Jesus Christ said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)."
For the first time, people in America have felt the terror that the Israeli people feel almost daily from the work of terrorists. Because the horrific tragedy of this week is not a common experience for Americans, many people are not able to cope with such acts of violence and massive numbers of deaths.
As a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, it is my privilege to offer words of truth and comfort from the God of truth and comfort. You will not hear a rehashing or an interpretation of this week’s news. If your heart is open, this morning’s teaching from God’s Word will penetrate and bring healing to your soul.
You will walk away this morning with emotional, spiritual and practical help from the wisdom that comes from God’s Word, the Bible. The section of God’s Word for this morning comes from the book of Nehemiah 1:1-2:8. The name "Nehemiah" means "the comfort of Yahweh" or "God has comforted." As you listen, you will discover and apply God’s guidance in Nehemiah’s journey from grief to recovery.
If you want to move from grief to recovery, you need to respond to pain, to God and to opportunities. These are the three steps to ensure that you do not get stuck in the grief but move toward recovery.
FIRST, we move from grief to recovery by responding to our pain. We read this in Nehemiah 1:4.
Nehemiah, if you read the rest of the story, was no wimp. He was a great leader whom God used to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Yet, he responded to the pain of the situation. The walls of Jerusalem had been destroyed by Nebuchadnezzar, and without repair, Jerusalem would be vulnerable to her enemies and would be disgraced.
Nehemiah didn’t just stuff his emotions and planned the rebuilding of the walls. He responded to the pain; his legs grew weak. He had to sit down. He wept. He mourned. He fasted, and he prayed. In our eyes, that could be seen as weakness. But in God’s wisdom, responding to the pain is absolutely necessary.
Folks who do not respond to the pain, but try to stuff their emotions will find that the emotions will erupt like a volcano during the most unexpected times. If you’ve been more irritable this week than usual, you’ve not had the needed time to deal with your pain. Let me identify some common responses to tragedy.
First, when we face tragedy, we are shocked or numbed by the horror. The word "surreal" was used repeated in newspapers and talk shows throughout this week. Some of us still cannot believe what has taken place is real.
Second, when we face tragedy, we experience anger outwardly. We clench our teeth or our fist. We want to find something or someone to kick. We need to be careful that we don’t do anything to hurt ourselves or hurt others. God permits anger, but not wrongdoing.
Third, we experience anger inwardly. We find there is little we can do with our anger, and depression can set in. When we get done this morning, you will learn of ways to channel your anger away from depression by responding to opportunities.
Fourth, we experience bargaining. We wish we could have done something to prevent the tragedy, and some of us might even begin to blame those who were not involved. We need to be careful that we do not take out our anger on all Muslims and those who are Arabic or Middle-Eastern in appearance. United States has made such a tragic mistake with the Japanese people in the past.
Fifth, we experience sadness. The wear and tear on our emotions and our gradual acceptance of the pain often results in sadness. This is normal.
Sixth, we move toward resolution, acceptance and forgiveness. All of us can reach this stage through responding to the pain, to God and to opportunities over time. We will talk more about this in detail.
Maybe you can identify where you are at this point? Are you still in shock? Are you angry and wanting to do something about it? Are you depressed? Are you bargaining? Are you sad? Have you accepted what has happened and forgiven those involved?
Only those who have responded to the pain can move ahead. And you can only respond to the pain when you know what you are feeling. Are you feeling violated? Are you feeling powerless? Are you grieving because of the loss of a loved one? Are you anxious about the economy? Are you feeling fearful of future attacks?
Take time to identify your feeling and respond to the pain. Cry. Talk with others. Pray. Go to the gym and work off your anger. Don’t stuff your pain. If you’ve had to carry on at work at the usual pace, and you’ve not had time to let the pain have its way with you, don’t be surprised that you will take longer to move through the stages of grief. Respond to your pain without hurting yourself or others.
I found myself keeping in my tears on Tuesday, sick in my stomach on Wednesday and crying while I watched the news on Thursday. Both my wife and I tried to keep our emotions from showing in the presence of our two-year-old daughter.
For those of you who have children, help your children through this. Different approaches are required for different age children. If you have Internet access, go online to www.family.org and www.pastors.com to look up resources for helping your children to respond to their pain. Your children have sensed a difference in you, and if they go to school, they would have been exposed to talks of the tragedy throughout the week. Probe and help them talk about their anxieties and fears. Comfort them. Put them at ease.
FIRST, we move from grief to recovery by responding to our pain. SECOND, we move from grief to recovery by responding to God. We read this in Nehemiah 1:5-11. This is the prayer of Nehemiah, the conversation Nehemiah had with God.
Someone quipped this week saying, "In foxholes, there are no atheists." When matters of life and death are before you, responding to God makes a whole lot of sense.
Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (Matthew 5:4)." Such a promise could only be understood in recognition of God’s sovereignty and love.
From my experience in giving guidance to people who were emotionally stressed, I’ve learned to put the theology of suffering and evil on hold. Most folks aren’t interested, and those who are interested would benefit from waiting until after they responded to their pain. If you have questions about how a good God can permit such evil, or anything else of that nature, we can talk later, or I might address this next week.
If you are not in the habit of responding to God in prayer, let me give you a quick outline from Nehemiah 1:5-2:8. To help you remember the four components of prayer, I’ve used the acrostic, P.R.A.Y. The P in PRAY stands for "praise," the R in PRAY stands for "repentance," the A in PRAY stands for "ask," and the Y in PRAY stands for "yield."
The P in PRAY stands for praise. Nehemiah began with praise to God. We see this in verses 5-6a. Human tragedy has a way of humbling us and helping recognize that God alone is sovereign and good. We need to praise God for His patience with us. We need to praise God for even hearing our prayer, because for too long, we have tried to get God out of our government buildings, our school buildings and our everyday life. If you try to get rid of me the way Americans have tried to get rid of God, I would not be as forgiving. Praise God that His love endures our foolishness and rejection.
The R in PRAY stands for repentance. Nehemiah continued with repentance. We see this in verses 6b-7. Repentance simply means turning away from our selfishness and wrongdoing and turning to God and His ways. The fact that our confidence was in man, in military and in money but not in God prior to this tragedy requires that we turn from or repent of our pride. When life was good, we ignored God. If we treated our friends the way we treated God, we would have no friends at all. We need to ask God for forgiveness.
Moreover, our response to the tragedy has lead many to the sin of hatred, which Jesus said was equal to murder, and to the sin of vengeance, which no individual has rights to. Romans 13:1-5 reminds us that God has given only the government the right to punish wrongdoers. Individuals are commanded by God to forgive wrongdoers, while the government is given the right by God to punish wrongdoers.
Nehemiah’s confession in verse 7 is quite applicable to Americans: "We have acted very wickedly toward you [God]. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses (these are the Ten Commandments)" Instead, Americans have tried to remove the Ten commandments from all public display and from our consciences. We need to repent.
The A in PRAY stands for ask. Nehemiah responded to God by asking God to fulfill His promises of restoration, help and success for those God redeemed. We see this in verses 8-11.
To be redeemed means to be paid for by God, to belong to God. John 3:16 tells how we are paid for, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son [Jesus Christ], that whoever trusts in him shall not perish but have eternal life." God has paid for the penalty of our selfishness and wrongdoing with His own Son, Jesus Christ on the cross.
Have you trusted in Jesus Christ as the gift of God to pay for your sins? If you have, you also would be among the redeemed, and your requests to God would be heard. If you haven’t trusted in Jesus Christ, you need let God pay for you before asking God for any favors. God invites you this morning to receive the gift of Jesus Christ as He has your attention through this tragedy. If you want to be redeemed, you simply need to whisper "yes." He hears you.
Finally, the Y in PRAY stands for yield. Responding to God requires yielding to the opportunities He gives to us. We see this in chapter 2. Nehemiah’s response to God was not only in words, but also in action. Nehemiah yielded to the opportunities God gave to move toward recovery, in his case, the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem.
When the king asked why Nehemiah was sad, Nehemiah didn’t hide his sadness but yielded to the opportunity. Nehemiah risked execution and told the king the reason for his sadness. As a result of Nehemiah’s yielding to God’s opportunity for him, he secured the help of the king to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Realize that praise, repentance, asking and yielding are a state of the heart, not a one-time prayer.
FIRST, we move from grief to recovery by responding to our pain. SECOND, we move from grief to recovery by responding to God. THIRD, we move from grief to recovery by responding to opportunities. We read this in Nehemiah 2:1-8.
Chapter one opens in the month of Kislev, which is November to December in that calendar, and by the time we get to chapter two, we are in the month of Nisan, which is March to April. Four months have passed before God opened up the opportunity for Nehemiah to take action. More importantly, we see that Nehemiah had been preparing in those four months for the opportunities. He knew exactly what was needed to rebuild the walls when the opportunity came. To move from grief to recovery, we need to be ready to respond to opportunities.
After we have responded to our pain and responded to God, we need to prepare for the opportunities God will bring in answer to our prayer. Responding to opportunities helps us not get stuck inwardly on the road to recovery.
I have offered you a plan of action for you to respond to your pain and to respond to God. Now I want to give you a plan of action to respond to the opportunities. If you are able to give blood, contact the American Red Cross. There is a great need for blood donation. If you are able to give financially, look on the insert in your program that identifies rescue and relief organizations.
You will also find the address to FamilyLife Ministry. FamilyLife Ministry has promised to get your notes of encouragement to the police and firemen who have been hard at work rescuing and restoring lives after Tuesday’s tragedy. Please write a note of appreciation and admiration for the heroism and sacrifices the police and firemen are demonstrating as they continue the rescue work. Your children can also respond and move toward recovery.
Let me close with one other way we can respond. A friend of mine told me about her ride on the ferry Tuesday morning soon after the news of the terrorist attacks reached the Bay Area. The ringing of a cell phone belonging to an Arabic man broke the silence. He answered the phone in his native language. Everyone around stared at him with eyes bulging. The man literally shrunk before their eyes.
When the man ended his phone call, my friend, out of the compassion that only Jesus could give, asked this man, "Is everything okay?"
The man replied in English, "Yes, but my wife is very frightened."
She was frightened that Americans would take their anger out on her and her family.
The Bible tells us, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18)."
You want to move from grief to recovery? Respond to the opportunity to love others during this time. Love those who are in fear and love those whom you fear. God’s Word promises that love will drive out all fear. This morning, you have been given an emotional, spiritual and practical plan of action to move from grief to recovery.
