“We Need Real Daddy’s, Not Just Fathers!!”
Today is the day in America and many other places around the world where men are honored for their accomplishments as fathers. For nearly 100 years now on the 3rd Sunday of June, we have observed this nearly sacred holiday. But today, I want us to see how we need more than just father’s. . . we need daddy’s! We need more than just a figure head. . . more than a distant parental figure. . . . more than someone to spend 2 weekends a month with. We need daddy’s! There are 2 reasons why I think that there is a difference, but first let’s take a look at some of the daddy’s of the bible. Some of them are good, and some of them are bad, but we are just going to be talking about the “good” ones today!
I. The bible is full of famous “daddy’s”
A. Abraham
All of us are somewhat familiar with father Abraham. We read in Genesis 17 that when he was 99 years old, God promised that he would make him the father of many nations. Not only that, God promised him something that had NOT been possible up until this time. . . that is to be able to bear children with his beloved wife Sarah, who was barren.
READ GENESIS 22:1-3 and 9-12 Abraham was asked by God to give up the one thing in his life that he had waited so long and so faithfully for. Abraham was so obedient that the angel called out for him to stop just moments before he offered Isaac up!!
We don’t know for sure what was going through Isaac’s mind, but I can bet that his father’s faithfulness made more than just a casual impact on him!
B. What about Joseph? The stepfather of Jesus? In the very limited number of verses that are written about him, we DO know that he was a righteous, gentle, and hard working man. When he found out that his fiancée Mary was with child, he was going to put her away, and not marry her. Instead, God knew that even JESUS needed a father, and sent the angel to explain things to him and set him straight!
When we hear about this, and then we hear all of the women on all of the talk-shows saying “I don’t need no man to raise my child!”, it should make us think again about how wrong that statement is!
All we really know about him is that he taught his son, Jesus, to be a carpenter, like he himself was. He taught him that God comes first when he took him and his mother to Jerusalem for the Passover. Oh what a world this would be if only we had more fathers’s taking their kids to Church!
C. And don’t forget about GOD. The Heavenly Father. . . the Father of all creation. The Father who did what he asked Abraham to do. . . to offer up his son as a living sacrifice. Only no one was there to stop the hands of His executioners. I could spend an entire year just preaching about this one topic, but time will not allow me to do that today, but what I will say to you is the words found in Romans 5:6-9
“6For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the GOOD man someone would dare even to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.”
II. Reason #1 why I believe there is a difference between being a father and being a daddy: Being a Daddy Takes ACTIVE EFFORT
A. Men we need to become daddy’s to our children. This takes a lot of effort! It isn’t going to just happen by accident! We need daddy’s to set the example for their children. . . by a life that we model to them each and every day.
It is up to US to model how to be a Christian, a SINCERE Christian. One that is all that he says and does while he is at Church in front of everyone else!
It’s up to us to model for our children good decision making abilities. . . decisions based on scripture, and based on our desire to put the Lord first in our lives. Do they see you choosing to study your bible and have a devotion with them, or do they just see you flop down in your Lazy Boy chair and click on the TV? Do they see you making a wise decision to abstain from alcohol, and to drink pop or iced tea instead? Do they see you model the decision to practice compassion, like the Good Samaritan, or do they hear you complain about how all that people want is a handout from the world?
It’s also up to us to model love, and HOW to be a daddy. I believe without any doubt that the reason why so many men are inadequate fathers is because they had fathers that were the same way. And in spite of all of the “I’m not going to be like my father” statements that you hear, it still usually works out the opposite. It’s because it was what they saw.
ILLUS: There was once a fine upstanding Scottish Christian man, who was a successful business man, and had one son. He was proud of his boy for he was for all outward purposes, a splendid, well-educated, and respectable young man—until one day he was arrested for embezzlement. At the trial he was found by the jury to be guilty. All through the trial and even up until the rendering of the verdict, the young man appeared to be unconcerned and untouched, and even proud. He certainly wasn’t humbled or even broken by this experience thus far.
But then the verdict was brought in. The judge told the young man to stand for the sentencing. He stood, still somewhat cocky and proud. And he glanced around the courtroom, only to notice that over at the table where his attorney was seated he father too was standing. His father had recognized that he was involved with the problem of what his son had become.
He looked and saw his father—who once had walked and stood erect with head and shoulders straight, as those of an honest man with a clear conscience. And now those same shoulders were bowed low with sorrow and shame as he stood to receive, as though it were for himself, his son’s sentence from the judge. At the sight of his father, bent and humiliated, the son finally began to weep bitterly, and for the first time. . . repented of his crime!”
B. We need daddy’s to become active in what they teach their children.
Are we more concerned with teaching our children about sports or other pastimes than we are about teaching them about the Lord?
Remember what Proverbs 22:6 says? “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
C. We need daddy’s to become active in disciplining their kids. Sorry kids, but it is the truth. It’s the way that God intended for it to be. Even God disciplines and the bible tells us that He disciplines those He loves!
Lets get some verses from Proverbs that show us this:
Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”
Proverbs 13:24 “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him will discipline him gently.”
Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”
And here is the one that I prayed daily my dad wouldn’t find, Proverbs 23:13 “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, HE WILL NOT DIE.”
I think this brings us to the next point, that being. . .
D. We need daddy’s to become active in how they relate to their kids. You have to ask yourself, “How good is the relationship that I have with my children.” I honestly think that it’s not good enough unless you have a separate relationship with each one of your kids, on a one to one basis.
I want to share a few verses with you that I think really drive this point home. First of all, there is Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” And Colossians 3:21, which says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Don’t harass them so badly that they just lose the desire to be good children, and lose the desire to follow the Lord, and. . . lose the desire to be in church.
E. We need daddy’s to become active in how they relate to their wives! A man named Theodore Hesburgh once said, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
I think the importance of this one is astronomical. How you relate and how you treat your wife will determine how your boys treat the girls they date and the woman they marry, and it also determines what kind of boys your daughters date and what kind of man they marry. We see this vicious cycle of abuse because girls are marrying abusive men, and all the while never the wiser to it, all because to them, it’s normal. That’s how dad treated mom. That must be love!
Do you want your daughters to someday be happily married? Do you want your sons to marry women and love them as Christ loved the church? If so. . . love your wife, and treat her the way she deserves to be treated. In fact treat her BETTER than she deserves. You won’t regret it!
III. The second and final reason why there is a difference between a father and a daddy, is that ANYONE can be a father, but being a daddy is a higher calling!
A. Being a father doesn’t require much at all. Anyone who has ever watched Jerry Springer knows that anyone can be a father. But being a daddy is another thing entirely! Being a father is the highest responsibility and the largest honor you’ll ever have in this world.
I would so ever more so than even being a minister or an elder! Now why in the world would I go and say a thing like that? I say it because of what we see written by Paul concerning the eldership of the church.
In Titus 1:6 he says, “namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe. . .” (there we have one more time the importance of dad’s teaching their kids about the Lord, and HOW to be a Christian.
Also in 1 Timothy 3:4, “He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. . .”
I think what we need to see is that you really can’t be a good daddy unless you are a good Christian.
B. Bad “daddy-hood” is to blame for the state that our society is in right now. Now it’s true that liberalism and paganism have moved in and all but taken over. . . and it’s true that prayer has been taken out of the schools. . . and it’s true that kids are shooting each other up on the playground. . . and it’s true that the honored office of President has suffered irreparable damage. . . BUT, BUT if more fathers would commit to being Godly daddy’s. . . if more daddy’s would love their children like God wants them to . . . if more daddy’s would invest themselves in their children and commit to raising them in the faith, then these people wouldn’t turn around and ravage the land with the immorality and violence that is so evident today!
C. We have to remember that we are going to have to give an account to God about how we raised our children. How long has it been since you sat down and read the bible with them? How long has it been since you prayed with your kids, other than at suppertime?
D. POEM: Daddy’s Table Grace
As we sit at the table,
Our family’s head bowed low;
My thoughts return to childhood
And the finest man I know.
He didn’t speak good English;
He was just a simple man,
But when he was talking to the Lord,
Even a little child could understand.
I was young and reckless,
But the though still comes to me,
When I told my dad that I thought
That I was old enough to leave.
He sat there at the table,
And a look came on his face,
And he never spoke another word,
‘till he said the table grace.
He said, “Our gracious heavenly Father
We are all gathered here today,
To give thee thanks for blessings,
So humbly now we pray.
My oldest son is leaving,
But I’m sure he knows what’s best.
But just in case, would you stand by,
And help him stand the test?
Lord, he’s awful neglectful
About church on Sunday morn,
And if he gets with the wrong crowd,
Will you let him hold your arm?
And if he flies too high,
Would you clip his wings?
But don’t let him fall too hard, Lord,
I’m sure you can handle things.
I’ve tried my best from day to day,
To teach him right from wrong.
And he’s grown to be a fine young man,
And he’s always blessed our home.
We pray O Lord for guidance,
That he won’t build upon the sand.
But we won’t worry half as much,
If we know he’s in your hands.
And, oh yes Lord, it won’t be long,
Until I’ll be coming home;
I know I’m in life’s sunset,
Don’t make me wait too long.
We pray O Lord for guidance,
Please cleanse us from sins,
So we can all be together in heaven,
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
The table then was silent,
And tears rolled down my face.
From that day on I’ve based my life
On Daddy’s table grace.”
Even though being a daddy is a dying art form, the good news is that today it’s not too late to become the daddy that your kids need, and God wants, you to be. It’s time to change the tide, and that starts today,, with you.
