The Faces of the Stranger
Pastor Jim Luthy
I’ve really wrestled this week whether to return to our series on community or to talk about the recent attacks on our nation. On one hand, we are being asked to return to normal, whatever that means, and these messages on community are meant to equip us for relationships that appeal to the searching masses.
On the other hand, I have been told that it is critical to talk about relevant issues. I’m sure all of us would consider it relevant to interpret the times, and there is no greater source for understanding these days than the timeless words of Scripture. I asked Tammie what she thought, and she felt we should definitely talk about the current world situation. Of course, I know better than to ignore her!
Then it hit me that the two do not have to be exclusive of one another. I was scheduled to talk about the paradox of community described by Gareth Weldon Icenogle in Biblical Foundations for Small Group Ministry: "Small groups are trapped in the ‘paradox’ of hunger for intimacy and fear of intimacy." As I looked at this, I realized that the reason behind this paradox also explains a lot about terrorism and the religious fanaticism behind it. So, let’s talk about what makes it difficult for us to form community, and in so doing, we might also find an explanation for the turmoil our world is seeing and has always seen.
Billy Joel’s song, "The Stranger," strikes at the heart of the tension that exists between people. As you listen to the song, you’ll see that Joel has identified this tension, but does not account for its source.
(PLAY "THE STRANGER")
We all know "the stranger." We take out the face of the stranger when we are home alone or travelling alone and images on the TV or internet scream for us. We take out the face of the stranger when someone cuts us off in their car. We take out the face of the stranger when we are hurt. We take out the face of the stranger when we are under stress--when we compete, when we complain, and when we compare. And very seldom do we willingly allow others to see the face of the stranger inside of us.
As in the song, we can all observe the existence of a stranger that exists in us. The Apostle Paul spoke of his experience with this stranger when he said, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." How many of you know what I’m talking about?
What Billy Joel doesn’t offer is an explanation of where "the stranger" comes from. The Bible does. And in explaining "the stranger," we learn a lot about the paradox of community AND why nations and tribes and different religions rise up against one another. This is something you should know!
As we previously discussed, God created man in his own image--in the image of a relational God. He made us to enjoy community with his community, the community of God found in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He also made us and redeemed us to reflect his community in the way we live together. He spoke and created and looked at the man and said, "Whoa...It is not good for man to be alone." Created in his image, he made us to be in relationships. None of us like to be alone. We might like to be by ourselves for different lengths of time (believe me, when you have five kids you really want time to yourself!), but we do not like to be alone. We hunger for intimacy.
But that hunger for intimacy is so often trumped by a fear of intimacy. Like Billy Joel sang, "though we share so many secrets, there are some we never tell." We do this because we are ashamed of "the stranger."
So where did this stranger in all of us come from? Genesis 3. The serpent had just deceived the woman, who in turn enticed the man. "Did God really say ‘you must not eat from any tree in the garden?" the serpent said.
"We can eat from any tree," said the woman, "just not the tree in the middle of the garden, or you will die."
The serpent replied, "Surely you won’t die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
"Okay, I’ll try it!" said Eve, who in turn gave some to her husband, Adam. What happened next reveals a lot about the tension that exists between our hunger for intimacy and our fear of intimacy.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden." (Gen. 3:7-8)
Note with me two things that happened as soon as they ate the forbidden fruit. First of all, their eyes were opened and they realized they were naked. Now, for you and I today, we might think of that as a good thing. Had we seen this drama unfolding on T.V., we might feel a bit uncomfortable for them as they strolled around the garden with nothing on. You remember the streak? "Ethyl, you get your clothes on!" But we must understand that before their eyes were opened, their concern was not for themselves. They were self-less. They were concerned with minding the garden and being relational with God and with one another as they were created to be. But then their eyes were opened. This was the birth of self-consciousness. Their eyes were opened to good and evil and immediately began to measure themselves between the two. They became their own greatest concern. Their eyes were opened and they realized they were naked.
Ray Stedman, in a message for his home church, tested the lingering effects of this self-consciousness that began in the garden and persists in us to this day: "I would like to submit this to you for the testing ground of your own life. Is this not your most serious trouble; this fact that you are conscious of yourself? Is this not where you struggle the most?" I would have to agree that any and all failure in my life in living up to God’s standard finds its root in this inescapable force called ME!
Why is it people tell me they cannot get up in front of crowds to speak? They are self-conscious. What keeps us from walking up to people and telling them the good news about Jesus? We are self-conscious. Why is it a woman I saw at a party recently, who wore somewhat revealing clothing, spent a good part of her night talking with people with her chest covered and pulling her shirt down over her navel? She was self-conscious. Why are there some secrets we never tell? We are a self-conscious race.
So notice the next thing Adam and Eve did after they became self-conscious: they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves and later hid from God. This reaction of covering ourselves goes on to this day. It’s far more subtle and far more prevalent than the actions of the woman at the party. We clothe ourselves psychologically all the time. We do this when we project an image that is not accurate of ourselves. We do this when we struggle to be open and honest and live transparently with one another. We do this when we instinctively react with defense, either when we are accused of guilt or when we just plain feel guilty.
The most common form of psychological clothing on the face of the earth is religion. Every religion has, as its premise, the need to atone for our sin with some form of psychological clothing. "Do this. Do that!" religion tells us, "and you will become something other than what you know yourself to be." People all over the earth, conscious of themselves and struck by the evidence of God in nature, do all sorts of religious things to clothe themselves--to hide themselves from one another and to hide themselves from God.
The fruit of this religiosity is an increasing amount of zealousy as we can never seem to adequately cover ourselves. It’s what causes even Christian zealots to such atrocities as the Crusades and bombing abortion clinics. It’s what goads someone like Jerry Falwell, whom I would consider a brother who struggles with self no more or less than I do, to point his finger at the homosexuals and the abortionists and the feminists and others and say, "You did this!" It’s what causes followers of Islam, a tradition steeped in religious requirements, to eventually sink to a level of killing themselves along with thousands of innocent men, women, and children, hoping that their god, Allah, will see something in them that they cannot see themselves.
Friends, understand this: Jesus came to set us free from the never-ending struggle to cover ourselves. Christianity was never meant to be another in a long list of religious options for hiding the stranger inside of us. Unlike any other religion on this earth, Christianity is about faith in and a relationship with a loving God. His great desire is that we be able to live openly and honestly with him and with one another. Without the veil. Without the show. Without the fear that causes us to hide who we are.
I want to conclude by providing for you four very practical ways that we can overcome the paradox of community, making us free to live rightly connected with God and with one another as he designed us to be.
1. Do not fear intimacy. Billy Joel said, "Don’t be afraid to try again." Of course, we all know that is easier said than done. The difference between those who believe and those who do not is that when we are made anew through faith in Jesus, he gives us his Holy Spirit. 2 Timothy 1:7 assures us, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." Remember, it is not God’s spirit that causes us to fear intimacy. That is a selfish response, not a faithful one.
2. Understand sin’s dominion. Icenogle explains, "Understanding…
that sin has dominion within every human group, the small group can then become a place for the healing and restoration of broken individuals, and broken relationships." Understanding sins dominion allows us to extend grace to one another. We should not be alarmed by the sin that exists in our TLC Group communities. Instead we should meet the stranger in everyone in our group with grace—with forgiveness and love and perseverance.
3. Walk in the light. Jesus said, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." (John 3:19-21). 1 John 1:7 says, "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." The greatest victory for any of us is found in the ability to walk openly and accountably with others under the lordship of Jesus Christ and the authority of God’s word.
4. Beware of religious clothing. Jesus’ greatest battles were with the religious leaders of his day who tried to set themselves apart from all other men. In Matthew 23:2-12, he confronted them.
"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. "Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ’Rabbi.’ "But you are not to be called ’Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ’father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ’teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
One of the great pictures of the past 2 weeks was the picture of Jesus I saw in Billy Graham at the national prayer service. From head to toe, every religious leader wore some sort of symbolic clothing that designated them as "holy," except Billy Graham. Billy Graham wore a nice suit, but nothing that distinguished him from any other member of that audience or any viewers around the world. The faith that Billy Graham represented, and the faith I proclaim to you, is a faith that does not find it’s hope in our outward appearance. That hope is not found in the clothes we wear or the face we put on or the prayers we muster or the tithes we give. That hope is found only in the completed work of Jesus Christ and the empty tomb.
Unless our hope is completely in him, we cannot do these four things that will restore us into community with one another and with the community of God. He is the only one who replaces our fear with power and courage. He is the only one who makes us conscious of our sin without being crushed under the weight of guilt. He is the only one who is the light of the world in which we can walk and have fellowship. And he is the only answer to this incessant desire of ours to get all religious trying to hide the stranger and make ourselves acceptable to God and others. Jesus has made us acceptable by becoming unacceptable himself. Have you put your trust completely in him?
"The Stranger" by Billy Joel
Well we all have a face that we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone
Some are satin, some are steel, some are silk, and some are leather
They’re the faces of the stranger, but we love to try them on
Well we all fall in love, but we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets there are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised that you never saw the stranger?
Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself?
Don’t be afraid to try again. Everyone goes south, every now and then.
You’ve done it, why can’t someone else?
You should know by now, you’ve been there yourself
Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer
Then I came home to a woman that I could not recognize
When I pressed her for a reason she refused to even answer
It was then I felt the stranger kick me right between the eyes
Well we all fall in love, but we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets there are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised that you never saw the stranger?
Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself?
Don’t be afraid to try again. Everyone goes south, every now and then
You’ve done it, why can’t someone else?
You should know by now, you’ve been there yourself
You may never understand how the stranger is inspired
But he isn’t always evil and he is not always wrong
Though you drown in good intentions you will never quench the fire
You’ll give in to your desire when the stranger comes along
