What is marriage and the family? What am I doing to promote a better family? What effort am I investing to build my family? Is my family life just aimlessly drifting? We plan our meals more than we plan family times? You can’t build a very good building without blueprints? Is the family any different? Will we accidently build a good family?
Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.
1 Peter 3:7 Giving honor unto the wife, as a weaker vessel.
I heard that the Sun and the Wind got into an argument as to which was the strongest. They decided on a contest to see their strength, and tell who was really the strongest. The Wind said, See that man walking down the road? The Sun said, Yes, the one with a coat on? The wind said, whoever can make that man take his coat off the soonest will be the winner. The Sun and Wind drew straws to see who would go first. The Wind drew the short straw and went first.
The Wind blew and the man kept on walking. The wind blew harder and almost knocked the man down, he kept walking. The Wind blew harder and harder, and the man pulled his coat together and walked faster. Finally the Wind said, I can’t seem to get his coat off.
The Sun said, I know I can get him to take his coat off. So, as the man walked downed the road, the Sun slowly warmed the man, one degree at a time. The man started sweating as he walked. After a while of slow, gradual warming, the man got so hot that he pulled off his coat and threw it over his shoulder. The change was so slow and gradual, but the coat came off.
The Wind said to the Sun, I am strong, but your plan was better than mine.
What kind of plan are we using to build strong families? Men don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan and thus failure goes before...
1. Don’t marry who you can live with, but rather marry who you cannot live without.
2. No two people agree on everything, unless one of them is dead. Agree to disagree gracefully.
3. A marriage that allows anger to accumulate is headed for hard times. Be ye angry and sin not: LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON YOUR WRATH. (Eph.. 4:26) Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. Wrath is a long term anger. Wrath suggests a feeling of getting revenge. If you go to bed mad, you are playing with danger. To carry over anger into a new day is like hitting a bomb with a hammer.
4. One of the real killers of marriage is that we think the other person is responsible for our happiness or lack of it. Your happiness is, or sadness is, not because of what others do or don’t do, it is what you make out of it. There is very little security by trusting your happiness in the hands of another.
5. The only war where the enemies sleep together is marriage? This is a joke, that is not really funny. God made Eve to be a help mate.
Husbands are not the enemy? Wives are not the enemy? The enemy is the Devil, we misidentify who the enemy is and thus make a battle with a friend.
6. Few learn that in marriage, there must grow a creative use of conflict. Conflict is neither good or bad, conflict is neutral. It is how you handle conflict that inflicts great pain. Marriage need not be a battle field, but woe to the man that expects a bed of roses.
7. Attitude change --- Servant in love, Lord in marriage? Women act differently when they are dating, than after a few years of marriage. Men act differently and their words often become cutting swords. What would happen if in a marriage we treated each other as if we were dating? The man was driving down the road, his wife said, Honey we never sit close to each other any more? He looked at her on the other side of the car and replied, WHO MOVED?
8. There is nothing in life better than a loving, friendly, communion than marriage. Marriage must be more than physical attraction, there must be a soul tie. A good marriage takes three, a husband, a wife, and a Savior named Jesus Christ.
9. Many times marriage is like a bird dealing with it’s cage. Birds inside the cage seem to always want out, those outside the cage seem to want in? If you are unhappy dating, you will be unhappy married. If you cannot stand to be alone, you will not be able to stand be married.
11. I often hear marriage takes 50-50. This is very wrong, a beautiful marriage is 100% given, nothing withheld, 100-100 builds good homes. Hold back no effort.
12. You made me mad, is a lie. You allowed the anger to come. Come in agreement to not allow both to be mad at the same time.
13. Marriage works like a pair of scissors, joined and cannot be separated, yet often moving in different directions, yet by working together the task is accomplished.
14. To win the argument and lose a friend is stupidity. If you have to argue, plan it where the partner will win! To cut your throat int two will never feed your stomach.
15. For every negative comment made, you must say 5 positive compliments. It is a lot easier to tear down than it is to build up. Criticism is often the death gargle of the dying.
16. It takes two to fight and argue. Of what benefit is a heated argument? To argue needs no reasoning abilities.
17. You can be right and say the wrong words. The test of a man or woman is how they behave in a quarrel.
18. Bitterness always backfires and will bring much pain and heartache. Colossians 3:19 clearly warns: Husband love your wife and be not bitter toward her.
19. Admit when you are wrong. Men & women have a way of blowing smoke to try to hide the real issues. It is very difficult to say I was the one wrong and not make any excuses.
20. Be quick to ask for forgiveness, be good at saying and meaning I AM SORRY. Real repentance will stop doing what offends.
21. Neglect everything before you neglect each other. Often times the TV or the computer becomes the enemy of a marriage.
22. How insane can it be to want your marriage to be different and you stay the same old you.
23. If you want to get things different, then you are going to have to start giving different. If there is real love giving does not seem like a sacrifice, it is a joy.
24. Quit throwing up! Quit throwing up the past or the other individual’s faults.
25. You are not the problem, you are the solution. God has a plan of victory, don’t give up.
26. United we stand, divided we fall. Mark 3:25. Union gives strength. We need more than a union of hands, we need a union of hearts. When a banana is taken off the bunch it is getting ready to be peeled.
27. The root of the church and the root of society is the family. Sickly oaks grow from sickly acorns. To say our Father, is an expression of the family.
28. To build a strong family each individual must release the coat tail of their Mother, the word says: Leave the Mother and Father and cleave unto the spouse.
29. One of the best things in life is a sympathetic, understanding spouse. If you are going to kill one another, --- do it with love and kindness.
30. Dating opposites attract, married opposites attack.
31. A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, her price is far above rubies, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. Pro. 12: 4
Being a good spouse is a full time job.
32. Just because you can argue the longest and the loudest does not make you right. A woman once told Winston Churchill, If you were my husband, I would feed you poison. To which Churchill replied, Honey if you were my wife, I would gladly eat it.
33. If you must criticize a family member, do it gently and with love.
34. Volunteer to do more than is expected of you. Learn to say, Here, Let me do ...
35. Never, never raise your voice, unless the house is burning down. To raise your voice will raise your blood pressure.
36. Love to give. It is more blessed to give than receive.
37. To do everything the same old way, in the same old place, at the same old time is going to become a death trap. The bait of not planning things will build a dying relationship.
38. Don’t plan your future by using your past.
39. Say the words of love now, not leaning over the casket.
40. If you get out of bed on the wrong side and in a bad mood, nail that side of the bed to the wall.
41. The mouth becomes a death trap. Guard your words!
42. It may be true that things are not as good as they could be, but change is possible in me, around me, and through me. This is faith in action.
43. Beware of playing the blame game. Blame hides the solution.
44. We live in a push, shove world. We like to see people with a push, but the better attitude is PULL. Instead of selfish pushing, we need the better attitude of pulling, Bear one another’s burdens.
His servant, Wade martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
