Topic: My topic today is Leadership pain – I knew we would have a lot of young people going into the ministry and the number 1 lesson I feel you need to hear is on this subject!
My message is based out of three books today – I highly encourage you to read all three of these books to prepare for ministry!
Highlight three books:
Leadership Pain by Samuel Chand
Insanity of God by Nik Ripken
Spiritual Leadership by Blackaby
Teaching on Leadership Pain! FCA leaders meeting
Our theme this year is Come Alive in 2025. It is based out of Ezekiel 37:4-10:
4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breatha enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’ ” 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. 9 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.
Introduction:
Power Point 1
Quote: “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain! To grow more, raise your threshold.”
Quote: “Leadership is a magnet for pain!”
Thesis: Leadership pain is the school of personal growth and ministry growth – you will enroll in it when you start leading! You may not like the lessons which roll into and out of your life but you must learn pain management to be a successful leader in the Kingdom!
Introduction:
I heard a song at IHOP Kansas City a few years ago while I was there for a prayer retreat- I was in the prayer room when a spontaneous song broke out and this is what they started singing: “Pain is the school to growth – growth is the lesson of pain” – But this is why it’s called “Growing pains.” I laughed as I was praying and listening to this song – I thought how true and then reflected on this leadership discussion I was leading for the FCA today.
I wonder how many FCA pastors have been dealing with leadership pain factors this last year – even currently or something from the past?
I remember graduating from Bible College and being ready to save the world and not realizing the pain of leadership in front of me. I did not know “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.”
My first church was in Mn a small town of about 250 people. The first year and a ½ the church grew – we started a Royal Rangers/Missionettes program which had around 40 kids in it (prior they only had a few kids in their kids programs), I approached the public school about releasing to us grades k-6th grade to us on Fridays for Release time for 2 hours – they agreed we had over a 60-70 kids – we were teaching the kids Bible and things were off to a great start. But then leadership pain hit at about 1 ½ year mark – at the time I did not understand that pain could and would lead to spiritual growth and ministry growth. I did not realize pain came with leading.
As I was leading my first church – seeing so much fruit – others on the leadership team saw my flaws – so a meeting was called by an Elder and Deacon his wife (both on the board) and I came into the meeting thinking they are going to tell how great everything is going – but instead they produced a yellow legal pad filled with over 100 things that were wrong with my leadership and my pastoral ministry! I was blown away – stunned – in shock– as I was starring at the yellow pad filled with my faults numbered 1-100 – I was thinking this is not how leadership is supposed to go! This hurts!
Here were some of my faults if you were wondering: I was criticized for having the heat to warm in the parsonage – I was criticized for not appeasing all the people in the church by making them happy – For example: I was not posting in the paper when I preached on tithing so those who disagreed with it could stay home. I was wrong for not telling the newspaper all the people we had over at our house for dinner – I was to Holy Spirit minded and offending people who do not believe in the Holy Spirit – I was too busy doing the other young ministries and not focusing enough on the older people! The list went on and on – then they attacked my wife - so I looked at the leadership and I quit.
Over the next few month’s as I transitioned out these leaders quit the church and split it in ½ focusing over the doctrine of the Holy Spirit and they even started their own church in a town of 250? I ended heading to a Bible Camp about 1 hour south of this church and about 15 years later the church closed. The pastor they brought in to start their church whose name was we will say “Mike” too – he called me at Bible Camp one day to say Mike – “I am having a problem with a few of your former leaders!” – He said, “They came in with a yellow legal pad with over a 100 things wrong with my leadership – it really hurt!” – I empathized with him and shared my story of leadership pain with him – I also smiled inside but the pain was real – so I shared with him how this pain will lead you to spiritual growth and even ministry growth – I told him pain comes with leadership. This couple - who split the church and the other church eventually moved to another city after his wife came down with Cancer – He called me about 5 years later to apologize to me for what they had done – he hoped his apology would help his wife be healed! We talked for several hours and I prayed with him.
When pain overwhelms us how do we respond to it or even look at it? In the year of 2020 pain was all around us and many other people – many ministries, pastors, ministers, missionaries and families. For some Christians there is a common myth out there that we should be immune to pain and suffering. They actually believe God should shield them from pain! So when pain comes some blame God – some blame others or actually become numb to the pain and then they withdraw.
Message and Discussion based on the Book: “Leadership Pain” by Samuel Chand
Highlights of Leadership Pain:
See Power Point 2:
“Leadership - all leadership - is a magnet for pain…pain comes in many forms…but pain isn’t the enemy. The inability or unwillingness to face pain is a far greater danger…pain is meant to wake us up to help us grow…people try to hide their pain…but they are wrong…we need a fresh perspective on pain management…you’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain” (Pages 1-15)
3 things we should do to gain wisdom through painful experiences in life!
• See pain as your greatest teacher!
• Let your vision and mission drive you through the pain!
• Have a rigorous spiritual development plan to help deal with the pain!
His thoughts and my thoughts:
1. See pain as your greatest teacher.
a. Don’t avoid it. Don’t minimize it. And don’t numb yourself to it.
b. Pain never just goes away. When it’s not resolved, it sinks deep into our minds, creates anxiety in our hearts, causes resentment and depression, and creates tension in our relationships.
c. As the old motor oil ad said, “Pay me now or pay me later.” Face pain sooner and you’ll learn important lessons about God, about yourself, and how to help others grow as they encounter difficulties. Face it later with devastating results.
2. Let your vision and mission drive you.
a. Keep the vision fresh and strong.
i. Don’t let your mind be consumed by your immediate pain and obvious limitations. When you interpret your pain as bigger—more important, more threatening, more comprehensive—than your vision, you’ll redefine your vision down to the threshold of your pain.
ii. Focus on the big picture and let your anticipated legacy give you the courage you need to face each day’s troubles. Your vision will continually renew your hope, restore your courage, and refresh your perspective. It will enable you to pay the price to face the pain and take the next step forward.
3. Have a rigorous personal development plan.
a. If you have a plan to grow spiritually, relationally, and professionally, you’ll incorporate difficulties into the learning process. Don’t coast. Read the best authors, spend time with courageous leaders, and craft a plan to sharpen your skills. At many points you’ll bump up against various obstacles—internally and externally, real and perceived. As you face each of them with courage, you’ll raise your pain threshold and you’ll become a better leader.
b. In the process, you’ll see pain as your friend, not your enemy. Without a fresh perspective about pain, a compelling vision, and a clear plan, every heartache has the potential to stop you in your tracks.
See Power Point 3:
Jesus knew the pain of leadership especially in people deserting him and betraying him!
See Power points 4,5
A true story of one who modeled these 3 things: Dmitri from the Insanity of God! Amazing!
See Power Point 6
Story from YAROSLAVL, Russia—- The Soviet police arrested Pastor Dmitri* because his house church had grown too large to ignore. They hauled him away to a prison filled with hardened criminals. A thousand miles from home, Dmitri suffered regular beatings. His jailers demanded he renounce his faith in Jesus and confess to being a Western spy. They even deceived him into thinking they had arrested his wife. The jailers would also trick prisoners into believing that their wives had been murdered. Yet for 17 years, Dmitri remained steadfast. Early each morning, he stood in his cell and faced east to sing his “heart song” to Christ. The other inmates tried to shut him up by shouting insults, even throwing human waste into his cell. When Dmitri made it clear he would neither deny Jesus nor sign a confession, guards dragged him from his cell for execution. On the catwalk outside the cell, however, the guards stopped dead in their tracks. Amazingly, the very inmates who had poured their hatred on Dmitri for so many years, now stood at the doors of their cells and sang his heart song to Christ. Not only was the pastor not executed, he eventually was released to return home. Nik Ripken listened to Pastor Dmitri tell his story in 1994, almost three years after the Soviet Union collapsed.
See Power Point 7
Video Illustration: From Insanity of God of Dmitri.
Quote from Robert Crosby, “When you really love someone, you are willing to follow him to the heights and the depths. The ups and downs” (page 206). I add when you really love Jesus you will follow Him through the pain of leadership.
Question do you believe this thought from Paul - Phil. 3:10-11: ““I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
See Power Point 8
As leaders we must learn pain management:
Leadership pain highlights that pain is an unavoidable and integral part of the leadership journey, a necessary teacher for growth, and a catalyst for developing resilience and character.
Chand emphasized that a leader's potential is often limited by their pain threshold, and that embracing challenges, rather than avoiding them, leads to transformation and greater effectiveness.
What do we need to know from this message?
Pain will shift you one way or the other!
You must know your pain isn’t unique – countless leaders have suffered pain in their leadership for the Kingdom of Heaven even Jesus.
Judas and the pain of betrayal.
Leadership brings pain with it and you have a choice on how you deal with the pain – My prayer is that you stop seeing pain as the enemy and make peace with it. Like Paul, you’ll see pain as a surprising source of strength. God’s power, Paul learned “is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor.12:9).
See 2 Cor. 4:7-17:
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore, I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
See 2 Cor. 4:16-18:
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Paul had a vision of his mission and pain would not stop him from fulfilling his divine mission from Jesus.
Closing thoughts
We need to expect even more pain the longer you lead - Do you want to be strong in God’s grace and power? Make peace with the pain God sends your way. Recognize it as a springboard for growth and a platform for greater effectiveness. You’ll need it. God has much more in store for you that is why you are dealing with the pain.
In sports, when teams get to the play-offs, the games that really matter, many players are suffering the greatest pains of the season. In every sport—the NBA, the NFL, the World Cup, MLB, and in all sports at all levels of competition—players are battered at the end of the regular season. But now they stand on the precipice of a championship. They’ve played hard for months, and they’re nicked, bruised, strained, and even broken—but they’ve dreamed and worked hard to make the play-offs. They wouldn’t miss it for the world!
True Story: In one of the most amazing feats in sports history, Chicago Bulls star Michael Jordan woke up in the middle of the night before a crucial play-off game. He had the flu. He excused himself from the morning practice. As game time approached, he was dehydrated and weak. He had lost several pounds. He dragged himself out of bed. His teammate Scottie Pippen later said, “The way he looked, there’s no way I thought he could even put on his uniform. I’d never seen him like that. He looked bad—I mean really bad.” Jordan sat in a dark room near the locker room. He visualized himself playing the game: running, shooting, and passing. He staggered to the locker room, put on his uniform, and told his coach, “I can play.” During a first-quarter time-out, Jordan bent over, closed his eyes, and almost fell to the floor. A few minutes later he slumped into a chair on the sideline. Somehow Jordan kept playing, and somehow he scored. Incredibly, he put up thirty-eight points that night, including the game-winning shot with seconds to go. After the game, Jordan explained, “That was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I almost played myself into passing out just to win a basketball game. If we had lost, I would have been devastated.” His coach said, “Because of the circumstances, with this being a critical game in the finals, I’d have to say this is the greatest game I’ve seen Michael play. Just standing up was nauseating for him and caused him dizzy spells. This was a heroic effort, one to add to the collection of efforts that make up his legend.” Pippen added, “He’s the greatest, and everyone saw why tonight.”
Are we playing for anything less in the Kingdom of God?
Paul compared our willingness to endure the pain of following Christ to the pain of athletic discipline: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever” (1 Corinthians 9:24–25).
The formula for overcoming leadership pain:
Leadership lessons on pain and how to grow through it:
1. See pain as your greatest teacher. Don’t avoid it. Don’t minimize it. And don’t numb yourself to it. Pain never just goes away (Chand, pg. 19).
a. Example Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane Matthew 26:36-46.
2. Let your vision drive you. Keep the vision fresh and strong. Don’t let your mind be consumed by your immediate pain and obvious limitations. When you interpret your pain as bigger—more important, more threatening, more comprehensive—than your vision, you’ll redefine your vision down to the threshold of your pain (pg. 19).
a. Proverbs 29:18: NASB “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law.”
3. Have a rigorous personal development plan. If you have a plan to grow spiritually, relationally, and professionally, you’ll incorporate difficulties (pain) into the learning process (pg. 19).
a. 2 Timothy 2:15: NIV “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”
4. Without a fresh perspective about pain, a compelling vision, and a clear plan, every heartache has the potential to stop you in your tracks (pg. 20).
a. Galatians 6:9: NIV “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Power Point 9- What we need to know from this message?
Final Thoughts to discuss on Leadership Pain:
Chand states, “Do you want to be a better leader? Raise the threshold of your pain. Do you want your church to grow? Do you want your business to reach higher goals? Reluctance to face pain is your greatest limitation. There is no growth without change, no change without loss, and no loss without pain.” Chand, Samuel R. Leadership Pain (p. 15). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
Key lesson to learn: “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.”
Chand also states, “I’ve known many leaders whose potential hit a ceiling and stopped when they refused to break through their pain threshold. Some completely bailed out, but most settled for something less—often far less—than the grand design God had for them.” Chand, Samuel R. . Leadership Pain (p. 19). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
Sadly, the trend line isn’t encouraging. These studies show significant increases in the incidence of stress-related problems in the ministry. From Chand, Samuel R. Leadership Pain (p. 68-69). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
Statistics to pay attention too on your table!
Please see the Questions which we all need to explore as it relates to Leadership growth and pain at your table for discussion:
1. Do you agree or disagree with this statement: “Leadership is a magnet for Pain!” Explain your answer.
2. Can you think of a time when you let your pain reinterpret (and lower) your vision? Describe a time when this happened? How do you wish you had responded?
3. Do you agree with Chand’s premise, “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.” Explain why you agree or disagree.
4. What do you think of this statement, “Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
5. What do you think of this quote, “Never trust a leader who doesn’t walk with a limp.” Dr. J. Robert Clinton
6. AW Tozer stated, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply” Do you agree with this statement?
7. In light of Jesus’ suffering, what does it mean to be transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory.” (2 Cor. 3:18)
