Several decades ago, Gary Campman wrote about five love languages. They are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. These five love languages describe different ways people give and receive love. Each of us has a primary love language, and often, our partner has a different language than we do. Since its release, it has been reprinted numerous times and translated into dozens of languages. It’s been expanded into versions for singles, children, teens, and the workplace.
Pause for a moment and consider your relationship with Jesus Christ, your Savior and Lord. For those of you who have a relationship with Jesus through the cross, give a minute to this question. What is Jesus’ primary love language?
Find John 14 with me, but put a bookmark at 1 Samuel 15 as well.
Husbands and boyfriends, move from the heavenlies to the earthly for a moment. Do you know your wife’s or your girlfriend’s primary love language? I’m not asking the ladies, because men are too easy ?. You either have to ask her or study her in order to figure it out. Wouldn’t it be easier if she just told you?
Listen carefully for Jesus’ primary love language.
Today’s Scripture
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” Judas (not Iscariot) said to him, “Lord, how is it that you will manifest yourself to us, and not to the world?” Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father’s who sent me.
“These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (John 14:18-26).
Remember, this is all happening the night before Jesus is murdered. It reminds you of how someone will linger at an airport with a friend or a family member until they almost miss their plane. Had you been there, you might think it was an ordinary conversation Jesus was having with the Disciples. He had taught them dozens and dozens of times before. But a few minutes into His speech, you can sense Jesus’ intensity. This was different.
This passage is so rich, and there is so much here. We cannot possibly get to it all.
1. Jesus Repeats Himself
“Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him” (John 14:21).
1.1 The Setting
These words in John 14:15–24 were spoken just hours before the greatest event in world history. They were spoken just hours before the greatest act of love in history – the death of the Son of God. This isn’t just a pre-game pep talk. The atmosphere is far weightier than a coach’s locker room speech. Jesus knows the cross is hours away, and He chooses to repeat one theme over and over. Jesus kept telling the Disciples all night essentially the same message: “I’m leaving, and you cannot come with me.”
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live” (John 14:18-19).
The Disciples were confused. This was an action-packed night. They had taken the Lord’s Supper together. Jesus had washed their feet only minutes before. Judas was only minutes from betraying Jesus. And Peter would deny Jesus only moments from our account.
1.2 Repetition
In the midst of all this, Jesus repeats Himself. Teachers will tell you that there is no tool like repetition. Jesus repeats the same thought five times in the matter of a few verses:
“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do” (John 14:12a).
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).
“Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me” (John 14:21a).
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word…’” (John 14:23a).
“Whoever does not love me does not keep my words” (John 14:24).
Clearly, this is really important to Jesus. If I want you to catch on to what I have to say, I’ll repeat it over and over, again and again.1
Do you hear about the two frogs that were sitting on a log next to each other? One was named Peat, and the other was named Repeat. Pete jumps off the log, so who is left? Two frogs are sitting on a log next to each other. One was named Peat, and the other was named Repeat. ?.
Again, any teacher will tell you that there is no tool like repetition. Jesus says, “The test of real love is whether you keep His commandments.” Again, how much does obeying Jesus matter to you on a one to ten scale?
1.3 Obedience as Optional
Can you think of someone who says they are a Christian but treats obeying God as optional?
• Can you think of someone who says they are a believer and sleeps around with others, ignoring the Bible’s command to honor the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4)?
• Can you think of someone who claims to be a believer but is stingy with their money, refusing to give to Christian causes, yet lives a lavish lifestyle?
• Can you think of someone who claims to be a believer but never attends a Bible study, church service, or prays with anyone, and they are not bothered by this?
Again, how much does obeying Jesus matter to you on a one to ten scale? Jesus says the result of loving me is a desire to keep my commandments.
1.4 It’s the Result Of…
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father’s who sent me’” (John 14:23-24).
Loving Jesus is first, and keeping His commands is the result. This order is really important. Notice the sequence: Love comes first, obedience follows. When Jesus says in verse 15, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments,” he does not mean that love and commandment-keeping are the same thing.
Love is more than simply His commandments. Love for Christ is admiration and worship for His greatness. Love for Christ is worship. We need to think carefully about this because almost all religions get this wrong.
1.4 Three Myths about My Obedience
1.4.1 Myth #1: Obedience is Optional
Think about all the people in your life who call themselves a believer.
LA Riots in 1992
Back in the 1990s, Los Angeles erupted in a six-day riot (April 29-May, 1992). It was triggered by the acquittal of four LAPD officers who had been videotaped beating an unarmed black man named Rodney King. When the officers were found not guilty of using excessive force, many people felt the justice system had failed. So, a riot took over the area that killed some sixty people, injured 2,000, and caused more than one billion dollars in property damage. It was in the midst of all this that a radio reporter broadcast an interview he had had with one of the looters. The man had just stepped out of a record store carrying a number of cassette tapes he decided he wanted. When asked what he had stolen, the man replied, “Gospel tapes. I love Jesus.”2 Doesn’t it seem like American believers think obedience to Jesus is optional?
Paying Your Bill
Imagine if a friend of yours said, “I was at your home the other day, and you weren’t there. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have looked, but I saw a bill on the table. I looked at the bill, and I said, ‘You know, because I’m your friend, I’m going to pay that bill.’” So, imagine that your friend actually wrote out a check, put it in the envelope, and sent it in, and said, “I paid your bill. I just wanted you to know that.” How would you feel? It all depends on how big the bill was. What if it were your last month’s cell phone bill? What would you say? You’d say, “Wow. Thank you.” But what if it were something bigger than a cell phone bill? If the bill were just your cell phone bill, you’d be touched. You’d say, “Thank you, that was kind of you. You didn’t have to do that.” It would feel nice, but it wouldn’t change your whole life. But what if a friend approached you and said, “I’ve learned your child has cancer. I’m going to pay for all her treatment.” How would you feel then? You wouldn’t just say, ‘Thanks, I appreciate it.’ You’d probably break down in tears. You’d never look at that friend the same way again. You’d know: this person saved my family. Their gift didn’t just make life a little easier—it changed everything. Sin isn’t a “cell phone bill” we could eventually pay off. It’s a crushing, life-and-death debt we could never cover.
Jesus stepped in, not to handle something minor, but to take on our greatest need—our separation from God. His sacrifice doesn’t just make life “nicer.” It changes everything. Do you see Jesus as someone who did you a small favor or as your Savior who paid your greatest debt? If the Son of God loves you this much to die for you, would you carelessly give a flip less what He wants? Once I fully feel the full weight of my forgiveness on the cross, I’m on my knees with gratitude. There’s no way I can live like: “Jesus died for my sins? I’m going to sleep around with whoever!” “Jesus died for my sins? Forgive my enemies? They can go to hell!”
Myth #1: Obedience is Optional
1.4.2 Myth #2: God Waits for Us to Love Him First
Now we know that God doesn’t wait for us to obey Him before He loves us. No, God didn’t wait on anything or anyone to love us: “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
No, God didn’t wait for us to love Him first. He loved us first, and don’t ever forget this. This means our relationship with the Father is about grace. This is not a transaction where you earn points with the Father by keeping His commands, like the points you earn with Whataburger on their app.
Grace is God’s inexhaustible capacity to forgive you and bless you despite what you’ve done.3 Grace is doing something good for someone who not only doesn’t deserve it, but he/she deserve the exact opposite.
In every single world religion, you do your part, and then God does His part. But Jesus and Christianity say you are saved 100% by the grace of God and 0% by what you do. In Islam, salvation comes from a combination of faith in Allah, good deeds, and divine mercy. Hinduism teaches that there are multiple paths to salvation (moksha). Yes, there is a concept of grace in Hinduism, but grace in Hinduism is typically achieved through one's devotion and righteous actions. In Buddhism, salvation (nirvana) is not achieved through divine grace but through individual effort, meditation, and moral living. Our Sikh friends teach that salvation (union with God) is attained through divine grace (Nadar) and righteous living, including meditating on God’s name and living ethically. Jews teach that salvation is primarily linked to obedience to God's laws (Torah). Lastly, our LDS friends believe the Book of Mormon, which says, “It is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” (2 Nephi 25:23). Our LDS friends want to get into God’s kitchen and add two parts grace and two parts “what I do” in the recipe of God’s acceptance.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Ephesians 2:8-9 is jaw-dropping. It’s a too good to be true kind of statement. If grace were a business, then many would say that Jesus and Christianity have cornered the market. Jesus and Christianity do NOT just have a competitive edge over Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. They have cornered the market; Christianity has a monopoly on grace. Let me say it again: Jesus has a monopoly on grace. If grace were operating under the business rules of our nation, then the American government would seek to break them up.
1.4.3 Myth #3: Our Love Earns Jesus’ Love
Our love doesn’t earn Jesus’ love for us. Our love for Jesus is a response to His love for us. You might be tempted to think this when you read Jesus’ words here. No, our love for Jesus doesn’t somehow earn Jesus’ love for us. In fact, God supplies the strength for us to obey Him.
Later on, in Jesus’ last-minute instructions to the Disciples, He says this: “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever [continues] in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Like a branch connected to the trunk, believers need to draw strength from God to please Him. The Apostle Paul would say of his life: “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). You cannot please God apart from God’s power in your life. And Paul would tell the ancient believers this: “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). You cannot obey God apart from God’s power in your life. Obedience flows from love. Love flows from being loved by Jesus.
1.5 The Famous Story of Saul’s Disobedience
Let me tell you a story. Israel’s first king was a man named Saul. The Bible says he was really tall – God loves tall people more, you know ?. He started out as a decent guy, but as time progressed, he became a power-hungry, abusive tyrant. There comes this point in Saul’s life where he directly disobeys God again.
God sent Saul to eliminate a group of people called the Amalekites, a really bad group of people. The Amalekites were a violent people. They committed atrocities. They committed genocide. God sent Saul for a war of justice, where evil was eliminated, not a war of conquest, where Saul would become rich. God’s command was crystal clear:
• Destroy everything.
• Take no plunder.
• Don’t profit a single cent.
And that’s crucial for the story. God says to Saul, “Saul, I want you to go after those wicked people, but when you defeat them, take no prisoners for booty. Take no plunder. Take none of the livestock. You will profit not one cent, because this is going to be an act of truth and justice, not for profit.” Saul had a better idea. Saul fought the Amalekites and won, but he failed to eliminate them, expressly disobeying what God specifically told him. Now, God was crystal clear on what to do. It’s right here that the Bible quotes God as saying He regrets having made Saul king (1 Samuel 15:10).
Pause for a moment, my believing friend, and think about your station in life. Would it not be a terrible thing if God were to say, “I regret making you his father”? Where you were placed in a station of life with tremendous responsibility, but you repeatedly put yourself first. “I regret making you the department head.” “I regret making you the pastor of this church.” What a chilling thought.
Back to the story. God sends Samuel, the prophet, to him, and the prophet says, “Why don’t you listen to God and obey Him?”
When the prophet challenges the defiant king, we immediately see two things. First, we find out that the King “pounced” on the best items of the Amalekites when God told him not to profit from this battle. The Bible uses the word “pounced” here to describe King Saul’s actions. So, first, he was motivated by greed. Second, he was already building a statue of himself. So, second, he was motivated by his own fame. Saul was appointed king, and his motivation should have been justice. Instead, he was motivated by fame and greed. Again, Saul starts as a decent guy who spirals downward into a power-hungry, abusive tyrant.
While the king was surrounded by all the livestock he took against God’s command, Saul greeted Samuel with these words: “May the LORD bless you! I have done what the LORD said” (1 Samuel 15:13b). Picture a bank robber surrounded by $100 bills saying, “May the LORD bless you! I have done what the LORD said,” and you get the picture. He was commanded to destroy the very livestock that was all around him! He’s having trouble speaking to the prophet because of the noise of the livestock he had stolen! And yet, he says, “I have done what the LORD said.” Marvel with me at the nearly infinite capacity of the human heart for self-deception.4 Now, it’s there that the prophet says these immortal words:
“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams.
For rebellion is as the sin of divination,
and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has also rejected you from being king” (1 Samuel 15:22-23).
I invite you to read the entire episode on your own. The answer is clearly no. The Lord delights more in your obedience than in your performance of religious ceremonies. The willful refusal to disobey God is elevating yourself in the place of God.
1.6 Make My Home With Him
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father’s who sent me’” (John 14:23-24).
I want to talk to believers in the room for a minute. Watch the sequence carefully in verses 23 and 24. Jesus loves us first, and we love Him in response. Once the Father sees our love for Him, He responds with even more love: “and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him” (John 14:23b). So we begin in worship by telling the Lord: “I love you, Jesus; I stand in awe of you; I trust in you; you mean more to me than anything; I love your ways; I love your words; I love your promises and provisions; I love everything about you; I worship you.”
When this happens, we are pulled into the most dynamic love and unity that has ever existed: the love and unity within the Trinity. Note the words “we will come to him” and “and make our home with him” at the end of verse 23. Jesus doesn’t say “[I] will come to him” and “and make [my] home with him.” No, Jesus says “we” and “our.” When you obey Jesus after first placing your faith in Him, you will be pulled into the most satisfying love in existence. You will experience the love the Trinity has for another.
You talk about lightning in a bottle! No, this is lightning in your soul! You will delight to know the very same love the Father has for the Son, and the Son has for the Holy Spirit. May we never forget that keeping the commandments of Jesus comes from loving Jesus, and loving Jesus comes from being loved by Jesus.5
EndNotes
1 Howard G. Hendricks and William D. Hendricks, Living by the Book: The Art and Science of Reading the Bible (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2007), 152..
2 https://www.sermonsearch.com/sermon-outlines/77708/loving-on-jesus-1-of-3/?utm; accessed August 31, 2025.
3 Walter A. Elwell and Barry J. Beitzel, “Grace,” Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1988),vol 1: 899.
4 Timothy J. Keller, “Saul’s Rejection,” The Timothy Keller Sermon Archive, 2014–2015 (New York: Redeemer Presbyterian Church, 2014).
5 John Piper, “ The Test of Authenticity in a New Sanctuary,” Sermons from John Piper (1990–1999) (Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God, 2007).
