After watching a television presentation about rebellious youth, a husband said to his wife, "What a mess! Where did our generation go wrong?" The wife calmly answered, "We had children."
It seems no matter where we look in modern society, we see antagonism, division, and rebellion. Husbands and wives are divorcing each other; children are rebelling against their parents under their roof unknown to them. We have tried education, legislation, and every other approach, but nothing seems to work as parent are producing wayward children daily (and it saddens to say Christian Homes are not excluded). God's great program is to "gather together in one all things in Christ" (Eph 1:10). Paul indicated that this spiritual harmony begins in the lives of Christians (Parents) who are submitted to the lordship of Christ and thereafter affect their children. Poeple of God, How can a Parent who is a disobedient raise an obedient child, how can a busybody parent trained a self controlled child, etc. Welcome to dtruth Ministry of the Word.
a. CHILDREN OBEY YOUR PARENTS. VS. 1A
Apostle Paul gave four reasons why Children should obey their parents.
1. They are Christians ("in the Lord," v. 1 a). When a person becomes a Christian, he is not released from normal obligations of life. If anything, his faith in Christ ought to make him a better child in the home. To the Colossians Paul enforced his admonition with "for this is well pleasing unto the Lord" (Col 3:20). Here is harmony in the home: the wife submits to the husband "as unto Christ"; the husband loves His wife "even as Christ also loved the church"; and the children obey "in the Lord."
2. Obedience is right (v. 1 b). There is an order in nature, ordained of God that argues for the rightness of an action. Since the parents brought the child into the world, and since they have more knowledge and wisdom than the child, it is right that the child obey his parents. Even young animals are taught to obey. The "modern version" of Eph 6:1 would be, "Parents, obey your children, for this will keep them happy and bring peace to the home." But this is contrary to God's order in nature.
3. Obedience is commanded (v. 2 a). Here Paul cites the fifth commandment (Ex 20:12; Lieut. 5:16) and applies it to the New Testament believer. To "honor" our parents means much more than simply to obey them. It means to show them respect and love, to care for them and to seek to bring honor to them by the way we live.
4. Obedience brings blessing (vv. 2b-3). The fifth commandment has a promise attached to it: "That thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" (Ex 20:12). It will be well with him, and fie will live long on the earth. This does not mean that everyone who died young dishonored his parents.
So, the child must learn early to obey father and mother, not only because they are his parents, but also because God has commanded it to be so. Disobedience to parents is rebellion against God. The sad situation in homes today is the result of rejecting God's Word (Rom 1:28-30; 2 Tim 3:1-5). By nature, a child is selfish, but in the power of the Holy Spirit, a child can learn to obey his parents and glorify God.
A warning – only in the Lord. Vs. 1b
If left to themselves, children will be rebels, so it is necessary for the parents to train their children. (Only In the Lord) That is, as far as their commandments agree with those of God, and no further. No parent can have a right to require a child to steal, or lie, or cheat, or assist him in committing murder, or in doing any other wrong thing. No parent has a right to forbid a child to pray, to read the Bible, to worship God, or to make a profession of religion. The duties and rights of children in such cases are similar to those of wives and in all cases; God is to be obeyed rather than man. Prov. 1:10
b. PARENT RESPONSIBILITIES
The Bible records the sad results of parents neglecting their children, either by being bad examples to them or failing to discipline them properly. David pampered Absalom and set him a bad example, and the results were tragic. Eli failed to discipline his sons and they brought disgrace to his name and defeat to the nation of Israel. In his latter years, even Isaac pampered Esau, while his wife showed love to Jacob; and the result was a divided home. Jacob was showing favouritism to Joseph we know the result. Paul tells us that the father has several responsibilities toward his children.
1. He must not provoke them. In Paul’s day, the father had supreme authority over the family. Paul told the parents “Don’t use your authority to abuse the child, but to encourage and build the child.” To the Colossians he wrote, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col 3:21). So, the opposite of “provoke” is “encourage.”
Fathers provoke their children and discourage them
i. by saying one thing and doing another –
ii. by always blaming and never praising,
iii. by being inconsistent and unfair in discipline,
iv. by showing favoritism in the home,
v. by making promises and not keeping them,
2. He must nurture them. The text reads, "But nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord." The verb translated "bring them up" is the same word that is translated "nourisheth" in Eph 5:29. It is not enough to nurture the children physically by providing food, shelter, and clothing. He must also nurture them emotionally and spiritually. The development of the Boy Jesus is our example: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and in favor with God and man" (Luke 2:52).
Here is balanced growth:
i. intellectual,
ii. physical,
iii. spiritual, and
iv. Social.
Nowhere in the Bible is the training of children assigned to agencies outside the home not even the Church, no matter how they might assist. God looks to the parents for the kind of training that the children need.
3. He must discipline them. The word "nurture" carries with it the idea of learning through discipline. It is translated "chastening" in Heb 12. Some modern psychologist opposes the old-fashioned idea of discipline, and many educators follow their philosophy. "let the children express themselves!" they tell us. "If you discipline them, you may warp their characters." Yet discipline is a basic principle of life and an evidence of love. "Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth" (Heb 12:6). " (Prov 13:24)
We must be sure, however, that we discipline our children in the right manner. To begin with, we must discipline in love and not in anger, lest we injure either the body or the spirit of the child, or possibly both. If we are not disciplined, we surely cannot discipline others, and "flying off the handle" never made either a better child or a better parent.
Also, our discipline must be fair and consistent. "My father would use a cannon to kill a mosquito!" a teenager once told me. "I either get away with murder, or get blamed for everything!" Consistent, loving discipline gives assurance to the child. He may hot agree with us, but at least he knows that we care enough to build some protective walls around him he can take care of himself "I never knew how far I could go," a wayward girl told me, "because my parents never cared enough to discipline me. I figured that if it wasn't important to them, why should it be important to me?"
4. He must instruct and encourage them. This is the meaning of the word "admonition." The father and mother not only use ACTIONS to raise the child, but also WORDS. In the Book of Proverbs, for example, we have an inspired record of a father, sharing wise counsel with his son, Our children do not always appreciate our counsel, but that does not eliminate the obligation we have to instruct and encourage them. Of course, our instruction must always be tied to the Word of God (see 2 Tim 3:13-17).
In what way do a parent need to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
a. By directly inculcating the doctrines and duties of religion
b. By placing them in the Sunday school, where he may have a guarantee that they will be taught the truth
c. By "conducting" them-not merely "sending" them-to the sanctuary, that they may be taught in the house of God.
d. By example-all teaching being valueless without that.
e. By prayer for the divine aid in his efforts, and for the salvation of their souls
These duties are plain, simple, easy to be performed, and are such as a man "knows" he ought to perform. If neglected, and the soul of the child be lost, a parent has a most fearful account to render to God. Home is the place where the children ought to learn about the Lord and the Christian life. It is time that Christian parents stop "passing the buck" to Sunday School teachers and Christian day school teachers, and start nurturing their children. “Omo ti ko ba ti se bawi niun ile, ko ni se bawi niun Sosi” think about that.
