A CEO has taken on a new job, and the outgoing CEO says to him, “Sometimes you'll make wrong choices. You will. You'll mess up. When that happens, I have prepared three envelopes for you. I left them in the top drawer of the desk. The first time it happens, open #1. The second time you mess up, open #2. The third time, open #3.”
For the first few months, everything goes fine. Then the CEO makes his first mistake, goes to the drawer, opens up envelope #1, and the message reads, “Blame me.” So he does: “This is the old CEO's fault. He made these mistakes. I inherited these problems.” Everybody says, “Okay, and it works out pretty well.
Things go fine for a while, and then he makes his second mistake. So, he goes to the drawer and opens up envelope #2. This time he reads, “Blame the board.” And he does: “It's the board's fault. The board has been a mess. I inherited them. They're the problem.” Everybody says, “Okay, that makes sense.”
Things go fine for a while, and then he makes his third mistake. So, he goes to the drawer and opens up envelope #3. The message reads: “Prepare three envelopes” (John Ortberg, Guide, www.PreachingToday.com).
What do you do when you run out of people to blame? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Ezekiel 18, Ezekiel 18, where the Jews in exile were blaming their parents for their trouble. “We’re being punished for their sins,” they claimed. But that’s not the way God sees it.
Exodus 18:1-4 The word of the LORD came to me: “What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As I live, declares the Lord GOD, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die (ESV).
Mom and dad ate the sour grapes, but we’re the ones suffering for it. “ “No,” God says, “You are suffering for your own sin.” So…
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS.
Stop blaming your parents and recognize your own culpability. Realize that you’re in trouble because of what YOU have done, not because of what your parents or anybody else has done.
“The soul who sins shall die,” not your children or your grandchildren.
Deuteronomy 24:16 says, “Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin.”
That was the law, God’s law, and God will not contradict His Word. He will punish the sinner, not the sinner’s children.
You see, the people were denying their own guilt by blaming others for their suffering. And hat was wrong, because God holds every individual personally responsible for his or her own actions. To be sure, the sin and idolatry had been building up in Judah for generations, but God urged each generation to repent to avoid the judgment to come. Ezekiel’s generation refused to repent, so they ended up in exile. They had no one to blame but themselves.
So it is with you and me! If you find yourself in trouble because of a stupid decision you made, you have no one to blame but yourself. So take responsibility for your own actions. Stop blaming your parents. Stop blaming your predecessor. Stop blaming other people and admit your own sin. It’s the first step to getting out of the mess you’re in.
The problem is, “It is much easier to fix blame than to fix problems” (Kathleen Parker, The Orlando Sentinel, quoted in Christianity Today, Vol. 41, no. 3; www.PreachingToday.com).
In Lodi, California a city dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey's car. The car was damaged badly, so Gokey sued the city of Lodi for $3,600.
There is a catch to the story: Curtis Gokey was driving the city dump truck that crunched his personal car. He even admitted it was his fault, so the city dropped the lawsuit, stating that Gokey could not sue himself (Associated Press, 3-16-06; www.PreachingToday.com).
Don’t shift the blame for the damage you do. Just acknowledge your fault and humbly accept the consequences. Take personal responsibility for your own actions. For if you’re righteous, you will live. If you do what God’s law requires, you escape the death penalty.
Ezekiel 18:5-9 “If a man is righteous and does what is just and right— if he does not eat upon the mountains or lift up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, does not defile his neighbor’s wife or approach a woman in her time of menstrual impurity, does not oppress anyone, but restores to the debtor his pledge, commits no robbery, gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with a garment, does not lend at interest or take any profit, withholds his hand from injustice, executes true justice between man and man, walks in my statutes, and keeps my rules by acting faithfully—he is righteous; he shall surely live, declares the Lord GOD (ESV).
If you refrain from idolatry and adultery, if you care for the poor, and if you act justly and fairly, you escape the death penalty. There are 12 specific laws listed here, and if you faithfully observe all 12 your whole life, you will live. If you’re righteous you will live, but if you’re wicked, you will die even if your father was righteous.
Ezekiel 18:10-13 “If he fathers a son who is violent, a shedder of blood, who does any of these things (though he himself did none of these things), who even eats upon the mountains, defiles his neighbor’s wife, oppresses the poor and needy, commits robbery, does not restore the pledge, lifts up his eyes to the idols, commits abomination, lends at interest, and takes profit; shall he then live? He shall not live. He has done all these abominations; he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon himself (ESV).
The wicked son dies even if his father was righteous, because God has no grandchildren. Your family’s goodness will not save you if you are not good yourself. If you’re righteous, you will live. If you’re wicked, you will die even if your father was righteous. And if you’re righteous, you will live even if your father was wicked.
Ezekiel 18:14-19 “Now suppose this man fathers a son who sees all the sins that his father has done; he sees, and does not do likewise: he does not eat upon the mountains or lift up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, does not defile his neighbor’s wife, does not oppress anyone, exacts no pledge, commits no robbery, but gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with a garment, withholds his hand from iniquity, takes no interest or profit, obeys my rules, and walks in my statutes; he shall not die for his father’s iniquity; he shall surely live. As for his father, because he practiced extortion, robbed his brother, and did what is not good among his people, behold, he shall die for his iniquity. “Yet you say, ‘Why should not the son suffer for the iniquity of the father?’ When the son has done what is just and right, and has been careful to observe all my statutes, he shall surely live (ESV).
The righteous son lives even though his father was wicked, because God holds each person responsible for his or her own actions. Each lives or dies based on his or her own choices.
Ezekiel 18:20 The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself (ESV).
Dorothy Sayers put it this way: “The Divine ‘scheme of things’… is at once extremely elastic and extremely rigid. It is elastic in that it includes a large measure of liberty for the creature; it is rigid in that it includes the provision that however created beings choose to behave, they must accept responsibility for their own actions and endure the consequences (Dorothy L. Sayers: A Rage for Life, Christianity Today, Vol. 36, no. 11; www.PreachingToday.com).
You must accept responsibility for your own actions. If you don’t, you’ll be trapped in a victim mentality with no way out.
In an article for The National Review, researchers Wendy Wang and Brad Wilcox reveal irrefutable evidence for instilling in young people the values of personal responsibility over blame and victimhood.
They described a program called the “success sequence,” in which Black and Hispanic young adults who followed it were “markedly more likely to be flourishing financially today.” The sequence entails three steps: (a) getting at least a high-school degree, (b) working full-time, and (c) marrying before having children.
According to the study, “Young men and women who follow all three steps are flourishing financially by the time they hit their thirties.”
Stunningly, racial and ethnic gaps in poverty are basically nonexistent among young adults who followed all three steps. If they follow the sequence, only 4 percent of blacks and 3 percent of Hispanics are poor by their mid-30s, and the share is 3 percent for whites.
The authors conclude with this advice: “All children in America deserve to know the path to a successful life. Rather than teaching (children) the narratives of ‘blaming the system’… we should focus on helping young adults follow the sequence and achieve success in life” (Wang & Wilcox, “Personal Responsibility, Not Victimhood, Is the Path to Success,” National Review, 1-7-23; www.PreachingToday.com).
Instead of “blaming the system” or anyone else, take personal responsibility for your actions and succeed.
Political commentator Konstantin Kisin reported on an experiment done with a group of women. The researchers put scars on the women’s faces and told them that they were going into a job interview. They also told the women that the purpose of the experiment was to find out whether people with facial disfigurements encounter discrimination. They showed the women the scars in the mirror and the women saw themselves with the scars.
Then as they led them out of the room, they said, “We are just going to touch it up a little bit.” As they touched it up, they removed the scarring completely. So, the women went into the job interview thinking that they were scarred, but actually they were their normal selves.
However, those women came back reporting a massively increased level of discrimination. Indeed, many of them came back with comments that the interviewer had made that they felt were referencing their facial disfigurement.
This is why this ideology of victimhood is so dangerous. Because if you preach to people constantly that we’re all oppressed, then that primes people to look for that (Konstantin Kisin, “Facial Scar Discrimination Experiment,” YouTube, 5/10/23; www.PreachingToday.com).
When you believe you’re a victim, you act like a victim and blame others for your misfortune. On the other hand, when you recognize your own culpability, you have taken the first step towards restoration and healing. So, take responsibility for your own actions, and…
TURN FROM YOUR SIN.
Stop doing those things that can only destroy you, and start doing what God has told you to do. In a word, REPENT. Change your actions.
Ezekiel 18:21-23 “But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? (ESV)
God would rather you turn from your sin than judge you for your sin.
An old Hasidic story tells of a great celebration in heaven when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea on dry ground, after which the entire Egyptian army drowned in that same sea. The angels are cheering and dancing. Everyone in heaven is full of joy.
Then one of the angels asks the archangel Michael, “Where is God? Why isn't God here celebrating?”
Michael answers, “God is not here because he is off by himself weeping. You see, many thousands were drowned today” (Tony Campolo, Let Me Tell You a Story, Word Publishing, 2000; www.PreachingToday.com).
It breaks God’s heart when He has to judge people for their sin. So turn from your sin. And whatever you do, don’t turn TO sin.
Ezekiel 18:24 But when a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and does injustice and does the same abominations that the wicked person does, shall he live? None of the righteous deeds that he has done shall be remembered; for the treachery of which he is guilty and the sin he has committed, for them he shall die (ESV).
Your good deeds don’t outweigh the bad. Your past righteousness will not negate your present sins.
Ezekiel 18:25-29 “Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear now, O house of Israel: Is my way not just? Is it not your ways that are not just? When a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and does injustice, he shall die for it; for the injustice that he has done he shall die. Again, when a wicked person turns away from the wickedness he has committed and does what is just and right, he shall save his life. Because he considered and turned away from all the transgressions that he had committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die. Yet the house of Israel says, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ O house of Israel, are my ways not just? Is it not your ways that are not just? (ESV)
Or as Tony Evans put it: “Salvation is a matter of where you end up, not where you start.” If you repent, God will judge you based on your repentance. But if you don’t repent, God will judge you based on your sin, not on how good you were before you turned to sin (The Tony Evans Bible Commentary, Holman Bible Publishers, 2019).
So, if you want to escape judgment, change your actions.
Some time ago, police cited a woman for speeding, hoping it would encourage her to slow down as she continued her journey. Their hopes were in vain.
Deputies with the Lincoln County Sheriff's Department pulled over Chauntl Wilson for driving her brand-new yellow Mustang over the speed limit, clocking her at 92 miles per hour when the limit was 75. However, after issuing the citation and letting her go, the deputies were surprised when she “accelerated very rapidly,” clocking her again at a speed of 142 miles per hour, almost double the legal limit.
After engaging her in a pursuit, Wilson initially resisted, then eventually relented, and was eventually arrested and charged with willful reckless driving. Police also recovered a small amount of marijuana, which resulted in further charges (Gary Gastelu, “Driver gets 92 mph ticket, immediately accelerates to 142 mph,” Fox News, 7-27-18; www.PreachingToday.com).
You don’t make things better by accelerating your sin. You make things better only by stopping your sin and changing your ways. So, if you want to escape judgment, change your actions.
But in order to do that, you have to change your heart. You have to transform the inside before the outside changes. You have to swap out your hard heart for one that God can mold according to His will.
Ezekiel 18:30-32 “Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, declares the Lord GOD. Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions that you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord GOD; so turn, and live” (ESV).
The only way to change your actions is to change your heart. As the text says, “Make yourself a new heart and a new spirit.” But that’s impossible unless you invite God in your life to change you from the inside out. You see, only He can give you a new heart and a new spirit, but you have to invite Him to do it for you. You have to let Him into your life.
That’s why God became a man 2,000 years ago. When people realized that they could not change themselves, Jesus died on a cross for their sins and rose again. His death saves them from the penalty of sin—death. But it also saves them from the power of sin, as well. In other words, when you put your trust in Christ, sin no longer has any dominion over you (Romans 6:5-14). You can change, because you are not a slave to sin anymore (Romans 6:6).
The Bible says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Do you want to change your heart and so change your life? Commit your life to Christ and let Him do it for you.
Some time ago, The Huffington Post ran a beautiful story about a church in Honolulu called Bluewater Mission. This small church started a restaurant called Seed, which gives people a second chance at work and at life. The article focused on a woman named Mary Nelson, who started working at Seed. It was only the second job the 53-year-old had ever had. At the age of 14, Nelson's mother committed suicide and she started working on the streets of New York City as a prostitute. At the age of 18 she tried to start a new life in Hawaii, but she kept working as a prostitute.
Then when she was in her early 50s, some Christians at Bluewater Mission persuaded her to leave the streets and try working at Seed. She spent the first six months washing dishes because she wanted to be far away from what she called the “good people.” But after a lot of hard work and love from the people at church, Nelson says, “I get to be the person I was never able to be. I get to help people without someone trying to take advantage of me.”
Nelson noted that what she makes in a month at Seed, she used to make in one night on the streets. She had it all: new cars, jewelry, travel, nice condos—though, sometimes, beatings, rape and “so much horror” came with the price. “You can't buy what I'm going through right now,” she says. “I never thought that I'd be this person I am now.”
After a while, Nelson went with her church on a trip to the Philippines to reach out to prostitutes. She told the reporter, “I want those women to know there's hope. You can change. There are people out there that really want to help and you've got to … believe. Just like you went out there and took a chance on the streets, you've got to take a chance on this as well” (Carla Herreria, “Restaurant In Hawaii Offers Fresh Start For Former Prostitutes, Convicts, Others Who Need A Hand,” The Huffington Post, 2-28-15; www.PreachingToday.com).
My dear friends, take a chance on Jesus. Trust Him with your life and let Him change you from the inside out.
If you want to get out of the mess you’re in, take responsibility for your own actions, and with God’s help turn from your sin. Quit blaming others for your misfortune, and trust Christ to help you make the changes you know you need to make.
Howard Hendricks used to tell the story of a brilliant young doctor. who was invited into the office of an internationally known heart surgeon in Houston, Texas. The senior doctor said, “I've done my homework on you, son, and I understand you have the potential for being the greatest heart surgeon in the next generation. I would like to guarantee that. In fact, I have handpicked you as my protegee. If you will commit yourself to me, I promise to pour all of my skills into your life, and I will develop you into the greatest heart surgeon of the next generation. There's only one condition. You've got to sell your soul to me.”
The young man paused for a moment and then said, “Doctor, I am so honored you would choose me. But you need to understand: my soul is already sold.”
Thinking that another doctor had beaten him to the draw, the surgeon said, “To whom have you sold your soul?”
The young man replied, “To Jesus Christ” (Howard Hendricks, “Beyond the Bottom Line,” Preaching Today, Tape No. 101; www.PreachingToday.com).
My dear friends, sell your soul to Jesus and only to Jesus Christ. If you do that, He will pour all of His skills into your life and, despite your past, develop you into a great person, who represents Him well in your generation.
