(This was a ceremony to celebrate marriage. The sanctuary was decorated as for a wedding, with a trellis at the foyer, youth escorting people to their seats, and a set of candelabras on stage. We opened the sermon with Wedding March being played. As the music was played, two of our young men lit the candles. When they were finished lighting the candles, the pianist played the part of the march where the bride would enter).
Please Stand.
We are gathered today in the presence of God to celebrate marriage.
Who is it that gives - those who desire to wed - to be married each other? Is it not God, our Father?
PRAYER
READ: I Corinthians 13:1-8a
OPEN: Some of the most astute observers of what love is like - are children: One child for example said that "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
In our society love is often about - how each other smells, how each other looks, how each other kisses, how we “feel” about each other.
And that’s OK. Feelings are important in love. One child said: "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Why would that be true? Because of the way those who love each other “feel” about each other.
ILLUS: Andreas Bartels, a research fellow at University College London used an MRI to examine 11 women and 6 men who said they were truly in love. When the subjects were shown photographs of their sweethearts, different areas of the brain scan lit up - indicating higher blood flow. These "love spots" were near, but not the same as, sections that become active when someone is feeling simple lust. Looking at pictures of their loved ones also reduced activity in 3 larger areas known to be active when people are upset or depressed.
Feeling love is OK – in fact God has apparently “hard wired” us to “feel” love.
And that “feeling” of love is rarely more prominent than it in a wedding ceremony where a young couple exchanges their vows of love. That emotion of love is part of what has drawn them to that commitment in their lives.
II. What is interesting is that in I Corinthians 13, there is almost no discussion of love as emotion.
Look at it again: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13:4-8a)
These aren’t feelings, these are actions, behaviors. This is what love “looks like.”
Like I said, children understand love. Perhaps that’s because they don’t think in abstract ways. They understand what they can see, and touch and hear.
· One child said: "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
· Another child observed: "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
· And still another child told of “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over & paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love."
Love, at its best is far more than emotion. It’s action. It’s something you do.
These words of I Corinthians aren’t deep theological concepts:
Love is patient (when she doesn’t clean house, or when he leaves clothes on floor).
Love is kind (when they are tired or irritable).
It doesn’t rejoice in evil but rejoices in truth(this is the type of person who shields their family from false things of the world doesn’t allow those type of influences in front door – or the back door)
Love always protects each other.
It always trusts each other.
It always hopes the best for each other.
It always perseveres with each other.
LOVE NEVER FAILS. It never gives up, it never throws in the towel.
These are not flowery emotions, this is love you can see.
When you stand before God and exchange your vows – this is the type of love God wants you to show. This is what your vows are all about.
III. The love of God is so much greater than the love the world models for us:
In fact, the love of this world could best be described as desire, or lust
ILLUS: One man said that lust
1) can’t wait, is impulsive,
2) is cruel, critical and manipulative,
3) seeks more than it earns,
4) builds itself at another’s expense,
5) is easily threatened,
6) is disrespectful and thoughtless,
7) is demanding and uncaring,
8) is temperamental and retaliates,
9) doesn’t forget offenses,
10) commits wrong to get its own way; rationalizes,
11) encourages lies and covers up misdeeds,
12) takes to gain its own ends; lacks concern for others,
13) is suspicious and jealous,
14) says one chance and you’re out,
15) backs out when it is no longer convenient,
16) it is fickle, insecure and unfaithful.
Without God in the center of our marriages – this is too often what we end up with. A selfish relationship that is self-centered and self-focused.
IV. Now some people do seem to understand Biblical love better than others. However John writes: if you want to know what love is really like - get to know God
John wrote: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
That’s all well and good. God is love… but how do I know HOW to love? Well, God tells us:
“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 Jn 3:18
And then God has shown us:
“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” 1 John 4:9
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” 1 John 3:16
In fact, this is the model God uses for marriage: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
Love should be something others can see – not something that is “understood.” One of my family friends once told his wife “I told you once I loved you… that should be enough.” No it’s not enough. Not for us who belong to Christ. Love should be something so obvious that even children can understand it.
One teacher told of the day her 4th grade class was working on Father’s Day cards to accompany the gifts they had made. She suggested that the students might illustrate the cards with a favorite activity or something their father liked a lot - golf or fishing, for example.
Suddenly Gus raised his hand. "May I draw a picture of my mother?" he asked. "My dad really likes her a lot."
V. As you may know, I had hoped to have couples here in front – reaffirming their vows.
Some thought about it. Some said they’d like to, but didn’t want to do it alone. But mostly, everyone was just too shy. And that’s OK. Maybe that’s the way God wanted it.
What I’d like is for everyone here to close their eyes… and those who are married, hold hands with your spouse. If your husband or wife are not here (for whatever the reason), visualize yourself holding their hands at this point and making these vows to them.
As I recite the wedding vows mentally repeat them with me. For these are commitments made between you and God – you’re making a promise here.
MEN (think on these words)
I (your name) take you again (her name) to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward
When she’s happy with me, and when she so mad me she makes me feel miserable.
When I have lots of money, and when I have hard time knowing how to pay the next bill.
When she’s sick and can’t do things about the house, and when she feeling so great she makes me feel like I’m the most important man in the world.
To love her and to look at her in gratefulness till death do us part (repeat "til death do us part")
God be my witness.
WOMEN (think on these words)
I (your name) take you again (his name) to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward.
When things go my way, and when they don’t.
When he listens to me, and when he ignores me.
When he has a solid job, and when he’s struggling to find a good career.
When he’s tired and irritable and wants me to wait on him hand and foot.
And when he feels so good he sweeps me off my feet.
To love him and look on him in gratefulness, till death do us part (Repeat "til death do us part")
God be my witness.
Paul writes in Ephesians 5:21-33 (EYES STILL CLOSED)
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…. The wife must respect her husband.”
Wives, will you willing to trust God in this?
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body…. Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself.”
Husbands, will you be willing to obey God in this?
LET’S PRAY
It’s customary, at some Christian weddings to celebrate the Lord’s Supper. As the ushers come forward, I want you meditate on these words from Scripture:
”Then a voice came from the throne, saying: ‘Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, both small and great!’
Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: ‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.’ (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) Then the angel said to me, ‘Write: ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’ And he added, ‘These are the true words of God.’" Rev. 19:6-9
CLOSE: (after Communion is taken) Marriage is about commitment. The giving of ourselves to another. Leaving our homes and joining with the one we love.
So also, salvation is about commitment, it’s about giving ourselves to God. It’s about joining ourselves to His household.
We give an invitation at the end of every worship service for those who desire to make this kind of commitment…
SERMONS IN THIS SERIES
Choose Wisely - Genesis 24:1-24:67
The Perfect Mate - Ephesians 4:17-5:5
Total Commitment - Ruth 1:16-1:17
The Wedding - 1 Corinthians 13:4-13:8
