dare to do my service with a dirty life."
2. Peaceable ness - In James there is an earthly wisdom that seeks to hurt others. But we are able to seek wisdom that brings people closer together and closer to God.
Illustration:
We Come in Peace"
The motto of the Apollo 11 flight was "We come in
peace for all mankind." This motto was on the
plaque which was deposited on the face of the moon. The landing was on the Sea of Tranquility. Armstrong and Aldrin found a tranquil and peaceful scene on the moon. There never had been any humans there to disturb the peace.
3. Gentle - It is a person who knows how to forgive, when strict justice would allow condemnation. It is the person who tempers justice with mercy. (132)
a. Sometimes decisions need to be made that recognize that people are always more important than things. (132)
4. Reasonableness - It means willing to listen, willing to be persuaded, skilled in knowing when to wisely yield. (133)
a. Romans 12: 1,2
Dear Friends, God is good. So I beg you to offer your bodies to Him as a living sacrifice, pure and pleasing. That’s the most sensible way to serve God. Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to Him.
5. Full of mercy and good fruits - This has to do with a kind of mercy that results even when the other person has brought the problem upon himself or herself.
6. Unwavering quality - It’s the ability of being calm in the storms, being stable in turmoil, etc. The ability to be steady, operating according to settled absolutes.
a. This person is settled upon those Biblical values and beliefs by which he or she intends to chart his or her life. (135)
b. Romans 12: 9-21
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
7. A lack of hypocrisy - This is the quality of being real, not plastic, not phony.
a. By taking the blame when it is our fault by being genuine.
b. Share about friend who lives a double life.
T.S. When we base our values, attitudes, and behaviors on "Wisdom from Above", we are then able to fight fair.
III. How to fight fair?
A. Have your mind set on using "Wisdom from Above" not "Wisdom from Below".
1. There are four disastrous ways of handling conflict. When these become common occurrence their "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" symbolize disaster is imminent. (116) Parrott.
a. Criticism - This involves attacking someone’s personality rather than their behavior. Parrot notes "As a general rule criticism entails blaming making a personal attack or an accusation. While a complaint is a negative comment about something about something you wish you were otherwise. Complaints usually begin with the word, "I" and criticisms with the word "You". For example, "I wish we went out more than we do", is a complaint. "You never take me anywhere", is a criticism. Criticism is just a short hop beyond complaining. It may seem like splitting hairs, but receiving a criticism really does feel far worse than receiving a complaint" (117)
b. Defensiveness - Parrot states, "If you are being bombarded with insults, the natural inclination is to defend yourself. ’It’s not my fault. You were supposed to pay that bill, not me.’ One of the reasons defensiveness is so destructive is that it becomes a reflex. The ’victim’ reacting instinctively - does not see anything wrong with being defensive, but defensiveness tends to escalate a conflict rather than resolve it." (118)
c. Contempt - Parrot "Contempt will poison a relationship whether a couple has been together four months or forty years. What separates contempt from criticism, according to Gottman, ’is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner.’ There ought to be a law against contempt, because it is aimed right into the heart of a person and ends up destabilizing the relationship and causing pain. When contempt appears, it overwhelms the marriage and blots out every positive feeling partners have for each other." (117)
d. Stonewalling - Parrott "Most stonewallers (about 85% of them) are men. Feelings overwhelmed by emotions, they start withdrawing by presenting a ’stone wall’ response. They try to keep their faces immobile, avoid eye contact, hold their necks rigid, and avoid nodding their heads or making the small sounds that would indicate they are listening. Stonewallers often claim they are trying not to make things worse, but they do not seem to realize that stonewalling itself is a very powerful act. It conveys disapproval, icy distance, and smugness." (118)
B. Some rules to follow to learn to fight fair.
1. Don’t run from conflict. Face it and work it out.
2. Choose your battles carefully. Don’t battle over the little things.
3. Be sure that you define the issue clearly.
4. State your feelings directly.
5. Give up put-downs.
6. Don’t dwell on the mistakes, forgive.
7. Pray with one another daily.
Conclusion:
Knowledge can be memorized,
Wisdom must think things through.
Wisdom is the something that enables us to use knowledge rightly.
Wisdom resists group pressures, thinks for itself, and is
the use of its own judgement.
Wisdom from above sees things through God’s eyes and starts with purity and ends with purity. We need to listen to His wisdom and not the wisdom from below. Let’s not forget to put to memory these key verses
James 3: 17, 18
"But the wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere. When peacemakers plant seeds of peace, they will harvest justice." (CEV)
